When Footballers Go Feral: big Tom givin a horse a handbeezy

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > When Footballers Go Feral: big Tom givin a horse a handbeezy

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BrigadierSensible: Feb 16, 2012; I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

Bogan Krkic posted:

at least he's not loving a dog

It's not Rugby League, mate.

# ? Aug 31, 2018 14:30

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# ? May 31, 2024 22:46

Masonity: Dec 31, 2007; What, I wonder, does this hidden face of madness reveal of the makers? These K'Chain Che'Malle?

BrigadierSensible posted:

It's not Rugby League, mate.

Does your mum prefer rugby players then?

# ? Aug 31, 2018 16:06

BrigadierSensible: Feb 16, 2012; I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

Masonity posted:

Does your mum prefer rugby players then?

So long as they pay, my mum doesn't care what sport they play.

For she is a whore, you see.

# ? Sep 1, 2018 08:02

Woodenlung: Dec 10, 2013; Calculating Infinity

Bendtner arrested and charged, for beating up a cab driver. Driver is currently having surgery for a broken jaw.

https://www.b.dk/sport/medie-bendtner-sigtet-for-vold-mod-taxachauffoer (danish)

# ? Sep 9, 2018 13:46

Bape Culture: Sep 13, 2006

Sounds good

# ? Sep 9, 2018 14:17

funkybottoms: Oct 28, 2010; Funky Bottoms is a land man

now they're both a little Bendt out of shape

# ? Sep 9, 2018 14:24

Gigi Galli: Sep 19, 2003; and then the car turned in to fire

Bape Culture posted:

Sounds good

Lol

# ? Sep 9, 2018 14:33

Lima: Jun 17, 2012

He truly is a lort

# ? Sep 9, 2018 16:53

Shrapnig: Jan 21, 2005

Bape Culture posted:

Sounds good

Lmao.

# ? Sep 9, 2018 17:28

rope: May 4, 2006; 8======D~~~O:

Woodenlung posted:

Bendtner arrested and charged, for beating up a cab driver. Driver is currently having surgery for a broken jaw.

https://www.b.dk/sport/medie-bendtner-sigtet-for-vold-mod-taxachauffoer (danish)

The Lord just has a vendetta against taxi drivers.

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2014/mar/13/nicklas-bendtner-accused-dropped-pants-taxi-driver-arsenal

# ? Sep 9, 2018 19:59

blue footed boobie: Sep 14, 2012; UEFA SUPREMACY

Bendtner is such a shithead.

# ? Sep 9, 2018 20:18

Breath Ray: Nov 19, 2010

rope posted:

The Lord just has a vendetta against taxi drivers.

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2014/mar/13/nicklas-bendtner-accused-dropped-pants-taxi-driver-arsenal

Bendtner, who has not featured for the Londoners since 2 February but did start for his country against England last week, was reported to have unbuttoned his trousers and rubbed up against the side of the taxi by the Danish newspaper, BT. The 26-year-old is then alleged to have whipped the cab with his belt, calling the driver a "little whore". The cabbie was so concerned that he called the police.

# ? Sep 9, 2018 21:19

Kurtofan: Feb 16, 2011; hon hon hon

why does he hate cabbies

i've only taken a cab once but the guy was polite

# ? Sep 9, 2018 21:23

Woodenlung: Dec 10, 2013; Calculating Infinity

Kurtofan posted:

why does he hate cabbies

i've only taken a cab once but the guy was polite

The first incident sounds more like an act of passion, rather than hate.

# ? Sep 9, 2018 22:31

Weaponized Cum: Aug 31, 2004; This post brought to you by the finest Miami cocaine money can buy ----->

One of Peru's biggest teams, Alianza Lima sold part of their stadium to an Evangelical Pastor in a shady deal. The pastor also supported Keiko Fujimori (daughter of our most beloved dictator) during the last election.

As in many underdeveloped countries with terrible education, these religious fuckers have a massive following and are uber rich. The pastor sent his 'flock' to the stadium to paint over some Alianza Lima murals and add some Jesus flavor, and this is what happened:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNa7KF1rbc0

Hail Satan

# ? Sep 11, 2018 20:54

Kurtofan: Feb 16, 2011; hon hon hon

Weaponized Cum posted:

One of Peru's biggest teams, Alianza Lima sold part of their stadium to an Evangelical Pastor in a shady deal. The pastor also supported Keiko Fujimori (daughter of our most beloved dictator) during the last election.

As in many underdeveloped countries with terrible education, these religious fuckers have a massive following and are uber rich. The pastor sent his 'flock' to the stadium to paint over some Alianza Lima murals and add some Jesus flavor, and this is what happened:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNa7KF1rbc0

Hail Satan

loving america exporting its lovely brand of christianity all over the world, we even get preachers on the metro now

# ? Sep 12, 2018 03:13

track day bro!: Feb 17, 2005; #essereFerrari; Grimey Drawer

Bape Culture posted:

Sounds good

# ? Sep 12, 2018 14:32

Troy Queef: Jan 12, 2013

https://twitter.com/sportingintel/status/1010638074584469505

# ? Sep 12, 2018 23:14

Brony Car: May 22, 2014; by Cyrano4747

Does that make Spain the World Cup winner then?

# ? Sep 12, 2018 23:19

nutri_void: Apr 18, 2015; I shall devour your soul.; Grimey Drawer

Troy Queef posted:

https://twitter.com/sportingintel/status/1010638074584469505

A reminder that it this time the goal was perfectly legitimate:

# ? Sep 12, 2018 23:25

Breath Ray: Nov 19, 2010

garlic breads

# ? Sep 12, 2018 23:59

Gigi Galli: Sep 19, 2003; and then the car turned in to fire

Alexeythegreat posted:

A reminder that it this time the goal was perfectly legitimate:

I'm willing to ignore all Russian doping and/or cheating allegations because the Spanish did the exact same thing.

# ? Sep 13, 2018 00:03

Kurtofan: Feb 16, 2011; hon hon hon

Brony Car posted:

Does that make Spain the World Cup winner then?

Maybe thats why they gave spain the fair play trophy

# ? Sep 13, 2018 00:10

Woodenlung: Dec 10, 2013; Calculating Infinity

quote:

A Premier League footballer has been charged with raping a schoolgirl in France after allegedly lying to police about having sex with the 15-year-old because "he did not want to upset his girlfriend".

The 23-year-old, who cannot be named for legal reasons, is currently on bail awaiting trial along with his cousin, who is now 25, over the alleged attack in the southern city of Nimes, a court heard.

Both men, who could face jail terms of up to 15 years, deny charges of raping the unidentified victim, who was found "in tears and deep shock" by school friends after the attack in July 2012, according to legal sources.

There are no immediate restrictions on his playing career, although he is constant touch with detectives and lawyers in France.

She was 15 at the time � the minimum of age of consent in France � and claims she was forced into sex by her assailants, who were then 17 and 19.

Neither is French, but they were on holiday together at a campsite in Aigues-Mortes, which is 30 miles south of Nimes, and close to the Mediterranean coast.

At first the footballer denied having sex with the girl. When evidence was produced by police investigators, he changed his story saying: "I didn�t want to upset my girlfriend."

Now the defendants say they had consensual sex with their accuser, and always thought she was older than 15 too.

She has admitted being drunk on July 18 2012 � the day of the attack � saying the accused plied her with alcoholic drinks to make her more interested in sex.

Friends found her crying just before 6am the next morning, when she described the footballer as "pretentious and a bastard". He is thought to have already signed professional terms at the time. According to the girl and her friends, the defendants knew her age because she had explained to him she could not go to the campsite disco �because she was only 15 years old�.

After changing his story, the footballer told judges that the girl "had consented to sex" in a tent, but was threatened with legal action in a Nimes youth court.

The complainant, who is now 21, has not changed her story once, say prosecuting sources.

When the defendants reached the age of 18, the complaints were transferred to the jurisdiction of the Nimes Assizes.

Both men first appeared before judges in July, and have been bailed to return on a date to be fixed. Remy Nougier, the barrister defending the footballer and his cousin, said he had "appealed the elevation" of the case to the higher court, and that his clients "vigorously contest the accusations".

In March, French officials announced plans to fix the legal age of sexual consent at 15, meaning sex with someone younger than that would be considered rape.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/football/2018/09/12/premier-league-footballer-charged-raping-schoolgirl-france/

wonder who it could be

https://twitter.com/LukeShaw23/status/226946989588357120

👀

# ? Sep 13, 2018 00:26

Literally Lewis Hamilton: Feb 22, 2005

It takes 6 years to prosecute?

# ? Sep 13, 2018 00:28

Breath Ray: Nov 19, 2010

lets not lose sight of the worst accusation here: being called pretentious by a french person

# ? Sep 13, 2018 00:54

Mean Bean Machine: May 9, 2008; Only when I breathe.

Troy Queef posted:

https://twitter.com/sportingintel/status/1010638074584469505

cool anecdotal eastern europian casual racism you fuckwit

# ? Sep 13, 2018 02:19

Shrapnig: Jan 21, 2005

Mean Bean Machine posted:

cool anecdotal eastern europian casual racism you fuckwit

He does support Roma tbf.

# ? Sep 13, 2018 02:47

sticksy: May 26, 2004; Nap Ghost

Breath Ray posted:

lets not lose sight of the worst accusation here: being called pretentious by a french person

lmao

# ? Sep 13, 2018 03:18

Shrapnig: Jan 21, 2005

big crush on Chad OMG posted:

It takes 6 years to prosecute?

It's France, a country run by a dude who married one of his schoolteachers that he met when he was 15 but it's ok because "they only became a couple when he turned 18"

# ? Sep 13, 2018 03:42

African AIDS cum: Feb 29, 2012; Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack

sticksy posted:

lmao

# ? Sep 13, 2018 07:50

fridge corn: Apr 2, 2003; NO MERCY, ONLY PAIN

Bape Culture posted:

Sounds good

Haha

# ? Sep 13, 2018 08:16

monkeytennis: Apr 26, 2007; Toilet Rascal

Woodenlung posted:

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/football/2018/09/12/premier-league-footballer-charged-raping-schoolgirl-france/

wonder who it could be

https://twitter.com/LukeShaw23/status/226946989588357120

👀

Hey I�ve been to Aigues Mort it�s a lovely walled city, great place to visit. I didn�t rape anybody though I just ate some pizza.

# ? Sep 13, 2018 12:50

BrigadierSensible: Feb 16, 2012; I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

monkeytennis posted:

Hey I�ve been to Aigues Mort it�s a lovely walled city, great place to visit. I didn�t rape anybody though I just ate some pizza.

But how pretentious were you?

# ? Sep 13, 2018 13:48

monkeytennis: Apr 26, 2007; Toilet Rascal

Well I attempted to speak the lingo (I find the French are more helpful if you make an effort, no matter how small) so pretty humble actually, certainly nowhere near prem level :v:

# ? Sep 13, 2018 18:56

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

French people are for the most part just DYING to show you that their English is better than your French, so yeah saying a couple of badly pronounced phrases will get on their good side pretty quick

# ? Sep 13, 2018 20:11

ephex: Nov 4, 2007; PHWOAR CRIMINAL

https://twitter.com/SkySport/status/1044529153737936901?s=19

Rossi tested positive for doping

# ? Sep 25, 2018 11:55

Gigi Galli: Sep 19, 2003; and then the car turned in to fire

I was wondering how he was able to walk at all.

# ? Sep 25, 2018 12:15

Literally Lewis Hamilton: Feb 22, 2005

Whatever American gypsy curse is on him for choosing Italy is highly effective.

# ? Sep 25, 2018 13:21

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# ? May 31, 2024 22:46

Blue Star Error: Jun 11, 2001; For this recipie you will need:
Football match (Halftime of), Celebrity Owner (Motivational speaking of), Sherry (Bottle of)

Nationality doping

# ? Sep 25, 2018 14:50

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > When Footballers Go Feral: big Tom givin a horse a handbeezy

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