[Book] Name of Goods: The Book of C-SPAM

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [Book] Name of Goods: The Book of C-SPAM

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Scrub-Niggurath: Nov 27, 2007

the sign is much funnier in the original without the underwater text imho

# ? Sep 14, 2018 02:59

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# ? May 20, 2024 10:00

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

twoday posted:

I have begun The Gospel of the Orb

Please fill the thing with Heavy Metal refrences

# ? Sep 14, 2018 03:45

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

Last time I saw that I was 16 and stoned as hell, I don't remember any of the references

# ? Sep 14, 2018 03:47

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

twoday posted:

Last time I saw that I was 16 and stoned as hell, I don't remember any of the references

Just imagine somebody made a movie using the id of a horny 14 year old from the 1980s and you got a lock on it

I just remember in the ORB thread lots of jokes about the orb of absolute evil and it being defeated by women and their magic ducks

# ? Sep 14, 2018 03:50

Pancakes: May 21, 2001; Crypto-Rump Roast

Formally requesting a section on the Gospel of the Piss Tape, including the apostates who refuse to wear the goddamn hat.

# ? Sep 14, 2018 03:54

Grognan: Jan 23, 2007; by Fluffdaddy

if the getting of the hen is not scribed I will shun thee

# ? Sep 14, 2018 04:00

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

To actually help a bit: Voynich Manuscript

An Italian architect also wrote a book in a very similar style

~~There is a serious scholarly book on magic in the 1600s that is fairly famous but I'll be goddamned if I can remember what it is called right now~~

e:

HEY GUNS posted:

it's part of a complex symbolic alphabet of alluding to poo poo, which as a relatively well educated guy (he went to three colleges and was only kicked out of one for killing a guy(not sure he ever graduated tho)) wallenstein would have been familiar with. like i don't remember who it was who did it but some anti-Imperialist produced a play about Jason, Jason stole the Golden Fleece, the Golden Fleece is a Hapsburg order of knighthood, this is a covert reference to victory over the Hapsburgs and therefore a relatively sick burn for the well educated

where magic comes in is that you can also influence your life by producing this stuff, like when the french king depicts himself as the sun at an official dance that's going to literally and for real strengthen his kingdom

see eros and magic in the renaissance and the work of frances yates for more

i mean, wallenstein might be both mental and way too loving wealthy, but everyone who was anyone would have known what this meant

Nebakenezzer has issued a correction as of 04:05 on Sep 14, 2018

# ? Sep 14, 2018 04:02

Tainen: Jan 23, 2004

the final page should just say

�Nice Meltdown�

# ? Sep 14, 2018 04:07

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

Tainen posted:

the final page should just say

“Nice Meltdown”

# ? Sep 14, 2018 04:21

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

I have been trying to decrypt the voynich manuscript for years, my latest realization was that if you remove the top bar from the hindi alphabet you get the voynich letters, so I'm pretty sure it's from that area

# ? Sep 14, 2018 04:22

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

twoday posted:

I have been trying to decrypt the voynich manuscript for years, my latest realization was that if you remove the top bar from the hindi alphabet you get the voynich letters, so I'm pretty sure it's from that area

Actually , sad news: According to this article the manuscript is written in standard latin shorthand and is mostly plagiarized sections from women's health manuals

# ? Sep 14, 2018 04:26

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

If it makes you feel any better, the decoding of the Mayan language happened when the teenage son of a archaeologist realized the blocks were actually just letters drawn with artistic flair

# ? Sep 14, 2018 04:28

mormonpartyboat: Jan 14, 2015; by Reene

Boosted_C5 posted:

I agree with what other posters have said, Boosted_C5 should definitely be immortalized in this holy tome.

A man with VERY LARGE hands. Maybe the largest hands of any man who has ever lived. And a man who proudly wore his MAGA hats in public, without shame, and without fear.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

hello goodbye

# ? Sep 14, 2018 04:38

Squizzle: Apr 24, 2008

the needle

the oppo undropped

dwarf fortress

smoothrich

# ? Sep 14, 2018 04:57

buddhanc: Feb 16, 2010

Can you include a trumpy bear somewhere? I remember that loving commercial from a while back being ridiculous

# ? Sep 14, 2018 05:03

Dick Milhous Rock!: Aug 9, 1974

crazy cloud posted:

gulag

# ? Sep 14, 2018 05:04

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

Nebakenezzer posted:

Actually , sad news: According to this article the manuscript is written in standard latin shorthand and is mostly plagiarized sections from women's health manuals

The update says this is bullshit and another study came out last week saying that it's from Mexico. Nobody knows.

Except me, I'm right. It's from India or Central Asia

This is actually one of the worst theories I've read, this looks nothing like latin shorthand and the botanical texts mentioned in this article don't match voynich plant illustrations

twoday has issued a correction as of 05:10 on Sep 14, 2018

# ? Sep 14, 2018 05:04

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

One of the only clear animal drawings in the VM is of a pangolin, start there, that limits you geographically pretty well

Gibbs, you god drat moron

# ? Sep 14, 2018 05:08

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

The variety of orthographic variations in the VM illustrate that the writing system being employed has a level of inflection that only matches the writing systems of the indian subcontinent and the idea that this could be explained with latin shorthand only shows that you are incapable of comprending non-latin orthographic systems, gibbs, you turd

# ? Sep 14, 2018 05:14

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

The VM contains a list of months corresponding to astrological charts, that are written in a clear european hand and show month names that seem to be from medieval iberian dialects. Why would the only part of it that is actually based in a latin language, TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING AS UNIVERSAL AS THE MONTHS OF THE YEAR use a bastardized vernacular dialect of a romance language rather than latin itself, when the rest of the book is supposedly written in latin, gibbs, you loving halfwit

# ? Sep 14, 2018 05:21

Squizzle: Apr 24, 2008

twoday posted:

The update says this is bullshit and another study came out last week saying that it's from Mexico. Nobody knows.

Except me, I'm right. It's from India or Central Asia

This is actually one of the worst theories I've read, this looks nothing like latin shorthand and the botanical texts mentioned in this article don't match voynich plant illustrations

im not like intimately familiar w the voynich script but at a glance it doesnt look terribly similar to nagari script to me, except for some incidental resemblances here and there—plus, per wikipedia, it looks like its been p reliably placed in early 15th c europe for its origin

buuuuuuut if you wanna keep checking out that line of inquiry, that timing works out early enough in the romani migrations in europe that, ok, maybe some cat in those migration waves was using some kinda adapted nagari; its not like theres a strong record of written romani language from then to render that extremely implausible. and diasporic romani have evolved their language w poo poo tons of loan words let alone the other poo poo that changes a language/dialect over the centuries—its not like you would be making easy comparisons against modern language. you would prob be well served by looking at sanskrit, modern romani languages, and w/e sparse written record exists of romani speech from as far back as you can find it

# ? Sep 14, 2018 05:36

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

There is already someone working on the romani theory and it seemed promising.

How else would a person from that part of the world arrive in Europe?

I assume the Portuguese brought some scholar from India when they started colonizing it in the late 15th century (common colonial practice) which matches with the timing, and that person wrote it in Europe

The paper was localized as coming from venice, a merchant republic at that time, which also makes sense with this theory

I don't know enough about indian languages to pursue this theory to completion in my spare time but I would if I had money and time

# ? Sep 14, 2018 05:40

Bert Roberge: Nov 28, 2003

# ? Sep 14, 2018 05:44

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

Identifying the plants in the botanical section is the key to geographical origin

# ? Sep 14, 2018 05:45

Squizzle: Apr 24, 2008

twoday posted:

There is already someone working on the romani theory and it seemed promising.

How else would a person from that part of the world arrive in Europe?

I assume the Portuguese brought some scholar from India when they started colonizing it in the late 15th century (common colonial practice) which matches with the timing, and that person wrote it in Europe

The paper was localized as coming from venice, a merchant republic at that time, which also makes sense with this theory

I don't know enough about indian languages to pursue this theory to completion in my spare time but I would if I had money and time

portuguese sea route wasnt opened until later, leading way too quickly to them getting fuckin aghast at the thomasine syriac christians in india

but none of that matters because the fuckin silk road existed and the spice trade was robust

# ? Sep 14, 2018 05:46

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

Bert Roberge posted:

If you ignore the "access to weapons" bit, this describes just about everyone who does academic research

# ? Sep 14, 2018 05:48

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

Squizzle posted:

portuguese sea route wasnt opened until later, leading way too quickly to them getting fuckin aghast at the thomasine syriac christians in india

but none of that matters because the fuckin silk road existed and the spice trade was robust

Indeed, check out this thing I found the other day while googling "indian voynich" that is based upon centers of silk road commerce:

https://dharmawheel.net/viewtopic.php?t=21619

# ? Sep 14, 2018 05:53

Gringostar: Nov 12, 2016; Morbid Hound

Pancakes posted:

Formally requesting a section on the Gospel of the Piss Tape, including the apostates who refuse to wear the goddamn hat.

in time all shall wear the hat

# ? Sep 14, 2018 06:19

ass cobra: May 28, 2004; by Azathoth

Boosted_C5 posted:

I agree with what other posters have said, Boosted_C5 should definitely be immortalized in this holy tome.

A man with VERY LARGE hands. Maybe the largest hands of any man who has ever lived. And a man who proudly wore his MAGA hats in public, without shame, and without fear.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

lol

# ? Sep 14, 2018 06:28

bean mom: Jan 30, 2009

Bert Roberge posted:

one of my best friends made the original of this and its in such better condition!!!

# ? Sep 14, 2018 06:35

Finicums Wake: Mar 13, 2017; Can't post for 8 years!

Boosted_C5 posted:

I agree with what other posters have said, Boosted_C5 should definitely be immortalized in this holy tome.

A man with VERY LARGE hands. Maybe the largest hands of any man who has ever lived. And a man who proudly wore his MAGA hats in public, without shame, and without fear.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

please, wear it

# ? Sep 14, 2018 09:28

Gulping Again: Mar 10, 2007

boosted is never going to wear the hat

his page should just be his grave, regdate-2069, with the hat engraved on it, unworn and unwanted

# ? Sep 14, 2018 10:52

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

twoday posted:

One of the only clear animal drawings in the VM is of a pangolin, start there, that limits you geographically pretty well

Gibbs, you god drat moron

I've thought a bit about how the manuscript might be translated/where it comes from, but clearly you've thought about it more than I

Where are these refutations of the Gibbs take?

(also could the pangolin be a really badly drawn dog or something)

My piss takes: 1) There are two scholars in some medieval academic center. One, call him scholar A, gets all sorts of praise as he's a master of interpretation and making sense of old texts. Scholar B is super jealous of A. So, he prepares a fake old manuscript - written in gibberish. God knows how this little drama played out, but the manuscript somehow survived.

2) The drawings and the text actually don't go together - somebody used some rejected pages to make notes for a medical book, and that poo poo's been puzzling us since it was rediscovered

# ? Sep 15, 2018 03:32