Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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Cubone: Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

The pussycat's alive tonight
But what's new with it, is not unusual
I'm sittin' down here in the campfire light
With the ghost of ol' Tom Jones

# ? Oct 12, 2018 19:59

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# ? May 12, 2024 14:30

FactsAreUseless

Cubone posted:

David Attenborough but he keeps talking about how delicious all the animals probably are

This is just Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern.

# ? Oct 12, 2018 23:23

got any sevens: by Cyrano4747

during rush hour the bus ten minutes behind another catches up to it and tries to pass the lead one and the passengers in each jeer out the windows at each other and one guy even moons the other bus

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# ? Oct 14, 2018 05:52

Dungeon Ecology

savory flavors for vape pens like nachos or sloppy joes

# ? Oct 14, 2018 07:29

Dungeon Ecology

and who was sloppy joe anyway? like whats his origin story?

# ? Oct 14, 2018 07:31

got any sevens: by Cyrano4747

Dungeon Ecology posted:

savory flavors for vape pens like nachos or sloppy joes

mesquite jerky flavor
teriyaki chicken

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# ? Oct 14, 2018 08:19

joke_explainer

Dungeon Ecology posted:

steampunk hamlet

SCENE I.
Steam Elsinore. A steam platform before the gear castle.
FRANCISCO at his steam post. Enter to him STEAM BERNARDO.

# ? Oct 14, 2018 08:35

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

"This is violence," i yell at the skim milk that I thought was whole.

# ? Oct 14, 2018 21:23

Papa Was A Video Toaster

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

"This is violence," i yell at the skim milk that I thought was whole.

is that cause you think you're fat? because you're not. you could drink whole if you wanted to.

# ? Oct 14, 2018 21:30

Dick Bastardly: Muttley is SKYNET!!!

It's OK to whole your hole

Awesome winter sig by Symbolic, love it!

Lovely sig by the masterful Matoi Ryuko, thanks!

# ? Oct 14, 2018 21:32

FactsAreUseless

Judo Jetson

# ? Oct 15, 2018 00:06

Twenty Four

The "Gig Economy" grinds to a halt as it is replaced with the "Jig Economy", wherein dancing is considered legal tender.

# ? Oct 18, 2018 04:15

FactsAreUseless

Twenty Four posted:

The "Gig Economy" grinds to a halt as it is replaced with the "Jig Economy", wherein dancing is considered legal tender.

This is just legalized sex work

# ? Oct 18, 2018 04:21

TheShrike: You mechs may have copper wiring to re-route your fear of pain, but I've got nerves of steel.

2FA on:

somethingawful
home network
car
when you're dying and need to use medical resources but 2fa first
electric toothbrush

# ? Oct 18, 2018 04:56

FactsAreUseless

Kontradaz posted:

2FA on:

somethingawful
home network
car
when you're dying and need to use medical resources but 2fa first
electric toothbrush

what

# ? Oct 18, 2018 04:58

Manifisto

Kontradaz posted:

2FA on:

somethingawful
home network
car
when you're dying and need to use medical resources but 2fa first
electric toothbrush

lol

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Oct 18, 2018 05:30

Twenty Four

FactsAreUseless posted:

This is just legalized sex work

and? also probably only sometimes.

# ? Oct 18, 2018 07:15

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

A mayonaise-based condiment for hotdogs called Wiener Sauce.

# ? Oct 18, 2018 23:59

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

A homemade fudge making kit called Mother's Fudger

# ? Oct 19, 2018 00:00

FactsAreUseless

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

A mayonaise-based condiment for hotdogs called Wiener Sauce.

A Nickelodeon-style slime toy called Man Semen From The Prostate

# ? Oct 19, 2018 00:03

ghost emoji: oooOooOOOooh

Kontradaz posted:

2FA on:

somethingawful
home network
car
when you're dying and need to use medical resources but 2fa first
electric toothbrush

i used to work at a place that used 2FA on everything from email to timesheets but it was all linked to the boss�s cell phone, so if he was in a meeting or taking a dump, you were screwed

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# ? Oct 19, 2018 00:21

FactsAreUseless

ghost emoji posted:

i used to work at a place that used 2FA on everything from email to timesheets but it was all linked to the boss�s cell phone, so if he was in a meeting or taking a dump, you were screwed

What is 2FA

# ? Oct 19, 2018 00:21

Farecoal: There he go

2 Females, Asexual

# ? Oct 19, 2018 00:26

The X-man cometh

2-factor authentication, which is useful but not all the dang time.

# ? Oct 19, 2018 00:26

Dick Bastardly: Muttley is SKYNET!!!

my boss put a bio-metric lock on the work fridge to combat inter-office food thefts

Awesome winter sig by Symbolic, love it!

Lovely sig by the masterful Matoi Ryuko, thanks!

# ? Oct 19, 2018 01:10

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

FactsAreUseless posted:

A Nickelodeon-style slime toy called Man Semen From The Prostate

More products should be superliminally advertised.

# ? Oct 19, 2018 01:11

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

This is a true thing. I came into work this morning and saw someone had put a flyer for food addicts anonymous on the fridge in the breakroom. That seemed not great to me.

# ? Oct 19, 2018 01:21

got any sevens: by Cyrano4747

every time i see girls with those pre-ripped jeans i wanna ask if they were in a fight

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# ? Oct 19, 2018 04:45

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

New Business Venture: Adult papooses. Very burly people wearing a specially reinforced papoose will carry you about town in a very soothing manner. Practical travel AND the pampering you deserve.

# ? Oct 19, 2018 23:40

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Scalp buffing for the underpolished bald guys.

# ? Oct 19, 2018 23:40

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

A salon for chest hair called Burt's Best. Every location has Burt Reynolds memorabilia.

# ? Oct 19, 2018 23:42

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Exercise surrogates. For fifty dollars I'll go on a jog for you.

# ? Oct 19, 2018 23:42

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Weed pairings for the discerning Tokester. The downside of weed being legal now is that all the rich people are gonna flaunt it in strange ways and I'm going to sell them purified, vitamized bong water.

# ? Oct 19, 2018 23:45

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Shame Magnet. Have you ever worried that you'll be looked down on at a family gathering? For a non-trivial sum of money, I will make a scene at your Wedding/Bar Mitzvah/Funeral or other public assemblage such that no further shame will be left to spill onto you.

# ? Oct 19, 2018 23:47

got any sevens: by Cyrano4747

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

Weed pairings for the discerning Tokester. The downside of weed being legal now is that all the rich people are gonna flaunt it in strange ways and I'm going to sell them purified, vitamized bong water.

this is basically already happening lol

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# ? Oct 20, 2018 00:23

sebmojo: Legit Cyberpunk

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

what do you call a joke with no punchline

# ? Oct 20, 2018 04:52

Twenty Four

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

Shame Magnet. Have you ever worried that you'll be looked down on at a family gathering? For a non-trivial sum of money, I will make a scene at your Wedding/Bar Mitzvah/Funeral or other public assemblage such that no further shame will be left to spill onto you.

if people could somehow retroactively purchase this service you would be making so much bank

# ? Oct 20, 2018 06:51

bird.

me, watching a scifi about the year 2250 AD: "all of humanity isn't living in antarctica? faaaaaaake."

# ? Oct 20, 2018 21:24

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

BrownianMotion posted:

me, watching a scifi about the year 2250 AD: "all of humanity isn't living in antarctica? faaaaaaake."

The gently caress is a "penguin?"

# ? Oct 20, 2018 23:03

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# ? May 12, 2024 14:30

FactsAreUseless

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

The gently caress is a "penguin?"

Pan guan
Penghan
Penngwenn
Pengueen
Pendjinn

# ? Oct 21, 2018 01:22

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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