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FutonForensic

wonka: okay children, you stay out here and keep licking the "flavored" wallpaper like a bunch of dumbasses

*ushers only the adults into the next room*

welcooome tooo the gently caress shooooop


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Dungeon Ecology

i was gonna say wonkas kinky bondage dungeon with like licorice ropes, fruit leather, jawbreaker ballgags...

Gazpacho

by Fluffdaddy
rooftop sacrifice temple with gelatin-plastic windows

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


gift shop full of bubble gum blow up dolls was really off putting but the candy cigarette machines full of real cigarettes was a nice touch


Gazpacho

by Fluffdaddy
a whole stockroom filled with FLDs (fruity licking dildos)

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Slush Garbo

FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK

FutonForensic posted:

wonka: okay children, you stay out here and keep licking the "flavored" wallpaper like a bunch of dumbasses

*ushers only the adults into the next room*

welcooome tooo the gently caress shooooop

Hahaha those aren't real asses on the wall, they're made of taffy, and chocolate comes out!

Dig in.

google THIS

FutonForensic posted:

wonka: okay children, you stay out here and keep licking the "flavored" wallpaper like a bunch of dumbasses

*ushers only the adults into the next room*

welcooome tooo the gently caress shooooop

Charlie sets the Everlasting Gobstopper down on Wonka's desk. After some hesitation, Grandpa Joe sets Big Wang Willy Wonka's Wangarium + "big rear end" + "big ol rear end" down next to it.

alnilam

google THIS posted:

Charlie sets the Everlasting Gobstopper down on Wonka's desk. After some hesitation, Grandpa Joe sets Big Wang Willy Wonka's Wangarium + "big rear end" + "big ol rear end" down next to it.

alnilam

Drink-Mix Man posted:

Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-doo,
I've got a quiz for taking a poo
Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-dee,
If you are wise you'll listen then pee

What do you get when the toilet won't flush?
Bowl overfilled with a putrid brown slush!
Who do you think will snake out the drain?
What will it feel like to explain?

(I don't like the smell of it)

Oompa Loompa do-ba-dee-dar,
Use the john wisely, you will go far.
You will drop a flushable poo
Like the oompa loompa do-ba-dee-doo.

FutonForensic

google THIS posted:

Charlie sets the Everlasting Gobstopper down on Wonka's desk. After some hesitation, Grandpa Joe sets Big Wang Willy Wonka's Wangarium + "big rear end" + "big ol rear end" down next to it.


FutonForensic

[The group is still humming the tune of PURE IMAGINATION as they are led out of the candy garden and through double doors by WONKA. The next room is shrouded in total darkness. WONKA flips a switch, and a spotlight comes on, illuminating a modest diorama of the New York City Skyline in the center of the room. WONKA and two OOMPA LOOMPAs bow their heads and clasp their hands]

WONKA: September 11th. 2001. A day that will never be forgotten.

CHARLIE: no. this is stupid. that hasn't even happened yet. you can't--

[Two OOMPA-LOOMPAs fly in from off-screen in comically small biplanes, crashing into CHARLIE and causing him to collapse. CHARLIE is dead. This kicks off the elaborate and whimsical musical tribute to the heroes of 9/11]


Luvcow

One day nearer spring

google THIS posted:

Charlie sets the Everlasting Gobstopper down on Wonka's desk. After some hesitation, Grandpa Joe sets Big Wang Willy Wonka's Wangarium + "big rear end" + "big ol rear end" down next to it.


FutonForensic posted:

[The group is still humming the tune of PURE IMAGINATION as they are led out of the candy garden and through double doors by WONKA. The next room is shrouded in total darkness. WONKA flips a switch, and a spotlight comes on, illuminating a modest diorama of the New York City Skyline in the center of the room. WONKA and two OOMPA LOOMPAs bow their heads and clasp their hands]

WONKA: September 11th. 2001. A day that will never be forgotten.

CHARLIE: no. this is stupid. that hasn't even happened yet. you can't--

[Two OOMPA-LOOMPAs fly in from off-screen in comically small biplanes, crashing into CHARLIE and causing him to collapse. CHARLIE is dead. This kicks off the elaborate and whimsical musical tribute to the heroes of 9/11]

Moon Atari

The room where they actually make candy: a regular factory floor, lots of stainless steel machinery, an assembly line staffed by regular non oompa-loompa third world labour, OSHA and ISO9000 complaint etc. The type of place where children would receive a traditional mangling rather than a flashy wonka-style punishment that is both representative of and caused by the individual personality flaw that defines them.

alnilam

Moon Atari posted:

The room where they actually make candy: a regular factory floor, lots of stainless steel machinery, an assembly line staffed by regular non oompa-loompa third world labour, OSHA and ISO9000 complaint etc. The type of place where children would receive a traditional mangling rather than a flashy wonka-style punishment that is both representative of and caused by the individual personality flaw that defines them.

they show this part during the opening credits in fact

Moon Atari

alnilam posted:

they show this part during the opening credits in fact

Actually, I think you'll find that the ISO 9000 quality management system wasn't published until 1987, whereas the movie was released in 1971 and the book in 1964. As such they could not possibly have shown a room matching the one I described in my previous post. Therefore my post must be deemed to fulfill the aims of the thread, as stipulated in the title. I shall be accepting no corrections or addendums at this time.

alnilam

Moon Atari posted:

Actually, I think you'll find that the ISO 9000 quality management system wasn't published until 1987, whereas the movie was released in 1971 and the book in 1964. As such they could not possibly have shown a room matching the one I described in my previous post. Therefore my post must be deemed to fulfill the aims of the thread, as stipulated in the title. I shall be accepting no corrections or addendums at this time.

Damb i just got :owned:

Farecoal

There he go

FutonForensic posted:

[The group is still humming the tune of PURE IMAGINATION as they are led out of the candy garden and through double doors by WONKA. The next room is shrouded in total darkness. WONKA flips a switch, and a spotlight comes on, illuminating a modest diorama of the New York City Skyline in the center of the room. WONKA and two OOMPA LOOMPAs bow their heads and clasp their hands]

WONKA: September 11th. 2001. A day that will never be forgotten.

CHARLIE: no. this is stupid. that hasn't even happened yet. you can't--

[Two OOMPA-LOOMPAs fly in from off-screen in comically small biplanes, crashing into CHARLIE and causing him to collapse. CHARLIE is dead. This kicks off the elaborate and whimsical musical tribute to the heroes of 9/11]

canyoneer


I only have canyoneyes for you
Oompa, loompa, doopity dape
Please note the location of the fire escape
Oompa loompa doopity darm
Opening the door will sound the alarm

Twenty Four


The break room full of vegetable platters and unsweetened iced tea.

BIgDevine

Manifisto posted:

you fool, everything in there was edible

everything

Does that mean the Oompa Loompa were edible... even their bones and hair???

IF they are what does their green hair taste of???

Am guessing Toxic Waste SoUr ApPlE

SAGF-913591305139513

Farecoal

There he go
wonderin about the taste of willy wonka’s underwear :pervert:

FutonForensic

Farecoal posted:

wonderin about the taste of willy wonka’s underwear :pervert:

the snozzberries taste like snozzberries


Moon Atari

"Your prize is just up ahead Charlie," Wonka beamed, "a lifetime supply of chocolate all for you". Grinning with gentle pride and patting Charlie on the back, he pointed towards a nondescript door. Happier than he had ever been in his life, Charlie skipped merrily through the door (now held open by a bowing Wonka). He had a moment to wonder what the title on the door meant. "Soylent Candy Production Room".

Abugadu

1st Sgt. Matthews and the men have Procured for me a cummerbund from a traveling gypsy, who screeched Victory shall come at a Terrible price. i am Honored.
"And now..." *opens the next door in the hallway* "...the Hair Room!"

*astonished gasps*

"Look Grandpa, every surface of everything is covered in hair!"

*general laughter and joy as the kids scamper around the chairs, TVs, slides, and other matted surfaces*

"Mr. Wonka..."

"Yes, Grandpa Smith?"

"I can't help but notice there's a scent of green apple throughout the room, I was won-"

"Absolutely correct, but please keep it down."

"What?"

"This was the Jolly Rancher room, everything was made out of them, until the ill-conceived Bring Your Dog To Work Day last week."

alnilam

Abugadu posted:

"And now..." *opens the next door in the hallway* "...the Hair Room!"

*astonished gasps*

"Look Grandpa, every surface of everything is covered in hair!"

*general laughter and joy as the kids scamper around the chairs, TVs, slides, and other matted surfaces*

"Mr. Wonka..."

"Yes, Grandpa Smith?"

"I can't help but notice there's a scent of green apple throughout the room, I was won-"

"Absolutely correct, but please keep it down."

"What?"

"This was the Jolly Rancher room, everything was made out of them, until the ill-conceived Bring Your Dog To Work Day last week."

lol

google THIS

Abugadu posted:

"And now..." *opens the next door in the hallway* "...the Hair Room!"

*astonished gasps*

"Look Grandpa, every surface of everything is covered in hair!"

*general laughter and joy as the kids scamper around the chairs, TVs, slides, and other matted surfaces*

"Mr. Wonka..."

"Yes, Grandpa Smith?"

"I can't help but notice there's a scent of green apple throughout the room, I was won-"

"Absolutely correct, but please keep it down."

"What?"

"This was the Jolly Rancher room, everything was made out of them, until the ill-conceived Bring Your Dog To Work Day last week."

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


Wonka flings open the door to an odd-smelling, cramped, clutter-filled but labyrinthine room

"WELCOOOOME...TO THE ROCK CANDY ROOM"

as your eyes adjust to the dark, you begin to make out the edges of dingy mattresses in the corners, with people crouching and shivering on them as they flick lighters against cracked glass pipes


google THIS

The utility room shared with the adjacent factory owned by Willy's brother Wendell, who makes as whimsical a canned green bean, carrot, and corn medley as is probably possible. Even now you can see Wendell glaring out his office window. He put a ticket in every can. No one showed up.

krampster2

One time a kid found his way into the sewerage and mistook it for something quite different.

kalel

Drink-Mix Man posted:

Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-doo,
I've got a quiz for taking a poo
Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-dee,
If you are wise you'll listen then pee

What do you get when the toilet won't flush?
Bowl overfilled with a putrid brown slush!
Who do you think will snake out the drain?
What will it feel like to explain?

(I don't like the smell of it)

Oompa Loompa do-ba-dee-dar,
Use the john wisely, you will go far.
You will drop a flushable poo
Like the oompa loompa do-ba-dee-doo.

kalel

FutonForensic posted:

[The group is still humming the tune of PURE IMAGINATION as they are led out of the candy garden and through double doors by WONKA. The next room is shrouded in total darkness. WONKA flips a switch, and a spotlight comes on, illuminating a modest diorama of the New York City Skyline in the center of the room. WONKA and two OOMPA LOOMPAs bow their heads and clasp their hands]

WONKA: September 11th. 2001. A day that will never be forgotten.

CHARLIE: no. this is stupid. that hasn't even happened yet. you can't--

[Two OOMPA-LOOMPAs fly in from off-screen in comically small biplanes, crashing into CHARLIE and causing him to collapse. CHARLIE is dead. This kicks off the elaborate and whimsical musical tribute to the heroes of 9/11]

google THIS

Drink-Mix Man posted:

Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-doo,
I've got a quiz for taking a poo
Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-dee,
If you are wise you'll listen then pee

What do you get when the toilet won't flush?
Bowl overfilled with a putrid brown slush!
Who do you think will snake out the drain?
What will it feel like to explain?

(I don't like the smell of it)

Oompa Loompa do-ba-dee-dar,
Use the john wisely, you will go far.
You will drop a flushable poo
Like the oompa loompa do-ba-dee-doo.

Bass singer Oompa Loompa: (glances over the newspaper he's reading on the toilet) DO-BA-DEE-DOO.

alnilam

google THIS posted:

Bass singer Oompa Loompa: (glances over the newspaper he's reading on the toilet) DO-BA-DEE-DOO.

kalel

A miniature version of the factory with all the rooms and candy things and machinery and people. yes, tiny living breathing clones of all the people: wonka, Charlie, Grandpa, the guests, even the already little oompah loompahs. and in that tiny factory is yet another even tinier version of the factory, and inside that is a embarrassing picture of willy wonka at the factory Christmas party

Drink-Mix Man

You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

google THIS posted:

Bass singer Oompa Loompa: (glances over the newspaper he's reading on the toilet) DO-BA-DEE-DOO.

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Farecoal

There he go

SciFiDownBeat posted:

and inside that is a embarrassing picture of willy wonka at the factory Christmas party

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