Bad With Money 2018: When I die, bury me in the blockchain.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Bad With Money 2018: When I die, bury me in the blockchain.

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Vox Nihili: May 28, 2008

UCS Hellmaker posted:

https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/9np242/bank_closing_all_my_accounts/

All of his other posts are darkweb and drug related along with one about selling credit card numbers, bring your popcorn

He deserves a supercar more than 99.99% of the 50 y/os that actually "earned" one.

# ? Oct 13, 2018 09:56

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# ? May 30, 2024 10:08

Krispy Wafer: Jul 26, 2002; I shouted out "Free the exposed 67"
But they stood on my hair and told me I was fat; Grimey Drawer

I'm going to self post here because this is horrible. When the weather starts to get cold we get these huge palmetto bugs in our house and I have a terrible phobia of them. I want to move to New England and pay New England taxes primarily to avoid those bugs. They don't live indoors and die within a couple of days, but I can't stand them.

Last night our oven started going batshit insane. Like it was on 450 baking a cake and then it switched to broiler mode. My wife's looking at it and one of those palmetto bugs has somehow gotten into the control panel and is messing with the touch surface as it walks around. It dies about half a hour later but you can see it inside the display. It's the grossest thing ever and I can't even get near the oven.

I'm already shopping around for a new oven. Maybe a repairman can get in there and shake it out. A bug could cost me like $1500. This is so BWM.

Krispy Wafer fucked around with this message at 13:44 on Oct 13, 2018

# ? Oct 13, 2018 13:40

Sirotan: Oct 17, 2006; Sirotan is a seal.

Krispy Wafer posted:

I'm going to self post here because this is horrible. When the weather starts to get cold we get these huge palmetto bugs in our house and I have a terrible phobia of them. I want to move to New England and pay New England taxes primarily to avoid those bugs. They don't live indoors and die within a couple of days, but I can't stand them.

Last night our oven started going batshit insane. Like it was on 450 baking a cake and then it switched to broiler mode. My wife's looking at it and one of those palmetto bugs has somehow gotten into the control panel and is messing with the touch surface as it walks around. It dies about half a hour later but you can see it inside the display. It's the grossest thing ever and I can't even get near the oven.

I'm already shopping around for a new oven. Maybe a repairman can get in there and shake it out. A bug could cost me like $1500. This is so BWM.

Depending on the model, you should be able to replace just the display. Check out https://www.repairclinic.com they have parts for literally everything, and how-to videos so you can probably even replace it yourself. Repair Clinic is very GWM.

# ? Oct 13, 2018 14:12

Virigoth: Apr 28, 2009; Corona rules everything around me
C.R.E.A.M. get the virus
In the ICU y'all......

Krispy Wafer posted:

I'm going to self post here because this is horrible. When the weather starts to get cold we get these huge palmetto bugs in our house and I have a terrible phobia of them. I want to move to New England and pay New England taxes primarily to avoid those bugs. They don't live indoors and die within a couple of days, but I can't stand them.

Last night our oven started going batshit insane. Like it was on 450 baking a cake and then it switched to broiler mode. My wife's looking at it and one of those palmetto bugs has somehow gotten into the control panel and is messing with the touch surface as it walks around. It dies about half a hour later but you can see it inside the display. It's the grossest thing ever and I can't even get near the oven.

I'm already shopping around for a new oven. Maybe a repairman can get in there and shake it out. A bug could cost me like $1500. This is so BWM.

After a quick google I think you mean Florida man roach and that�s a big lol

# ? Oct 13, 2018 14:13

THF13: Sep 26, 2007; Keep an adversary in the dark about what you're capable of, and he has to assume the worst.

Jack2142 posted:

Fair enough, still feels odd to me for a general checking account to go with that, but I haven't had any real need to move from my account with a credit union, so I haven't looked in to alternatives.

When you sign up for the Schwab checking account they also open a brokerage account to go with it. They basically offer an extremely nice free checking account as a hook, hoping that some percentage will use the brokerage account to buy stocks through them.

# ? Oct 13, 2018 14:50

Oil!: Nov 5, 2008; Der's e'rl in dem der hills!; Ham Wrangler

Krispy Wafer posted:

I'm going to self post here because this is horrible. When the weather starts to get cold we get these huge palmetto bugs in our house and I have a terrible phobia of them. I want to move to New England and pay New England taxes primarily to avoid those bugs. They don't live indoors and die within a couple of days, but I can't stand them.

Last night our oven started going batshit insane. Like it was on 450 baking a cake and then it switched to broiler mode. My wife's looking at it and one of those palmetto bugs has somehow gotten into the control panel and is messing with the touch surface as it walks around. It dies about half a hour later but you can see it inside the display. It's the grossest thing ever and I can't even get near the oven.

I'm already shopping around for a new oven. Maybe a repairman can get in there and shake it out. A bug could cost me like $1500. This is so BWM.

Just get cats or dogs (BWM ones) that eat them.

# ? Oct 13, 2018 14:53

Krispy Wafer: Jul 26, 2002; I shouted out "Free the exposed 67"
But they stood on my hair and told me I was fat; Grimey Drawer

Thanks for the advice. I'll probably let a repairman take care of it because I seriously can't even be near that thing right now. Heights don't bother me, spiders are cool, snakes are cute, but holy poo poo those bugs freak me out. When I was young and poor I lived in a roach infested house and it broke my brain.

THF13 posted:

When you sign up for the Schwab checking account they also open a brokerage account to go with it. They basically offer an extremely nice free checking account as a hook, hoping that some percentage will use the brokerage account to buy stocks through them.

Yeah, Schwab is supposed to be really good for checking. They got in trouble in 2007 like a lot of brokerage/investment companies, but I'm not sure if that's when they started offering checking services. Several big brokerage firms and lenders became banks during the Great Recession because that's how they'd qualify for TARP help. I don't think anyone ever used the Goldman Sach Bank to pay their water bills, but Schwab and Ally were two 'good' banks that emerged from the bailouts.

# ? Oct 13, 2018 15:11

Lockback: Sep 3, 2006; All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.

I'm sharing this post as a public service announcement to not, uh, fall for an obvious scam that was poorly executed.

https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/9nqwld/i_gave_a_fraudulent_check_worth_8700_to_the_bank/

quote:

This is long so I'd appreciate if you'd stay to the end. I am 18 and live in Canada.

A few weeks ago one of my friends (T) asked me if I could help him with someone. He needed me to cash a check because for some reason he wasn't able to cash it himself. He told me that one of his friends would pick me up and we would go to the ATM at my bank (which was a 2 min drive from my house) and that he would explain everything. "The whole thing with take like 20 mins". In exchange for that he would give me a google home mini for free. I was skeptical and wasn't sure if I should trust him. I asked another one of my friends what I should do and he tells me to be "straight up with him and ask him 'yo, you're my boy, is this some illegal poo poo?'" And so I asked and he told me it wasnt and that he had done this before with no problems. I was so foolish.

So a week later on Friday his friend picks me up from my house. I get in the car and there are 2 people. I thought oh ok, he's probably just tagging along and leaving later but instead of us going to the nearby bank they tell me that we are going to a bank that is a 40 min drive from my home. I should've said no. I should've told them to stop the car. But I didn't and thought oh well. BTW they were not threatening me in any way. They seemed kind of dumb (ironic) but they were nice, and I fell for it.

I asked to see the check and they pull out the check and receipt from a different bank to the one I am with. The check was worth $8700. I thought it had to be a legit check because they had a receipt with it. I am not really familiar with how checks work so I just took their word that it was real and thought nothing further of it.

So anyway as we were driving they explain to me what I needed to do: Go into the bank and ask to deposit the check. Since there is a 5 day holding period for checks once deposited they tell me to explain to the teller that I need a bit of the money now. "Tell her you need $3200 for example" They then tell me that one of their other friends works at the bank that the check was from and he will verify the check once the branch sends a fax to verify the check. They said that the most important thing is that I make sure that the teller faxes the check. if the teller asked what the check was from I was to say that it was a personal settlement. I don't know why I went along with it. They kept feeding me bullshit but I just went with it.

So after a long car ride. We get to the bank. They drop me off and they tell me if I know what I'm doing and to make sure the teller faxes the check. I get in and everything goes alright but then I had some problems. After I tell her(the teller) that I need some of the money from the check she asks why since I already have 9k saved up in my account. (Why would someone with that much money already in the account need a cash withdrawal from the check they are trying to deposit?) I don't know why I hadn't considered that the second I saw that the check was over $8k The teller excuses herself and goes to talk with her superior. She comes back and tells me that I will have to wait the 5 business days before the money from my check goes from out of holding to my account. I come back out and tell the other 2 that they'll have to wait and they look disappointed and keep asking if the teller faxed the check. "Did she tell you?" "Did you see her do it?" To be completely honest I wasn't sure. When i asked the teller that she could verify it, she said that she would. At that point i assume the only thing she did was go to her boss and talk with her about the huge sum of money some kid wanted to deposit.

The 2 then said that before we go they would talk with their other friend. The friend who originally created the check and needed me to withdrawn money from it. It was here where i told them that I had 9k in my account already which was why the check may not have been verified. We waited 30 mins with no response from the mystery guy. After telling them that I really needed to get home they finally agreed to go.

On the way back they asked if I could withdraw $4350 from my account and then the other half after the money was released from hold. For some stupid loving reason I agreed to this because I thought that everything was legit and that I would get the rest of it later anyway. So we stop at the near by bank close to my house. I withdraw $4350 in cash and just loving hand it over to them without thinking at all. We stop in front of my house and before I go one of them says to me, "Can I trust you not to touch the money until we have the rest of it? Ill call you in a weeks time"

"Of course you can trust me", I responded.

It has been a week and my account has been locked and it says on my banking app that the check has been returned -$8700. I have to contact the branch to fix the lock.

I'm not sure what to do and I need help. What are my options and who can I talk to? Any guidance is appreciated.

TL;DR: Friend asks to cash a check for him. I go to a bank in the middle of nowhere to drop it. The 2 people I go with ask for $4350 (half of the money) in cash since in 5 days I'd have the money from the check go from holding to into my account. A week later my banking app says the check is returned (-$8700) and they are gone with my money. I know, I am so stupid and foolish to trust 2 random strangers

I should've been more clear but there are 5 people total involved with this: Myself, My friend T who originally approached me to do this, the 2 guys in the car, and a fourth mystery guy who T needed to give the money to. I was used as a proxy. However at the time I did not realize this

Edit: First paragraph I wrote that he told me it was illegal. He told me it was completely legal and that he had done it before

Edit 2: I did not know the check was fraudulent. I put that in the title because I now know it was. At the time I thought everything was legit.

# ? Oct 13, 2018 15:36

Spring Heeled Jack: Feb 25, 2007; If you can read this you can read

I don�t think I�ve ever seen someone ignore so many red flags at once.

# ? Oct 13, 2018 15:42

Dik Hz: Feb 22, 2004; Fun with Science

Krispy Wafer posted:

Thanks for the advice. I'll probably let a repairman take care of it because I seriously can't even be near that thing right now. Heights don't bother me, spiders are cool, snakes are cute, but holy poo poo those bugs freak me out. When I was young and poor I lived in a roach infested house and it broke my brain.

This is off-topic, but if you have a specific behavior (freaking out at roaches) you want to short circuit, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy works for a lot of people.

# ? Oct 13, 2018 16:21

Volmarias: Dec 31, 2002; EMAIL... THE INTERNET... SEARCH ENGINES...

Also, moving out of Florida before climate change renders your home unsalable helps.

# ? Oct 13, 2018 16:34

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

Nothing wrong with being afraid of gigantic hideous monster bugs, imho

# ? Oct 13, 2018 17:19

neonbregna: Aug 20, 2007

Ashcans posted:

Hahah, this guy is great:

He isn't exactly wrong - it's just that 'moving on' is going to mean 'finding someone who will take a cash payment up front', instead of just giving you the benefits of a loan without any of the normal requirements or diligence. I'm sure an earnest talk with a lender will help them see the lie underpinning their entire model.

Their latest post is about getting started in buttcoins

# ? Oct 13, 2018 17:24

Lowness 72: Jul 19, 2006; BUTTS LOL; Jade Ear Joe

Spring Heeled Jack posted:

I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone ignore so many red flags at once.

Hey man can you give me $4300? Thanks

# ? Oct 13, 2018 18:57

Hoodwinker: Nov 7, 2005

For the thread's perusal: every post on this site is BWM - 11 Foot 8.

# ? Oct 13, 2018 19:33

Verus: Jun 3, 2011; AUT INVENIAM VIAM AUT FACIAM

THF13 posted:

When you sign up for the Schwab checking account they also open a brokerage account to go with it. They basically offer an extremely nice free checking account as a hook, hoping that some percentage will use the brokerage account to buy stocks through them.

They also give you 100 dollars for free, which was nice for me because they're the only brokerage my employer lets me use. (The link says it's a referral; it's not. It just says that for some reason.)

# ? Oct 13, 2018 21:56

Nocheez: Sep 5, 2000; Can you spare a little cheddar?; Nap Ghost

GoGoGadgetChris posted:

Nothing wrong with being afraid of gigantic hideous monster bugs, imho

They're really not that bad, besides being ugly. I get one every other month or so, but usually only after extreme rain events like hurricane Florence.

The ones you don't want are the little German cockroaches. Those disgusting fuckers infest and multiply like mad. They give me the heebie-jeebies.

# ? Oct 13, 2018 22:38

Lockback: Sep 3, 2006; All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.

Sometimes the posts are so efficient they are like BWM Haikus

https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/9nx1dp/i_am_in_about_40k_worth_of_debt_from_stock_trading/

I am in about 40k worth of debt from stock trading

quote:

So, I've never had a job buy but I had 350k at the highest all-time-high in my stock trading account. Recently this last 2 weeks I wrote naked puts for AMZN and now owe 40k to my broker.

I'm 22 and I am about to graduate college. Can someone who is familiar with or was in the same situation help me? My broker hasn't called me yet.

Income: $0/mo
Expenses:
Rent: $800
Debt: $40k
Gas/Electric: $50
Cell: $80
Food/Groceries: $150
Cable: $50

Total Expenses: $40k+

(This one is more fishy than I like to post, but I liked the simplicity)

# ? Oct 13, 2018 22:39

Harry: Jun 13, 2003; I do solemnly swear that in the year 2015 I will theorycraft my wallet as well as my WoW

100% chance it's a WSB troll

# ? Oct 14, 2018 02:29

TraderStav: May 19, 2006; It feels like I was standing my entire life and I just sat down

Sirotan posted:

Depending on the model, you should be able to replace just the display. Check out https://www.repairclinic.com they have parts for literally everything, and how-to videos so you can probably even replace it yourself. Repair Clinic is very GWM.

The day that I realized repairclinic was 30 minutes from my house, on my morning commute route, open 364 days a year, and had wicked good hours was an amazing day. I love that place and the people are really cool that work there.

I have bought/returned items several times in a weekend while troubleshooting and not having to wait for shipping back and forth.

GWM and GWL

# ? Oct 14, 2018 04:52

FAUXTON: Jun 2, 2005; spero che tu stia bene

Lockback posted:

I'm sharing this post as a public service announcement to not, uh, fall for an obvious scam that was poorly executed.

https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/9nqwld/i_gave_a_fraudulent_check_worth_8700_to_the_bank/

offering online-opening checking accounts with mobile deposit available immediately is something that seems incredibly BWM for a bank to do (like, allowing cardholders on the san bernardino-north hollywood-thousand oaks axis of fraud to post expedited ACH payments, $4MM losses per month level BWM) but somehow they make money despite losing like a grand on each of maybe 1% of their accounts.

# ? Oct 14, 2018 09:08

Cassius Belli: May 22, 2010; horny is prohibited

FAUXTON posted:

offering online-opening checking accounts with mobile deposit available immediately is something that seems incredibly BWM for a bank to do (like, allowing cardholders on the san bernardino-north hollywood-thousand oaks axis of fraud to post expedited ACH payments, $4MM losses per month level BWM) but somehow they make money despite losing like a grand on each of maybe 1% of their accounts.

What's going on in that part of the country particularly?

# ? Oct 14, 2018 14:17

Fitzy Fitz: May 14, 2005

Thanatosian posted:

Spoken like someone who's never worked retail or service industry.

I'm not working 60-hour weeks; I get a lunch, and I'm just assuming that I'll need an hour to get from my current job to my second job or from my second job to my current job; the physical laws of the universe are a thing.

I don't have a car. Retail and fast food basically require your schedule to be close to infinitely flexible in order to hire you even for part-time work; they will absolutely not give you a regular schedule, let alone schedule around your requests. What work-at-home tech support can you do when you can't work daylight hours during the week? Like, name the company that's hiring for that.

OK

I worked retail and service jobs for 10 years while I balanced school and second jobs. During that time many of my coworkers had second jobs like bartender, night janitor, and evening tech support.

If you don't believe me that's fine, but tons of people are out there doing it to make ends meet.

e: I'll add again that I'm not saying it's easy or good. It's just better than the payday loan plan that guy ended up stuck in.

Fitzy Fitz fucked around with this message at 15:51 on Oct 14, 2018

# ? Oct 14, 2018 15:47

Krispy Wafer: Jul 26, 2002; I shouted out "Free the exposed 67"
But they stood on my hair and told me I was fat; Grimey Drawer

Okay, good news someone got the display off and removed the bug and now I can go into my kitchen again and it didn't cost me anything. It's GWM to have a nurse friend whose handy with a screwdriver because nothing grosses them out.

Fitzy Fitz posted:

OK

I worked retail and service jobs for 10 years while I balanced school and second jobs. During that time many of my coworkers had second jobs like bartender, night janitor, and evening tech support.

If you don't believe me that's fine, but tons of people are out there doing it to make ends meet.

e: I'll add again that I'm not saying it's easy or good. It's just better than the payday loan plan that guy ended up stuck in.

These days a second job is almost required if you're in a low-skilled profession since no one's getting more than 30 hours a week due to ACA. The days of getting OT in your McJob are over.

# ? Oct 14, 2018 16:14

Something Offal: Jan 12, 2018; by FactsAreUseless

FAUXTON posted:

offering online-opening checking accounts with mobile deposit available immediately is something that seems incredibly BWM for a bank to do (like, allowing cardholders on the san bernardino-north hollywood-thousand oaks axis of fraud to post expedited ACH payments, $4MM losses per month level BWM) but somehow they make money despite losing like a grand on each of maybe 1% of their accounts.

I would also like this explained because I have no idea what you're talking about.

# ? Oct 14, 2018 17:53

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

It's for sure a thing. My institution looks closer for red flags with so cal apps. Specifically Eastern European or Chinese nationals with limited credit history and Armenians that work for trucking companies.

# ? Oct 14, 2018 17:59

Something Offal: Jan 12, 2018; by FactsAreUseless

But what is it about SoCal and/or those professions / backgrounds that give rise to fraud? And what kind of fraud? Sounds really interesting.

# ? Oct 14, 2018 18:01

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Something Offal posted:

But what is it about SoCal and/or those professions / backgrounds that give rise to fraud? And what kind of fraud? Sounds really interesting.

Fauxton is the real expert here, but these are observed to a be pattern with fraudulent applications at my institution.

A lot of people from all over live in So Cal and what the fraudulent applications have in common is organized crime in immigrant communities. That and sky high cali real estate prices in the case of home loans, making a big score more attractive.

# ? Oct 14, 2018 18:06

Something Offal: Jan 12, 2018; by FactsAreUseless

And what kind of crime is common to those immigrant communities, I'm assuming this fraud is tied to money laundering? So does it tend to be drugs, racketeering, embezzlement, does your institution know which are most common? Sorry for all the Qs, I should have probably gotten plat and PM'd

# ? Oct 14, 2018 18:30

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Something Offal posted:

And what kind of crime is common to those immigrant communities, I'm assuming this fraud is tied to money laundering? So does it tend to be drugs, racketeering, embezzlement, does your institution know which are most common? Sorry for all the Qs, I should have probably gotten plat and PM'd

The fraud patterns I identified were bust out loans, where they borrow money secured against an asset that either does not exist or they don't own, and then disappear.

# ? Oct 14, 2018 18:39

blackmet: Aug 5, 2006; I believe there is a universal Truth to the process of doing things right (Not that I have any idea what that actually means).

FAUXTON posted:

offering online-opening checking accounts with mobile deposit available immediately is something that seems incredibly BWM for a bank to do (like, allowing cardholders on the san bernardino-north hollywood-thousand oaks axis of fraud to post expedited ACH payments, $4MM losses per month level BWM) but somehow they make money despite losing like a grand on each of maybe 1% of their accounts.

It is high risk. But at my firm, at least, first deposits have the absolute maximum allowable holds placed on them for Mobile Deposits. Also, depending on the kind of account, we'll run a credit check and decline if the score is too low.

I see the benefits though... it saves a ton of paperwork, mail being received, pointless branch visits, phone calls asking "WHERE'S MY MONEY," expedites the process for the client...the loss in headaches is worth the occasional bounced check issue.

I'm actually trained to be manual processor on those reviews before for people who don't automatically approve. The work for new accounts is tedious and monotonous, but tolerable. It's only a very small part of my work, mostly for business continuity or extreme "WE NEED HELP" reasons.

The work for people who want to temporarily or permanently increase their limits or try to get approved despite terrible credit is so awful that I went to my manager and rage quit that part of the job. I get that the system to do that was patched together in 2011 as a stopgap until something better was created. It's 2018 and it's apparently not going anywhere.

# ? Oct 14, 2018 20:13

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

If it makes you feel any better I do most of my work in ACAPS.

# ? Oct 14, 2018 20:30

Volmarias: Dec 31, 2002; EMAIL... THE INTERNET... SEARCH ENGINES...

So, banking goons, why is it so hard to get a safe deposit box? It seems like every branch of every bank should have a few open at this rate but nearly everyone has no vacancy.

# ? Oct 15, 2018 00:45

BMan: Oct 31, 2015; KNIIIIIIFE
EEEEEYYYYE
ATTAAAACK

Volmarias posted:

So, banking goons, why is it so hard to get a safe deposit box? It seems like every branch of every bank should have a few open at this rate but nearly everyone has no vacancy.

Gotta back up those crypto wallets

# ? Oct 15, 2018 00:58

Ixian: Oct 9, 2001; Many machines on Ix....new machines; Pillbug

Something Offal posted:

And what kind of crime is common to those immigrant communities, I'm assuming this fraud is tied to money laundering? So does it tend to be drugs, racketeering, embezzlement, does your institution know which are most common? Sorry for all the Qs, I should have probably gotten plat and PM'd

From 2009 but still so very relevent: https://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/08/19/bust_out_scheme_charges/

# ? Oct 15, 2018 00:59

Nephzinho: Jan 25, 2008

Volmarias posted:

So, banking goons, why is it so hard to get a safe deposit box? It seems like every branch of every bank should have a few open at this rate but nearly everyone has no vacancy.

Pretty sure this is just a city thing.

# ? Oct 15, 2018 01:16

BigDave: Jul 14, 2009; Taste the High Country

Something Offal posted:

And what kind of crime is common to those immigrant communities, I'm assuming this fraud is tied to money laundering? So does it tend to be drugs, racketeering, embezzlement, does your institution know which are most common? Sorry for all the Qs, I should have probably gotten plat and PM'd

Bust out, what they did in the second season of the Sopranos.

# ? Oct 15, 2018 01:28

Suspicious Lump: Mar 11, 2004

I love hilarious BWM:

quote:

Neighbor is poo poo-bombing my front yard
https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/9o3ge9/neighbor_is_shitbombing_my_front_yard/
Hey all, I have a lovely situation here that I'm hoping to get some advice about. This is in Idaho.

My neighbor is poo poo-bombing my front yard. A new neighbor bought a house across the street about 6 months ago. A few weeks back, I was working in the garage when I saw him take his dog directly across the street, into my front yard. He let it pee in my yard and then walked straight home. He didn't notice me - my garage is set up as a shop and is pretty busy, and the garage door is up a lot - but this piqued my interest because it's goddamned weird. Now, my wife and I have a dog so there are a few dog droppings from her that we pick up on a regular basis. My wife had been doing the dooty duty recently, so I asked her if there are more piles than normal. Sure enough, she said there had been a ton for a while now. She figured it was assholes walking their dogs and letting them crap in our lawn. I figured it was our new weirdo neighbor.

It happened again around a week later: I was in the garage as the neighbor took his dog into our lawn. This time the dog dropped a deuce and he started to walk away without picking it up. I called out to him, asking him if he needs a plastic bag to pick up after his dog, and he avoided eye contact and scurried back home. I went across the street and knocked on his door. He didn't answer. We set up a security camera to discretely watch the front lawn and I kept an eye out for when he was next out in his yard so I could talk to him.

I reviewed the footage over the next few days and, sure enough, he was consistently taking his dog to do the deed in our yard. Why our yard? No clue, we've never had any interaction with this guy whatsoever. The next time I saw him walking to his car, I confronted him. I simply told him that I knew he was taking his dog to poo poo in our yard and if I caught him doing it again I'd call the police to report him for trespassing. He denied doing it, claiming it must be other neighbors, got in his car, and drove away with me standing in his driveway.

So I review the footage from the last few days. Dude is not walking his dog into my yard anymore: he's letting the dog poo poo in his yard. He then scoops it up, walks it across the street, and tosses it into my yard with a shovel. What the absolute gently caress.

How do I even begin handling this?

In the comments:

quote:

This is a perfect opportunity for you to fire back at your poo poo-bombing neighbor with a legal ICBM.

Specifically, see idaho statute 6-202: https://legislature.idaho.gov/statutesrules/idstat/title6/t6ch2/sect6-202/

This is textbook civil trespass, and you are entitled to statutory relief of the GREATER OF $500 & actual damages, plus attorney's fees, and reimbursement for your costs of figuring out it's him!!!

So go hire a lawyer. Have fun.

BWM: Not putting your dogs poop in your bin.
BWL: Making an enemy of your neighbor for no reason.

# ? Oct 15, 2018 01:45

Porfiriato: Jan 4, 2016

It's Idaho so there's probably like a 50% chance the neighbor is a sovcit weirdo.

I look forward to his lawsuit defense based on the argument that since the neighbor's yard is not fringed in goldenrods, his dog should legally be considered a naval vessel engaged in interstate commerce (of doots) and therefore the court has no standing to hear the case.

# ? Oct 15, 2018 02:54

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# ? May 30, 2024 10:08

SpelledBackwards: Jan 7, 2001; I found this image on the Internet, perhaps you've heard of it? It's been around for a while I hear.

Wouldn't a sovcit have more respect for the independent-from-the-state, fully-owned-land of another of God's children, and therefore not gently caress with it unless he needed to steal electricity from him to power his cryptocurrency miners?

# ? Oct 15, 2018 03:11

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Bad With Money 2018: When I die, bury me in the blockchain.

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