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*gets on stage but everything gets all hazy when i see the crowd* uhhhhhhhhhhhh....the only thing holding you back is.. . *squinting at hand where i wrote my notes but i'm all sweaty and the ink started running* *ringing in ears as i start to panic* the only thing to fear is. . . fear, itself! *crowd begins to murmur* *think, think, what would tony robbins do?* as i look behind me, a big bag of charcoal stares through me. |
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Oct 3, 2018 14:40
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| # ? May 18, 2024 16:41 |
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Motivation as a concept is essentially meaningless. But then, everything else is meaningless as well. Therefore, you might as well be motivated as not. It's not like you can make things worse. Or better. In conclusion, *sigh*
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Oct 3, 2018 15:37
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hockey jockey posted:Motivation as a concept is essentially meaningless. But then, everything else is meaningless as well. Therefore, you might as well be motivated as not. It's not like you can make things worse. Or better. *one of the audience members decides to finally buy that motorcycle, causing a huge rift at home because he told his wife that nothing means anything and that he deserves the motorcycle* ---------------- |
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Oct 3, 2018 16:16
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you may be asking yourself "why are we here?" I know I am. I am confused and frankly rather terrified about the meaning of life, and more specifically about my role in the universe, not to mention what will happen when I'm gone. the important thing when confronting feelings like this is to alternately bottle them up deep inside, letting them paralyze you; then wallow in them, channeling your fear and helplessness into extremely unhealthy and destructive behaviors. let my life be an inspiration to you. *pauses for five minutes, snorts line of cocaine, weeps uncontrollably then suddenly bursts into unhinged laughter* |
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Oct 3, 2018 18:24
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Manifisto posted:you may be asking yourself "why are we here?" I know I am. I am confused and frankly rather terrified about the meaning of life, and more specifically about my role in the universe, not to mention what will happen when I'm gone. the important thing when confronting feelings like this is to alternately bottle them up deep inside, letting them paralyze you; then wallow in them, channeling your fear and helplessness into extremely unhealthy and destructive behaviors. let my life be an inspiration to you. *pauses for five minutes, snorts line of cocaine, weeps uncontrollably then suddenly bursts into unhinged laughter*
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Oct 3, 2018 20:15
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There are THREE core pillars to success: 1) hard work 2) dedication 3) numbness to the uncaring emptiness of the universe and the inexorable march of time are you writing this down people?! |
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Oct 4, 2018 00:12
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Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. Although now that I think about it I guess those numbers do interact, so if like half the stuff that happens to you is utter horseshit, you really only have 45% to work with. So, slightly less than half. Or, nearly half full, am I right? Haha. Whew. I'm going to call for a quick bathroom break, let's say about 10 minutes, meet back here? Cool. *walks backstage, kneels in front of chair, puts head down on it sideways, staring blankly into space* |
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Oct 4, 2018 00:24
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*sitting in my dressing room, rotating 2 Chinese baoding balls to try and calm down as somebody knocks on the door* uh sir, you're going on stage in 5. . . *i turn my chair dramatically and stare at them* why do people listen to me? i don't even listen to myself. i'm not wearing matching socks. sometimes when i'm mowing the lawn, i forget why i'm mowing the lawn. my pants, they are wrinkled, like our brief existence in time. do you hear what i'm saying to you? *sighes* play the Enya track and i'll be right out *assistant slowly closes the door, bewildered, while I open my flask that's full of ether and begin huffing it* ---------------- |
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Oct 4, 2018 03:34
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tedxistential crisis |
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Oct 4, 2018 05:56
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Macnult posted:tedxistential crisis (in steve jobs black turtleneck) to be . . . or not to be. what if I were to tell you there was a way to both be *clicks slide* and not be *clicks another slide*? I would call it a revolution. you can call it the iI.
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Oct 4, 2018 06:15
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*shouting in Tony Robbins trademark scratchy giant voice* Motion creates emotion! Create the emotions you want to experience by moving your body with energy and expressiveness! *lays on couch and lights a spliff* |
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Oct 4, 2018 06:30
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Now there's three basic types of people and I'm going to teach you how you can convince anyone of those types to do anything you want. The first type of people are watchers, they depend heavily on eyesight and seeing things. When they communicate, they use phrases like, "I see you're upset". Or maybe that's just how they've been brought up. Or maybe they don't even say things like that so how would you know. God knows I don't. I just make this up as I go along to be honest. I wanted to be a rock singer. |
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Oct 4, 2018 11:07
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Manifisto posted:(in steve jobs black turtleneck) to be . . . or not to be. what if I were to tell you there was a way to both be *clicks slide* and not be *clicks another slide*? I would call it a revolution. you can call it the iI. lmfao ---------------- |
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Oct 4, 2018 12:36
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Believe in yourself. Because ultimately, that is the only thing you can know exists with any certainty. |
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Oct 4, 2018 13:34
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Manifisto posted:(in steve jobs black turtleneck) to be . . . or not to be. what if I were to tell you there was a way to both be *clicks slide* and not be *clicks another slide*? I would call it a revolution. you can call it the iI. |
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Oct 4, 2018 13:38
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*saying lines verbatim from dragon ball z, like pep talk Goku gives everybody before a big fight or when everybody is dying, hoping nobody notices how little effort i'm putting in*
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Oct 4, 2018 14:10
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Over the next 15 minutes I will show you how to be the best you possible! *sighs in to mic for 15 minutes* Thank you, I'll be here until I'm not. I guess you will be too. Good luck or whatever. *curls up on the stage and starts sobbing* |
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Oct 5, 2018 00:00
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i've been teaching kids how to sit on chairs incorrectly my whole life |
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Oct 5, 2018 05:50
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Give it enough time and the sun will eventually explode and scour the Earth of all evidence we were ever here. So I guess like follow your dreams or something. Don't worry about being rich or famous or whatever because it won't last. Just like... ...nevermind, nothing matters, I'm taking a nap. Let's just take a nap the rest of the time. That seems good right now. artoke posted:Thank you, I'll be here until I'm not. I have no idea why but this is one of my favorite sentences ever written. I'm sewage flavored. |
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Oct 5, 2018 10:53
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I just don't know if I can do it anymore. I mean, I guess the people in the crowd are getting something out of it. I just don't have the passion that I used to. Everything just seems so empty and meaningless. Sir, this is a Denny's. I can't help with that but I can get you some food. Yeah, ok. I'll have just..... whatever. Just put a plate of eggs out back by the dumpsters so I can roll around in them like the filth I am. |
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Oct 5, 2018 14:28
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There are three kinds of people out there: 1) Complainers, 2) Doers, and 3) Watchers of the void. |
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Oct 5, 2018 14:38
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Handing out three-ring binders full of course materials, but every page says: Your choices are consumed by death. |
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Oct 5, 2018 14:39
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"Authenticity is not the same as goodness or naturalness. To treat authenticity as a moral concept or as a natural fact is, at best, confusion and, at worst, conscious denial of the human condition. To be human is to appear in the midst of circumstances - to arrive late to the party, as it were - and yet to find oneself responsible for managing these circumstances as best one can. Do not imagine that your 'mind' or your 'body' are purely yours apart from the double bind of arriving late and being responsible. I indulge in scare-quotes, because the human animal is always a being in a body and a being possessed of a body; You are not a pure body nor are you a pure mind and not even an awkward union of the two. A human is always a self-aware body and an awareness active through a body. The body-awareness is a circumstance just given by the world. Some chance confluence of genes and chemistry bring forth a human the same way historical forces bring forth the historical situation around you and just as cultural forces bring forth the mores of your time and place. In short, you yourself are part of the circumstances - a mere fact of the world - and yet you are fully responsible for the care and use of this circumstance as though you had willed it into existence. Authenticity is not a return to some inner innocent or some original purity of purpose. You are not innocent. You are not guilty either but you are not innocent. You have no original purpose. More correctly, the facts of your origin do not determine what purpose you may adopt. As soon as you appear in the world others will assign purposes to you and you will find yourself by mere circumstance better equipped for one task or another. Still, these purposes are not facts baked into your being and they are not an inner destiny which you must fulfill. To be authentic is first and foremost a matter of awareness, then a matter of will, and in its fullest form a matter of habit. The first stage of authenticity is nothing other than acknowledging that you are an appearance in the world - a mere event - and at the same time you are responsible for the use of this event. The first stage means accepting that you do not have meaning merely by being, but that meaning is assigned to you by yourself and by others. The second stage is an exercise of will in response to that awareness. Having heard the call to make use of yourself, you consciously take up the management of yourself (which may not entail any change of behavior since one could decide the customary offerings were wise after all) or you do your utmost to deny your self-managment. If you choose self-management even by reaffirming your existing life, then you are willing authentically. If you deny that you must choose and insist that some other force has already decided what you must be or what meaning you have, then you will inauthentically. Inauthentically because you commit yourself to a denial of your power to commit yourself. At last, having accepted that you direct yourself, you can either turn your commitments into real habits and thereby compose your life out of the actions that you intend, or you act inauthentically by willing one thing and making a habit of something else. Authenticity is not a moral concept in the sense of right and wrong. A pirate might be entirely authentic while a just man may be entirely inauthentic. Many a person has been saved from evil by their utter inauthenticity and I am not sure that they or anyone else would benefit from a change. Perhaps some people are better off not accepting that they are responsible for themselves. Indeed, some otherwise fine and productive people would be crushed if they could not lie to themselves and say that their greatness was pre-ordained or that their creativity was a gift of some muse. Nonetheless, such people live their lives as though they were something they are not. They live their lives as though god or nature or science compel them to do what they do and by pushing responsibility out of themselves these people mar their humanity. " Don in HR claps nervously, "Thanks everybody for coming out to our Team Talk: Pep For People. Don't forget to get a button from Carla in the back and there are sandwiches outside. No time for questions." |
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Oct 5, 2018 15:01
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 Purity of heart is to will one thing. Today I will.....*stares off into the distance* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ovdpWmvJYw |
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Oct 5, 2018 15:16
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artoke posted:
Sorry if i got a little carried away. This is a good tune, thank you for sharing it. |
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Oct 5, 2018 15:32
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ShinyBirdTeeth posted:Sorry if i got a little carried away. This is a good tune, thank you for sharing it. Krill is pretty rad, the whole Exploding in Sound label is as well. That was a good post, just reminded me of the song so I had to reply. |
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Oct 5, 2018 15:38
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ofcourseyoufeelaloneandsmallweallfeelaloneandsmallbutsometimeswecanconnectwithanotherhumanbeingandforatimenotfeelalonebutthenwedriftapartagainandweareagainaloneandthusthecyclecontinuesbutImeanwhydoIbother*oozesintoacrackintheflooranddisappears**
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Oct 5, 2018 16:30
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please clap |
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Oct 5, 2018 17:47
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artoke posted:Over the next 15 minutes I will show you how to be the best you possible! Stewart Lee is going to sue you for stealing his material.
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Oct 5, 2018 18:20
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Dungeon Ecology posted:please clap
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Oct 5, 2018 20:27
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Dungeon Ecology posted:please clap |
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Oct 5, 2018 21:00
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Dungeon Ecology posted:please clap hockey jockey posted:Stewart Lee is going to sue you for stealing his material. Oh dang, I've never heard of this guy but I don't want to be a theif 
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Oct 5, 2018 22:28
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He will probably be too miserable to bother suing you really! I think I was thinking of this clip https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d61M0manQ1c
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Oct 6, 2018 08:33
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Anything is possible! Anyth--*pupils dilate, as if becoming portals wide enough to let the inky cosmos bleed through*--anything is possible
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Oct 7, 2018 01:38
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Genghis Khan created the largest empire in the history of humanity in a single lifetime! It took a lot of... ...but it also fell apart and was only a small percentage of this planet's surface, which is a tiny, irrelevant speck among the cosmos. He didn't do it alone but he got all the credit. Really everybody else involved did almost all the actual work. Sorry folks, I need to lie down. I'm sewage flavored. |
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Oct 7, 2018 11:10
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| # ? May 18, 2024 16:41 |
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ferroque posted:i've been teaching kids how to sit on chairs incorrectly my whole life |
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Oct 7, 2018 19:28
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