When Footballers Go Feral: big Tom givin a horse a handbeezy

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > When Footballers Go Feral: big Tom givin a horse a handbeezy

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Mickolution: Oct 1, 2005; Ballers...I put numbers on the boards

If he were charged (long way from that, I know) and didn't do a Polanski, would he have to stay in the US until it's sorted?

# ? Oct 3, 2018 10:11

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# ? May 21, 2024 10:56

Gigi Galli: Sep 19, 2003; and then the car turned in to fire

ephex posted:

big ron tryin' to get a handbeezy

Lmao

# ? Oct 3, 2018 11:03

Literally Lewis Hamilton: Feb 22, 2005

Mickolution posted:

If he were charged (long way from that, I know) and didn't do a Polanski, would he have to stay in the US until it's sorted?

Unless he got remanded to custody with no bail or they confiscated his passports (Spanish and Portuguese) as a condition of bail he�d simply post the bail and leave the country. You might even argue he could leave the country without a passport pretty easily on a private jet. I imagine he�d be able to bypass customs back in Spain or Portugal.

# ? Oct 3, 2018 13:39

Mickolution: Oct 1, 2005; Ballers...I put numbers on the boards

big crush on Chad OMG posted:

Unless he got remanded to custody with no bail or they confiscated his passports (Spanish and Portuguese) as a condition of bail he�d simply post the bail and leave the country. You might even argue he could leave the country without a passport pretty easily on a private jet. I imagine he�d be able to bypass customs back in Spain or Portugal.

Yeah, that's what I mean. If charged, would part of the bail agreement not usually be that you can't leave the country? Naturally, for someone like Ronaldo, it would be difficult for them to hide out as he's so recognisable, but if he were just a regular guy, I would have thought they'd want to keep him in the state/country.

# ? Oct 3, 2018 13:43

BWV: Feb 24, 2005

if that's the case then what's the FIFA ruling on playing with an ankle monitor?

# ? Oct 3, 2018 15:02

Zaodai: May 23, 2009; Death before dishonor?
Your terms are accepted.

Mickolution posted:

Yeah, that's what I mean. If charged, would part of the bail agreement not usually be that you can't leave the country? Naturally, for someone like Ronaldo, it would be difficult for them to hide out as he's so recognisable, but if he were just a regular guy, I would have thought they'd want to keep him in the state/country.

If you're skipping bail, you're generally not particular concerned with the terms of the agreement in the first place.

# ? Oct 3, 2018 15:05

peanut-: Feb 17, 2004; Fun Shoe

BWV posted:

if that's the case then what's the FIFA ruling on playing with an ankle monitor?

Big Vards has tested this obviously, fine as long as you don't break curfew.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/leicesters-england-rookie-jamie-vardy-5824505

# ? Oct 3, 2018 15:33

Mickolution: Oct 1, 2005; Ballers...I put numbers on the boards

Zaodai posted:

If you're skipping bail, you're generally not particular concerned with the terms of the agreement in the first place.

True, what I was really wondering is if he would have to stay in the US if charged until sorted one way or the other. What I mean is, would a charge effectively end his career considering that it can take years for something like this to go to trial?

# ? Oct 3, 2018 15:43

Literally Lewis Hamilton: Feb 22, 2005

The chance of him being denied bail is effectively zero.

# ? Oct 3, 2018 15:50

Mickolution: Oct 1, 2005; Ballers...I put numbers on the boards

big crush on Chad OMG posted:

The chance of him being denied bail is effectively zero.

I know that, but on bail, he'd be legally allowed to leave the country, yeah? Or would he be forced to stay (have his passport taken away) until it's sorted?

Or does that only happen if someone is considered a flight risk?

# ? Oct 3, 2018 15:56

Zaodai: May 23, 2009; Death before dishonor?
Your terms are accepted.

Mickolution posted:

I know that, but on bail, he'd be legally allowed to leave the country, yeah? Or would he be forced to stay (have his passport taken away) until it's sorted?

Or does that only happen if someone is considered a flight risk?

Generally if you're considered a flight risk you're denied bail entirely. I think when you're on bail you're supposed to stay within the State it was issued in? Regardless they'd never straight up deny him bail, even knowing he's a flight risk, because if he flees they can avoid the whole trial and say "hey, it's not our fault, he fled the country and the dastardly bastards in Europe won't extradite him. We did everything we could."

# ? Oct 3, 2018 16:01

Mean Bean Machine: May 9, 2008; Only when I breathe.

Nothing's gonna come out of this, just like nothing happened a couple of years ago when this chick popped up the first time and Der Shitgel started reporting on this. Ten years ago she decided to settle whatever this is out of court and got paid a hefty sum for it, now the money has probably run out so she's shopping around the fake story to the highest bidder and the SJWs are eating it right up. No wonder now that the #metoo movement has died out and they need something else to be outraged about. The woman and her lawyers signed a contract ten years ago, now they have decided its null and void (translation: more money please) and are using that as an excuse to violate its terms. Is nothing sacred anymore? Apparently not.
She should be ashamed. And sad that this is how German media has tried to steer the focus away from their WC failure and German players cuddling with foreign dictators, their uncompetitive league that is losing all its viewers, also the rise of the far-right movement in the country. Meanwhile 0 world wars, 0 real world cups and 0 real ballon d'ors, and they're gossiping like women instead of dealing with their very real problems. The next Hitler is right around the corner in that cesspool of a country, and we'll need all the brave men like Ronaldo to bear arms and fight this evil again. I know what side I'll be on.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Oct 3, 2018 16:08

Weaponized Cum: Aug 31, 2004; This post brought to you by the finest Miami cocaine money can buy ----->

Ron liked beer, still likes beer

# ? Oct 3, 2018 16:14

track day bro!: Feb 17, 2005; #essereFerrari; Grimey Drawer

Sounds like this Ronaldo guy is innocent to me after reading MBM's post.

# ? Oct 3, 2018 16:15

CyberPingu: Sep 15, 2013; If you're not striving to improve, you'll end up going backwards.

Mean Bean Machine posted:

Nothing's gonna come out of this, just like nothing happened a couple of years ago when this chick popped up the first time and Der Shitgel started reporting on this. Ten years ago she decided to settle whatever this is out of court and got paid a hefty sum for it, now the money has probably run out so she's shopping around the fake story to the highest bidder and the SJWs are eating it right up. No wonder now that the #metoo movement has died out and they need something else to be outraged about. The woman and her lawyers signed a contract ten years ago, now they have decided its null and void (translation: more money please) and are using that as an excuse to violate its terms. Is nothing sacred anymore? Apparently not.
She should be ashamed. And sad that this is how German media has tried to steer the focus away from their WC failure and German players cuddling with foreign dictators, their uncompetitive league that is losing all its viewers, also the rise of the far-right movement in the country. Meanwhile 0 world wars, 0 real world cups and 0 real ballon d'ors, and they're gossiping like women instead of dealing with their very real problems. The next Hitler is right around the corner in that cesspool of a country, and we'll need all the brave men like Ronaldo to bear arms and fight this evil again. I know what side I'll be on.

Nice meltdown defending your team's rapey former best player.

# ? Oct 3, 2018 16:16

Bogan Krkic: Oct 31, 2010; Swedish style? No.
Yugoslavian style? Of course not.
It has to be Zlatan-style.

Mean Bean Machine posted:

Nothing's gonna come out of this, just like nothing happened a couple of years ago when this chick popped up the first time and Der Shitgel started reporting on this. Ten years ago she decided to settle whatever this is out of court and got paid a hefty sum for it, now the money has probably run out so she's shopping around the fake story to the highest bidder and the SJWs are eating it right up. No wonder now that the #metoo movement has died out and they need something else to be outraged about. The woman and her lawyers signed a contract ten years ago, now they have decided its null and void (translation: more money please) and are using that as an excuse to violate its terms. Is nothing sacred anymore? Apparently not.
She should be ashamed. And sad that this is how German media has tried to steer the focus away from their WC failure and German players cuddling with foreign dictators, their uncompetitive league that is losing all its viewers, also the rise of the far-right movement in the country. Meanwhile 0 world wars, 0 real world cups and 0 real ballon d'ors, and they're gossiping like women instead of dealing with their very real problems. The next Hitler is right around the corner in that cesspool of a country, and we'll need all the brave men like Ronaldo to bear arms and fight this evil again. I know what side I'll be on.

cant argue with whatever good point this post presumably makes

# ? Oct 3, 2018 16:20

greazeball: Feb 4, 2003

Mean Bean Machine posted:

Nothing's gonna come out of this, just like nothing happened a couple of years ago when this chick popped up the first time and Der Shitgel started reporting on this. Ten years ago she decided to settle whatever this is out of court and got paid a hefty sum for it, now the money has probably run out so she's shopping around the fake story to the highest bidder and the SJWs are eating it right up. No wonder now that the #metoo movement has died out and they need something else to be outraged about. The woman and her lawyers signed a contract ten years ago, now they have decided its null and void (translation: more money please) and are using that as an excuse to violate its terms. Is nothing sacred anymore? Apparently not.
She should be ashamed. And sad that this is how German media has tried to steer the focus away from their WC failure and German players cuddling with foreign dictators, their uncompetitive league that is losing all its viewers, also the rise of the far-right movement in the country. Meanwhile 0 world wars, 0 real world cups and 0 real ballon d'ors, and they're gossiping like women instead of dealing with their very real problems. The next Hitler is right around the corner in that cesspool of a country, and we'll need all the brave men like Ronaldo to bear arms and fight this evil again. I know what side I'll be on.

Congrats on making the worst post ever in our cesspool of hate masquerading as a football forum

# ? Oct 3, 2018 16:21

Breath Ray: Nov 19, 2010

track day bro! posted:

Sounds like this Ronaldo guy is innocent to me after reading MBM's post.

I agree with the bits about germany those emission cheating bastards

# ? Oct 3, 2018 16:28

Bape Culture: Sep 13, 2006

Lol

# ? Oct 3, 2018 16:30

Zaodai: May 23, 2009; Death before dishonor?
Your terms are accepted.

So the moral of the story is "If you're going to commit rapes, wait until Germany is distracted by another Hitler so they're too busy to narc on you"? :thunk:

# ? Oct 3, 2018 16:30

ephex: Nov 4, 2007; PHWOAR CRIMINAL

Mean Bean Machine posted:

Nothing's gonna come out of this, just like nothing happened a couple of years ago when this chick popped up the first time and Der Shitgel started reporting on this. Ten years ago she decided to settle whatever this is out of court and got paid a hefty sum for it, now the money has probably run out so she's shopping around the fake story to the highest bidder and the SJWs are eating it right up. No wonder now that the #metoo movement has died out and they need something else to be outraged about. The woman and her lawyers signed a contract ten years ago, now they have decided its null and void (translation: more money please) and are using that as an excuse to violate its terms. Is nothing sacred anymore? Apparently not.
She should be ashamed. And sad that this is how German media has tried to steer the focus away from their WC failure and German players cuddling with foreign dictators, their uncompetitive league that is losing all its viewers, also the rise of the far-right movement in the country. Meanwhile 0 world wars, 0 real world cups and 0 real ballon d'ors, and they're gossiping like women instead of dealing with their very real problems. The next Hitler is right around the corner in that cesspool of a country, and we'll need all the brave men like Ronaldo to bear arms and fight this evil again. I know what side I'll be on.

Senhor, este é um passeio do McDonald's através

# ? Oct 3, 2018 16:44

fridge corn: Apr 2, 2003; NO MERCY, ONLY PAIN

Bape Culture posted:

Lol

# ? Oct 3, 2018 16:49

Breath Ray: Nov 19, 2010

Well you know what they say - os passoros bebem agua

# ? Oct 3, 2018 16:49

RideTheSpiral: Sep 18, 2005; College Slice

greazeball posted:

Congrats on making the worst post ever in our cesspool of hate masquerading as a football forum

what a twist its actually this post

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Oct 3, 2018 17:01

Literally Lewis Hamilton: Feb 22, 2005

ephex posted:

Senhor, este � um passeio do McDonald's atrav�s

# ? Oct 3, 2018 17:02

blue footed boobie: Sep 14, 2012; UEFA SUPREMACY

I can�t believe that Ronald got so desperate for gay sex that he buttraped a woman.

# ? Oct 3, 2018 17:17

Healbot: Jul 7, 2006; very very very fucjable
very vywr very

ephex posted:

Senhor, este é um passeio do McDonald's através

# ? Oct 3, 2018 17:31

Gigi Galli: Sep 19, 2003; and then the car turned in to fire

ephex posted:

Senhor, este � um passeio do McDonald's atrav�s

# ? Oct 3, 2018 17:33

nutri_void: Apr 18, 2015; I shall devour your soul.; Grimey Drawer

Mean Bean Machine posted:

Nothing's gonna come out of this, just like nothing happened a couple of years ago when this chick popped up the first time and Der Shitgel started reporting on this. Ten years ago she decided to settle whatever this is out of court and got paid a hefty sum for it, now the money has probably run out so she's shopping around the fake story to the highest bidder and the SJWs are eating it right up. No wonder now that the #metoo movement has died out and they need something else to be outraged about. The woman and her lawyers signed a contract ten years ago, now they have decided its null and void (translation: more money please) and are using that as an excuse to violate its terms. Is nothing sacred anymore? Apparently not.
She should be ashamed. And sad that this is how German media has tried to steer the focus away from their WC failure and German players cuddling with foreign dictators, their uncompetitive league that is losing all its viewers, also the rise of the far-right movement in the country. Meanwhile 0 world wars, 0 real world cups and 0 real ballon d'ors, and they're gossiping like women instead of dealing with their very real problems. The next Hitler is right around the corner in that cesspool of a country, and we'll need all the brave men like Ronaldo to bear arms and fight this evil again. I know what side I'll be on.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Holy poo poo what a bad post on so many different levels
The only argument that is amiss from this post is that the woman has 0 ballon d'ors and therefore less trustworthy than Ronald

Also

ephex posted:

Senhor, este é um passeio do McDonald's através

# ? Oct 3, 2018 17:50

EAT FASTER!!!!!!: Sep 21, 2002; Legendary.

ephex posted:

Senhor, este é um passeio do McDonald's através

# ? Oct 3, 2018 17:58

Bogan Krkic: Oct 31, 2010; Swedish style? No.
Yugoslavian style? Of course not.
It has to be Zlatan-style.

ephex posted:

Senhor, este é um passeio do McDonald's através

# ? Oct 3, 2018 18:01

track day bro!: Feb 17, 2005; #essereFerrari; Grimey Drawer

ephex posted:

Senhor, este é um passeio do McDonald's através

huehue

# ? Oct 3, 2018 18:12

Karl Sharks: Feb 20, 2008; The Immortal Science of Sharksism-Fininism

when you sign a contract about a crime, it is no longer a crime

i looked it up on wikipedia

# ? Oct 3, 2018 18:16

TheBigAristotle: Feb 8, 2007; I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money.
I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.; Grimey Drawer

https://twitter.com/registability/status/1046753849892110338

:hmmyes:

# ? Oct 3, 2018 18:23

Bogan Krkic: Oct 31, 2010; Swedish style? No.
Yugoslavian style? Of course not.
It has to be Zlatan-style.

TheBigAristotle posted:

https://twitter.com/registability/status/1046753849892110338

Rg is the best football account on twitter

# ? Oct 3, 2018 18:28

Kwagga: Jun 11, 2002; I am small

TheBigAristotle posted:

https://twitter.com/registability/status/1046753849892110338

I don't know what this means

# ? Oct 3, 2018 18:44

Zaodai: May 23, 2009; Death before dishonor?
Your terms are accepted.

Kwagga posted:

I don't know what this means

It means Ronaldo is a natural genius at penetrating defenses, no matter how prepared you think you are to stop him.

# ? Oct 3, 2018 18:49

TheBigAristotle: Feb 8, 2007; I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money.
I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.; Grimey Drawer

Kwagga posted:

I don't know what this means

@registability is a crypto-fascist football twitterer

# ? Oct 3, 2018 18:50

Kwagga: Jun 11, 2002; I am small

Ohh 3 goals and 4 assists jesus christ

# ? Oct 3, 2018 18:59

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# ? May 21, 2024 10:56

African AIDS cum: Feb 29, 2012; Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack

Bogan Krkic posted:

Rg is the best football account on twitter

Thanks

# ? Oct 3, 2018 19:31

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > When Footballers Go Feral: big Tom givin a horse a handbeezy

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