Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

«‹›310 »

sebmojo: Legit Cyberpunk

Cubone posted:

idk how to make a thread with that joke there's too many words

just do it gogogo

# ? Sep 1, 2018 22:21

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 11, 2024 18:45

Jolo: ive been playing with magnuts tying to change the wold as we know it

We made it. The weed number.

# ? Sep 1, 2018 23:48

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

High five everyone!

# ? Sep 1, 2018 23:49

Manifisto

Jolo posted:

We made it. The weed number.

quick someone recode the forums so that this thread eternally stays on this page

# ? Sep 2, 2018 00:17

wearing a lampshade

Eating an eggo by cutting it into slices like a pie instead of following the grid system laid out for you by eating one row at a time, rotating clockwise.

# ? Sep 2, 2018 14:22

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

cutting your kitkat across the grain makes it more tender.

# ? Sep 2, 2018 15:29

Manifisto

albany academy posted:

Eating an eggo by cutting it into slices like a pie instead of following the grid system laid out for you by eating one row at a time, rotating clockwise.

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

cutting your kitkat across the grain makes it more tender.

# ? Sep 2, 2018 16:58

ghost emoji: oooOooOOOooh

ordering my milky way medium rare

CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE:
The contents of this post and any attachments are intended solely for the addressee(s) and may contain confidential and/or privileged information and may be legally protected from disclosure. The information is intended to be for the use of the individual or entity designated above. If you are not the intended recipient of this post, please notify the sender immediately, and delete the post and any attachments. Any disclosure, reproduction, distribution or other use of this post or any attachments by an individual or entity other than the intended recipient is prohibited.

# ? Sep 2, 2018 17:25

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Help me find more uses for these snapping turtles before they go feral.

# ? Sep 4, 2018 04:35

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Maybe they could like peel an orange for--ahh poo poo, it bit me. Look I sort of just inherited a pond of snapping turtles and long story short I have a lot of surplus turtles.

# ? Sep 4, 2018 04:46

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Did you know a will can legally mandate the "care and upkeep of turtles for the purpose of commerce?" Because apparently it can in Massachusetts. The thing is...it's a really good pond.

# ? Sep 4, 2018 04:49

Quidthulhu: Stand down, men! It's only smooching!

internship for hitmen, like the ceo got his nerdy nephew a summer position

# ? Sep 4, 2018 05:51

Twenty Four

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

surplus turtles.

this struck me as a pretty good username or something

also

Jolo posted:

We made it. The weed number.

# ? Sep 4, 2018 10:16

Farecoal: There he go

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

Help me find more uses for these snapping turtles before they go feral.

petting zoo?

# ? Sep 4, 2018 14:56

Manifisto

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

Help me find more uses for these snapping turtles before they go feral.

chip clips

# ? Sep 4, 2018 15:05

Manifisto

any job during which the turtle can break the fourth wall, look at the camera, and go "it's a living"

# ? Sep 4, 2018 15:07

Jolo: ive been playing with magnuts tying to change the wold as we know it

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

Help me find more uses for these snapping turtles before they go feral.

They would be perfect for my all animal version of West Side Story.

~~~ byob summer 2020 ~~~ sig responsibly ~~~ i hope you enjoy my sig ~~~ please dont kangaroo jack what you cant kangaroo give back. ~~~

# ? Sep 4, 2018 15:08

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

"Oh, no I've got it," I say and wink at my date. I reach into my suit coat and pull out a freshly-polished turtle with ID and a credit card clamped in its jaw.

# ? Sep 4, 2018 17:04

Lazyhound: A squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag is fast and bulbous—got me?

there�s no rule that says a turtle can�t be a mohel

# ? Sep 4, 2018 23:59

Manifisto

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

"Oh, no I've got it," I say and wink at my date. I reach into my suit coat and pull out a freshly-polished turtle with ID and a credit card clamped in its jaw.

Lazyhound posted:

there’s no rule that says a turtle can’t be a mohel

air bud mcmlxxxiv

# ? Sep 5, 2018 00:06

Manifisto

"you're still using shoelaces?" I scoff as I take out my new pair of air jordans, stylishly fastened to my feet by a pair of snapping turtles

# ? Sep 5, 2018 00:10

got any sevens: by Cyrano4747

i mutter to myself "back to the posting mines" as i descend the stairs to my parents basement

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Sep 6, 2018 03:33

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

This is page 69 of this thread.

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
_{_{Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps}}
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Sep 6, 2018 13:48

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

Jolo posted:

We made it. The weed number.

e:fb

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
_{_{Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps}}
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Sep 6, 2018 13:48

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Lazyhound posted:

there�s no rule that says a turtle can�t be a mohel

# ? Sep 6, 2018 18:43

Lazyhound: A squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag is fast and bulbous—got me?

maimonides sighs as he draws his quill

# ? Sep 7, 2018 00:05

ghost emoji: oooOooOOOooh

The Best Little Vore-House In Texas

# ? Sep 7, 2018 04:21

FactsAreUseless

At the doctor:

Knock knock

Who's there?

Orange

Orange who?

Orange you glad you don't have colon cancer?

# ? Sep 7, 2018 07:53

Robot Made of Meat

FactsAreUseless posted:

At the doctor:

Knock knock

Who's there?

Orange

Orange who?

Orange you glad you don't have colon cancer?

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ? Sep 7, 2018 14:24

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

All life news should be delivered by liveried messangers with those huge straight trumpets.

DooDOOdooo
Messenger yelling, "You are cordially invited to Netflix and Chill, babe."

# ? Sep 7, 2018 15:26

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Getting a tattoo that says, "Bored and Horny" to streamline things.

# ? Sep 7, 2018 23:12

Dungeon Ecology

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

Getting a tattoo that says, "Bored and Horny" to streamline things.

most of humankind�s greatest triumphs were due to boredom + horniness so i approve

# ? Sep 8, 2018 04:45

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Talking to someone with different politics, "I understand even if I don't agree and I see how that might work."
Talking to someone who likes smooth peanut butter, "Get the gently caress out of my face with that trash-thought."

# ? Sep 10, 2018 22:33

TheShrike: You mechs may have copper wiring to re-route your fear of pain, but I've got nerves of steel.

Meal prepping instant cup o noodles for the week so you don't have to spend time microwaving each day.

# ? Sep 11, 2018 01:43

got any sevens: by Cyrano4747

i'm wistful, i'm full of wist

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Sep 11, 2018 08:59

little munchkin

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

Getting a tattoo that says, "Bored and Horny" to streamline things.

a lot of people would get two tattoos but you correctly identified that you could express both things with just one

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Sep 11, 2018 19:50

Twenty Four

The classic "Mom in a heart" tattoo combined with the concept of the name of your past significant others crossed out a few times when you got a new lover, but you are a passed around foster child and it's a bunch of names of your new "mom".

# ? Sep 11, 2018 20:22

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

I want to clarify that the text "Bored and Horny" is inside the outline of a chili dog. I thought that was implicit, but I felt the need to clarify.

# ? Sep 11, 2018 23:47

Manifisto

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

I want to clarify that the text "Bored and Horny" is inside the outline of a chili dog. I thought that was implicit, but I felt the need to clarify.

I assumed you were going for "board and horny" and it was in the shape of a tree. I mean we're all turned on by lumber, right? that's a healthy normal sexual impulse, right? right??

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Sep 12, 2018 00:52

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 11, 2024 18:45

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Manifisto posted:

I assumed you were going for "board and horny" and it was in the shape of a tree. I mean we're all turned on by lumber, right? that's a healthy normal sexual impulse, right? right??

No that tattoo says "Morning Wood"

# ? Sep 12, 2018 01:00

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

«‹›310 »