quote:

In my college athletic club, we had one of those "missing stairs". A guy who's a creep, but nobody does anything about it but sidestep the issue and try to work around it. I'll call him Jim. He wasn't a student, he was an alumni who would still come to practice and parties. I only realized how bad it was in my junior year when almost every female friend of mine from the club brought up how they were uncomfortable around Jim. I guess I'd felt like I was alone. I felt this need to do something about it. I was really angry it had gone on for this long. And to this many people. So I asked everyone if they were OK with me telling people about it. And if so, would they want their name used or want to be anonymous? And a lot of them said I could use their names.

Most everyone didn't want to bring the issue to the school, he was an alumni so the school wouldn't have much sway. And we were worried the school would put a blanket ban on alumni at practice, rather than ban him specifically. So I had to find another approach.

I wrote out this list of everyone who had come forward, and the stuff they said Jim did to them. (Using anonymous 1, anonymous 2, etc as names for anyone who didn't want to be identified). Some of the sketchiest stuff was stuff like cornering a freshman and putting his hands around her throat at a party, and groping people, and trying to push girls who wanted to stop drinking into drinking more. I had my friends look over the list to make sure they were fine with me sending it out, then I showed or sent it to every person in the club, also saying that none of us girls were comfortable being around Jim anymore, and we were also not comfortable with anyone who would continue to sweep things under the rug and enable Jim to continue to be predatory. That we were not cool with anyone who would try to bring him to a party or event, given the information we'd given them.

Basically drawing a pretty hard line that Jim was not welcome, and anyone who would try to bring Jim to places he could potentially creep on any of us, would also not be welcome. I suppose I was harsher than I needed to be; but I was absolutely furious at the time. Anyway, I was surprised how good the reaction was. People believed me. They were also shocked by the extent of what Jim had done. They didn't treat me like I was being harsh for no reason. I'd had the conversation in person with some of the club members I was closer with, and I could tell they were genuinely shocked and upset like me. And felt guilty for having swept stuff under the rug for so long.

I got a reputation in the club, I think, for being tough on anyone who tries to be a creep. Especially because at the end of last year I also talked with some people about a lovely situation I was in during an internship, where my boss tried to pressure me into sex, and after way too long of feeling scared and ashamed, I reported him to HR and he lost his job. So, when this school year has started, something kinda unexpected happened.

Lots of girls in the club, and two guys, have come to me with issues about how they were assaulted and feel helpless because the authorities aren't doing much, or how they're scared of someone but are also nervous about making a scene, or all sorts of stories of sexual harassment and assault. It's not like these are close friends of mine either, some are freshmen and sophomores I only know casually.

And I've been trying to help, encourage them to not keep quiet if they see something that's not right, tell them about resources at the school, tell them about the process of filing a police report and stuff. But what I haven't told anyone is that I'm feeling burned out. It's really frustrating to see school administration and law enforcement not handle things effectively. And it's hard seeing someone scared to come forward about stuff, then eventually do it, only to realize they weren't able to effectively make a change.

I also don't think I'd be able to do the same "take it into my own hands" thing that I did about Jim, for everything I hear about. I had influence in the club because me and a lot of other long-time members came forward together. But I don't have any influence like that, in random other social circles.

I've not told anyone I'm exhausted, because I don't want anyone to feel like rhey can't open up to me about poo poo they're going through. But I am exhausted, it's stressing me out, and affecting my studies.

TLDR - I've got a reputation of being good at dealing with crappy situations involving creeps. But I'm feeling burnt out.

Theophany posted:

That's my piece. Tear it to shreds if you will.

Straight White Shark posted:

New housemates throw out my food, berate/harass me for my diet. [FL]

quote:

As part of the lease, landlords agree to maintain the property and provide a safe, healthy environment

DACK FAYDEN posted:

what is a "missing stairs" - I mean it's clear from the post but like, am I supposed to know that phrase instinctively?

DACK FAYDEN posted:

what is a "missing stairs" - I mean it's clear from the post but like, am I supposed to know that phrase instinctively?

zakharov posted:

Please don't turn this into a UK politics thread

tactlessbastard posted:

Well you tried

lol but seriously I posted:

zarhkov politely asks the party guests to at least not walk the big shits they've taken all over the floor into the carpet and is completely ignored, a sane and reasonable man in a time and place that was not for him

quote:

I’m rather angry right now, and not thinking straight, I think, so I could use a little help in processing what I am supposed to do now.

I am currently attending college. And I met a boy here, as one does. I have been dating this wonderful boy for nine months and I am absolutely crazy about him!

My boyfriend and I wound up both having today off from classes and work, and I already planned on visiting home for the long weekend. Since we have been together the better part of a year, I went ahead and asked my mom and dad if I could go ahead and bring the boyfriend along. Mom and dad said they would be happy to have him.

Now, I have been a little nervous about bringing home my boyfriend around my family. There are some strange cultural things at play. My parents still cling to the idea of “Southern Gentry.” They like to think of us as some old Southern family and they hold on to alot of outdated values based on that (perhaps if there are any Southerners reading this, you’ll know the type of person I am talking about?).

At any rate, they always imagined me marrying some young Southern gentleman, blah blah. To my detriment, I more or less went along with it until I met my now-boyfriend. He’s not Southern, which I knew would be strike one against him in my parent’s eyes. He’s not much of a traditionalist, so that is strike two.

But he is also insanely smart (working on a Master’s and a goal of PhD). He dresses well and is approximately the most nice and polite person you’ll ever meet, so I was hopeful that my parents could see past their prejudices and take him as he is.

We got here this morning, and it felt......strained. My mom took to my boyfriend well enough, but I could tell dad didn’t care for him. Such is life, I figured, we’ll get through the weekend and that would be that.

After lunch, my dad asked me to help mom with some stuff and he said he wanted to chat with the boyfriend. I assumed it was the usual “dad talk”. I figured one was coming and had warned my boyfriend on the drive over that it would probably be easiest just to grin and bear it when it came.

They disappeared for a while. When they came back, they were both angry. Neither one would talk and they were clearly avoiding one another. I pulled the boyfriend away for a private moment just to ask what had happened.

My boyfriend said my dad offered him a significant sum of money to break up with me. I had to ask him to repeat what he said because it sounded so ridiculous. After I confirmed my hearing still worked I stormed into the living room and asked dad face-to-face if he had offered my boyfriend money to leave me.

Dad told me simply “Yes I did.”

I was so incredibly hurt and shocked by those three words that I yelled for the boyfriend to go grab our stuff and we headed out to the car.

After just having drive me around my hometown for a bit we eventually settled on staying the night in a cheap motel (we previously planned on staying at my parents)

Boyfriend obviously didn’t take the money, and has been wonderfully sympathetic. But I think he found my family a little overwhelming because when I ask him what he thinks he should do he says this is something way out of his wheelhouse.

So now I am sitting here on a lumpy bed and trying to block out the AC, and I do not know what to say or what to do.

My mom tried calling to calm me down. She agreed that what dad did was stupid, but she says his heart was in the right place. I told her I’d speak to him if he apologizes, but her response was “Well, you know your father...” meaning “Don’t hold your breath...”

What do I do? This is unacceptable, right?!? I figured there would be a little friction between the Dad and boyfriend, but this so far beyond utterly ridiculous that I don’t think I can wrap my mind around it.

What do I even say to Dad next time I see him? What is an acceptable apology for something like that?

TL;DR: Dad tried to pay off my boyfriend to dump me. What the hell?

quote:

My daughter was playing with a wild raccoon last night and got bit. I killed a raccoon in the area foaming at the mouth. Not sure if its the same one but refuse to take the chance.

My wife vehemently refused the rabies series because its a vaccine. I am in panic mode and I am taking her to a hospital over 50 miles away near Dallas.

Can I kidnap my own daughter? There is not a custody agreement in place because we are married and not separated. Probably will be soon though.

I need to know what to watch out for here and what to say to police if I get stopped. Rabies is fatal so I am not playing with this one.

I am leaving here in 10 minutes so just need to know a few things.

Is it kidnapping in this case?

Will I be arrested?

What do I do if she calls in an amber alert?

I am desperate.

Dunning Krugerrand posted:

From legaladvice, an antivaxer that would literally prefer her child to die than get autism.

My daughter was bit by a raccoon with rabies. My wife does not want to give our daughter the rabies series because its a vaccine. I am taking her tonight to a hospital against my wifes wishes in secret.

quote:

Anyone posting opinions on OP's marriage, the wife's actions, vaccinations, anti-vaxxers, or anything similar will receive an immediate ban. Legal answers only.

ArbitraryC posted:

a mod:

lmao

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Whenever you bitch about the SA mods, remember: they will never be as bad as reddit mods.

Zil posted:

Well Aatrek got close...

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Whenever you bitch about the SA mods, remember: they will never be as bad as reddit mods.

Baronjutter posted:

legaladivice also bans and deletes anyone giving actual factual legal advice the police don't like people to know so it has supremely bad moderation.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Baronjutter posted:

I think in this very thread a few pages ago someone linked to a site that archives reddit threads highlighting posted deleted by moderators. It was a post asking about the legality of police searches and probable cause and tons of people were explaining how police dogs signalling they smelled drugs is very bad science because the dogs pick up on their master's intent and will signal basically on command so the police can just use the dog's to search anyone anytime. Any post mentioning this problem with police dogs or other ways police will bullshit into a search were mysteriously deleted by the moderators who I've heard before are often current ex, or wannabe cops.

Baronjutter posted:

I think in this very thread a few pages ago someone linked to a site that archives reddit threads highlighting posted deleted by moderators. It was a post asking about the legality of police searches and probable cause and tons of people were explaining how police dogs signalling they smelled drugs is very bad science because the dogs pick up on their master's intent and will signal basically on command so the police can just use the dog's to search anyone anytime. Any post mentioning this problem with police dogs or other ways police will bullshit into a search were mysteriously deleted by the moderators who I've heard before are often current ex, or wannabe cops.

Pick posted:

I'm busy 2018 but you should come to America sometime 2019 and I'll show you some neat geological formations.

this broken hill posted:

we could start an amazing cult

Incoherence posted:

EX GF of around 3 months called my best friend saying she did not like me and never wants to see me again. We are both 20

"I don't know what it means when my ex tells me not to contact her."

Dunning Krugerrand posted:

From legaladvice, an antivaxer that would literally prefer her child to die than get autism.

My daughter was bit by a raccoon with rabies. My wife does not want to give our daughter the rabies series because its a vaccine. I am taking her tonight to a hospital against my wifes wishes in secret.

QuarkJets posted:

jesus gently caress, i hope that the wife catches rabies

feedmegin posted:

Don't you need to take vaccines before being exposed to whatever they protect against? If she's been bitten by a rabid animal it's way too late, she gonna die.

feedmegin posted:

Don't you need to take vaccines before being exposed to whatever they protect against? If she's been bitten by a rabid animal it's way too late, she gonna die.

Pick posted:

I'm busy 2018 but you should come to America sometime 2019 and I'll show you some neat geological formations.

Pick posted:

No, in fact with rabies you often have a substantial window. If you're symptomatic you will almost certainly die however.

smokey and the bandit posted:

I have been smoking weed on and off for probably a year now. I usually smoke it socially with friends when I normally would drink alcohol. My GF is not pro-marijuana but she doesn’t make herself super upfront with her stance so I don’t know how badly she is against it.

We normally tell each other everything, and I know that there is little to nothing that she hasn’t told me, but I feel really guilty that I haven’t told her anything about it. I haven’t explicitly lied about it which makes me feel a lot better about the situation.

The issue I’m most nervous about is that I have kept it a secret for so long, I don’t know how she will react when I tell her. At the start it was fear that she would be upset about me doing it and now it’s fear that she won’t be able to trust me anymore. I keep putting it off which is just digging my grave even deeper, but I have no idea how to tell her, if I should or what to do.

Maybe I’m just overreacting but she really means everything to me so I don’t want to gently caress anything up at all.

TL;DR: I have been smoking weed occasionally and I haven’t told my GF. I have no idea how or if I should.

quote:

So as in the title. Me and my boyfriend live together for the last couple of months. While still living apart in our old locations we decided to stop smoking together for health benefits.

I have kept my goal now for over 4 months now but he decided to go back smoking recently and says he loves it and he has realized cannot give them up as he just loves them too much. There is absolutely no way of talking him out of it. He said he tried to stop smoking many years but he always goes back so there is no point. I explained that seeing him smoke and the smell of him after makes me want to smoke and frustrates me a lot as I don't want to smoke again because I want to have children ( side effect of smoking is fertility issues) and love him and don't want to get cancer as after years of depression I started to care about my health and future to spend with him as much time as I can.

The only change he did is to keep smoking outside of the house and change to rollies because apparently normal smokes have some very addictive substance in paper which makes it more addictive. We used to vape together but both started to get chest pains after some time. I have been smoking for almost 10 years (now free and he for around 15 years.

The worst part is he bought a house due to very bad housing crisis our country is going through, he said if not for me and possibility of family in the future he said he would buy apartment.

Would I be unreasonable giving ultimatum: smokes or me?

I it something worth even getting in possible trouble about?

tl;dr Me and my SO decided to stop smoking together while living apart. Now we live together and he is back to smoking. I can't stand it and I don't know what to do.