/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Milotic: Mar 4, 2009; 9CL apologist; Slippery Tilde

Jeez, settle down Batwoman

I have to go to a wedding with my boyfriend's [29m] super WASPY family. I [23f] have some injuries that are obviously from punching something.

quote:

u/owchmyhand
I've been doing kickboxing for years, I really enjoy it and the workout helps a lot with stress. I've also got some punching bags in my basement I practice with sometimes.

Yesterday, my friend told me about a really tough thing she was going through, when we were out for drinks. I went home that night kinda drunk and really upset, because I hate seeing a friend hurting.

I went to vent some of that frustration on the punching bag, and like an idiot I didn't take the time to wrap my hands first or put on gloves. I just went full force with bare hands for a good while, then collapsed into bed. The next morning, I woke up to bloody knuckles, and some bruising and swelling. I felt like such a dumbass, I should of known better. I won't even be able to train for a little while, as my hands need to heal.

Anyway, my boyfriend saw my hands, and he freaked out, asking what I was going to do about them when attending his cousin's wedding on Saturday. I said I didn't know. He suggested makeup but I don't know how to do makeup that well to hide it. Plus my knuckles are scabbing over, so that's hard to hide. It's an outdoor summer wedding and I sweat too much for makeup. There's no good excuse I can use for the injuries, they're so obviously from punching something.

His family is really WASPY, and they've already made some passive aggressive comments about my hobby being unfeminine, even when I tried to put it in a "It's just a good bit of cardio" kinda light. So he's definitely thinking it's gonna be awkward.

I feel so dumb for injuring myself like that, and I'd feel embarrassed telling the truth to his family about how I hurt my hands. But if I don't explain, the rumors might be way worse...

Should I try to hide my hands with... IDK makeup or gloves? Or let them be seen? And if I don't hide them, how should I handle it if anyone asks why they're busted up?

TLDR - I stupidly hurt my hands on a punching bag, my knuckles are scabbed up, and my fingers and hands have some ugly bruising and swelling. My boyfriend's cousin's wedding is this weekend, and I don't know how to explain it to my boyfriend's WASPY family.

# ? Aug 23, 2018 19:44

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# ? May 30, 2024 22:30

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

Milotic posted:

Jeez, settle down Batwoman

I have to go to a wedding with my boyfriend's [29m] super WASPY family. I [23f] have some injuries that are obviously from punching something.

Pretend you got into a bar brawl

# ? Aug 23, 2018 19:46

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

If they make any snarky comments, punch them

# ? Aug 23, 2018 19:47

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

alternate option: show up to the wedding in boxing gloves

# ? Aug 23, 2018 19:47

china bot: Sep 7, 2014; you listen HERE pal
SAY GOODBYE TO TELEPHONE SEX; Plaster Town Cop

BF: I'm sorry, but my family says I can't date someone with such low knuckle standards

# ? Aug 23, 2018 19:49

noether: May 1, 2017; some kinda cutesy shoggoth

Milotic posted:

Jeez, settle down Batwoman

I have to go to a wedding with my boyfriend's [29m] super WASPY family. I [23f] have some injuries that are obviously from punching something.

bf and his family are clearly massive cowards

# ? Aug 23, 2018 19:53

P-Mack: Nov 10, 2007

Milotic posted:

My [31M] mother [69F] wants to donate her retirement funds to a Buddhist organization

I hate these ones where people talk a lot about cultural differences without ever actually naming the culture. Maybe a redditor from or familiar with your culture would be able to help you if they actually knew.

# ? Aug 23, 2018 19:55

Universe Master: Jun 20, 2005; Darn Fine Pie

"Me? You should see the other guy!" If any one says anything.

# ? Aug 23, 2018 19:57

Mr. Fall Down Terror: Jan 24, 2018; by Fluffdaddy

Milotic posted:

I have to go to a wedding with my boyfriend's [29m] super WASPY family. I [23f] have some injuries that are obviously from punching something.

gloves. next question!

# ? Aug 23, 2018 19:58

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

P-Mack posted:

I hate these ones where people talk a lot about cultural differences without ever actually naming the culture. Maybe a redditor from or familiar with your culture would be able to help you if they actually knew.

She's from a culture where her brother's 400k balance on his mortgage gets paid by mommy when she dies.

# ? Aug 23, 2018 19:58

Barudak: May 7, 2007

P-Mack posted:

I hate these ones where people talk a lot about cultural differences without ever actually naming the culture. Maybe a redditor from or familiar with your culture would be able to help you if they actually knew.

The culture of getting scammed by religions in your old age is universal

# ? Aug 23, 2018 19:58

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

Go to the wedding, then stand up and say �I OBJECT,� then just start punching. All the people in his family, punch them. Punch the bride and groom, punch your boyfriend, punch the minister.

Don�t stop there, just keep punching. Punch that stupid arch trellis until it splinters. Punch the wedding cake. Punch the sun,

Then write about it on Reddit

# ? Aug 23, 2018 19:59

burial: Sep 13, 2002; actually, that won't be necessary.

My (28M) GF (28F) of 2 years lacks any moral compass. Is this a dealbreaker for the future?

quote:

u/Lameliness
Throwaway bc she knows my main.

I�ve been with my gf for 2 years and our relationship is wonderful overall, we don�t have arguments or disagreements. I don�t think we ever argued over these 2 years. We have been living together for 9 months in the house she owns. From the beginning we decided who pays what bills so there are no financial disagreements.

She is beautiful, smart, very well educated, has a highly well paying career and is very financially stable. However, I noticed a disturbing thing about a seemingly perfect human being. She doesn�t really have a notion of right and wrong. Everything is fair game if it benefits her. She is somewhat selfish. I don�t know how to explain it so please excuse that. Her career is perfect for such individual who has no problems deceiving people and screwing them over. I�ll try to give some examples. She has an apartment inside the city in a very desirable area where availability is super scarce. Her niece is going to a college which is literally across the street from said apartment. When my GF�s aunt asked if she could rent it out for her daughter, my GF gave her a price $350 over the market because �well, she desperately needs it, otherwise niece will have to pay for subway or ubers or a car so if she wants it she can pay up�. They ended up renting it for that price because the alternatives were more expensive. Secondly, we had a friend moving into his new house. My GF has a huge SUV which could be used to hook a trailer to and haul furniture and stuff. When my friend asked if we�d be willing to help, my GF started Googling the prices of Uhaul and said, �yeah, we can do it for $220�. The friend offered pizza and beer but GF wasn�t having it.

Maybe these examples are not the most illustrative but she generally has zero issues with something that is morally wrong and questionable as long as it serves her purpose. I�m pretty sure she�d snitch on her own mother if there�s something in for her. She called the authorities on a guy who asked for employment because he didn�t have papers and wanted some work for cash.

I�m not perfect either and I don�t wanna judge but what do you guys think? Am I being too sensitive about this?

TL;DR: my GF doesn�t really have moral values

�SO is capitalism made flesh. Any chance she may one day come to view me in the same detached, transaction-oriented way she views everyone else?�

# ? Aug 23, 2018 20:02

Xenocides: Jan 14, 2008; This world looks very scary....

I want to believe this relationship started due to him carrying a printer over to her place.

quote:

Girlfriend[20/F] started a huge fight because I didn't ask why she didn't reply to my[24/M] text. I ended up getting dumped because of it. Really confused....

My girlfriend of 2 months started a huge fight yesterday. So basically I texted her a sweet godmorning text in the morning and she got really happy about it. Afterwards she asked what I was doing etc. and I replied but she didn't answer my text. She had said the day before that her friend was going to sleep over at her. And I thought she was spending time with her so I didn't bother if she didn't answer me for 4 hours. I wanted to give her space. After 4 hours she texts me all angry about why I do not care about her and why I didn't ask why she didn't reply, I said I thought you were with your friend and I saw on Facebook Messenger that you were active so I assumed nothing happened to you. She was furious and said she was testing me to see if I cared about her and I said that's not a nice thing to do. I said if you saw my message you should have replied. She got furious and started attacking me for being a bad boyfriend. She said she wanted a man not a boy. And I said I do care about you it was just because I thought you were with your friend and I wanted you to have your space. That's why I didn't ask if something had happened.

Long story short I ended up apologizing for not asking if something had happened to her during the hours she didn't reply. She still said that I was coming up with excuses and she didn't want me to be sorry. She said she didn't want to teach me how to behave like a man. I ended up apologizing and said I would ask more frequently how she is during the day just to check if she is alright. She said I need to call her when she doesn't answer for a while because she might be dead or she might be cheating on me. So finally after a 30 min intense phone call she says she is not angry any longer but wants time for herself and I said I respect that. So we ended the phone call. About 30 min after we hung up I heard my phone vibrating during the night and I woke up because of it. I saw texts from her saying she is breaking up with me because she feels like we are not compatible with eachother. I was like seriously? Before this argument we had such a good time together and just yesterday she said that she was so happy with me because I understood her and I was giving her so much affection and she loved it. I am just confused. I didn't end up pursuing her more because that's just my personality if someone doesn't want to be with me I won't force them because it requires that two people want to be in a relatipnship to make it work.

She was furious and said she didn't want this any longer and that I was like a girl. She started attacking me personally and said that she doesn't like relationships and said you have to come to my parents and ask them if I can propuse to their daughter. She wants an engagement already after two months. I said never I need to know someone for at least 1 to 2 years before I even think about engagement. She said I should leave her alone and should stay far away from her.

She is 20 and has already divorced once and I want to know her very well before I even think about marriage. I feel like she is forcing me to marry her fast I really feel uncomfortable.

I am really confused. Yesterday I was the best guy ever and the most loving man. Today I am a bad guy because she didn't reply to my text and I gave her space to be with her friend. Guess what? I ended up getting dumped.
I do not know what to do. Have someone ever been with a partner like this before? I don't feel like I have done something wrong. Should I fight for her or just leave her?

Tl;dr Girlfriend dumped me because I didn't ask her why she didn't reply to my text for a couple of hours. She by purpose did not reply to my text just to see if I cared about her. I wanted to give her space because she was with her friend. Not a good excuse according to her. Apologized and promised to more frequently ask about her but still ended up getting dumped.

Problem solved, right? Let us see what the poster has been posting since. Here are the threads he started from most recent back to original post:

When they split you black. (Split Black is the time when a BPD views everything negatively)

Do you think a pwBPD would care about their ex or current partner if they died when they are split black?

Haha great video by this guy. He is spot on. (Video about abused men)

So accurate picture of how a BPD relationship evolves.

I couldn't stop crying today...

Went NC 3 weeks ago feeling depressed and need clarity.

BPD ex became a new person after break up. New identity and values. Anybody been through something similar?

My list of how to spot a woman diagnosed with BPD during the honey moon phase.

My list of how to spot borderline women during the honey moon phase.

What do borderlines look for in a partner? Do they just pick anyone to fill their emptiness or do they look for some qualities ?

How do borderlines chose their partner? Do they just take anyone to fill their emptiness?

How does a BPD feel when they dump you and you go no contact and you don�t chase her ?

How does a BPD feel when they break up and you don�t chase and go no contact ?

Crazy ex girlfriend[20/F] contacts me[24/M] today and texts me that she felt weak during our relationship because I was not a man enough to propose to her after 2 months.

But it is 168 days since last post so maybe he is better now?

# ? Aug 23, 2018 20:02

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Barudak posted:

The culture of getting scammed by religions in your old age is universal

It's loving insane the amount of financial abuse of elders that goes on. It just staggers.

# ? Aug 23, 2018 20:03

noether: May 1, 2017; some kinda cutesy shoggoth

burial posted:

My (28M) GF (28F) of 2 years lacks any moral compass. Is this a dealbreaker for the future?

�SO is capitalism made flesh. Any chance she may one day come to view me in the same detached, transaction-oriented way she views everyone else?�

my personification of market forces can't possibly be this cute

# ? Aug 23, 2018 20:07

Hello Ketene: Dec 30, 2011

Mom and Dad (F58, M60) may divorce over birthday gift I (F30) got him

quote:

Recently my Dad celebrated his 60th birthday. He�s always wanted a man cave so I had a friend take a prefab shed, fully outfit it and bring it during the party.

My Dad loved it. My Mom did not.

She yelled at me (in front of everyone) about how I knew she was going to transform their den into his man cave for Christmas and I did this to upstage her. I had no idea she had this planned because we don�t talk other than family celebrations a few times a year. We spoke 1 time about his party and that was to confirm that I was bringing the champagne. I told her she must have told my sister (who I also rarely talk to).

She began screaming and crying about how I�ve always been a horrible daughter, how much she regretted having me, how my sister is her favorite , etc. (to be honest at this point I tuned her out because I�d heard it all before). I walk away, she follows me. My Dad stepped in front of her and told her to knock it off. She storms away and pouts.

At this point guests are leaving. My Dad asked if we could go to my house and continue the party. I agree. We began loading the food in my truck. My Mom throws his cake on the floor. We go around her.

My sister gets in my face about how I ruined the party, I tell her to back off (also a drama queen). Then my Mom storms over to us and yells at me for being mean to my sister. I ignore her and continue packing the food.

My Mom gives my Dad an ultimatum � either stay or leave for good. My Dad packs several suitcases, asks my friend to transport his man cave to my house and tells my Mom he�ll be back for the rest of his things later. My Mom is crying and my sister consoles her. We leave.

We continue the party at my house and have a good time despite everything that happened.

After the party, I apologize to my Dad. He tells me I have nothing to apologize for, he and my Mom have been having issues for a few years now and this isn�t about me so stay out of it. I tell him he can stay in my guest room for as long as he needs. He happily accepts.

It�s been 3 weeks. My Dad has essentially moved in. I don�t mind. My Dad is cool. Plus I feel guilty since his leaving is my fault.

About a week ago I ask my Dad if he has spoken to my Mom. He answered no and he doubts if he will anytime soon since she leaves him such angry messages. I asked him if he wanted to work it out. He told me he�s not going to discuss it with me since I�m his child not his friend. Fair enough.

Last night I overheard him ask his poker friends for a good divorce attorney in case he leaves her for good. He doesn�t see the point of marriage counseling. That he�s felt better than he�s felt in decades being away from her.

I feel really guilty. I didn�t mean for any of this to happen.

What should I do? Should I stay out of it like my Dad told me to? Should I try to intervene at this point? Any and all advice is welcome. Thanks.

tl;dr -Parents may divorce. I feel guilty since it was my birthday gift that caused it. What should I do (if anything)?

# ? Aug 23, 2018 20:09

Universe Master: Jun 20, 2005; Darn Fine Pie

Now he can have a whole man house.

# ? Aug 23, 2018 20:13

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

burial posted:

My (28M) GF (28F) of 2 years lacks any moral compass. Is this a dealbreaker for the future?

�SO is capitalism made flesh. Any chance she may one day come to view me in the same detached, transaction-oriented way she views everyone else?�

I have a boyfriend?!

# ? Aug 23, 2018 20:16

Barudak: May 7, 2007

�This is not your fault, and his been going on for your years�->It is all my fault and mom and dad would still be together if I hadnt gotten this gift.

# ? Aug 23, 2018 20:17

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

Miserable Maid posted:

I just like to give the Reddit kids the benefit of the doubt

Why

# ? Aug 23, 2018 20:18

Xenocides: Jan 14, 2008; This world looks very scary....

Pick posted:

I have a boyfriend?!

He is outside with a printer right now.

# ? Aug 23, 2018 20:36

Barudak: May 7, 2007

burial posted:

My (28M) GF (28F) of 2 years lacks any moral compass. Is this a dealbreaker for the future?

�SO is capitalism made flesh. Any chance she may one day come to view me in the same detached, transaction-oriented way she views everyone else?�

If you cant handle me at my Galt you dont deserve me at my Gulch

# ? Aug 23, 2018 20:39

Miserable Maid: Apr 22, 2010; Cat Army

Xenocides posted:

I want to believe this relationship started due to him carrying a printer over to her place.

Problem solved, right? Let us see what the poster has been posting since. Here are the threads he started from most recent back to original post:

When they split you black. (Split Black is the time when a BPD views everything negatively)

Do you think a pwBPD would care about their ex or current partner if they died when they are split black?

Haha great video by this guy. He is spot on. (Video about abused men)

So accurate picture of how a BPD relationship evolves.

I couldn't stop crying today...

Went NC 3 weeks ago feeling depressed and need clarity.

BPD ex became a new person after break up. New identity and values. Anybody been through something similar?

My list of how to spot a woman diagnosed with BPD during the honey moon phase.

My list of how to spot borderline women during the honey moon phase.

What do borderlines look for in a partner? Do they just pick anyone to fill their emptiness or do they look for some qualities ?

How do borderlines chose their partner? Do they just take anyone to fill their emptiness?

How does a BPD feel when they dump you and you go no contact and you don�t chase her ?

How does a BPD feel when they break up and you don�t chase and go no contact ?

Crazy ex girlfriend[20/F] contacts me[24/M] today and texts me that she felt weak during our relationship because I was not a man enough to propose to her after 2 months.

But it is 168 days since last post so maybe he is better now?

Oh God that was me at one point

Pathetic times....

# ? Aug 23, 2018 20:43

burial: Sep 13, 2002; actually, that won't be necessary.

Pick posted:

I have a boyfriend?!

I love that you just go ahead and own it. :3:

There isn�t one mention of sweet taxidermy in the whole thing though, so there�s maybe just a new friend out there waiting to meet you?

# ? Aug 23, 2018 20:44

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

Hello Ketene posted:

Mom and Dad (F58, M60) may divorce over birthday gift I (F30) got him

dad pete, so what

# ? Aug 23, 2018 20:44

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

Hello Ketene posted:

Mom and Dad (F58, M60) may divorce over birthday gift I (F30) got him

I like that some of the guests came to the coolparty, I bet they're stoked about this outcome

# ? Aug 23, 2018 20:51

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

burial posted:

My (28M) GF (28F) of 2 years lacks any moral compass. Is this a dealbreaker for the future?

�SO is capitalism made flesh. Any chance she may one day come to view me in the same detached, transaction-oriented way she views everyone else?�

Pop culture tells me there is a 100% chance she has a cocaine habit and also an adultery habit

it's all fun and games until her cocaine dealer says "I know some guys who'll give you $150 if you sell them your BF(28M)"

Xenocides posted:

But it is 168 days since last post so maybe he is better now?

My first reaction was "at least he got out" but jeez that wasn't any kind of escape for him really. Hopefully he's managed to block her out and they both got some therapy by now.

Just as people addicted to being right and helpful seek out incompetent people to baby, so do crazy people addicted to bullying seek out the easily bullied

# ? Aug 23, 2018 20:52

blockchain prenup: Mar 8, 2018

Hello Ketene posted:

He tells me I have nothing to apologize for, he and my Mom have been having issues for a few years now

well op, it sounds like you have nothing to apologize for, he and your mom have been having issues for a few years now

# ? Aug 23, 2018 20:53

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Hello Ketene posted:

Mom and Dad (F58, M60) may divorce over birthday gift I (F30) got him

please tell me the comments are saying "it is not your fault, don't try to 'fix' it"

OP and her sister are all grown up, there aren't even the usual bad reasons for these people to stay together if they're miserable

# ? Aug 23, 2018 20:55

burial: Sep 13, 2002; actually, that won't be necessary.

blockchain prenup posted:

well op, it sounds like you have nothing to apologize for, he and your mom have been having issues for a few years now

Look, I don�t know what your problem is but it�s really rude to just flat-out blame OP like that. Maybe the parents had been having issues for years.

# ? Aug 23, 2018 20:56

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Cool of OP to let him host poker night at her house too, or maybe it's in his man-shed

# ? Aug 23, 2018 21:00

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Milotic posted:

My [24f] coworker [32m] shows me pictures of his baby everyday - am I stuck doing this forever?

1) He�s just a proud Dad
2) Yes you are stuck forever
3) Oh my god, how pointless is your job if this is the biggest problem you have to deal with? You have to endure a daily human interaction with a person. Oh my God. The humanity.

I could have sworn there was some comedy sketch with someone whipping out pictures of their pets anytime a new parent tried to show them pictures of their kids at work.

I googled for it and just found a bunch of people asking for advice to get a coworker to stop interrupting them to show them baby pictures. And also a few where HR had to intervene and the parent went to the internet to complain.

# ? Aug 23, 2018 21:17

McDragon: Sep 11, 2007

sounds like that lady did her dad a favour tbh

# ? Aug 23, 2018 21:25

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

If he hadn't moved out on his birthday (which owns) he probably would have been living in that shed within the month

# ? Aug 23, 2018 21:27

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

loquacius posted:

If he hadn't moved out on his birthday (which owns) he probably would have been living in that shed within the month

Honestly she should just get a bit of insulation and let him live in that shed anyways.

# ? Aug 23, 2018 21:34

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Bored posted:

And also a few where HR had to intervene and the parent went to the internet to complain.

# ? Aug 23, 2018 21:35

Maggie Fletcher: Jul 19, 2009; Getting brunch is more important to me than other peoples lives.

Bored posted:

I could have sworn there was some comedy sketch with someone whipping out pictures of their pets anytime a new parent tried to show them pictures of their kids at work.

I've wanted to do this for a long time, never had the guts. I did once take a picture of the litterbox and post it in the comments section of a friend who kept posting photos of her kids "diaper blowouts" on facebook. We're not friends anymore.

# ? Aug 23, 2018 21:37

new boot goofin: Jul 23, 2007; like school in july

Maggie Fletcher posted:

I've wanted to do this for a long time, never had the guts. I did once take a picture of the litterbox and post it in the comments section of a friend who kept posting photos of her kids "diaper blowouts" on facebook. We're not friends anymore.

Wtf breaks in peoples brains when they have kids that allows them to think posting pictures of poo poo on fb is acceptable?! the mind boggles

# ? Aug 23, 2018 21:47

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# ? May 30, 2024 22:30

Pelvic Floor Wax: Jul 21, 2007

Sometimes I'm too lazy to search on Reddit for a post, so I google the title. More than half the time the 1st result is the suicide hotline number. Seems... reasonable.

Anyway, content! Guess how many responses are talking about her weight instead of her complete creep of a boyfriend?

OP posted:

My (32F) boyfriend (34M) wont stop checking out our new neighbor (early 20sF) and it's making me so insecure.

Hi Reddit,

Throwaway, because I am embarrassed about my own insecurities and don't want anyone I know finding me out.

So my boyfriend and I have been together 3 years, living together for two, in a small duplex in a not very populated part of town. Recently a new couple has moved into the other side of the duplex. It's a man and woman in their early twenties. They are both very in shape and attractive. They moved here because the man got a job in the area, I feel like no one that looks that way lives in our area.

The issue is my boyfriend constantly stares out the neighbor girl when she is out. We have a huge shared front porch, which my boyfriend and I use frequently. She has also taken up a portion as her yoga space, which is fair, she has a right to half, but I cant handle the distraction it takes on my boyfriend. For context, she and I are about the same height (5'3) but id guess she weighs 120, and I weigh closer to 200. I don't have the time to put into losing weight with working full time. It's just not feasible. If we are sitting on the porch having a convo and she comes out, it is instantly dropped, or has about a third of my boyfriends attention. I have talked to him about this and he tells me not to be so insecure and that he loves me very much. I just don't know if I believe it. I just wish they would move away.

What can I do to help my confidence during their lease here?

tldr; super hot girl moved in next to boyfriend and I, I am feeling super inadequate. What can I do?

# ? Aug 23, 2018 21:47

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