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SpacePig posted:I got the season pass to Tomatoes, by which I mean I planted my own. Mine are still early access
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Sep 4, 2018 23:35
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God I miss Vine
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Sep 5, 2018 03:13
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hey guys sup just trying to get the word out for my new side hustle, it's an app called Tomatr. take a picture of a tomato like at the grocery store or on a sidewalk or wherever and it'll tell you what vintage it is. never get stuck eating a thursday tomato on wednesday again
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Sep 5, 2018 03:15
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Evilreaver posted:Mine are still early access I kickstarted some tomatoes once. The whole bin fell on the floor and I got asked to leave the store.
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Sep 5, 2018 03:28
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SpacePig posted:I kickstarted some tomatoes once. The whole bin fell on the floor and I got asked to leave the store. 
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Sep 5, 2018 03:29
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I'm holding out for the VOTY (Vegetable of the Year) release to get the bonus seeds demo for Tomato 2: Beefsteak.
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Sep 5, 2018 03:32
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Please back my tomato growing garden box called TOM-8. TOM-8 takes specialized seed packs to grow genetically perfect tomatoes. Using our patented Delicious Ripeness Management software, we can be sure that only TOM-8 seeds are used in the box, and that all tomatoes are eaten at the peak of freshness. Any unripe tomatoes picked from a TOM-8 unit will turn to mush, and any left on the vine for 24 hours after peak ripeness will discarded by TOM-8's easy cleanup protocols. Be sure to back this project today to get the exclusive Founders Pack that includes 2 whole packs of DRM seeds, a commemorative tote bag, and your name in the credits of the documentary of the development of the TOM-8 units.
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Sep 5, 2018 03:38
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SpacePig posted:Please back my tomato growing garden box called TOM-8. TOM-8 takes specialized seed packs to grow genetically perfect tomatoes. Using our patented Delicious Ripeness Management software, we can be sure that only TOM-8 seeds are used in the box, and that all tomatoes are eaten at the peak of freshness. Any unripe tomatoes picked from a TOM-8 unit will turn to mush, and any left on the vine for 24 hours after peak ripeness will discarded by TOM-8's easy cleanup protocols. Be sure to back this project today to get the exclusive Founders Pack that includes 2 whole packs of DRM seeds, a commemorative tote bag, and your name in the credits of the documentary of the development of the TOM-8 units. https://www.clickandgrow.com/products/the-smart-garden-3 quote:The Smart Garden 3 takes care of your plants automatically by making sure they have enough water, light and nutrients at all times. quote:OUR SMART SOIL DOES ALL THE WORK
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Sep 5, 2018 04:39
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I swear there was one that could only grow RFID-tagged subscription herbs in a ton of plastic packaging too but I can't find it
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Sep 5, 2018 04:39
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I thought that was a joke about the Juicero, wasn’t it built to only function with their super expensive tagged juice packets?
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Sep 5, 2018 05:13
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Pirate Radar posted:I thought that was a joke about the Juicero, wasn’t it built to only function with their super expensive tagged juice packets? which have DRM that will lock you out of using a bag if it's a day over the best before date.
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Sep 5, 2018 05:14
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Pirate Radar posted:I thought that was a joke about the Juicero, wasn’t it built to only function with their super expensive tagged juice packets? It was, but of course I was a full to think that there wasn't already something approaching the dumb poo poo I was saying.
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Sep 5, 2018 05:31
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Pirate Radar posted:I thought that was a joke about the Juicero, wasn’t it built to only function with their super expensive tagged juice packets? Yeah that's the most well-known DRM-locked idiot machine, but oh boy are there ever tons of other "Keurig but for [x]" ideas with shameful amounts of VC funding. gently caress there's even a new one that's literally just the Juicero but called something else, because humanity is incapable of learning from its mistakes.
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Sep 5, 2018 05:45
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The Juicero is the dumbest product I've ever seen. Like, it's a device that squeezes hyperexpensive Capri Suns for you, but the Capri Suns have mystical seals that will thwart the devices overengineered solid titanium mad scientist innards. If you had told me that it would be a thing ten years ago I would have called your idea for a joke product so stupid it couldn't possibly exist, and here we are, this is it, we are living in in a world that should have been reduced to a Cherenkov-glowing husk but wasn't and we are the worse for it Drop the bombs, drop the bombs, drop the bombs, and put an end to the suffering
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Sep 5, 2018 05:50
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Screaming Idiot posted:The Juicero is the dumbest product I've ever seen. Like, it's a device that squeezes hyperexpensive Capri Suns for you, but the Capri Suns have mystical seals that will thwart the devices overengineered solid titanium mad scientist innards. If you had told me that it would be a thing ten years ago I would have called your idea for a joke product so stupid it couldn't possibly exist, and here we are, this is it, we are living in in a world that should have been reduced to a Cherenkov-glowing husk but wasn't and we are the worse for it You guys will be happy to know that Juicero went bankrupt several months back and is out of business.
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Sep 5, 2018 06:22
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Dr.Smasher posted:You guys will be happy to know that Juicero went bankrupt several months back and is out of business. Something dumber will rise from the ashes, like a phoenix with a MAGA hat, or a Highlander with a traumatic brain injury, or a Terminator programmed with the contents of TVTropes
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Sep 5, 2018 07:13
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The guy who did Juicero did a pilgrimage into the desert and came up with an even better idea - selling rotting, unfiltered, river water to Silicon Valley nerds.
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Sep 5, 2018 08:12
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Please fund my idea of Killing The Entire US Senate With my patented smart bomb technology, I will ensure the complete collapse of the US government with just a few small targeted explosions. The bombs are made with completely gluten free materials and
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Sep 5, 2018 08:20
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It's a bottle rocket with a fancy label Approved
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Sep 5, 2018 08:33
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https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/ADE_651quote:The ADE 651 consists of a swivelling antenna mounted via a hinge to a plastic handgrip. It requires no battery or other power source; its manufacturer claimed that it is powered solely by the user's static electricity. To use the device, the operator must walk for a few moments to "charge" it before holding it at right angles to the body. After a substance-specific "programmed substance detection card" is inserted, the device is supposed to swivel in the user's hand to point its antenna in the direction of the target substance. quote:The cards were "programmed" by photocopying a Polaroid photograph of the target, cutting up the resulting copy and pasting the pieces between two squares of plastic. quote:The device has been sold to 20 countries in the Middle East and Asia, including Iraq and Afghanistan, for as much as US$60,000 each. The Iraqi government is said to have spent £52 million on the devices.
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Sep 5, 2018 08:42
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Sep 5, 2018 08:59
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quote:In one promotional video McCormick claimed that the device could detect elephants from 48 kilometres (30 mi) away.
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Sep 5, 2018 10:13
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ate all the Oreos posted:OUR SMART SOIL DOES ALL THE WORK That's the most creative use of astroturfing I've ever seen.
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Sep 5, 2018 10:30
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Oh no capitalism has coopted these sacred cookies, invented in SF and mass-produced in a factory in Oakland since WW2
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Sep 5, 2018 11:18
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quote:The cards were "programmed" by photocopying a Polaroid photograph of the target, cutting up the resulting copy and pasting the pieces between two squares of plastic. This weirds me out so much, like if you KNOW you're making a scam device why do this obviously fake yet labor intensive poo poo? Did he actually think his scam product worked through the magic of toner?
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Sep 5, 2018 11:50
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XTimmy posted:This weirds me out so much, like if you KNOW you're making a scam device why do this obviously fake yet labor intensive poo poo? Did he actually think his scam product worked through the magic of toner? Trying to make it look vaguely plausible I guess?
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Sep 5, 2018 11:55
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Fortune 500 cookies
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Sep 5, 2018 12:05
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XTimmy posted:This weirds me out so much, like if you KNOW you're making a scam device why do this obviously fake yet labor intensive poo poo? Did he actually think his scam product worked through the magic of toner? It's Ork science.
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Sep 5, 2018 12:19
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XTimmy posted:This weirds me out so much, like if you KNOW you're making a scam device why do this obviously fake yet labor intensive poo poo? Did he actually think his scam product worked through the magic of toner?
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Sep 5, 2018 12:24
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The quotes from the purchasers who're clearly trying to save face are just greatquote:The ADE 651 has been used at hundreds of Iraqi police and Iraqi military checkpoints across the country, often replacing physical inspections of vehicles.[12] Major-General Jihad al-Jabiri of the Interior Ministry's General Directorate for Combating Explosives has defended the device: "Whether it's magic or scientific, what I care about is detecting bombs. I don't care what they say. I know more about bombs than the Americans do. In fact, I know more about bombs than anyone in the world."
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Sep 5, 2018 12:44
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Same
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Sep 5, 2018 12:49
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Communist Walrus posted:The quotes from the purchasers who're clearly trying to save face are just great I know so much about bombs, *the device starts beeping* I am a bomb myself.
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Sep 5, 2018 12:49
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I worked with a police chief in Iraq who wasn't a smoker. He got a chest cold once and smoked cigarettes the entire time because he thought they had medicinal properties. I've been led to understand that corporations used to teach that in the US, and still do in Asia.
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Sep 5, 2018 13:26
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Communist Walrus posted:The quotes from the purchasers who're clearly trying to save face are just great Sounds like a Trump quote
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Sep 5, 2018 13:32
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I feel like a lot of people would accept at face value that a guy named Major General Jihad is literally a bomb.
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Sep 5, 2018 13:54
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Dr.Smasher posted:You guys will be happy to know that Juicero went bankrupt several months back and is out of business. Isn't Doug Evan's new grift raw water or is that some other silicon valley rear end in a top hat?
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Sep 5, 2018 14:05
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AnimeIsTrash posted:Isn't Doug Evan's new grift raw water or is that some other silicon valley rear end in a top hat? It's probably both.
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Sep 5, 2018 16:04
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Memento posted:adults who get tattoos generally do so because they spend a lot of time beforehand thinking about them and confirming to themselves that they're for life 
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Sep 5, 2018 17:33
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funny thing is it ended up being somewhat effective because it gave bomb inspectors the confidence to go into areas where they thought there might be bombs, at which point they found the bombs themselves.
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Sep 5, 2018 17:53
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*bank repossess your skin*
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Sep 5, 2018 17:54
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