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May 25, 2024 14:47
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- Jolo
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ive been playing with magnuts tying to change the wold as we know it
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We made it. The weed number.
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Sep 1, 2018 23:48
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- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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High five everyone!
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Sep 1, 2018 23:49
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- wearing a lampshade
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Eating an eggo by cutting it into slices like a pie instead of following the grid system laid out for you by eating one row at a time, rotating clockwise.
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Sep 2, 2018 14:22
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- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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cutting your kitkat across the grain makes it more tender.
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Sep 2, 2018 15:29
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- ghost emoji
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oooOooOOOooh
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ordering my milky way medium rare
CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE:
The contents of this post and any attachments are intended solely for the addressee(s) and may contain confidential and/or privileged information and may be legally protected from disclosure. The information is intended to be for the use of the individual or entity designated above. If you are not the intended recipient of this post, please notify the sender immediately, and delete the post and any attachments. Any disclosure, reproduction, distribution or other use of this post or any attachments by an individual or entity other than the intended recipient is prohibited.
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Sep 2, 2018 17:25
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- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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Help me find more uses for these snapping turtles before they go feral.
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Sep 4, 2018 04:35
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- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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Maybe they could like peel an orange for--ahh poo poo, it bit me. Look I sort of just inherited a pond of snapping turtles and long story short I have a lot of surplus turtles.
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Sep 4, 2018 04:46
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- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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Did you know a will can legally mandate the "care and upkeep of turtles for the purpose of commerce?" Because apparently it can in Massachusetts. The thing is...it's a really good pond.
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Sep 4, 2018 04:49
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- Quidthulhu
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Stand down, men! It's only smooching!
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internship for hitmen, like the ceo got his nerdy nephew a summer position
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Sep 4, 2018 05:51
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- Farecoal
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There he go
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Help me find more uses for these snapping turtles before they go feral.
petting zoo?
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Sep 4, 2018 14:56
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- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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"Oh, no I've got it," I say and wink at my date. I reach into my suit coat and pull out a freshly-polished turtle with ID and a credit card clamped in its jaw.
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Sep 4, 2018 17:04
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- Lazyhound
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A squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag is fast and bulbous—got me?
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there’s no rule that says a turtle can’t be a mohel
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Sep 4, 2018 23:59
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- got any sevens
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by Cyrano4747
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i mutter to myself "back to the posting mines" as i descend the stairs to my parents basement
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Sep 6, 2018 03:33
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- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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there’s no rule that says a turtle can’t be a mohel
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Sep 6, 2018 18:43
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- Lazyhound
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A squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag is fast and bulbous—got me?
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maimonides sighs as he draws his quill
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Sep 7, 2018 00:05
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- ghost emoji
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oooOooOOOooh
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The Best Little Vore-House In Texas
CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE:
The contents of this post and any attachments are intended solely for the addressee(s) and may contain confidential and/or privileged information and may be legally protected from disclosure. The information is intended to be for the use of the individual or entity designated above. If you are not the intended recipient of this post, please notify the sender immediately, and delete the post and any attachments. Any disclosure, reproduction, distribution or other use of this post or any attachments by an individual or entity other than the intended recipient is prohibited.
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Sep 7, 2018 04:21
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- FactsAreUseless
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At the doctor:
Knock knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad you don't have colon cancer?
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Sep 7, 2018 07:53
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- Robot Made of Meat
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At the doctor:
Knock knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad you don't have colon cancer?
Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!
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Sep 7, 2018 14:24
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- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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All life news should be delivered by liveried messangers with those huge straight trumpets.
DooDOOdooo
Messenger yelling, "You are cordially invited to Netflix and Chill, babe."
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Sep 7, 2018 15:26
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- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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Getting a tattoo that says, "Bored and Horny" to streamline things.
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Sep 7, 2018 23:12
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- Dungeon Ecology
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Getting a tattoo that says, "Bored and Horny" to streamline things.
most of humankind’s greatest triumphs were due to boredom + horniness so i approve
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Sep 8, 2018 04:45
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- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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Talking to someone with different politics, "I understand even if I don't agree and I see how that might work."
Talking to someone who likes smooth peanut butter, "Get the gently caress out of my face with that trash-thought."
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Sep 10, 2018 22:33
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- TheShrike
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You mechs may have copper wiring to re-route your fear of pain, but I've got nerves of steel.
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Meal prepping instant cup o noodles for the week so you don't have to spend time microwaving each day.
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Sep 11, 2018 01:43
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- got any sevens
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by Cyrano4747
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i'm wistful, i'm full of wist
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Sep 11, 2018 08:59
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- little munchkin
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Getting a tattoo that says, "Bored and Horny" to streamline things.
a lot of people would get two tattoos but you correctly identified that you could express both things with just one
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Sep 11, 2018 19:50
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- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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I want to clarify that the text "Bored and Horny" is inside the outline of a chili dog. I thought that was implicit, but I felt the need to clarify.
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Sep 11, 2018 23:47
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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May 25, 2024 14:47
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- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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I assumed you were going for "board and horny" and it was in the shape of a tree. I mean we're all turned on by lumber, right? that's a healthy normal sexual impulse, right? right??
No that tattoo says "Morning Wood"
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Sep 12, 2018 01:00
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