capitalism.png: Living Wage as a Service (LWaaS)

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > capitalism.png: Living Wage as a Service (LWaaS)

Mordor She Wrote: Nov 17, 2014

Tetracube posted:

I actually had to look up whether this was real or not.
https://www.walmart.com/ip/Monopoly-for-Millennials-Board-Game-Ages-8/311429770

""Money doesn't always buy a great time, but experiences, whether they're good -- or weird -- last forever. The Monopoly for Millennials game celebrates just that. Instead of collecting as much cash as possible, players are challenged to rack up the most Experiences to win. Travel around the gameboard discovering and visiting cool places to eat, shop, and relax. Interact with other players via Chance and Community Chest cards, (which are super relatable). And players don't pay rent -- they visit one another, earning more Experience points. This board game is a great way to bring a fun and relaxed vibe to a party or casual get-together."
guillotine Mr Monopoly
MONOPOLY FOR MILLENNIALS GAME: Adulting is hard; take a break from the rat race with this edition of the Monopoly game

PARTY BOARD GAME: This Monopoly game is a great choice for Millennials who need a break from the life of adulting; great for parties and get-togethers

CHOOSE COOL PLACES AND DESTINATIONS: Collect Experience points by visiting the hottest Destinations -- from your Friend's Couch, to the Vegan Bistro, to a Week-Long Meditation Retreat

SET THE TREND: Collect money from players who visit the Destinations you discovered first

IT'S ABOUT THE EXPERIENCE: In this version of the Monopoly game, the player who collects the most Experience -- not the most money -- wins the game"

"In a bid to appeal to millennials, Hasbro recently announced several changes to the iconic board game Monopoly, including replacing the thimble game piece and dropping the concept of property ownership from the gameplay.

"We've found that players aged 30 and under no longer identify with certain elements of the game," explained Michael Borowitz, Hasbro Games' Vice President of Marketing.

"Especially with concepts more relevant to earlier eras, like the 1930s-era thimble token or the possibility of upward social mobility."

# ? Oct 24, 2018 17:08

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# ? May 29, 2024 20:26

Shame Boy: Mar 2, 2010

"Not being able to own property" and "Being shut out of upward mobility" is literally what monopoly was about to begin with :argh:

# ? Oct 24, 2018 17:26

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Azathoth posted:

https://www.buzzfeed.com/mikespohr/peanut-butter-and-mayonnaise-sandwiches-were-a-thing-in-the

there were a lotta foodcrimes that the advertising industry perpetrated when canned food became a thing in postwar america

it's where broccoli casserole came from

# ? Oct 24, 2018 17:27

Shame Boy: Mar 2, 2010

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

there were a lotta foodcrimes that the advertising industry perpetrated when canned food became a thing in postwar america

it's where broccoli casserole came from

Naturally there's a twitter that collects them:

https://twitter.com/70s_party

I read an explanation somewhere that in the 40's and 50's a bunch of advertisers realized that "America" was taking shape as a core identity for a lot of people but unlike a lot of other cultures we didn't really have our own native food - everything we'd consider "American" came here with immigrants. Naturally they figured the first corporation to invent such a native food that everyone loved would make tons of money as it would get tied into patriotism and stuff, so they all set out on bizarre food recommendations trying to convince people to use their products in weird ways and hoping one of them stuck as a core "American" dish.

# ? Oct 24, 2018 17:32

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

the funny thing is we actually did have a cuisines in america, in fact the industrialization of agriculture and the world wars p much wiped them out

here's a good book on it

the exact same thing happened in england, which they've been trying to reclaim lately with stuff like the great british bake-off

# ? Oct 24, 2018 17:45

fart store: Jul 6, 2018; probably nobody knows
im the fattest man
maybe nobody even
people have told me
and its not me saying this
my gut
my ass
its huge
my whole body
and i have been told
did you know this
not many know this
im gonna let you in on this
some say
[inhale loudly]
im the hugest one.
many people dont know that

Looks like jizz, smells like farts. Mayo is actually the perfect food.

# ? Oct 24, 2018 18:01

The Dipshit: Dec 21, 2005; by FactsAreUseless

fart store posted:

Looks like jizz, smells like farts. Mayo is actually the perfect food.

Had to double check this wasn't a cumshitter post.

# ? Oct 24, 2018 18:04

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

Azathoth posted:

https://www.buzzfeed.com/mikespohr/peanut-butter-and-mayonnaise-sandwiches-were-a-thing-in-the

Both peanut butter and mayo they use look wrong. Especially the milk-white mayo. What the hell is this poo poo? Is this how mayonnaise is in America? Try that with proper ingredients, idiots. Get Calve peanut butter and some mayo with actual eggs in it!

# ? Oct 24, 2018 18:21

Shame Boy: Mar 2, 2010

Paladinus posted:

Both peanut butter and mayo they use look wrong. Especially the milk-white mayo. What the hell is this poo poo? Is this how mayonnaise is in America? Try that with proper ingredients, idiots. Get Calve peanut butter and some mayo with actual eggs in it!

Whipping egg makes it white, idk what to tell you :shrug:

# ? Oct 24, 2018 18:27

Shame Boy: Mar 2, 2010

I went to the Hellmann's website to see where eggs were in the ingredients (third, behind oil and water) and came away with a fun new ~mayo hack~

# ? Oct 24, 2018 18:29

Eraflure: Oct 12, 2012

Shame Boy posted:

Naturally there's a twitter that collects them:

https://twitter.com/70s_party

Arguably one of the most revolting things ITT

# ? Oct 24, 2018 18:31

Bombadilillo: Feb 28, 2009; The dock really fucks a case or nerfing it.

Shame Boy posted:

Whipping egg makes it white, idk what to tell you

The oil you mix in makes it yellow usually. It also oxidizes yellow over time. Homemade mayo is simple and delicious and does look different.

I wouldnt put it on peanutbutter like a loving monster though.

# ? Oct 24, 2018 18:32

Shame Boy: Mar 2, 2010

Oh man the Hellmann's website has what appears to be unfiltered comments

quote:

What happened /changed ? that great flavor is gone
Something has changed in and it was for the worst. Been using only Hellman's for over 40 years and so had my Mom and my Grandma' s . Even though it would cost a little more no matter what we would go without something else to pay the extra and buy Hellman's, We used nothing else especially for Tuna , egg and potato salad. The flavor that once was , is not there anymore and it's runny once mixed. The flavor seems almost spoiled after a month or so after opening . Not sure what has changed , but please go back no matter the cost and make it and sell it the same way Hellman's used to be or you will be losing many , many customers .

# ? Oct 24, 2018 18:33

spankmeister: Jun 15, 2008

Hellman's is awful tasteless crap, no wonder a lot of people don't like mayo in the states

# ? Oct 24, 2018 18:35

Shame Boy: Mar 2, 2010

Holy poo poo are people mad about mayo

quote:

Boo
Guys, my family has been using Hellman's Real for generations but lately it seems like you did something different. The mayo lacks that classic flavor that makes everything from sandwiches to my wife's tartar sauce just right. It's thinner, less flavorful. I get it. Every once in a while some food engineer comes along promising "better mouth feel" or more profits by cutting a corner but seriously, you guys were a national treasure and now as your mayo slides unceremoniously off my knife, I wonder if I should start looking for a better alternative. Please stop whatever you're doing and go back to the way you were.

quote:

Nightmare on elm street/chucky
Something has changed in and it was for the worst. I using only Hellman's for over 40 years. Taste and texture were perfect but the last Ten Jars, of Hellmann�s Real Mayonnaise (64oz.) @ $11.98 I purchased were thin and had a sort of rancid taste. I have a business and only used Hellman�s to make my homemade tartar sauce, it was horrible. Had to take a lost could not sell any of my product to my customers, and had to take a lost on the product that I brought as well. HELLMAN�S IAM LEAVING YOU!!!! And what is this soy oil that they are using? I will be making my own mayo from now on for my company.

quote:

Not the same what happened?!?!?!?
I've been using Hellmanns mayonnaise my whole life. It's the only mayo that was ever allowed in the fridge. I have noticed lately that something has obviously been changed it doesn't taste the same! I thought it may have just been a bad batch or something so I purchased another jar and had the same problem. After a couple days in the fridge it tastes terrible! It also had almost a soupy thin consistency to it. Please whatever you have changed change it back! I completly agree with the other reviews here that it's not the same. I hate to say it but until it gets changed back I will not be buying another jar. I hate to say that after over 50 years of using nothing else but Hellmanns

quote:

Where is my REAL Hellmann's?
I too have only eaten Hellmann's mayonnaise my entire life and put it on almost everything! In fact I love it so much that my kids bought me a 48 oz. jar for my birthday!

But here I sit, after opening two new jars and tasting a strange flavor...an off sweet rancid flavor. I opened one and thought it had gone bad so I opened the other that was also missing that trademark tangy eggy taste. In fact I literally stopped cooking in the middle of dinner to let you know that I'm going to be returning them both to the store. I hope this was a manufacturing error and not a recipe change to a fantastic one-of-a-kind flavor I enjoy above all others. If it is a recipe change, you've lost me until it changes back.

There's hundreds of these lmao

# ? Oct 24, 2018 18:37

Doctor_Fruitbat: Jun 2, 2013

Heinz do better mayo and Hellmans do better ketchup. It's weird.

# ? Oct 24, 2018 18:38

Bombadilillo: Feb 28, 2009; The dock really fucks a case or nerfing it.

I know an old who was bemoaning that he couldnt get hellmans here on the west coast.

Then he found it it's just best foods regionally and it blew his 65 year old mind. He'd been eating best foods for years begrudging how it wasnt as good.

# ? Oct 24, 2018 18:41

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

I started this job a few months ago and upon arrival did a somewhat simple if incredibly fiddly bit of scripting (still way beyond anyone else here considering it is not a tech/engineering place whatsoever!) and thus took a task they were doing in 5-6 hours of labor and reduced it to maybe 1-2 hours. Now they are talking about maybe hiring an outsourced company in the Philippines somewhere to do that task as it has been so simplified.

I feel some type of way about this. Like gently caress you don't use my poo poo to enable your outsourcing wtf hire some college kid to do it.

Moridin920 has issued a correction as of 18:47 on Oct 24, 2018

# ? Oct 24, 2018 18:43

Shame Boy: Mar 2, 2010

quote:

BETRAYED!!!
My family and I have been eating Hellmann's mayo for decades! Never ate any other mayo...didn't HAVE to. Hellmann's WAS the best. As you all know by now, the recipe has changed and for the worse. Told my sister in law not to bother making cole slaw anymore, it doesn't taste good with the new recipe. I no longer make potato salad either and for the same reason. There goes GREAT sandwiches now too! Threw out what we had in the fridge and returned to the store what was on the shelf in the pantry. Never thought I'd live long enough to see such an american tradition go bad...guess I'll just have to be grateful i've lived so long! LOL Hopefully, they're staging a come back of the original recipe...like Coke did when they made their mistake!

How are these people real

# ? Oct 24, 2018 18:44

Iron Crowned: May 6, 2003; by Hand Knit

Bombadilillo posted:

I know an old who was bemoaning that he couldnt get hellmans here on the west coast.

Then he found it it's just best foods regionally and it blew his 65 year old mind. He'd been eating best foods for years begrudging how it wasnt as good.

As someone who lived on the West Coast and moved east, t's not like the jingles were much different either, they literally just swap "Best Foods" and "Hellmans."

# ? Oct 24, 2018 18:46

Shame Boy: Mar 2, 2010

Also every one-star review has a very thread-appropriate low-effort response:

quote:

Response from Hellmann�s� :
Hellmanns � Csr Services � 3 years ago
We are happy to hear you have been using our Mayonnaise for over 20 years, however you felt the flavor has changed. Please contact us at Consumer.Services@Unilever.com or call 800-671-6025 so we may learn more about your experience.

I love that they didn't even set up a custom customer service email for the brand, it's just the generic Unilever one :allears:

# ? Oct 24, 2018 18:49

got any sevens: Feb 9, 2013; by Cyrano4747

Moridin920 posted:

I started this job a few months ago and upon arrival did a somewhat simple if incredibly fiddly bit of scripting (still way beyond anyone else here considering it is not a tech/engineering place whatsoever!) and thus took a task they were doing in 5-6 hours of labor and reduced it to maybe 1-2 hours. Now they are talking about maybe hiring an outsourced company in the Philippines somewhere to do that task as it has been so simplified.

I feel some type of way about this. Like gently caress you don't use my poo poo to enable your outsourcing wtf hire some college kid to do it.

gj doing such a good job you obsoleted yourself so a corporation keeps more profit

# ? Oct 24, 2018 19:12

The XKCD Larper: Mar 1, 2009; by Lowtax

Blue Train posted:

How to weep the weepy weep way

# ? Oct 24, 2018 19:17

The XKCD Larper: Mar 1, 2009; by Lowtax

Tetracube posted:

Love being reminded of this fact

# ? Oct 24, 2018 19:18

fart store: Jul 6, 2018; probably nobody knows
im the fattest man
maybe nobody even
people have told me
and its not me saying this
my gut
my ass
its huge
my whole body
and i have been told
did you know this
not many know this
im gonna let you in on this
some say
[inhale loudly]
im the hugest one.
many people dont know that

Millennials crave condescension and love labels and stereotypes.

You know it would have been awesome if instead they'd doubled down on the original intent of the game, pointing out how terrible and stupid capitalism is. Put a fresh edge on it instead of just painting the board like a nightclub and going "ooh widduw miwweniaw want a latte? Baby wikey yoga?"

e: The participation medal on the box art makes me realize this is for dumb boomers to gag-gift each other. Good job intentionally alienating the only customer base you'll have in ten years, I guess.

fart store has issued a correction as of 19:28 on Oct 24, 2018

# ? Oct 24, 2018 19:24

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Shame Boy posted:

"Not being able to own property" and "Being shut out of upward mobility" is literally what monopoly was about to begin with

Now that people are actually more likely than ever to take the critique of capitalism seriously, the ruling class must go to new lengths to reformulate its flaws as strengths, including even dumb board games.

# ? Oct 24, 2018 19:28

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

got any sevens posted:

gj doing such a good job you obsoleted yourself so a corporation keeps more profit

gently caress lol

# ? Oct 24, 2018 19:28

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Shame Boy posted:

"Not being able to own property" and "Being shut out of upward mobility" is literally what monopoly was about to begin with

I met someone yesterday via work whose bio on their webpage said they wanted to be a real estate investor since the age of 8 because Monopoly was their favorite game.

# ? Oct 24, 2018 19:29

Tetracube: Feb 12, 2014; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Moridin920 posted:

I met someone yesterday via work whose bio on their webpage said they wanted to be a real estate investor since the age of 8 because Monopoly was their favorite game.

ever since I played monopoly at age 8 and felt the thrill of crushing those poorer than me I have wanted to become a real estate investor

# ? Oct 24, 2018 19:36

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

scooby doo taught me that real estate developers are lying scum

# ? Oct 24, 2018 19:41

Feral Integral: Jun 6, 2006; YOSPOS

Bombadilillo posted:

The oil you mix in makes it yellow usually. It also oxidizes yellow over time. Homemade mayo is simple and delicious and does look different.

I wouldnt put it on peanutbutter like a loving monster though.

I always figured hellmans and other store mayos are white because they didn't include the yolks, prob to cut down on the saturated fat or some bullshit

# ? Oct 24, 2018 19:46

mycomancy: Oct 16, 2016

Mordor She Wrote posted:

"Especially with concepts more relevant to earlier eras, like the 1930s-era thimble token or the possibility of upward social mobility."

Holy gently caress this makes me so goddamned mad.

# ? Oct 24, 2018 19:51

The Bloop: Jul 5, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

scooby doo taught me that real estate developers are lying scum

Scooby Doo taught many, many good lessons.

Humans eating dog biscuits is the one real outlier

# ? Oct 24, 2018 20:22

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

The Bloop posted:

Scooby Doo taught many, many good lessons.

Humans eating dog biscuits is the one real outlier

# ? Oct 24, 2018 20:25

mycomancy: Oct 16, 2016

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

First, those "dog biscuits" were obviously full of weed.

Two, that's a pretty good comic.

# ? Oct 24, 2018 20:26

The XKCD Larper: Mar 1, 2009; by Lowtax

Moridin920 posted:

I started this job a few months ago and upon arrival did a somewhat simple if incredibly fiddly bit of scripting (still way beyond anyone else here considering it is not a tech/engineering place whatsoever!) and thus took a task they were doing in 5-6 hours of labor and reduced it to maybe 1-2 hours. Now they are talking about maybe hiring an outsourced company in the Philippines somewhere to do that task as it has been so simplified.

I feel some type of way about this. Like gently caress you don't use my poo poo to enable your outsourcing wtf hire some college kid to do it.

Dude. You should have kept your mouth shut

I did the same thing at a video post production job. I automated 8 hours of work to 1 hour a night, with like extremely basic terminal stuff. The rest of the time I spent reading books, smoking weed on the roof, and learning more programming. It was awesome except for all the poo poo that sucked rear end about working there. I even took on other freelance jobs on the clock lol

# ? Oct 24, 2018 20:30

The Bloop: Jul 5, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

mycomancy posted:

First, those "dog biscuits" were obviously full of weed.

Two, that's a pretty good comic.

Two, I agree.

One, I thought the joke was that the Mystery Machine itself was consistently full of weed and that the munchies were high and Shaggy's standards were low

# ? Oct 24, 2018 21:05

The Dipshit: Dec 21, 2005; by FactsAreUseless

The XKCD Larper posted:

Dude. You should have kept your mouth shut

I did the same thing at a video post production job. I automated 8 hours of work to 1 hour a night, with like extremely basic terminal stuff. The rest of the time I spent reading books, smoking weed on the roof, and learning more programming. It was awesome except for all the poo poo that sucked rear end about working there. I even took on other freelance jobs on the clock lol

# ? Oct 24, 2018 23:14

Siljmonster: Dec 16, 2005; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Moridin920 posted:

I started this job a few months ago and upon arrival did a somewhat simple if incredibly fiddly bit of scripting (still way beyond anyone else here considering it is not a tech/engineering place whatsoever!) and thus took a task they were doing in 5-6 hours of labor and reduced it to maybe 1-2 hours. Now they are talking about maybe hiring an outsourced company in the Philippines somewhere to do that task as it has been so simplified.

I feel some type of way about this. Like gently caress you don't use my poo poo to enable your outsourcing wtf hire some college kid to do it.

No way out. Don't tell your bosses about your automation. If you have nothing to do, pretend like you're working. Or just ask your boss to pretend you're working and go home for the day.

# ? Oct 24, 2018 23:18

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# ? May 29, 2024 20:26

Truga: May 4, 2014; Lipstick Apathy

got any sevens posted:

once you go black

# ? Oct 25, 2018 00:38

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