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      Summary if you don’t want to read the rest of this post: I’m writing a c-spam book and I need your help gathering material. Post cool c-spam posts/texts/images here. I can trace images fairly well, as you can see with the picture of Tom Carpet below. Also please use the search or dig through old c-spam threads for good poo poo you remember and post it here. ~~~~~~ Introduction: When I was in college I bought a book about the 50's-60's beatnik/hippy scene in Manhattan's Lower East Side. It was an encyclopedic volume filled with poetry, artwork, scans of typewritten paper, photos of people and events involved in the counterculture, and all kinds of other stuff. I really enjoyed it. Some entries were made by famous people like Allen Ginsburg or Timothy Leary, but a lot of it consisted of the traces of forgotten individuals who were just screaming into the void. I felt like it gave me a lot of insight into the counter-cultural scene of that time period, and I loved poring over it between classes, soaking in all of those good vibes. At some point I lent it to some stoner friends of mine who were roommates, and promptly forgot about it. About 6 months later I was at their apartment and stumbled across it in their bathroom, on the floor next to the toilet, dog-eared and stained with piss. I didn't ask for it back, but I asked if they had enjoyed it as much as I had, and they sung its praises, reciting the poetry, talking about how it must have been like back then, etc. The Cultural Value of C-SPAM: C-SPAM is a unique little slice of culture. To post here, or just to read what is posted here, today, is a unique experience. We have developed our own dialect, slang, and references; we speak our own language. We see the same things and influence each other with our opinions, which are quite a deviation from the norm. If someone were to try to read through this forum a hundred years from now, there is no way in hell they would grasp half of it. Even for people reading it as-is right now, a lot of it is probably gibberish. Normies simply can't keep up. There's not much you can do about that, that's just how culture works, especially sub-cultures. I don't want to attempt to explain what is happening here, but I do think it's something worthy of preservation. I hope that 50 or 100 years from now stoned college students would be able to try to decipher the bullshit we mass-produce while taking a poo poo in their dorms. I know that civilization won't exist in 30 years time, just suspend your disbelief for a second and work with me here. Why write a C-SPAM book? I read these forums for the same reason that many of you do, because it helps me come to grips with the absolutely incomprehensible madness of the world in which we currently live. This is a hellish plane of existence we inhabit, and we need some way to cope. I recently took up calligraphy as hobby because it chills me the gently caress out just a little bit, and that calm helps keep me centered. In want of texts, I began transcribing C-SPAM posts. It's been fun, and people seem to like it. I want to keep doing it. Several posters already requested that I finish writing a book full of it and publish a vanity run of it, and I just might. I am writing this for fun, but why not produce a physical copy of this world we inhabit that you can fondle and rant about to your friends and grandchildren? It's a nice idea. Furthermore, I recently remembered that the U.S. Library of Congress (which is the largest library in the world) will accept any book that you send to them, and attempt to preserve it forever. To have a government institution preserve and disseminate a book of C-SPAM posts for the rest of its existence is a joke that's just too good to pass up.  TL;DRAt this moment we are confronted with the opportunity of allowing your drunken shitposts to echo forever into eternity, to be analyzed by countercultural scholars a century from now, even after the Space Force launches attacks against Chinese space stations and trigger a cascade of space debris that destroys most satellites and effectively destroys the internet. Help me compile the Book of C-SPAM, so that it may still be read in 1000 years, several dark ages from now. We're writing a book now, binch   What the book will be: A sacred and hollowed text akin to a religious tome, filled with C-SPAM posts, artwork, and relevant material, transcribed by hand. I have created this thread because this is fundamentally a communal project, of and by the posters of C-SPAM. I will compile and transcribe it, but I want you to help me by pointing out things that are worthy of being included in the book and posting them in this thread. I don't read all of the threads, it's impossible. I can't stand the SuccZone, for instance, though I respect it as being worthy of inclusion in a C-SPAM book. But I'm not gonna read that poo poo, you read it and post the good parts here and I will pick through the scraps and then diligently transcribe the best ones. So far I have finished 2 sub-books: - The Book of Baloogan: A selection of the maddest and baddest posts from the maddest and baddest poster, which serve to capture the incoherent screaming into the void that is close to the heart of C-SPAM - The Book of Nichael: A collection of absurdist propaganda posters meant to reflect the Kerri Harris campaign for Delaware senate, in which C-SPAM played a significant role. I will dedicate a few more books to individual posters, but I think it is vain and exclusionary to make the whole text that way, so I am looking for ideas for other themes that are more generic: - Important bits of text, like the transcript of the cardboard Trump guy - Parodies. Someone please parody that poem trump read about the beaver and the scorpion or whatever the gently caress - Notable conversations and exchanges between posters that I can write like a Platonian Dialogue - Anything else that's good, you tell me Publication: There are a bunch of kickstarter-esque services that facilitate the printing of books on a small scale and I'll deal with that at the prudent juncture. I am not doing this for money. I will publish photos of every page of the book in this thread, because this will be a document created from C-SPAM, and I believe all C-SPAM users have a right to read it. If you have some money to spend and want to buy a printed copy, that's great, and helps us get into the Library of Congress, but I am not going to withhold any part of this book from the forums, in case there is someone who wants to read it but can't afford a printed copy. I might also try to include some random swag poo poo with any printed copy, such as a bookmark or a poster or something. Terms and Conditions - I will use user names, but if you don't want your Something Awful user name to appear in a printed book, I will respect that, just let me know.- This is a communal goon project, and thus doomed to fail. - Absolutely no guarantees about the quality of the content or the calligraphy. - I'm pretty good at follow-through on projects I have dedicated myself to, but I make no promises that I will finish this. Is it even possible to finish it? Theoretically I could just keep transcribing posts forever, but at some point I will just cut it off and print it. - This is a project of passion and there is no time line on this. If it is ever finished and ready to print, I will post about it here. - If you do decide to send me money at any point before the time of printing, I make no promises that I won't spend it on paying my rent and/or booze rather than buying calligraphy supplies. You can call me out on this though, and I don't think it will happen. I would love to have an excuse to buy good calligraphy supplies, just trying to limit my liability here. twoday posted:I don't have any money but if I ever finish the c-spam book and sell it I will donate 10% of the profit to RAINN 
twoday has issued a correction as of 03:55 on Jan 14, 2021 |
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Sep 8, 2018 00:35
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The Book of C-SPAM: Title and Dedication   1. The Book of Baloogan     2. The Book of Nichael      3. The Book of Schnorkles    4. The Gospel of the Orb              ?. ???          6. The Book of Brexit (I will scan these)    Update: these are not in the book 7. The Plague Book  E: I should update this, there is more twoday has issued a correction as of 03:40 on Apr 14, 2022 |
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Sep 8, 2018 00:36
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Title and Dedication
twoday has issued a correction as of 00:40 on Sep 8, 2018 |
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Sep 8, 2018 00:38
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The Book of Baloogan
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Sep 8, 2018 00:39
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The Book of Nichael:
twoday has issued a correction as of 00:51 on Sep 8, 2018 |
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Sep 8, 2018 00:42
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needs more trucking; loving
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Sep 8, 2018 01:04
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hmm yeah, that's a good point ~~~~~ Pending: - Cardboard Trump - The Snake - The SuccZone - truckin and fuckin - very fancy "lodestar" -the failing new york times the failing new york times hi-ho, a derry-o the failing New York Times -The book of C-SPAM is weird and jarring No one can understand the thing It's full of trums and trmps and trumos And instructions for shitposting But IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII I love it when you tmp to me And youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu You can pmurt me anything Tainen posted:I found 2Dcat's post trump brief post. twoday has issued a correction as of 04:34 on Nov 28, 2018 |
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Sep 8, 2018 01:06
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needs more schnorkin, borkin'
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Sep 8, 2018 01:06
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ddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
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Sep 8, 2018 01:08
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trump
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Sep 8, 2018 01:08
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yes, also feel free to shitpost in this thread
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Sep 8, 2018 01:10
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Just received my Sword of the Bastard Elf huge and beautiful book, finishing this sucker up and I'll buy a copySmythe posted:ddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd oh yeah thanks for reminding me, also needs a lot more D's
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Sep 8, 2018 01:10
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don't hold your breath, there are only 16 pages so far
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Sep 8, 2018 01:13
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twoday posted:don't hold your breath, there are only 16 pages so far needs at least 40 more pages of dragons having sex with monster trucks
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Sep 8, 2018 01:15
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twoday posted:don't hold your breath, there are only 16 pages so far at least some pages must be dedicated to sentai gif probes
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Sep 8, 2018 01:15
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nice, it's good to have these in one placetwoday posted:- This is a communal goon project, and thus doomed to fail. failure is the end state of all things, and doom was laid on us the moment we were born just have fun with it
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Sep 8, 2018 01:16
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Addamere posted:at least some pages must be dedicated to sentai gif probes this but the butt bouncing necro dancer gif cumshitter probed people with
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Sep 8, 2018 01:16
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Duscat posted:failure is the end state of all things, and doom was laid on us the moment we were born find some way to express cheerful nihilism, op 
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Sep 8, 2018 01:17
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Duscat posted:
Yeah, I have tried to make it my routine to write a page before starting to work on other stuff, feels good
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Sep 8, 2018 01:18
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once you start putting in cspam butts, those pages are just going to fill themselves
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Sep 8, 2018 01:19
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post you are map
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Sep 8, 2018 01:22
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DryGoods posted:once you start putting in cspam butts, those pages are just going to fill themselves  
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Sep 8, 2018 01:24
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Addamere posted:find some way to express cheerful nihilism, op I have been trying to make music and do other things that express that for years, and my music is fairly good but I feel that text is really the best way to do this. Some earlier works:   That last one is painted over another painting (that is a copy of a painting by a famous artist that was made by an unknown art student) that was made in the 1890s twoday has issued a correction as of 03:00 on Sep 8, 2018 |
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Sep 8, 2018 01:26
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twoday posted:I have been trying to make music and do other things that express that for years, and my music is fairly good but I feel that text is really the best way to do this. i really like these, would also love to hear the music
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Sep 8, 2018 01:27
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it's me, I'm the good bittwoday posted:yes, also feel free to shitpost in this thread Addamere posted:at least some pages must be dedicated to sentai gif probes 
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Sep 8, 2018 01:27
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twoday posted:I have been trying to make music and do other things that express that for years, and my music is fairly good but I feel that text is really the best way to do this. owns owns owns
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Sep 8, 2018 01:27
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Addamere posted:i really like these, would also love to hear the music https://soundcloud.com/autophobe I have some more paintings in the attic, will post them later
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Sep 8, 2018 01:32
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twoday posted:
read that and immediately started reciting EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A VHS INTO THE SLOT. IT’S CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, RIDDICK. I DO EVERY MOVE AND I DO EVERY MOVE HARD. MAKIN WHOOSHING SOUNDS WHEN I SLAM DOWN SOME NECRO BASTARDS OR EVEN WHEN I MESS UP TECHNIQUE. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY ESCAPED THE GALAXYS MOST DANGEROUS PRISON. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUTLOUD EVERYDAY TO PEOPLE IN MY COLLEGE CLASS AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE PEOPLE IN COLLEGE CLASS CAN STILL BE IMMATURE JEKRS. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE LINES AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY APARTMENT LESS LONELY BY SHOUTING EM ALL. 2 HOURS INCLUDING WIND DOWN EVERY MORNIng
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Sep 8, 2018 01:37
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quote:This one has a good story, I found this faded alpine landscape print literally in the garbage and liked the frame and wanted to paint something over it. But 3 years passed and I hadn’t done anything with it. Then it was my friend’s birthday, and I decided to customize it for him, so I asked him for his favorite color and quote, and it was red and this. So I made it, and then stood back and was flabbergasted by what I had produced. I tried to give it to him but he said that it was too forcefully depressing and refused to accept it as a gift, so I still have it. That friend was a goon and the quote came from YOSPOS. Someone had trouble installing their modem and couldn’t figure out how to configure it and asked for advice and this was the answer.
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Sep 8, 2018 01:39
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The book of C-SPAM is weird and jarring No one can understand the thing It's full of trums and trmps and trumos And instructions for shitposting But IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII I love it when you tmp to me And youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu You can pmurt me anything
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Sep 8, 2018 01:39
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twoday posted:yes, also feel free to shitpost in this thread i really want to, but honestly it's tough when someone puts in the effort with a calligraphy pen on actual IRL paper. nicely done.
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Sep 8, 2018 01:40
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this is a good idea
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Sep 8, 2018 01:40
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Good soup! posted:this is a good idea it's gonna make several of dollars
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Sep 8, 2018 01:41
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twoday posted:I have been trying to make music and do other things that express that for years, and my music is fairly good but I feel that text is really the best way to do this. cool
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Sep 8, 2018 01:43
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twoday posted:This one has a good story, I found this faded alpine landscape print literally in the garbage and liked the frame and wanted to paint something over it. But 3 years passed and I hadn’t done anything with it. Then it was my friend’s birthday, and I decided to customize it for him, so I asked him for his favorite color and quote, and it was red and this. So I made it, and then stood back and was flabbergasted by what I had produced. I tried to give it to him but he said that it was too forcefully depressing and refused to accept it as a gift, so I still have it. okay now i like this one too the other one was already awesome
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Sep 8, 2018 01:43
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an actual dog posted:the failing new york times please include this seminal c-spam post, op
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Sep 8, 2018 01:43
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twoday posted:This one has a good story, I found this faded alpine landscape print literally in the garbage and liked the frame and wanted to paint something over it. But 3 years passed and I hadn’t done anything with it. Then it was my friend’s birthday, and I decided to customize it for him, so I asked him for his favorite color and quote, and it was red and this. So I made it, and then stood back and was flabbergasted by what I had produced. I tried to give it to him but he said that it was too forcefully depressing and refused to accept it as a gift, so I still have it. do you have creation stories about each of your songs as well? is there more nihilist art?
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Sep 8, 2018 01:44
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twoday posted:This one has a good story, I found this faded alpine landscape print literally in the garbage and liked the frame and wanted to paint something over it. But 3 years passed and I hadnt done anything with it. Then it was my friends birthday, and I decided to customize it for him, so I asked him for his favorite color and quote, and it was red and this. So I made it, and then stood back and was flabbergasted by what I had produced. I tried to give it to him but he said that it was too forcefully depressing and refused to accept it as a gift, so I still have it. can i post this pic else where ?
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Sep 8, 2018 01:46
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Sep 8, 2018 01:46
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Hostess Snack Cake posted:please include this seminal c-spam post, op hahaha, yeah Addamere posted:do you have creation stories about each of your songs as well? yes and yes, I'll look for photos of the other paintings any song in particular? this is how I made the indian-sounding ones (“morning” and “afternoon”) twoday has issued a correction as of 03:16 on Sep 8, 2018 |
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Sep 8, 2018 01:47
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