/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Moon Atari: Dec 26, 2010

I like to take things slow with regards to physical intimacy. Many women take this really negatively and assume if you aren't all over them right away that there is either something wrong with you or they get very insecure about their appearance. But he seems incredibly naive about why she might want him to stay the night during their first in person interaction after long distance dating, assuming she is just being clingy. He doesn't state that he just wants to wait longer or anything, rather he seems devoid of any sexual desire or awareness that is an expected part of most romantic relationships.

# ? Sep 17, 2018 06:49

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# ? May 25, 2024 03:13

Clocks: Oct 2, 2007

He's 100% not into her and needs to break up. I don't know if they knew each other before being long distance or what but that reaction to what sounds like a first date(?) is natural if you're just not that into a person.

From her perspective she probably was excited to see her "boyfriend" and have him stay over and she even tried to initiate but he wasn't having any of it. I'd be bummed too. No shame in not actually having sex or anything but when my ex and I would spend time after being away for a few months I'd definitely want to at least cuddle or fall asleep with him next to me.

# ? Sep 17, 2018 06:53

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

he's into bodybuilding and chess. he sucks. he's a number-loving gains goblin.

# ? Sep 17, 2018 06:57

ulex minor: Apr 30, 2018

Pick posted:

maybe instead of feeling sad they can get over themselves, like women have had to

it's a fact that all women have to spend thirty minutes convincing everyone else at the table to get dessert before they will order what they wanted to be begin with, just some more food related gender wisdom for the thread

# ? Sep 17, 2018 06:57

Moon Atari: Dec 26, 2010

He might be a legit asexual.

# ? Sep 17, 2018 06:58

bell jar: Feb 25, 2009

Pick posted:

he's into bodybuilding and chess. he sucks. he's a number-loving gains goblin.

no, she's the gains goblin in this scenario

# ? Sep 17, 2018 07:01

wak: May 8, 2017; D U C K F A L E S .; Pillbug

My (26M) boyfriend of 1 year gets really vocally frustrated when I (25F) accidentally make us lose when playing video games, a shared activity we both love, and it is sapping the fun out of it for me

quote:

TL;DR: My boyfriend and I like to play multiplayer PvP games together as a shared activity. We both love doing this, except...his mechanical skill is far superior to mine and he gets really frustrated with me when my mistakes or lack of skill causes us to lose. It's started to make me feel some trepidation about playing with him at all because I don't want to hold him back, and honestly his taking it so seriously sort of makes playing not so much fun for me. I'm tired of being told how bad I suck. He apologizes each time, but...it's still a trend that has been ongoing for a year. I want to change that so that we can still share this hobby...is there some way I can discuss this with him that might break through and help him rein himself in in the middle of an intense game?

Hey all,

I'm a mid 20s female dating a mid 20s male for a year. We are both big gamers, though prior to dating him I mostly just played MMORPGs, whereas he plays all sorts. Over time, he has introduced me to all kinds of new games I never would have played before for us to play together, particularly multiplayer PvP games like Overwatch, Fortnite and Sea of Thieves. I really, really like all of these games and love to play them with him. The problem is that, since I'm very new to shooters and controllers, I'm a lot worse than him in terms of my aiming, my adeptness using a controller, making the right call in high pressure PvP situations, etc. I've gotten a lot better than when I started, but...yeah. I'm okay with this though because for me the point is just to have fun with my boyfriend, and I don't need to win to do that.

My boyfriend, on the other hand, is a pretty competitive person, who really likes to push his limits and see his skill pay off, so he tends to get really into "winning" whatever multiplayer PvP scenario we are in. It seems to me like he can have fun in the more casual modes of a game only up to a certain point, and then after that he needs to be playing competitively in order to have fun. But because we play on the same team, my relative lack of skill tends to become apparent and unfortunately it can be a liability for him. So what tends to happen is because I did something wrong or messed up or just didn't execute as well as he could have in a crucial moment, we won't have as good an outcome as we might have, and he will get very frustrated and express this through comments that hurt my feelings and make me feel bad about my poor level of play.

Examples: Last April/May I started to play Overwatch with him. After several months learning the game (my first FPS) in its casual Quickplay mode, he encouraged me to play Competitive mode with him. So I did, and was placed a few hundred points below his SR, so I could still team up with him in comp. Comp mode was really fun for me because people tend to actually try and cooperate with each other and execute strategies, which they don't really do in Quickplay. But over time it became clear that my boyfriend felt held back, based on frustrated comments he would make after our team lost a match. He felt he could easily climb from his rank in mid Silver into Platinum based on his skill, but I was just in Bronze and so...I wouldn't be able to help him get there. He made little comments about my tracking, my positioning, target priority. He criticized my play on Reinhardt to the point I didn't ever want to play him again. Even though I was initially a Winston main, after a poor round in comp mode he told me he didn't think Winston was "for me" anymore. I never dared to play DPS heroes since I didn't think I'd be able to contribute to a level that would help him win. It got to the point where I was really only comfortable playing Mercy and Moira, two forgiving healers who don't require a great deal of mechanical skill, so that I could heal him and let him take the DPS spot. But he thought I wasn't a good Moira (even though I was objectively playing very well on her for our rank). So I only played Mercy when playing with him, and we started to win, and he climbed into mid Gold while I reached high Silver. Until one day when we considered teaming up with another person we had played with before, who was also a Mercy main in mid gold. I had my doubts since at this point I exclusively played Mercy when playing with him, but then he said, "Yeah, it'd be really great to team up with someone who's actually good at healing," and I got upset, and...since then we haven't really played comp mode. It just stresses me out. To be honest, we don't play Overwatch together anymore, because he only has fun when playing comp mode and I get too stressed out trying not to mess up when playing comp mode with him.

I bought PUBG at his insistence, but the few times I played with him with or without our other friends, I was so bad I basically caused us all to die, which really frustrates him, so l don't really like to play PUBG. I tried playing Fortnite together as duos and squads, at his insistence. I was also bad at this. I got better at the movement and gunplay, but the building aspect was harder for me, so I was just pretty slow and clunky and not as fast as he was. My boyfriend is capable of winning any given round of Fortnite on his own or if he had a squad of others as competent as himself, so it frustrated him to no end when I would just be sort of clunkily trying to very quickly build a fort and mess up. I couldn't decide to shoot someone unless he told me to. It was "literally killing him" to watch my screen and see me play because I was so bad, apparently. A few times I messed up and it lost us the round, which he made clear to me. But if I ever got upset at his comments, he would say I shouldn't be so sensitive. It really isn't fun for him if he's not placing top 5 regularly and winning not infrequently, but...with me on his team that wasn't going to happen...so...we don't really play that anymore.

Lately we have been trying Sea of Thieves. He bought it and loved it, and really wanted me to buy it, but I was leery of the price. He pushed and pushed until I agreed to pay for half, so now that's been our game. And I love to play it with him!....except...unfortunately the little comments have continued. It's my job to handle the ship's sails, since he won't let me use the steering wheel since I'm not good enough at it. The wind can't leave the sails for a second before he will ask me why the sails aren't optimized. When we have to fight other ships, he won't let me fire the cannons, since I'm not good enough at that. In PvP scenarios on shore, he tells me to stick with the ship to make sure it doesn't sink, since I'm not good enough with the gunplay to win at the PvP. Lately, he has only been interested in challenging skeleton forts that are often hotly contested by other players and have many mobs of skeletons but have a great reward of loot if you can fend everyone off and come out on top. This is the closest thing to high intensity competitive play this game has, you see. So today, he decided the two of us would challenge a skeleton fort. Since I wasn't good enough to be allowed to steer the ship, man the cannons, or fire a gun, I patched holes in the ship and bailed water out of the ship for literally two and a half hours, while being killed every few minutes by enemy players boarding our ship and finding me alone, busy trying to make sure we didn't sink while he got to run around on the island fighting skeletons and players. He told me I was useless and he'd just have to do everything himself, he guessed. I asked how I could possibly help when he wouldn't actually let me contribute in any way other than bailing water. He said if I were to try to steer, shoot, or man the cannons, then we would lose, so I couldn't do that.

So I got pretty upset. I don't like feeling like I'm holding him back, and at the same time I play this game to have fun together, and it isn't fun for me to royally suck and have that be pointed out to me, not to mention just bail water for hours and hours while he gets to play hero. After two and a half hours, we won and I requested that we take a break from forts and just do some more laid back missions that weren't so high pressure. He agreed, and then wanted to switch servers. The second we switched servers it became apparent that there was another skeleton fort active and immediately he started pressuring me to do that and threatening to just quit the game if we didn't since doing anything other than the most competitive option would be a waste of his time. So we spent another hour of me fixing holes and bailing water. Then he started feeling nauseous so after three and a half straight hours of me bailing water out of a ship, we quit the game.

Basically it just seems like no matter what multiplayer game we try, always at his suggestion, my relative lack of skill always seems to make him super frustrated, which he makes me very aware of. It makes me feel self conscious and bad about myself and it really saps the fun out of it. It's getting to the point where I just won't want to play these multiplayer games with him at all, which is very sad to me, and which he rejects, since he really wants to play with me too. I really want to try to fix this. For the record, he always apologizes eventually, and he wants to work on it too, but as he says, he's competitive and gets frustrated.

Is there any way we can continue to share this hobby or should I just stop playing these sorts of competitive games with him?

# ? Sep 17, 2018 07:02

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

death to all gamers, but especially death to PVP gamers

# ? Sep 17, 2018 07:07

Khazar-khum: Oct 22, 2008; Cat Army
2nd Battalion

Pick posted:

he's into bodybuilding and chess. he sucks. he's a number-loving gains goblin.

I don't think girls are on his agenda.

quote:

death to all gamers, but especially death to PVP gamers

Overwatch. Not even once.

# ? Sep 17, 2018 07:10

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

Veni Vidi Ameche! posted:

You're supposed to buy Magnum condoms for your monster dong.

With your wad of hundreds.

The proest move is to buy magnums and then return them with a sad look in your eyes on the last day the store offers cash refunds instead of store credit. Keep doing this for a few months and you are guaranteed a pity gently caress for your big sad dick that nobody wants to touch.

# ? Sep 17, 2018 07:32

My Imaginary GF: Jul 17, 2005; by R. Guyovich

ClamdestineBoyster posted:

I�m just gonna say it pick. I think you�re being oppressive. There are a whole bunch of straight men who regularly eat pesto in a totally not gay way. There may be lipstick stains on the white bread but they are really just a sensible red and not any of that trendy poo poo.

How is pesto gay? At all? Whipping up some homemade pesto and mosstacoli for a chick is, like, some of the manliest poo poo you can do.

lol but seriously I posted:

light and soundwaves bend around women, rending them unapprehendable to my masucline vision.

But enough about yo momma

# ? Sep 17, 2018 07:50

FROOOOOOOOG: Jan 28, 2009

DACK FAYDEN posted:

ducks... do this?

DACKS do this.

# ? Sep 17, 2018 08:22

Milotic: Mar 4, 2009; 9CL apologist; Slippery Tilde

This doesn�t pass my usual smell test, but oh my god some of you need to shut up

I (31M) was chased by a friend of a friend (29F) who I'm convinced is a lesbian who only wanted my genetic material

quote:

u/FullSong
I am a 31 year old male with very little sexual experience or understanding of dating. I used to be religious with some emotional issues (see post history), and now I only find myself attracted to a very specific personality type.

Recently I had this girl who is very conventionally attractive, but not my type, come after me like I've never had anyone come after me. I even purposely acted like a loser and took every chance to indicate my lack of interest in anything sexual or romantic. But she was undeterred. As the title indicates, I have a strong suspicion that she is a lesbian who was only interested in my genetic material. This is based on her behaviour, dress, motions, hobbies, few other things I won't specify. Long story short she was only in town for 2 weeks, before she flew off for a career move, we ended up not hooking up and I think she was extremely disappointed. I never voiced my suspicions to her, and in fact they only materialized one hour ago, when in a quest to become more human I started to watch the 2nd episode from Friends where Ross's lesbian ex-wife is pregnant.

For the next 48 hours, she is a 2 hour plane flight away, after that she will be a 20 hour plane flight away. I'm quite sure she doesn't have lingering feelings or interest in any further friendship or contact with me.

I would like to help her. I think she is a beautiful human being and does not deserve her plight. I can only imagine the awfulness she has had to endure being a conventionally pretty girl in a very traditionalist society, that is not friendly to gays at all, with a conservative family on top of that. If this is her goal then I want to help her achieve it. I seriously doubt she has any feelings for me, yet I recognize that, whether I'm right or wrong, there's some chance she will be deeply offended by my sharing my thoughts.

Should I do:

Nothing
Link this thread to her
Message one of her friends about it
Call her and say... What?
Yes, I'm willing to fly 2 hours (not 20) to artificially inseminate her, I really feel that much for her frustration.

TL;DR - - I strongly suspect a likely lesbian wants me for my genetic material only, how do I help?

# ? Sep 17, 2018 08:36

Milotic: Mar 4, 2009; 9CL apologist; Slippery Tilde

I�m pretty sure you could have no strings attached with someone who is not a loving time bomb

How to tell if a married man�s �open marriage� is legitimate?

quote:

u/ShyJasmine
I�m considering continuing a sex-only physical friendship with a married man. He is older (early 40s) and has been in a 10+ year marriage with his wife. He tells me his wife has a medical condition that prevents penetrative sex and encourages him to have flings. However, she does not want to know or hear about the flings.

What are some ways I can verify this in light of the fact that his wife does not want to know or hear about the flings? Public and private messages are both ok if you aren�t comfortable sharing your methods publicly. Thanks.

tl;dr How to verify a man is in fact in an open relationship when his wife doesn�t want to know or heat about the flings?

# ? Sep 17, 2018 08:40

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

FROOOOOOOOG posted:

DACKS do this.

Dacks. You like dacks?

Oh... DUCKS. Yeah, I like ducks.

# ? Sep 17, 2018 08:43

Milotic: Mar 4, 2009; 9CL apologist; Slippery Tilde

New expansion is out

[20F] My bf [21M] didn't go to my dad's memorial, feelings still hurt. What to do?

quote:

u/YourWaifu420
I have been with my boyfriend about 8 months. My dad passed away last month in his sleep from a heart attack, and I was the one that found him in the morning. My boyfriend had been staying over when it happened,(he lives an hour and a half away) he was originally going to stay for a week and after it happened he stayed for an additional week to give me emotional support.

My mom scheduled the memorial about 3 1/2 weeks after it happened. So the memorial would have been about 2 weeks after my boyfriend had gone back home. I did just assume he'd come, but he told me a few days before he left that he probably wouldn't come. He reasoned that he's tired of commuting so much to see me, he's been trying to get a job, and his online class started that week so he wanted to be able to focus on that.

He lives in a small town so it is really hard for him to get a job out there, but I know he is trying. The online class is his first college class so I understand he wants to be there and prepared for it, but he only has one class. I'm also in online classes but I've already taken a few so I already know what they're like.

As soon as he got home, he did apply for jobs and do his school work, but he also bought a subscription for wow and just started playing that all the time. I never cared when he played it before but I felt hurt that something traumatic happened to me and he goes home and buys wow asap and plays it all day, goes to one job interview, does one 20 minute homework assignment for the rest of the week, and tells me he's too busy to come to my dad's memorial.

Of course I don't want to be upset at him, I just feel really hurt that he wasn't at the memorial to support me. I did talk to him about how I feel like he just didn't want to be there and of course he says that's not true, he's just busy. He's sick of me talking about it but I still feel hurt, but I don't know if I'm just being selfish and it's not really a big deal for him to be there. I know he has a life too and I need to think of his feelings as well.

Tl;dr: My boyfriend was visiting when my dad passed, stayed another week for me. Memorial was scheduled for about 3 1/2 weeks after the passing, 2 weeks after my bf goes home. Bf lives 1 1/2 away. He told me a few days before he left he probably wouldn't come to the memorial, saying he's tired of commuting to visit me, trying to get a job, wants to be prepared for his one online class that starts the same week. He goes home, does get a job interview and does his 20 minutes of schoolwork, but bought wow first and mostly plays that all day. Already talked to him about feeling like he didn't want to come and says he's just busy and he's sick of hearing it. Been about 2 weeks since the memorial and still hurt.

# ? Sep 17, 2018 08:44

Milotic: Mar 4, 2009; 9CL apologist; Slippery Tilde

I dread going to my sister in law's wedding, or any wedding for that matter, and I'm not sure if im a terrible person or not.

quote:

u/throwaway2431134
I want to start off by saying I'm incredibly introverted, but have a good relationship with my husband's family overall.

My husband didn't think marriage was very important but I did. He is not romantic and doesn't like being the center of attention but I am a sucker for romance. For two years leading up to our actual marriage, he cancelled it and rescheduled it 3 times. He was just so unsure and panicky but loved me to death and never wanted to leave. Just the people and legal aspect of it messed him up ( but obviously, he eventually got over it and did it cause love won). I was very patient with him, being together for 7 years. Though, it really hosed with my emotions and my heart. We ended up having the smallest personal wedding ever for his sake.

I had to throw away my dream wedding, get my hopes up and heart broken 3 times in two years so it hosed me up. I'm not someone who wanted a million dollar wedding. I wanted my family there at a decent venue decorated how I always envisioned.

My sister in law is getting married in a year or so and it just made me realize how salty I was hearing about it. I constantly get depressed, thinking 'am I really this much of a jealous bitch?' or "I have a good reason to be upset/jealous." I can't seem to put my mind at ease.

She is nice but we don't have a close relationship at all. I just really don't care enough nor do I feel like I would handle it well going to her wedding. I went to her engagement party, (which I didn't have either) but was so overwhelmed I left early.

I really like his family but I worry about leaving a bad taste in their mouths. I can't even see myself going to any other family member's wedding.

Tl;Dr - became emotionally hosed during the planning of my wedding and it tainted my thoughts on other weddings and I don't know if that's reasonable or not

So three posts: Open relationship, weird dude who can�t relate to women, weddings. That should get us back on track.

# ? Sep 17, 2018 08:51

DoctorTristan: Mar 11, 2006; I would look up into your lifeless eyes and wave, like this. Can you and your associates arrange that for me, Mr. Morden?

Milotic posted:

I (31M) was chased by a friend of a friend (29F) who I'm convinced is a lesbian who only wanted my genetic material

Can�t decide whether this is a /redpill troll post or a failed attempt at a troll post.

# ? Sep 17, 2018 09:48

MrQwerty: Apr 15, 2003; LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL (づ￣ �￣)づ♥(�∀�●)

DoctorTristan posted:

Can�t decide whether this is a /redpill troll post or a failed attempt at a troll post.

the rest of his post history is mostly r/SuicideWatch and r/Christianity, with titles such as "AMA: My soul is in hell already. ASK ME ANYTHING" and "How to donate organs?"

it's either a troll account or a very, very damaged traditional hispanic Catholic (one of his replies in the lesbian post says he's from Mexico)

MrQwerty fucked around with this message at 09:58 on Sep 17, 2018

# ? Sep 17, 2018 09:53

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Irish whiskey is good, and German bier is good, and Italian prosecco is good, but my true love will always be tiki drinks.

Bonus points if they're served in a bowl, on fire.

# ? Sep 17, 2018 10:11

DoctorTristan: Mar 11, 2006; I would look up into your lifeless eyes and wave, like this. Can you and your associates arrange that for me, Mr. Morden?

MrQwerty posted:

the rest of his post history is mostly r/SuicideWatch and r/Christianity, with titles such as "AMA: My soul is in hell already. ASK ME ANYTHING" and "How to donate organs?"

it's either a troll account or a very, very damaged traditional hispanic Catholic (one of his replies in the lesbian post says he's from Mexico)

Yikes. That�s far more effort than r/redpill trolls normally go to, but the �only wants my genetic material� sounds like he�s at least been reading their stuff if not posting there.

# ? Sep 17, 2018 10:20

ClamdestineBoyster: Aug 15, 2015; Can't post for 10 years!

My Imaginary GF posted:

How is pesto gay? At all? Whipping up some homemade pesto and mosstacoli for a chick is, like, some of the manliest poo poo you can do.

But enough about yo momma

Yeah exactly, making pesto for a GIRL to eat is manly. Just like sewing amateur lingerie for a girl to wear is manly. But what if a MAN wants to eat PESTO? Does he have to hunker in the corner of a gay bar? Scooping hunks of pesto into his maw before someone notices him and tries to switch him to buffalo wings? Or can he simply sit in a bistro in his pants and eat pesto like a man? :thunkher:

# ? Sep 17, 2018 10:55

Edgar Allan Pwned: Apr 4, 2011; Quoth the Raven "I love the power glove. It's so bad..."

Pick posted:

guys just think the pete story is great because they're big horny idiots who can't imagine doing literally anything unless it might get them laid. women on the other hand can go days, genuinely days, without thinking about sex whatsoever if there's other stuff that has to get done or really they have any other goals of any kind. men absolutely do not believe this, because accepting that other people might not think exactly the same way they do, is not something they think will get them sex (so they don't care).

i am a woman and im always imagining boning. my love for corn dogs and ice cream cones has nothing to do with my desire to give head

it DOES seem like men make poorer decisions to get laid, but maybe women take different types of risk??

# ? Sep 17, 2018 13:01

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Pick posted:

he's into bodybuilding and chess. he sucks. he's a number-loving gains goblin.

Bah, too long for a username. :smith:

# ? Sep 17, 2018 13:10

Kite Pride Worldwide: Apr 20, 2009

wak posted:

He felt he could easily climb from his rank in mid Silver into Platinum based on his skill,

This says so much more about him than anything else in that of the wall of text ever could.

Overwatch ranks are on a bell curve so Platinum is actually "distinctly average" and anything below that is varying degrees of poo poo :laugh:

# ? Sep 17, 2018 13:13

MightyJoe36: Dec 29, 2013; Cat Army

Firstscion posted:

Mods pls change my name to the telltale rear end

Please change mine to Schroedinger's gay box.

# ? Sep 17, 2018 13:23

Admiralty Flag: Jun 7, 2007; to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2022

ArbitraryC posted:

Everyone can smell desperation

When I was young, perpetually drunk, and completely self-centered, I was like a bloodhound that could detect desperatiom and insecurity, and thus usually had a romantic partner at any given time.

Unfortunately, I was also so young, perpetually drunk, and completely self-centered that I had a hard time identifying other human dumpster fires. I had a lot of terrible girlfriends/fianc�es/live-ins/etc.

I guess I�m saying that the difference between a garbage person becoming a serial monogamist or an incel might be either having low standards or being unable to notice obvious warning signs of danger?

# ? Sep 17, 2018 13:25

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

Any man who is worried about his manliness and about what other men might think of his manliness is automatically less manly than someone eating a whole bowl of pesto with nothing but bubbly sparkly pink drinks, not giving a gently caress

Consuming certain foods or fluids does not make you anything at all

# ? Sep 17, 2018 13:27

Moon Atari: Dec 26, 2010

Zzulu posted:

Consuming certain foods or fluids does not make you anything at all

I can think of at least one fluid that does.

# ? Sep 17, 2018 13:42

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

I make a point of always ordering the pinkest thing on the menu when I'm at a cocktail bar, because it's guaranteed to be sugary and delicious. It's yet to let me down.

# ? Sep 17, 2018 13:44

VanSandman: Feb 16, 2011; SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER

Edgar Allan Pwned posted:

i am a woman and im always imagining boning. my love for corn dogs and ice cream cones has nothing to do with my desire to give head

it DOES seem like men make poorer decisions to get laid, but maybe women take different types of risk??

Yeah the risk is sleeping with men at all ever
I�m a guy and what the gently caress, ladies
My hypothesis: dick must feel amazing

# ? Sep 17, 2018 13:55

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Absurd Alhazred posted:

You are petty and cruel, and plague mankind with suffering.

Yes yes but enough about women.

Milotic posted:

How to tell if a married man’s “open marriage” is legitimate?

quote:

He tells me his wife has a medical condition that prevents penetrative sex and encourages him to have flings. However, she does not want to know or hear about the flings.

How conveeeeenient!

# ? Sep 17, 2018 13:56

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

ClamdestineBoyster posted:

Just like sewing amateur lingerie for a girl to wear is manly

Lol what

# ? Sep 17, 2018 14:03

burial: Sep 13, 2002; actually, that won't be necessary.

Captain Yossarian posted:

Lol what

Oh like you�ve never given a partner some hand-stitched crotchless underpants before.

Also, content:

my [19 f] boyfriend [20m] (8 months/LDR) doesn't want me to do a hobby i enjoy because it is "attention seeking"
u/delicatelyours

quote:

i play a lot of video games and while i was playing one i met this guy, called j. we started talking as friends, and ultimately started a relationship. it's long distance right now, but i'm planning to visit him on january. i also go to college, and he has a job. we spend a lot of time together (games, movies, just talking) and i'm happy with him. of course, no relationship is perfect, and we both do have some jealousy issues.

when we started talking, i was a twitch streamer (people watched me play video games live on a website). i had a small following, and it didn't really bother j. however, as it goes being female online, there's a good amount of guys who hit on you just because you're female. those types of people are called "orbiters," and i did have a good amount of them. ultimately, j didn't really like that i had the orbiters (fair enough), and in the beginning of our relationship i flirted with some of them too. he found out about that and was really upset with me, and i know what i did was wrong.

i used to be an attention seeker in the past online, since i was really shy IRL and i could be whoever i wanted to be online. i did a lot of dumb things (nudes etc) to whoever bc i was insecure and it made me feel better. i feel like i've come a long way from then, and i don't do anything like that anymore.

i stopped livestreaming in march because i agreed it was bad for me to have a bunch of orbiters watch me just because i'm female (mostly). i did have some friends who watched me too, male and female, and people i enjoyed talking to.

i was pretty untrustworthy, and lied about things i didn't need to in order to seem right in arguments. he also does things i don't agree with, such as tilting (getting mad at games because our team mates are bad, though not angry at me, and rages a lot). him tilting kinda ruins our games because i just want to chill and have fun. but he tells me that he plays all games to win, and he can't change that. he said that he does try to tilt less though.

lately, we've argued a lot because of things that make me jealous. i still had orbiters who messaged me sometimes and said weird stuff (i didn't participate) about a month ago, and he was upset about that too. but he decided to keep talking to people he knew i wouldn't like (a girl who really likes him) because i do it. so i did stop doing that, and now i block everyone who is weird to me, but he still talked to this girl and another person who clearly wants him. however j has never done anything to break my trust, and i'm still pretty jealous/possessive.

in general though, to me streaming used to be a way to get more attention online. i was pretty flirty with people who came in my chat, though i didn't wear revealing things. he also thinks that i fake my voice sometimes. but i've always been told i have a soft voice, online and irl. i think people's voices change with their mood, and when i stream or talk to people in game (or new people irl) it is definitely softer. i talk "deeper" to him when we're just chilling because my mood is like normal i guess, but when i'm excited about something it's like softer. of course i want to seem cute, who doesn't, but i specifically try to sound deep now when i talk to people in games so he won't be annoyed.

i do want to start streaming again though, because i think it's a fun way to hang out with my friends. i don't talk to any of the orbiters anymore (though j thinks that some of my genuine friends are orbiters), and i like when people hang out with me when i play games. j thinks i should just message them when i play, but it's hard for me because i don't have that much to talk about. when i stream, i just chill and play the game and people come in and say stuff, which i reply to. i also narrate the games sometimes.

i agree i was acting in a bad way when i used to stream, but i want to do it again and be good. i made rules for myself, including strict moderation of my messages, only once a week, etc. j initially agreed to these rules but changed his mind. it frustrates me a lot, because j says that my stream hurt him in the past (me getting outside attention), and said that he will never date someone who streams.

so basically if i do stream again, we're over. i keep trying to talk about it, because my rules are genuinely fair, and if i act good on the stream i don't know why it would hurt him. he won't listen though. i would really like for him to be supportive of me and such in the hobby that i enjoy.

all of my friends basically dislike j, and think i should stream and do whatever i want. but i do love him and want it to make it work. the fact that it's online doesn't matter to me at all either. i know people will be like "why stay" but he means a lot to me, we've spent a lot of time together, and i really do love him. i'm trying to come to an agreement with him but idk if it's possible.

i'd really like some advice for what to do. i put a lot of time into streaming before as a hobby and genuinely enjoy it. i used to use it for attention but i really do not anymore, besides that people watch me and interact with me. what should i do? any advice is appreciated and thank you for reading.

tldr: boyfriend doesn't like me livestreaming my games because i used to be an attention seeker. he says that if i do it again we're done.

OK, so yawn. Dude�s being a controlling asshol�

OP, in the comments posted:

basically i implied id send nudes to people for donations. i never did it though. i used to do that stuff in the past but i never sent while we dated.
actually when im excited i talk like softer/ higher pitched which is normal imo. like if i get a good team kill or something. but also when i meet new people im more shy so its softer and higher too. when im just chilling w him its like normal.
i dont know anything tbh. like all my friends say to end it and logically i should. esp bc he has like a min wage job and no intentions to go to school so financially moving in together is a big question mark. but i guess i just need input. thank you for commenting.

OK, dude�s an rear end in a top hat with a semi-legitimate reason to be uncomfortable? (assuming this means she continued to imply she�d send people nudes after they began dating.) Still a horrible match, just maybe on both sides instead of only one.

# ? Sep 17, 2018 14:47

Veni Vidi Ameche!: Nov 2, 2017; by Fluffdaddy

tactlessbastard posted:

How conveeeeenient!

It�s interesting that Pick thinks women have a magical sex-ignore ability, yet this thread is full - FULL - of women desparately looking for excuses to ride new dicks, or to continue riding dicks which have proven to be bad for them. I guess the theory is it�s not about the dick, it�s about companionship or something? I guess the constant presence of sex, like where every single /r/relationships post about living with some awful turd goblin start with �the sex is AMAZING,� is coincidence.

I�m skeptical of the conventional wisdom that women can just go through multi-year sex droughts without a care in the world. I think the main difference is they need better excuses for why they�re loving somebody, and I suspect that�s mostly cultural, anyway.

# ? Sep 17, 2018 14:51

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

3,447 pages in and people still bite when Pick trolls this thread

# ? Sep 17, 2018 15:20

Skutter: Apr 8, 2007; Well you can fuck that sky high!

Miserable Maid posted:

Yeah, that's where men are loving weird. Drink choice, and also pets.

There are men who won't get their male dogs neutered because it could somehow call into question their own virility if their animal can't produce offspring. Like they're loving Grecian kings or something.

Beachcomber posted:

Irish whiskey is good, and German bier is good, and Italian prosecco is good, but my true love will always be tiki drinks.

Bonus points if they're served in a bowl, on fire.

How are tiki drinks not manly? The whole tiki bar concept was brought to the US by soldiers who served in the Pacific Theater during WW2. So if anyone gives you poo poo for it, they're not only being unpatriotic, but also enormous weenies.

# ? Sep 17, 2018 15:27

andrew smash: Jun 26, 2006; smooth soul

burial posted:

Oh like you�ve never given a partner some hand-stitched crotchless underpants before.

Also, content:

my [19 f] boyfriend [20m] (8 months/LDR) doesn't want me to do a hobby i enjoy because it is "attention seeking"
u/delicatelyours

OK, so yawn. Dude�s being a controlling asshol�

OK, dude�s an rear end in a top hat with a semi-legitimate reason to be uncomfortable? (assuming this means she continued to imply she�d send people nudes after they began dating.) Still a horrible match, just maybe on both sides instead of only one.

He�s just another one of her �orbiters� who got promoted. They haven�t even met yet. These people are both garbage idiots.

# ? Sep 17, 2018 15:29

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

zakharov posted:

3,447 pages in and people still bite when Pick trolls this thread

Look this thread is really great except for this one little thing. I mean really, it's not like we could do any better. In fact, we don't even deserve this thread as it is.

# ? Sep 17, 2018 15:41

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# ? May 25, 2024 03:13

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Milotic posted:

I dread going to my sister in law's wedding, or any wedding for that matter, and I'm not sure if im a terrible person or not.

So three posts: Open relationship, weird dude who can�t relate to women, weddings. That should get us back on track.

it was a noble effort but you need to find a post that mentions, like, olives, so we can get each individual goon's exciting take on whether they enjoy the taste of olives and how they feel about those who disagree

My [20F] Grandfather [70] is racist and an incident involving me has split the family apart for the past year.

quote:

Most people in our family are tolerant, of race and religion. However my grandfather (step-dad's dad) is a white Muslim from Europe and is extremely racist towards Jews. It's been a whole year and we (him and I) haven't spoken since.

Last year, I had a Jewish boyfriend. He doesn't practice but his family does, in fact he sometimes wishes he wasn't Jewish for how much he was bullied in his younger years. Anyway, before Easter I celebrated "Passover" with his family, then he came to Easter with my family. I was a bit worried about my grandfather, but when he met my bf they got along so well. Until he found out my bf was Jewish. He started making moronic comments but my nanna came to the rescue though and said things like "I've been to Israel and it was gorgeous, blah blah where abouts is your family from" - I really appreciate her for saving my bf from that rear end in a top hat.

Fast forward 1 month and I am going away for an OE trip for 7 months, so I have a leaving party. I invited my whole family (obviously also my boyfriend at the time). My granddad emailed me saying this exactly:

"Knowing what Jews are doing in Mid-East saddens me to no end�.

I would really appreciate if you (don`t) invite (boyfriend) to Lunch on Sunday otherwise, I will not be coming."

Surrounded by a bunch of 'loving' stuff like "send me your itinerary, I will miss you so much, will keep watch on your plane journeys etc"

When I got this email I immediately told my parents and my dad - it's his father - he was furious. My parents stopped me from sending a heated email educating my granddad on how racist he is, my bf has no interest in his country's military endeavours, in fact hasn't been there since he was 7 years old. Anyway, all I sent was

"Hi Poppa,

I'm sorry that you feel that way.

Perhaps it would be better that you don't come on Sunday.

I have attached a summary of my itinerary.

Love -(me) "

Since then, I never received a reply, he didn't come on Sunday lol, I never got a merry christmas, happy new year, or happy birthday. My parents think he is disgraceful and haven't seen him since either. He never gave an apology, and in fact EXPECTS ONE FROM US. Saying that he's so sad this has spiralled out of control.

I was away for Christmas, but my Nanna asked if my parents would still come for Christmas if my granddad would be there. My parents said no, so he wasn't invited. They hate that he's hurt me. He always goes on about conspiracy theories and pisses people off with racist politics. But for a year, all family events have now been broken up. My auntie was upset that my parents didn't come to my cousin's birthday either, and said "you know how he is" and "keep it together for the kids" - my cousins are not even kids they are my age. Anyway, my granddad hasn't contacted me in a year, not even to say goodbye. At first I was hurt, but now I don't think he is worth being hurt by. He has never loved me and I don't want him in my life. I'm not even related to him by blood so why should I let this affect me? Also my auntie sees him frequently and she wasn't very kind to me when I was younger, my mum always defended me. I have feel like an outsider often and miss my real family (on the other side of the world). gently caress.

My mum is of the mindset that "he's old, we should make peace with him" and my dad wants to see him in person one on one to sort things out. I don't respect him at all, but our family hasn't been the same since.

Help? How do you see this working out, if at all? Is it worth ME talking to him and being the bigger person? because I really do not want to, but for the sake of my cousins and and grandma and auntie that's how I think it would be fixed. And my cousin actually jokingly blamed me, saying I've got a new boyfriend now so it wasn't even worth it. Then I told her he hasn't actually talked to me in a year, and it was the principle, she was surprised because our family used to meet up like every month. She didn't have a party because it would be split in two and not worth it (but invited me, I'm all good with my cousins btw).

# ? Sep 17, 2018 16:11

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