SettingSun posted:

That's really on the barbarian if he's throwing around a weapon that will abandon him the second it's picked up by someone it likes better.

Rick posted:

Wave is a real jerk.

Control Volume posted:

Is there history behind this monsterenvy guy beyond just stanning for this game and being wrong all the time? Because right now you all look like a bunch of psychos.

quote:

A better analogy would be if someone walks into a championship tournament, says "GEE I THINK I MAY HAVE TRANSCENDED THE UNDERSTANDING OF SOME OF YOU GRANDMASTERS HERE, WANT TO JOIN MY NEW SCHOOL OF CHESS STRATEGY?", then loses by scholar's mate twice in the first round.

This person then refuses to leave his seat, claiming that he needs additional proof that the queen in f7 actually ontologically exists before he will admit defeat, and that the rules of the CHESS ESTABLISHMENT were unfairly biased against him by disallowing the possibility of his king being able to leapfrog pieces.

Then he pulls out an ancient shopping list from 1905 and claims that "1. Eggs" means 'The King', "2. Butter" means 'can', and "3. Milk" means 'leapfrog'. This is admissible evidence for his case because he has lived according to the dictates of this list since he was a teenager, and it has drastically improved his quality of life. When the referees tell him that this makes no loving sense, he drags them into a three hour debate over the precise meaning of the words 'makes', 'no', 'loving', and 'sense'.

When people point out that there is more than enough evidence to suggest his list is just a scrap of paper from some long-dead housewife's purse, he rather proudly points out how close-minded they are in dismissing outright the possibility that the list was in fact a secret coded message on the best way to live life, originally formulated by Atlanteans and passed down through the ages disguised as everyday documents. After all, if one starts with the presupposition that such a document exists, then it would be very fair to argue that it is indeed in the form of his shopping list.

Never mind that his previous interpretations of the list led to three convictions and time served for robbery, hate crimes, and murder. These were just unfortunate misinterpretations on his part of the list's true intentions, he says. The list itself is blameless. In fact, the Atlanteans deliberately obfuscated the true meaning of the list in this way, so that it would require multiple failed misinterpretations before one would happen across its TRUE meaning, and in doing so appreciate it all the more.

In fact, he does have some evidence to back up his claims. Why, just last week during his daily meditation on the list, he felt it telling him that something good was about to happen in his future. And yesterday, wouldn't you know it, he found a twenty dollar note on the sidewalk! Evidence of the list's prophetic powers if I ever saw one. And believe him, he has many more stories where that came from.

By now, the debate has splintered off into innumerable tangents, with the one man against literally every other player and referee present at the tournament. Finally, he graciously accepts the possibility of defeat in some of the myriad topics now being covered. OK, maybe the tallest player doesn't always get to go first. Fine, I will concede that there isn't much evidence to support my third-invisible-knight hypothesis. But that's all irrelevant. What he wants to concentrate on, and what nobody has yet been able to disprove, he adds, is the ability of the king to leapfrog over other pieces.

The argument drags on for weeks. Finally, one afternoon, the beet-faced referee exhausts his last reserves of decency and throws his arms up in frustration and despair. "YOU loving RETARD, HOW CAN YOU LAY CLAIM TO KNOWING ANYTHING ABOUT CHESS STRATEGY WHEN YOU DON'T EVEN GRASP THE MOST BASIC RULES!?" He shouts, just as a new entrant walks through the door. "I'm sorry," replies the man calmly, "I simply cannot discuss the rules of chess with such an 'official' if you insist on using such strong and uncouth language. Please retract your insults or I will be forced to plug my ears whenever you say anything from now on."

Seeing only this last exchange, the new entrant pipes up. "He's right, you know. If he did something wrong, then you as the referee have every right to tell him he is so, but it should be done with a patient and thorough explanation of the details of his error. Hurling ridicule at him solves nothing and won't change anyone's mind."

The lazy eye of the retarded List-following, King-leapfrogging man twitches almost unnoticeably, as he cranes his head towards the source of this new voice. A welcoming smile cracks, inch by beaming inch, across his face. He licks his lips. He clears his throat.

"So glad to know decent people like you still value a polite discussion. Care for a game?"

Piell posted:

mastershakeman posted:

Don't throw your magic weapons, folks

Section Z posted:

It hurts so much how true this is with thrown weapons in 5th ed.

Though this is taking 'Magical thrown weapons come back after you throw them' to a whole new level.

ritorix posted:

But would it count as a ranged weapon attack

Kaysette posted:

This thread is roughly equal parts useful critiques and discussion of the 5e rules and print campaigns, charop or DM advice, and poop. Just don’t touch the poop and you’re fine.

Had session one of Dragon Heist last night. I finally made a Drow shadow sorc PC to go faction agent with the handsome hat-wearing boy on the front cover. I’ll probably dip hexblade 2/3 after getting fireball. We’re going straight into the undermountain book after and it’s weird thinking this char might actually make it to 20.

koreban posted:

Are you playing with the sunlight sensitivity rules for drow? That’s been a stopping block for me, but I can’t figure an angle to pitch to the DM to handwave it away other than “c’mon man, basically all of Breagan D’Aerthe don’t suffer it!”

Imagined posted:

Then why not just use the normal rules and raise the DC instead of inventing a whole new mechanic?

koreban posted:

Are you playing with the sunlight sensitivity rules for drow? That’s been a stopping block for me, but I can’t figure an angle to pitch to the DM to handwave it away other than “c’mon man, basically all of Breagan D’Aerthe don’t suffer it!”

Glagha posted:

Put on sunglasses, done.

CeallaSo posted:

I agree with Perkins, the mask is a cool idea. It's interesting to imagine a group of surface-dwelling drow being dressed, in essence, like plague doctors with tinted lenses instead of the hooked beak.

Glagha posted:

Put on sunglasses, done.

Ryuujin posted:

I am actually surprised at Perkins, I thought he was better than most of the people at WotC. Perhaps 5e doesn't have such an item, but there were Smoked Glasses in previous editions that negated the Sunlight Sensitivity. Which suggests that it was not an allergic reaction at all.

ProfessorCirno posted:

The mask idea is cool, a shame it came from WotC's refusal to understand that drow are a popular race for aesthetic reasons and their need to punish players who want to play as them.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

I had them wear, like, baggier beekeeping uniforms with full facemasks in the drow intelligence agency oneshot I did.

sebmojo posted:

If you can't do a cool idea because they did it differently 10 years ago, isn't that a much bigger problem than a lack of consistency?

Azhais posted:

They should all dress like the Foot Clan in the first TMNT movie, with their little screen bubbles

Glagha posted:

I dunno, sunlight sensitivity sucks.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Remove sunlight sensitivity. Reduce drow darkvision to 60 feet. Remove other instances of darkvision. Optionally ban drow.

There I fixed it.

Control Volume posted:

If you have to house rule every problem like that, why not just throw out your entire 5e library, stop playing dnd at all that night, and have a gay orgy with your buds?

Poops Mcgoots posted:

I've never had difficulty fitting a gay orgy into the night while still house ruling everything though.

Control Volume posted:

If you have to house rule every problem like that, why not just throw out your entire 5e library, stop playing dnd at all that night, and have a gay orgy with your buds?

Control Volume posted:

If you have to house rule every problem like that, why not just throw out your entire 5e library, stop playing dnd at all that night, and have a gay orgy with your buds?