techbubb.le - would have thought one small prick would have been enough

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > techbubb.le - would have thought one small prick would have been enough

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Poniard: Apr 3, 2011

loving and cumming inside the Taco Bell™ Xbox™ One X™ from Microsoft™ brought to you by Taco Bell™

# ? Oct 17, 2018 16:09

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 24, 2024 12:32

Shaggar: Apr 26, 2006

capitalism: rad brand synergy, cool contests for xbones, free tacos when someone steals a base in the playoffs
communism: no brands, no tacos, only desolation and potato.

# ? Oct 17, 2018 16:10

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

Shaggar posted:

advertisers are scam artists themselves so good on facebook for bilking them for all they're worth.

gotta agree with shaggar here

both facebook and advertising could evaporate off the face of the earth and all anyone would feel is a vague sense of relief

# ? Oct 17, 2018 16:10

qirex: Feb 15, 2001

FMguru posted:

https://twitter.com/jason_kint/status/1052311975236112386?s=19

"the average viewership metric had been inflated by some 150% to 900%"

it's almost like having handful of dominant entities in the attention economy is a bad idea???

# ? Oct 17, 2018 16:12

Endless Mike: Aug 13, 2003

facebook is an ad company, so they're really just eating their own tail

# ? Oct 17, 2018 16:16

Ciaphas: Nov 20, 2005; > BEWARE, COWARD

Sagebrush posted:

gotta agree with shaggar here

both facebook and advertising could evaporate off the face of the earth and all anyone would feel is a vague sense of relief

on the other hand all these autoplaying videos van loving bite me

# ? Oct 17, 2018 16:22

iospace: Jan 19, 2038

Ciaphas posted:

on the other hand all these autoplaying videos van loving bite me

# ? Oct 17, 2018 16:28

Shaggar: Apr 26, 2006

Ciaphas posted:

on the other hand all these autoplaying videos van loving bite me

its fine cause they get hidden by your adblocker but they were delivered to your client so they still count as a view.

# ? Oct 17, 2018 16:30

Ciaphas: Nov 20, 2005; > BEWARE, COWARD

i mean forget the annoyance and embarrassment of audio blaring at the office, that poo poo is a cpu hog

didn't computers literally run faster compared to the time costs and complexity of software ten years ago than it does now

# ? Oct 17, 2018 16:31

iospace: Jan 19, 2038

Shaggar posted:

its fine cause they get hidden by your adblocker but they were delivered to your client so they still count as a view.

hahahah "blocked by the adblocker" yeah no. They aren't unless you're setting up filters specifically for them.

PS

Death to capitalism

# ? Oct 17, 2018 16:31

Poniard: Apr 3, 2011

iospace posted:

Death to capitalism

# ? Oct 17, 2018 16:32

Shaggar: Apr 26, 2006

iospace posted:

hahahah "blocked by the adblocker" yeah no. They aren't unless you're setting up filters specifically for them.

PS

Death to capitalism

if its an auto playing ad it gets blocked. first party videos like an auto playing review on a review article are different.

# ? Oct 17, 2018 16:36

iospace: Jan 19, 2038

Shaggar posted:

if its an auto playing ad it gets blocked. first party videos like an auto playing review on a review article are different.

Auto-playing videos are a cancer on the internet, regardless of whether or not it's an ad or not.

# ? Oct 17, 2018 16:37

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

FMguru posted:

hey remember last year when every single website simultaneously fired most of their writers and pivoted to video? despite the fact that literally no person in history has ever read an article or blog entry and said "man, i wish this short little text blurb had been a noisy video that takes ten times as long to get through"?

well it looks like the research/analysis that led every single website to "pivot to video" was completely fabricated by facebook

http://fortune.com/2018/10/17/advertisers-facebook-video-metrics/ (warning - audio/video plays on load, ironically enough)

when did cracked wipe out their entire video department

# ? Oct 17, 2018 16:41

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

fishmech posted:

(and also the 1000 drivers should have been driving slow).

lol you're so close

# ? Oct 17, 2018 16:43

Optimus_Rhyme: Apr 15, 2007; are you that mainframe hacker guy?

https://twitter.com/pstAsiatech/status/1052522450230104064?s=19

Its fine

# ? Oct 17, 2018 16:46

Endless Mike: Aug 13, 2003

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

when did cracked wipe out their entire video department

last year tehy had a big layoff. i seem to recall some yosposter's partner was one of them?

https://www.dangerous.com/37818/cracked-lays-off-staff/

# ? Oct 17, 2018 16:51

fishmech: Jul 16, 2006; by VideoGames; Salad Prong

Ciaphas posted:

i mean forget the annoyance and embarrassment of audio blaring at the office, that poo poo is a cpu hog

didn't computers literally run faster compared to the time costs and complexity of software ten years ago than it does now

ehhh no not really. they ran about the same.

# ? Oct 17, 2018 16:53

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Endless Mike posted:

last year tehy had a big layoff. i seem to recall some yosposter's partner was one of them?

https://www.dangerous.com/37818/cracked-lays-off-staff/

i was just wondering if the timeline matches up with the fb reveal here

# ? Oct 17, 2018 16:53

qirex: Feb 15, 2001

I think the case is a long shot because they have to prove facebook intentionally misled them and even if they did they probably covered their asses but if not this is like billions of dollars in fraud

# ? Oct 17, 2018 17:03

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

qirex posted:

it's almost like having the attention economy is a bad idea???

Cefte posted:

Attention Deficit Disorder

The afternoon sun angled through a tear in the tent. Ma Bao-Zhi grunted, then shifted his face towards the shade and screwed up his eyes. In the absence of light, the retinal burns from his always-on pupil-tracking HUD-halo danced before his field of vision. He sat up and stretched. It was a new day.

The corner of his visual field that was perpetually occupied by the DistroNet feed blinked. A major announcement was incoming from the most influential association of experts that he had ever been a part of: The Council Of Two Million With A Remit Of Everything.

The upstart replacement of last year's not-hegemon, the Coven of Eight to the Seven; Masters of Knowledge, the Council had, yesterday, consisted of just over 50.3% of the surviving inhabitants of what had once been Taiwan SAR. However, as he scanned the headlines, he noted that an overnight disputation on the meaning of Buddha-nature had resulted in nearly two hundred being purged from the membership roster, and, more importantly, from the Council's ReDistroList. Ma had never posted to any discussion regarding Buddha-nature, for which he was now extremely thankful.

Attention Distribution Cannot Be Gamed, he though, nodding to himself. It was a mantra every child knew, and it was obviously true. 'Gaming' would imply an illegitimate practice, and since the attention economy was inherently legitimate, any practice that arose thereof could not be 'gaming'. The use of randomly-assigned attention redistribution lists to strengthen the network-influence of an association of experts was one of the most powerful practices there was - without it, no modern association of experts could compete.

With the saccadic grace of long practice, his pupils flipped to the updated, slightly smaller ReDistroList, and settled down to start his highly-encouraged ten hours of daily network-reinforcement. Ten hours - ten icons - each one painstakingly designed by the expert it represented. The Coven of Eight to the Seven had highly encouraged eight hours of ReDistroList attention, but the Council's superior attention ethic had led to an expert association network both wider and deeper in links, and thus, far more influential. The Coven defined their area of expertise too narrowly, and left themselves open to a ratio attack. It was a trivial task for the Council to dial down the attention ratio of key knowledge industries overnight, leaving the Coven rudderless and sinking. Ma had been a third-quartile defector, holding out longer than most; his punishment was to enter the Council with six month's half-ratio deficit. Half as likely to be randomly assigned to other experts ReDistroList, he counted himself lucky - the fourth quartile had been exiled entirely. As is, he was comfortably off in a deficit camp outside Taibao.

Ma shook himself; introspection was an audience of one. The first icon belonged to Tracy Liu: 166kg, pink highlights and moderator by acclaim of a yaoi fandom for the ancient classic, Glengarry Glen Ross.

The minutes ticked by, and as the completion bar for the first icon flipped over into green and Tracy's hand-drawn icon faded from sight - young Al Pacino gently cupping young Jack Lemmon's testicles on a bed of index cards - Ma decided that he would treat himself with an hour of free attention. He rucked the covers back from his legs and withdrew his 75MHz future-proofed laptop from its pouch.

Minutes later, halfway through the boot-sequence, Ma heard the unmistakable whirring of a Bother-Gyro. He dug rapidly through the contents of the tent for the thick blanket he'd found the week before, to muffle the fans of the laptop, but the blanket had been redistributed. It was too late anyway: the Bother-Gyro's tracking software had heard the fans.

"Go away!" shouted Ma.

< Hello Friend And How Are You And Woo! >

The Bother-Gyro hovered just out of Ma's reach.

"滚蛋!"

< Would You Like A Comestible?! Marmalade Is In This Week! >

"gently caress off."

Bother-Gyros were increasingly common, flying over the water from the Penghu Collective, and Ma had tangled with them before, when he was a high-ratio member of the Coven: an attractive target. The Collective were Min-speakers, and the language barrier was starving them of culture-based attention, and forcing them to desperate measures. He knew that while they would advertise to any moving object, their main purpose was to gain the attention of the victim. Even compared to the average camp member, Ma's influence ratio was low...

"Hey! Bot! There's a high-ratio family just over that wall! You can bother them all at once! Think of the attention gains!"

Unfortunately for Ma, the Bother-Gyro was also running off a 75MHz chip, which did not support voice recognition. Even more unfortunately, what little resources it did have to bring to bear were mainly concentrated on measuring the direction of gaze of the victim, and Ma's gaze had briefly moved from the Gyro to the wall he was gesturing at. The Gyro aimed a module at the RFID tag on Ma's halo.

*pffffsss*

"gently caress!"

Pepper-spray will catch anyone's attention.

Whilst Ma rolled around in the dirt, the Bother-Gyro gently settled on the ground next to him, conserving battery. Proximity was worth less attention than direct eye-contact, but it was still worth something. After a minute, the database updated the Gyro on Ma's uninspiring attention value, and it buzzed off in search of less deficient prey.

----

The afternoon was nearly over before Ma's eyes stopped watering, and the pupil-tracker started to update correctly. Luckily, his HUD-halo was undamaged - it could still receive and transmit audio, video, pupil-tracking data and, indeed, record everything that Ma did. Nine hours of ReDistroList remained on his schedule, but he had bigger things on his mind. Of all the places, his deficit camp was lucky enough to be in viewing distance of a celebrity battle.

It wasn't entirely by chance, of course. Celebrity Mechas were very power-hungry, and required tethering to the grid network, and deficit camps had the tendency to spring up in unused land along grid lines. While city dwellers might have had the massed influence to force such a destructive event outside their municipal margins, a deficit camp by definition could not face up to even the most minor celebrity's choice of land-resource.

This particular battle was between the gigantic robots piloted by a pornography magnate and a man who was extremely good at making videos of cats. Hovering cameras darted about the provided every possible angle around the machines, while in-cockpit vision was granted by cameras attached to both control modules. There were no adverts - the battle itself drew all the attention the participants needed.

The pornographer had outfitted his mecha with water sprinklers, providing the substrate for projected holograms of noted starlets and their riveting performances. The cat man, showing disdain for the practice of up-attending, had a far more stripped-down mecha, bowing to demand only by having a control module shaped like a cat's head. While his initial surge in influence had been off the back of a pet British Shorthair, his true power came from his decision to breed several thousand of the creatures and lock them in a vast complex filled with pastel colors and assorted common household items. Cuteness, too, can be brute-forced.

As the two machines started to stride towards each other, Ma watched camp-dwellers who sought influence more than health run between the legs of the mechas. Like so much in the attention economy, it was a dual payoff. Simply being near a mecha guaranteed a proportion of the attention that the pilot was constantly exuding, and that was worth the risk of injury in itself. But, if a camera tracked by millions happened to autofocus on a lucky expert? Why, a single second's worth of attention was more than the expert might otherwise see in a lifetime.

The battle was joined, and as the mechas stamped to and fro, they came closer and closer to the western edge of the camp - the edge furthest from Ma. Even those experts in the camp whose lack of attention ethics had placed them dangerously close to exile from their associations could not help but pay heed. Lasers flashed, missiles flew, and clouds of smoke emerged even when not strictly necessary. In fact, the battle, like most battles, was more bark than bite: it was considered bad form to actually kill another celebrity, not least because it tended to alienate part of your potential audience. After all, who didn't enjoy both pornography and cat videos?

The din didn't just attract the attention of experts - from miles around, Bother-Gyros wheeled in, guided by the very human tendency to correlate decibels and attention. Ma gazed in wonder as a two flocks of gyros of different manufacture, bathed in the proximity wash from the mechas, each mistook the other flock as the source of attention. Overriding the normal guideline that led them to disperse for maximal coverage, the gyros spiralled madly in ever decreasing circles as they sought to increase that flow.

As he watched, the gyrating super-flock, consisting of nearly a hundred Bother-Gyros, whirled into the cloud of spray being produced by pornographer's mechanical contraption. A hundred automatic protection circuits flared into action, and the mass of gyros punched in the opposite direction - straight into the air intake ducts of the cat-mecha.

One gyro would have been unfortunate. Five would have led to an emergency shutdown. But no mecha-designer had considered such a freak occurrence as the emergent behaviour so briefly displayed by the gyro-flocks. Admittedly, QA and Safety were neglected disciplines ever since the advent of the attention economy - who would dedicate their lives to a discipline that involved something so unquantifiable as preventing rare occurrences? After all, it's not as though someone might lose their accumulated attention - just their lives.

With a massive crunch, the flywheels at the center of the cat-mecha broke apart, releasing a torrent of kinetic energy, and sending parts of the mecha in every direction. The pornographer tried to backpedal his mecha away from the burning debris, but his attention elsewhere, he stepped directly on one of the experts that had been trailing his footsteps. As his machine overturned, the pornographer clutched at the control panel, seeking the emergency eject key, but by chance also fat-fingering the steam overcharge system. The porn-mecha's control module blasted off the chassis - straight into the side of one of the few fixed-wall buildings in the camp. The steam explosion, while softer, was far more deadly.

Ma had hit the ground as soon as he saw the first gyro sucked into the air-intake - luckily so, as burning debris had taken out several of his neighbours. Now, his view obscured by what remained of the same three foot-wall he had urged the gyro to surmount earlier that day, he flicked his eyes to open a newsline. The events of the past minute had gone viral - his feed was already filling with commentary from the other side of the world. Every last survivor would soon be bombarded with requests for commentary on the death of the celebrities.

Celebrities plural? The feed from the cat-mecha was still active. In fact, the explosion had blown the control module right over the camp, landing to the east, far from the screams of the scalded and poisoned camp dwellers. Ma held a rag over as much of his mouth and nose as he could reach through his HUD-halo, and levered himself to his feet.

The cat man was alive. In fact, he was almost unhurt - a mere fractured collarbone. He was, however, trapped inside his module, and mouthing something - the audio feed from his cockpit had cut out. Ma tore his attention from his HUD-halo and looked out, directly at the smoking module in the distance.

Never mind proximity attention - to be the man who saved a celebrity from almost certain death? To be the only source of an audio feed for the sole celebrity survivor of what the international feeds were calling the Disaster of Taibao?

Ma started to trot towards the control module, avoiding the prone bodies of those less fortunate survivors, around some of whom flames still flickered. He tore his foot away from the grasp of one, whilst muttering thanks for the last few seconds of absolute attention they granted him. He stepped over a corpse, then briefly glanced behind him. The least concussed of the able-bodied camp survivors were already moving after him. Turning his back to the setting sun, Ma broke into a run.

# ? Oct 17, 2018 17:05

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

oh no, a billion dollars. that's as much as (googles) 0.2% of their market capitalization

# ? Oct 17, 2018 17:06

Notorious b.s.d.: Jan 25, 2003; by Reene

Optimus_Rhyme posted:

https://twitter.com/pstAsiatech/status/1052522450230104064?s=19

Its fine

the stupid money follows the smart money

# ? Oct 17, 2018 17:07

Ciaphas: Nov 20, 2005; > BEWARE, COWARD

Sagebrush posted:

oh no, a billion dollars. that's as much as (googles) 0.2% of their market capitalization

it's almost like nothing matters and everything is hosed

# ? Oct 17, 2018 17:07

Notorious b.s.d.: Jan 25, 2003; by Reene

qirex posted:

I think the case is a long shot because they have to prove facebook intentionally misled them and even if they did they probably covered their asses but if not this is like billions of dollars in fraud

they don't have to "prove" anything to trash facebook's reputation and drive ad rates down faster than they were otherwise falling

i am hella bearish on facebook

their business model is nonsense

# ? Oct 17, 2018 17:07

qirex: Feb 15, 2001

Notorious b.s.d. posted:

their business model is nonsense

it's not complete nonsense, people obviously get a lot of value out of using facebook but what doesn't make sense is it being a half-trillion dollar company that sucked up like a quarter of the whole ad market

# ? Oct 17, 2018 17:11

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

anything that reduces the amount of video in general is good

# ? Oct 17, 2018 17:12

Shaggar: Apr 26, 2006

the only thing that's gonna harm facebook is their declining user base. advertisers can get as butt hurt as they want about the effectiveness of ads but they're still gonna throw money at them because what else are they gonna do with it? improve their products?

# ? Oct 17, 2018 17:13

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

i'd love to see facebook's demographics these days.

# ? Oct 17, 2018 17:34

Notorious b.s.d.: Jan 25, 2003; by Reene

Shaggar posted:

the only thing that's gonna harm facebook is their declining user base. advertisers can get as butt hurt as they want about the effectiveness of ads but they're still gonna throw money at them because what else are they gonna do with it? improve their products?

the ad rates fall every year

# ? Oct 17, 2018 17:34

Notorious b.s.d.: Jan 25, 2003; by Reene

qirex posted:

it's not complete nonsense, people obviously get a lot of value out of using facebook but what doesn't make sense is it being a half-trillion dollar company that sucked up like a quarter of the whole ad market

it doesn't matter how much value people get out of using facebook, because they're not the ones paying. that just isn't the model facebook chose

facebook's business model depends upon businesses paying to advertise, and that is some pants on head stupid nonsense

it's the worst ad inventory imaginable. internet display ads, accompanying baby photos and announcements of personal tragedy

zero people are open to your advertising next to the photos of the new niece. that's just not a thing, no matter how badly investors want it to be

# ? Oct 17, 2018 17:35

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

thred

https://twitter.com/bechter/status/1052579119890911232

# ? Oct 17, 2018 17:41

refleks: Nov 21, 2006

Whatever happened to OG attention economist eripsa? Its been a while since i saw one of his meltdown threads...

# ? Oct 17, 2018 17:45

fishmech: Jul 16, 2006; by VideoGames; Salad Prong

FMguru posted:

thred

https://twitter.com/bechter/status/1052579119890911232

post all the tweets or none at all

# ? Oct 17, 2018 17:46

prisoner of waffles: May 8, 2007; Ah! well a-day! what evil looks
Had I from old and young!
Instead of the cross, the fishmech
About my neck was hung.

Notorious b.s.d. posted:

they don't have to "prove" anything to trash facebook's reputation and drive ad rates down faster than they were otherwise falling

i am hella bearish on facebook

it'd be sweet if the next crash triggered off of this + Saudi investment being disrupted by the reaction to the ghastly Khashoggi murder

nn taleb is an oddball but calling the kingdom "Saudi Barbaria" is funny and only ever gets more accurate

# ? Oct 17, 2018 17:54

iospace: Jan 19, 2038

Today, in lol open plan offices: https://www.dezeen.com/2018/10/17/panasonics-wearable-blinkers-concentrate-open-plan-offices-technology/amp/

Let's now make things that horses wear to keep them looking ahead and not thinking of ants and dying, and put them on people!

# ? Oct 17, 2018 18:28

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

Optimus_Rhyme posted:

https://twitter.com/pstAsiatech/status/1052522450230104064?s=19

Its fine

everything is fine

# ? Oct 17, 2018 18:28

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

iospace posted:

Today, in lol open plan offices: https://www.dezeen.com/2018/10/17/panasonics-wearable-blinkers-concentrate-open-plan-offices-technology/amp/

Let's now make things that horses wear to keep them looking ahead and not thinking of ants and dying, and put them on people!

add a few LEDs and it can go in the cyberpunk thread

# ? Oct 17, 2018 18:31

Cocoa Crispies: Jul 20, 2001; Vehicular Manslaughter!; Pillbug

iospace posted:

Today, in lol open plan offices: https://www.dezeen.com/2018/10/17/panasonics-wearable-blinkers-concentrate-open-plan-offices-technology/amp/

Let's now make things that horses wear to keep them looking ahead and not thinking of ants and dying, and put them on people!

best part is that while it makes it so you notice your surroundings less, it doesn't stop someone from catching you posting at work like a proper white collar anarchist

# ? Oct 17, 2018 18:43

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 24, 2024 12:32

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

that twitter thread about the sears catalog and jim crow prompted jezebel to track down the academic who wrote it and interview her: https://pictorial.jezebel.com/how-the-sears-catalog-revolutionized-african-american-s-1829802142

# ? Oct 17, 2018 18:56

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > techbubb.le - would have thought one small prick would have been enough

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