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OldAlias posted:lol. nope, nothing at all to do with selling machines that wouldn’t run the OS properly At the end of 2008 I once told an obvious secret shopper to please not let his daughter buy a particular laptop, because it was an ugly, grey, Celeron "powered", 1Gb RAM having absolute hunk of poo poo with a dead battery that somebody had gotten Vista to install on. It had been very generously discounted from 300 to 299.95 and had been sitting on the shelf since new. The next week the store manager called us all in early and made us stand for 10 minutes while he berated all of us about some secret shopper results he'd received and about how if we didn't believe in the products we were selling we could "get out." He ended by threatening that if he ever found out who the staff member was he'd fire them on the spot. I'd handed my notice in the day before the shopper came in so all that happened was I felt bad everyone else had been dragged in by this rear end in a top hat on my behalf. Anyway gently caress retail, death to capitalism etc. 
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Sep 25, 2018 13:20
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jammyozzy posted:At the end of 2008 I once told an obvious secret shopper to please not let his daughter buy a particular laptop, because it was an ugly, grey, Celeron "powered", 1Gb RAM having absolute hunk of poo poo with a dead battery that somebody had gotten Vista to install on. It had been very generously discounted from 300 to 299.95 and had been sitting on the shelf since new. i'm curious what made him obvious? did he talk entirely in corporate slogans?
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Sep 25, 2018 13:30
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carry on then posted:i'm curious what made him obvious? did he talk entirely in corporate slogans? Probably the fact the shopper kept asking if they could please speak a little louder and directly into their chest. Boiled Water posted:what happened to "get an older thinkpad and stuff an ssd in it"? Try to convince your non technical SO or mom that the used, scuffed, mushey keyed, boxy, black laptop is a more thoughtful gift than an in-box $200 streambook for travel.
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Sep 25, 2018 15:36
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Generic Monk posted:e2: what are the odds you’re still going to be able to buy a new laptop with a 1366x768 screen in 10 years Suprisingly good since most people can't tell much of a difference, and there are probably entire product lines out there that use recycled LCD panels from e-waste and refurbs.
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Sep 25, 2018 15:38
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carry on then posted:i'm curious what made him obvious? did he talk entirely in corporate slogans? He was having to stop and think before each question, and then each question was really awkward and specific. The biggest tell was that the second thing he asked was about an extended warranty which  no real person is gonna ask about that.I can only assume it was his first day or something because he was really bad at it.
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Sep 25, 2018 16:15
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SYSV Fanfic posted:Suprisingly good since most people can't tell much of a difference, and there are probably entire product lines out there that use recycled LCD panels from e-waste and refurbs. yeah not wrong. I hope they move down the line at least; it's pretty outrageous that you can still buy a £500 laptop with one of those screens and a 5400rpm spinning disk. like if you're the kind of person who just needs a reasonably priced computer and don't want to think about it too much, or even if you're the kind of person who does a cursory glance at the specs they print on the box in pc world, you've likely been buying laptops that have been functionally identical for like 5+ years. at this point the £150 acer and the £500 acer come across as identical except for ram and disk space, and oftentimes the £150 one is actually nicer to use
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Sep 25, 2018 16:27
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SYSV Fanfic posted:Probably the fact the shopper kept asking if they could please speak a little louder and directly into their chest. they’re regularly off lease or whatever on Newegg. I got one and it looks very minorly used. 4 years and going strong with a fresh battery- already had a SSD.
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Sep 25, 2018 22:52
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had a look at task manager for no real reason and all our office poo poo is 32bit lmao. fuckers can't even get that right. hopefully I'll get my goddamn lenovo with ssd in the next couple of months
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Sep 25, 2018 23:55
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eh what? office is 32bit by default for compatibility with plugins, etc. 64bit is a an option, but not common unless you specifically need it.
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Sep 26, 2018 00:47
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Yeah, companies run all kinds of hosed up old macros and ridiculous plugins from 1995, that's why Office defaults to 32 bit.
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Sep 26, 2018 00:49
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the only real use case for 64-bit office is if you need an excel spreadsheet with a billion rows and columns
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Sep 26, 2018 01:01
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anthonypants posted:the only real use case for 64-bit office is if you need an excel spreadsheet with a billion rows and columns Pretty easy to run into this one if you're doing scientific research.
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Sep 26, 2018 01:08
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at which point you should probably not be using excel for your database it's amazing how frequently i have this conversation, usually when they're starting to look at xeons with 64gb of ram to run a spreadsheet
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Sep 26, 2018 01:22
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infernal machines posted:at which point you should probably not be using excel for your database seriously
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Sep 26, 2018 02:50
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infernal machines posted:at which point you should probably not be using excel for your database 1. learn about database 2. talk to computer toucher 3. spend grant money ofc number 3 looks like the best option
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Sep 26, 2018 03:53
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excel should max out at 100 columns and 1000 rows if you need more you need something that isn’t excel
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Sep 26, 2018 04:30
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what do you have in mind that is as easy to use as an excel spreadsheet
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Sep 26, 2018 04:31
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all I know is wandows 10 makes all my usual excel work run like poo poo
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Sep 26, 2018 04:37
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hobbesmaster posted:what do you have in mind that is as easy to use as an excel spreadsheet sql server
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Sep 26, 2018 04:46
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and what do you need to do to say create a pivot table in sql server?
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Sep 26, 2018 04:49
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hire some dipshit who knows sql syntax or google it yourself excel can use sql as a data source
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Sep 26, 2018 05:51
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infernal machines posted:hire some dipshit who knows sql syntax or google it yourself Ah yes, instead of using this tool that works and does what I need, let's hire someone else that doesn't know anything abut the project with money we don't have. Computer touchers thinking they know best how to do everyone's job is always lolworthy.
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Sep 26, 2018 09:10
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39 years since visicalc and somehow nerds have still not realized why the usability it provided was a game-changer (which as a result also marks 39 years of "gah you shouldn't be using <the usable tool> for <task that speaker has no clue about>") e:f;b left the tab open too long before responding, didn't realize this response had already been made Cybernetic Vermin fucked around with this message at 09:26 on Sep 26, 2018 |
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Sep 26, 2018 09:23
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Cybernetic Vermin posted:e:f;b left the tab open too long before responding, didn't realize this response had already been made Wish u would leave all the tabs with your responses open too long but instead of posting would check and realize your “point” had already been made and, as a result, not post.
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Sep 26, 2018 10:04
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hobbesmaster posted:what do you have in mind that is as easy to use as an excel spreadsheet 
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Sep 26, 2018 13:28
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hobbesmaster posted:what do you have in mind that is as easy to use as an excel spreadsheet put your salary payment schedule and whatever in a version of filemaker from last decade imo
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Sep 26, 2018 15:00
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Lambert posted:Ah yes, instead of using this tool that works and does what I need, let's hire someone else that doesn't know anything abut the project with money we don't have. computer touchers telling you not to use the wrong tool for the job is hilarious, because you'll do it anyway and spend at least twice as much on fighting with it afterwards. you want to use a hammer to put in screws because you don't know how to use a screwdriver, that's your business.
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Sep 26, 2018 15:13
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hobbesmaster posted:and what do you need to do to say create a pivot table in sql server? the gently caress is a pivot table?
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Sep 26, 2018 15:15
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graph posted:put your salary payment schedule and whatever in a version of filemaker from last decade imo we had a manufacturing client looking at using filemaker for their production process system. we told them outright, don't do that. it will not scale. they did it anyway and have been buying ever larger and faster servers to try and scale out something that sees diminishing returns on every upgrade
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Sep 26, 2018 15:16
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infernal machines posted:we had a manufacturing client looking at using filemaker for their production process system. we told them outright, don't do that. it will not scale. so, so glad i'm not in IT anymore
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Sep 26, 2018 15:22
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akadajet posted:the gently caress is a pivot table? a miserable pile of hidden cells
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Sep 26, 2018 15:24
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akadajet posted:the gently caress is a pivot table? spreadsheet talk for aggregation, so e.g. select a, count(*), avg(b), min(c) from t group by a so obviously standard functionality in sql, but as expected excel has a lot more tooling and a broader selection of aggregate functions than you get out of the box with standard sql
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Sep 26, 2018 15:25
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it's definitely waaaay easier to get started directly in excel, the problem is when you have huge datasets, excel starts to choke you can still use excel as a front end and pull your data from a sql server, but it takes some setup and planning, and it can be a bit rough if you're trying to retrofit it in, rather than having it setup from the get go. naturally this means everyone just tries to jam gigabytes of data into a spreadsheet and get frustrated when it takes several minutes to even open.
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Sep 26, 2018 15:30
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infernal machines posted:we had a manufacturing client looking at using filemaker for their production process system lol
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Sep 26, 2018 15:37
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excel is the most powerful piece of software on everyones computer.
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Sep 26, 2018 15:38
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infernal machines posted:it's definitely waaaay easier to get started directly in excel, the problem is when you have huge datasets, excel starts to choke there are of course cases where excel is indeed the wrong tool, but it is also way too common for nerds to go on about how it is the wrong tool when it is in fact entirely appropriate, often specifically overlooking (or rather, immediately disrespecting and dismissing) that the users have applicable skills that they do not i think it is a facet of a kind of ego that a lot of programmers have, where every program they would themselves build in their imagination would necessarily be more correct and flexible than anythingt hey have not taken the time to themselves understand. the flexibility of the tool in the hands of a competent user (e.g. administrative personel) seems to them (well, us) an invitation for chaos also, the workflows that outgrow excel will often tend to be stuff that evolves over time, and it is fooling oneself imagining that they could have been designed day 1 into an sql database and code could have been written to perform all the necessary tasks right then (plus of course the code would have taken forever to write and would have been poo poo forever, so you'd need a solution on the side anyway if this is something needed for day-to-day operating)
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Sep 26, 2018 15:51
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graph posted:lol yes. that was our initial reaction too. e: they're not even particularly limited by the db performance either. like, that would be an issue, but their biggest problem is whatever brain genius they hired to design the system built it with filemaker's web forms rather than a custom client, so the entire thing is hamstrung by their lovely-rear end single threaded java implementation instead. it's difficult to describe how poorly considered the entire thing is, and just how much money they've been throwing at hardware to make it even remotely usable infernal machines fucked around with this message at 16:08 on Sep 26, 2018 |
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Sep 26, 2018 15:56
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Cybernetic Vermin posted:there are of course cases where excel is indeed the wrong tool, but it is also way too common for nerds to go on about how it is the wrong tool when it is in fact entirely appropriate, often specifically overlooking (or rather, immediately disrespecting and dismissing) that the users have applicable skills that they do not otoh, if you routinely work with large datasets and you know with some certainty that <project> will involve a large amount of data, you can decide to spend some time/money on implementing a new workflow that will not be bogged down to poo poo by the time you're done. it's possible to do, it's just more work upfront than grabbing your usual templates and dumping poo poo into them.
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Sep 26, 2018 16:00
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custom raspberry pi excel cluster
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Sep 26, 2018 16:40
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Best Bi Geek Squid posted:custom raspberry pi excel cluster an excel server farm would be extremely 2018 microsoft, i'll admit
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Sep 26, 2018 16:42
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