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gleebster
Dec 16, 2006

Only a howler
Pillbug

Leavemywife posted:

"People need crockery and trinkets at reasonable prices! Why won't people buy from me?"

- Owner, Pol Pottery Barn

Specializing in bone china.

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TKIY
Nov 6, 2012
Grimey Drawer
So what if I named my farm supply company after the NFLs all time leading rusher?

- Owner of Emmett's Tills

Mierenneuker
Apr 28, 2010


We're all going to experience changes in our life but only the best of us will qualify for front row seats.

walrusman posted:

"This isn't who I really am! I just like breakfast foods!"

- Founder of Luftwaffle

A shame, I was such a fan of their Luftige Waffeln! They were so airy.

TKIY
Nov 6, 2012
Grimey Drawer
We just make da best cheeses and da best yogurt around!

- Owner, DaCow Dairy

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
"I just want to show the world that Chinese wines can stand along side any other wines in the world. What's the big deal?"

- Owner of "The Grape of Nanking"

edit:

"My new pirate themed baby wear is fun and inclusive for everyone. I have no idea why people are getting so bent out of shape."

- Owner of "Baby Yarrr"

Solice Kirsk has a new favorite as of 15:47 on Oct 18, 2018

Leave
Feb 7, 2012

Taking the term "Koopaling" to a whole new level since 2016.
"It doesn't matter if I do underhanded deals and hate women, my magic shop shouldn't have to cater to everyone in the world!"

- Founder, The Trump Card

TKIY
Nov 6, 2012
Grimey Drawer
"It's a block and tackle store, I don't see the issue?"

- Jim Lynch, owner "Lynch Ropes"

edit: This is magical:

Solice Kirsk posted:

"The Grape of Nanking"

purple death ray
Jul 28, 2007

me omw 2 steal ur girl

SiKboy posted:

I just wanted something which said "A final solution to high prices!", now I'm being bullied online!

- Owner of the Holo-costco

I think this my favorite but holy moly @everyone

Ragequit
Jun 1, 2006


Lipstick Apathy
"For all your emo tape needs, stop by The Taping Rebellion!"

spog
Aug 7, 2004

It's your own bloody fault.
"We're just an informal group that likes to get together and watch Twin Peaks and Mulholland Drive"

-Founder, The Lynch Mob

McGurk
Oct 20, 2004

Cuz life sucks, kids. Get it while you can.

“I just really love providing authentic middle eastern food at low prices!”

- owner of Allah Snakbar

Zipperelli.
Apr 3, 2011



Nap Ghost
And this is why I keep active on these dead gay forums. Every last one of these is magical. :allears:

oh dope
Nov 2, 2006

No guilt, it feeds in plain sight
"I'm here to help everyone, including women and children, with their post surgery rehab and sports injuries!"

Owner - Wounded Knee Physical Therapy

Antioch
Apr 18, 2003
People should be able to teach their kids at home, I don't see the big issue with providing them the materials!

-Owner, Resident Al's Schools

LemonRind
Apr 26, 2010

CEO OF FUNHAVER ENTERPRISES
Ask me about making YOUR thread suck less!
"We're just here to help life go right"

- Owner Kent State Farm Insurance

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
"I simply want the world to enjoy delicious fruit preserves of mainland China while relaxing in four star accommodations. I have no idea why this is confusing to anyone."

- Owner of "The Great Chinese Jam Inn"

TKIY
Nov 6, 2012
Grimey Drawer
"Providing travel services to Catalonia, the Basque Country and Galicia regions"

- Owner, "The Spanish Flew"

walrusman
Aug 4, 2006

Providing a huge selection of leather sandals so you can get in and out fast!

Welcome to Birken-Now!

Zipperelli.
Apr 3, 2011



Nap Ghost
Made here in the heart of Texas, we're burning down the competition!

- Owner, Waco Matches

Ragequit
Jun 1, 2006


Lipstick Apathy
Lmao the last two pages are rock solid.


"Enjoy full amenities as your baby is born in style at the Gulagh Labor and Delivery Center."

TKIY
Nov 6, 2012
Grimey Drawer
Best selection of Sodas in the Tri-city area!

- Joan's Town Beverages

Aramoro
Jun 1, 2012




'I just noticed we weren't doing much business in the morning so why open early?'

- Owner, 9-Eleven

spog
Aug 7, 2004

It's your own bloody fault.
"Research clearly shows that students benefit greatly from later starts to the day and that the entire morning is a waste of time and that schools should concentrate on afternoon lessons only.
Yet our message does not seem to get positive responses"

-Founder, the 'Forget 9-11' campaign.

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

TKIY posted:

Best selection of Sodas in the Tri-city area!

- Joan's Town Beverages

TKIY
Nov 6, 2012
Grimey Drawer
"Our family farm focuses on growing huge quantities of our favourite flower on only one acre of land! Come check out the Columbine Mass Acre!"

Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003

by Hand Knit

Aramoro posted:

'I just noticed we weren't doing much business in the morning so why open early?'

- Owner, 9-Eleven

AH, the old Doobie hours

Leave
Feb 7, 2012

Taking the term "Koopaling" to a whole new level since 2016.
"We specialize in giving your every day items that vintage, worn-down look, all done here at home, in our great nation."

-CEO, American Small Pocks Company

purple death ray
Jul 28, 2007

me omw 2 steal ur girl

This poo poo has some legs huh Goddamn

TKIY
Nov 6, 2012
Grimey Drawer

Leavemywife posted:

"We specialize in giving your every day items that vintage, worn-down look, all done here at home, in our great nation."

-CEO, American Small Pocks Company

Do you do blankets? Asking, uh, for a friend.

Lazlo Nibble
Jan 9, 2004

It was Weasleby, by God! At last I had the miserable blighter precisely where I wanted him!
“We’re just serving exquisitely handcrafted sushi in a high-end traditional Western seated evening dining setting, I don’t understand why we have all these protestors.”
— Owner, Sup Nigiri

lemonadesweetheart
May 27, 2010

please stop... please

zakharov
Nov 30, 2002

:kimchi: Tater Love :kimchi:
Here's some ironic racism, lol

GrandpaPants
Feb 13, 2006


Free to roam the heavens in man's noble quest to investigate the weirdness of the universe!

"All we wanted to do was to better illuminate the trains and their platforms, so I don't know why there was so much objection to our 'Beat the Dark' slogan. I thought it was pretty catchy."
- Head Organizer of San Francisco's "Bright BART" campaign.

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
"Look, it's really simple. We're a small family business that makes fun and flirty makeup for young adventurous people. Some people just try to find fault in anything."

- Owner of "Tootsie Mascara"

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof

Solice Kirsk posted:

"I just want to show the world that Chinese wines can stand along side any other wines in the world. What's the big deal?"

- Owner of "The Grape of Nanking"

edit:

"My new pirate themed baby wear is fun and inclusive for everyone. I have no idea why people are getting so bent out of shape."

- Owner of "Baby Yarrr"

:drat:

Randaconda
Jul 3, 2014

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Solice Kirsk posted:

"I just want to show the world that Chinese wines can stand along side any other wines in the world. What's the big deal?"

- Owner of "The Grape of Nanking"



jesus christ

Bombadilillo
Feb 28, 2009

The dock really fucks a case or nerfing it.

oh dope posted:

"I'm here to help everyone, including women and children, with their post surgery rehab and sports injuries!"

Owner - Wounded Knee Physical Therapy

"I'm just a huge skyrim fan "

Owner - Wounded Knee Physical Therapy

Cessna
Feb 20, 2013

KHABAHBLOOOM

"I want people to know that I'm proud to sell my potato chips here in Vietnam."

Owner: My Lays.

minato
Jun 7, 2004

cutty cain't hang, say 7-up.
Taco Defender

This has been in San Mateo for yeeeears

And it's not the only one.

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OBR
Apr 9, 2009
Tame your dog with our help here at Pet-dociles!

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