|
EL BROMANCE posted:It’s also useful if you want a laugh, as the people who fill that thing out are nuts. Oh man, this reminds me. I gotta see if CAPalert is still a thing.
|
#
?
Aug 18, 2018 19:52
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 20, 2024 16:49 |
|
|
Yessssssss I totally trolled the capalert guy back in 1999 or so when I was in high school out of boredom.
|
|
#
?
Aug 18, 2018 20:28
|
|
|
I watched Marked For Death with Steven Seagal, and it's really fun. The main villain, Screwface, is a blast. I'm a sucker for anytime the bad guys--in this case a Jamaican drug cartel--uses voodoo and black magic to stop the hero. Probably my favorite Seagal flick.
|
|
#
?
Aug 18, 2018 23:36
|
|
|
EL BROMANCE posted:Yessssssss I totally trolled the capalert guy back in 1999 or so when I was in high school out of boredom. This dude may very well have gotten two separate emails from us on the same day.
|
|
#
?
Aug 19, 2018 04:15
|
|
|
I remember getting a very earnest and polite reply from him. Killed all the joy. I wonder how much abuse he got for his silly site over the years.
|
|
#
?
Aug 19, 2018 04:37
|
|
|
Since I learned about it from this very site back in the pre-pay registration days... I'm assuming a lot.
|
|
#
?
Aug 19, 2018 04:43
|
|
|
Finally got a chance to watch Upgrade and boy was it a) a lot of fun and b) completely not what was I expecting. A lot more future sci-fi stuff than expected, not that I mind. It had a kind of Deus Ex: Human Revolution feel in the setting. The ending also wasn't what I thought was going to happen, but good on them for doing it.
|
|
#
?
Aug 19, 2018 08:16
|
|
|
MrBling posted:Finally got a chance to watch Upgrade and boy was it a) a lot of fun and b) completely not what was I expecting.
|
|
#
?
Aug 19, 2018 09:22
|
|
|
Franchescanado posted:I watched Marked For Death with Steven Seagal, and it's really fun. The main villain, Screwface, is a blast. I'm a sucker for anytime the bad guys--in this case a Jamaican drug cartel--uses voodoo and black magic to stop the hero. Probably my favorite Seagal flick. My favorite Direct to Video Seagal flick is Belly of the Beast. It's so loving stupid and over the top, it's an absolute blast. He has to go to Thailand to rescue his daughter yada yada, he teams up with an old buddy of his who turned into a Buddhist monk after accidentally murdering a woman during a shootout years earlier. Out of nowhere the villain hires an evil priest (???) to subdue Steven but then his friends from a nearby Buddhist monastery do a...prayer....spirit bomb??? To protect him. It's beautiful. Here, watch this poo poo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaNGJdyt2Ds This movie is what would happen if Big Trouble In Little China wasn't comedy/satire.
|
|
#
?
Aug 19, 2018 20:44
|
|
|
I remember seeing part of that one run on late night television. Isn't it the one where the final boss turns out to be a white guy in a billowy shirt who he beats in a fencing contest (the guy has a rapier and Seagal has a katana)?
|
|
#
?
Aug 19, 2018 21:00
|
|
|
Wheat Loaf posted:I remember seeing part of that one run on late night television. Isn't it the one where the final boss turns out to be a white guy in a billowy shirt who he beats in a fencing contest (the guy has a rapier and Seagal has a katana)? That's a different but also terrible flick Out of Reach: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_-MXLG_i-c I like Belly of the Beast better because it has more laughs per minute. But man, check out that final pose on Seagal in this one.
|
|
#
?
Aug 22, 2018 12:28
|
|
|
Franchescanado posted:I watched Marked For Death with Steven Seagal, and it's really fun. The main villain, Screwface, is a blast. I'm a sucker for anytime the bad guys--in this case a Jamaican drug cartel--uses voodoo and black magic to stop the hero. Probably my favorite Seagal flick. As an amateur Seagalogist, as I recall, Fire Down Below is his last film where there are at least a few minutes of fight scenes worth watching. I'm not sure when his health declined so much that he couldn't even do a few aikido moves any more. Halloween Jack fucked around with this message at 16:35 on Aug 22, 2018 |
|
#
?
Aug 22, 2018 16:32
|
|
|
Fire Down Below is also great. "I cracked my wood, that's no good." *whack*
|
|
#
?
Aug 22, 2018 16:37
|
|
|
Seagal practices a weird kind of Hollywood woke liberalism wherein he thinks he's making a socially conscious movie by depicting benevolent racist stereotypes alongside malevolent racist stereotypes, with the "good ones" winning out. In Fire Down Below he does this with poor Appalachian whites.
|
|
#
?
Aug 22, 2018 16:49
|
|
|
The portrayal of Jamaicans in Marked For Death were certainly problematic. There's a few lines of dialogue where they say the criminals make up less than 1% of the Jamaican population and they talk about how nice Jamaicans are when they go to Jamaica, but they are only ever shown as black magic drug dealing murderers. Even the "good one" is an double agent that sides with the good guys.
|
|
#
?
Aug 22, 2018 16:57
|
|
|
Well, On Deadly Ground depicts poor Inuit alcoholics alongside those living a traditional premodern lifestyle, and alcoholism among Inuits is a thing. Fire Down Below depicts a poor Appalachian community plagued by polluting corporations and the local police who collude with them, which is also a thing. Voodoo cults in Jamaican posses, on the other hand...
|
|
#
?
Aug 22, 2018 17:04
|
|
|
On Deadly Ground is also the one where he plays slapsies with a guy and manages to smack the racism out of him through his hands.
|
|
#
?
Aug 22, 2018 17:21
|
|
|
Wheat Loaf posted:On Deadly Ground is also the one where he plays slapsies with a guy and manages to smack the racism out of him through his hands. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iq4dhgD07qo Best scene from On Deadly Ground.
|
|
#
?
Aug 22, 2018 19:29
|
|
|
On deadly ground was the last Seagal movie I ever saw.
|
|
#
?
Aug 23, 2018 07:28
|
|
|
Just got back from Mile 22 and I gotta say I'm not really getting the hate for this movie, it was uhhhhh pretty awesome? Far from being a demerit I found the editing on this movie to be a fantastic development on Berg's style. It reminded me of Transformers: The Last Knight's action sequence as nightmare style. Also, Wahlberg's character is hilarious. I lost it at the end of basically every time he chews out his squaddies. e: I really like the high concept of Mark Wahlberg IS Ben Affleck's character from The Accountant VERSUS the martial arts movie genre Harime Nui fucked around with this message at 10:50 on Aug 23, 2018 |
|
#
?
Aug 23, 2018 08:50
|
|
|
Renoistic posted:On deadly ground was the last Seagal movie I ever saw.
|
|
#
?
Aug 23, 2018 14:33
|
|
|
It’s worth mentioning that Seagal actually directed On Deadly Ground, which makes it a true Fat Guy Passion Project, and also explains the liberal use of stock footage montages of bears walking through nature to pad time.
|
|
#
?
Aug 23, 2018 16:25
|
|
|
Under Siege is probably Seagal's best movie; it was directed by Andrew Davis, who also directed The Fugitive. He must be one of the most underrated (or at least under-recognised) action directors of the past 30 years. I think he goes in that category of directors who are very good at bringing a bit of a je ne sais quoi to action movies. For some reason I had the idea in my head that he'd also directed the movie Witness. Of course that was Peter Weir. And of course it's a crime thriller rather than an action movie. Even so, I think it shares a particular quality (other than Harrison Ford) with The Fugitive but it's one I can't quite define.
|
|
#
?
Aug 23, 2018 17:35
|
|
|
Both of them focus on the mundane aspects of laying low and the threat/instinct to let your guard down, IMO
|
|
#
?
Aug 23, 2018 17:39
|
|
|
Wheat Loaf posted:Under Siege is probably Seagal's best movie; it was directed by Andrew Davis, who also directed The Fugitive. He must be one of the most underrated (or at least under-recognised) action directors of the past 30 years. I think he goes in that category of directors who are very good at bringing a bit of a je ne sais quoi to action movies. Under Siege is the only one that I think feels like a legit action movie that just happens to star Seagal, all of the others are showcases for Seagal first and foremost. Seagal as a petty officer chef is hilarious though.
|
|
#
?
Aug 23, 2018 17:43
|
|
|
I remember reading through some Steven Seagal iMDB trivia a while back, and had to screen shot some stuff that basically felt like it was written by the man himself. https://twitter.com/ChadMuskehound/status/888802795217985537
|
|
#
?
Aug 23, 2018 18:16
|
|
|
I wish Seagal had a quarter of the self awareness that Van Damme has grown into, so that his constant godfuck lunacy could be endearing instead of exhausting.
|
|
#
?
Aug 23, 2018 18:18
|
|
|
Fart City posted:I wish Seagal had a quarter of the self awareness that Van Damme has grown into, so that his constant godfuck lunacy could be endearing instead of exhausting. I thought he was headed in that direction when he had that reality show where he was like a county sheriff or something, but haha no of course not, the show had zero traces of irony whatsoever.
|
|
#
?
Aug 23, 2018 18:21
|
|
|
The cool thing about aikido demonstrations is that they're all staged, but the people doing them don't know that.
|
|
#
?
Aug 23, 2018 18:26
|
|
|
Does anyone remember the Johnny Bravo character Squint Ringo? It's a great Seagal parody.
|
|
#
?
Aug 23, 2018 18:28
|
|
|
Halloween Jack posted:The cool thing about aikido demonstrations is that they're all staged, but the people doing them don't know that. This has to be one of the best videos in the history of the internet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEDaCIDvj6I I really do think that guy had been a "master" for so long that he'd bought into his own bullshit.
|
|
#
?
Aug 23, 2018 18:31
|
|
|
EL BROMANCE posted:I remember reading through some Steven Seagal iMDB trivia a while back, and had to screen shot some stuff that basically felt like it was written by the man himself. It's a bit like if Chuck Norris Facts had been started by Chuck Norris.
|
|
#
?
Aug 23, 2018 18:33
|
|
|
Basebf555 posted:This has to be one of the best videos in the history of the internet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEDaCIDvj6I Safety Not Guaranteed being about Kiai wouldve been way better
|
|
#
?
Aug 24, 2018 19:54
|
|
|
I'm watching Hudson Hawk for the first time and it's retarded in a cool way. Also going very hard on that early 90s children's adventure aesthetic
|
|
#
?
Aug 26, 2018 04:44
|
|
|
I think this movie would have been much better received if it had just been made like, three years earlier
|
|
#
?
Aug 26, 2018 04:58
|
|
|
And didnt have hard swears
|
|
#
?
Aug 26, 2018 05:48
|
|
|
got any sevens posted:And didnt have hard swears It's a really freakin weird movie, between that and the surprisingly graphic violence in the third act. Hard to chuckle over the umpteenth cappuccino joke when you've just seen a man decapitate himself with his own wristblades.
|
|
#
?
Aug 26, 2018 06:22
|
|
|
Fart City posted:It's a really freakin weird movie, between that and the surprisingly graphic violence in the third act. 
|
|
#
?
Aug 26, 2018 07:32
|
|
|
The early 90s was a weird time when you could have superficially kid-friendly movies with a lot of violence. I think it reached its absurd apex with The Miami Connection, which is mentally on the level of a Three Ninjas or Scooby Doo direct-to-video movie, but has people being slaughtered with katanas and assault rifles.
|
|
#
?
Aug 26, 2018 14:00
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 20, 2024 16:49 |
|
|
Payndz posted:"Looks like you won't be attending that hat convention!" I laughed way too hard at this quote from movie I haven't seen in at least a decade. I feel the need to rectify that as soon as possible. e: Looking up my options for viewing it and I found this:  And I'm wondering if they decided to make this a double feature due to both being action-comedy box office bombs for (at the time) big action stars, or due to having HH titles or both. Gravy Jones fucked around with this message at 14:13 on Aug 26, 2018 |
|
#
?
Aug 26, 2018 14:07
|
|
