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baquerd
Jul 2, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Geisladisk posted:

How many 4 years olds would we have to place in the wild to achieve a 95%+ certainty level that one of them would reach adulthood? :thunk:

Roughly 3000 4 year olds would ensure at least 1 would survive at a 95%+ certainty level per a binomial distribution, assuming 0.1% of 4 year olds (4 standard deviations) can survive. There is also an 80% chance that more than 1 of the 3000 would survive!

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life is killing me
Oct 28, 2007

I guess I'm an outlier but as my whole family has iPhones now (besides my stepdad who just refuses to loving let go of Windows phones), we use iCloud photo sharing for all the kids in the family. Both my brothers in law have albums for their kids and we have one for ours and friends and family were all invited to see the albums. We rarely post poo poo on Facebook. iCloud works really well for us.

fake edit: Found out that the past few really brutal nights with our son waking up a lot were probably at least partially due to insane nasal congestion, which we noticed when trying to put him back to sleep. He kept resisting really hard and it became clear that with his paci in he couldn't breathe as well. So we've been NoseFrida-ing the poo poo out of his nose and getting so much mucous out with it that we pretty much need to clean it at least once in one session. Despite its effectiveness it has failed to really relieve his congestion to any noticeable degree and it seems like his sinuses are just full of endless snot--it drips out of his nose constantly too and he puts his hands up there and then in his mouth and then wipes his nose on us so I feel like a cold is forthcoming for at least one of us as well. We're not really sure what we can do for him other than keep using the NoseFrida, use the humidifier, and keep his pack n' play mattress inclined as a makeshift wedge pillow, so would love to know if anyone else does stuff for this that we just haven't thought of? All of these things in conjunction with one another are not really seeming to help much at all so I'm figuring we just have to wait it out. We are debating sending him to daycare Monday unless he's substantially better because we think he GOT the cold from daycare in the first place.

Also, am I the only one who thinks cleaning the goddamn NoseFrida is 100% more gross than actually using it?

skeetied
Mar 10, 2011
We also use iCloud Photo Sharing and it works great.

hooah
Feb 6, 2006
WTF?
Our 3-year-old's been invited to a classmate's birthday. The invite didn't mention gifts one way or the other. What's the best thing to do in this case? Should we ask the parents if we should bring a gift or a card?

Hi_Bears
Mar 6, 2012

hooah posted:

Our 3-year-old's been invited to a classmate's birthday. The invite didn't mention gifts one way or the other. What's the best thing to do in this case? Should we ask the parents if we should bring a gift or a card?

I would definitely bring a gift. You can ask the parent if the kid has a wish list or if there are any specific toys/books that he is coveting. All the birthday parties we've been to didn't mention gifts but everyone brought one.

Rooted Vegetable
Jun 1, 2002

Hi_Bears posted:

a wish list

Actually that reminds me, Christmas wishlists for kids (especially almost one year olds), good idea that cuts down on junk/duplication or presumptuous?

Chili
Jan 23, 2004

college kids ain't shit


Fun Shoe

Heners_UK posted:

Actually that reminds me, Christmas wishlists for kids (especially almost one year olds), good idea that cuts down on junk/duplication or presumptuous?

I made one for our kiddo. By the time the holidays roll around she'll only be 7 months or so. Nobody knows what she already has and it's helpful. I just sent it over to my mom and she forwarded it to the family. It's definitely helpful. Context matters, though, like just slapping a link on a birthday part invitation might be a little presumptuous? I don't know. Personally, as a party-goes, I'd appreciate it. Maybe a "gifts aren't necessary, but if you'd like to get one, we have a running list of things we think our kid would like here" type of deal.

1up
Jan 4, 2005

5-up

Heners_UK posted:

Actually that reminds me, Christmas wishlists for kids (especially almost one year olds), good idea that cuts down on junk/duplication or presumptuous?

I live across the country from both sides of our extended family, so the wishlist is invaluable for us. Once you get over feeling mad douchey offering it to people when they ask for gift ideas, it's so nice getting stuff you 100% know your kid will like. People still buy whatever they want sometimes, but they generally still get great gifts since they use the list for inspiration.

iceyman
Jul 11, 2001

Brought the baby home today and the cat is not thrilled. The cat steers mostly clear of the baby but has hissed a several times. Should I be concerned? How do I get the cat to chill and warm up to the new baby?

Alterian
Jan 28, 2003

Cocks Cable posted:

Brought the baby home today and the cat is not thrilled. The cat steers mostly clear of the baby but has hissed a several times. Should I be concerned? How do I get the cat to chill and warm up to the new baby?

Give the cat a space that's 100% baby free and don't force interactions? With our first kid our cat was pretty scared of him and stayed away. Our second kid the cat doesn't give a gently caress because he knows the deal.

Ben Nevis
Jan 20, 2011
Yeah, one of our cats just spent about 6 weeks hanging out in the office instead of where the baby was. It just takes some time. That behavior was preferable to the cat who would come and get me when the baby cried, up to the point of biting me if I didn't attend to it. It didn't matter if mom had the kid, nope, cat's gonna bite dad to go fix it.

devmd01
Mar 7, 2006

Elektronik
Supersonik

Cocks Cable posted:

Brought the baby home today and the cat is not thrilled. The cat steers mostly clear of the baby but has hissed a several times. Should I be concerned? How do I get the cat to chill and warm up to the new baby?

Feliway, can’t hurt might help.

Good-Natured Filth
Jun 8, 2008

Do you think I've got the goods Bubblegum? Cuz I am INTO this stuff!

Now that it's getting colder, we've been trying to put a blanket on our 3yo daughter at night when she goes to bed. She acts afraid of it though (saying "I don't want the blanket. No no no."), so we usually keep it by her feet and tell her to pull it on if she gets cold. Most mornings when we wake her up, she says she was cold that night, but the blanket is still by her feet. We've tried several different types of blankets with different patterns and materials, but she doesn't want any of them.

She's not getting sick or losing sleep, and she doesn't feel cold when she wakes up. I think she might be saying that because she remembers that we tell her she might get cold at night and repeats it back to us in the morning.

Any ideas as to what could be the issue here or how to resolve it (if it even needs to be addressed)? I'm thinking it's probably just a phase that'll pass (like most things for kids), but curious to hear if anyone else has had similar experience.

Other potentially relevant info, she sleeps in a toddler bed (converted crib without the front railing) in her own room with a red nightlight. She typically has her comfort cloth and a body pillow in the bed with her, but sometimes she'll bring in a stuffed animal with her, too.

Ben Nevis
Jan 20, 2011
If you're really worried, I'd just sneak in after she went to bed and cover her up. Mostly if she's not losing sleep, I wouldn't be too concerned.

Rooted Vegetable
Jun 1, 2002

Good-Natured Filth posted:

we usually keep it by her feet and tell her to pull it on if she gets cold.

...

Any ideas as to what could be the issue here or how to resolve it (if it even needs to be addressed)? I'm thinking it's probably just a phase that'll pass (like most things for kids), but curious to hear if anyone else has had similar experience.

Try:
* Leaving the blanket along one side of the bed, beside her rather than at her feet. It's easier for a sleepy kid to pull that over themselves than reaching to their feet.
* For a few nights, sleep with the blanket in your own bed so it smells a bit like parents.

skeetied
Mar 10, 2011

Good-Natured Filth posted:


Any ideas as to what could be the issue here or how to resolve it (if it even needs to be addressed)? I'm thinking it's probably just a phase that'll pass (like most things for kids), but curious to hear if anyone else has had similar experience.

Dress her in warmer pajamas? My kids are horrific at keeping their blanket on, so they wear fleece footie jammies or sweats and slippers.

This doesn’t really seem like an issue, though.

Geisladisk
Sep 15, 2007

If the kid was too cold she'd wake up and complain. Don't worry about it.

cailleask
May 6, 2007





Some kids don't feel cold. My four year old not only refuses a blanket, but also will only sleep in shorts and a t shirt despite having long johns with her favorite characters on them. She insists she isn't cold.

1up
Jan 4, 2005

5-up

Good-Natured Filth posted:

Any ideas as to what could be the issue here or how to resolve it (if it even needs to be addressed)? I'm thinking it's probably just a phase that'll pass (like most things for kids), but curious to hear if anyone else has had similar experience.

There are big kid sleep sacks but honestly those seem silly. My 4 year old has always hated blankets and will only accept one if she's really, really, really cold. We just put her in warm jammies and call it a day. Last winter we did normal 2 piece jammies + a fleece, footed sleeper over top and that kept her roasty toasty.

Oodles
Oct 31, 2005

I (well, my wife) had another baby two nights ago. I’m now the proud father of four daughters. :aaaaa:

5,4,1 and a newborn. The teenage years are going to be interesting.

It’s amazing how things change the more children you have. 10 hours after giving birth my wife was out taking the eldest to swimming. 10 hours after the first we were still in a state of shock.

I also may have snuck out for a Chinese take away while my wife was in active labour. She also was chowing down on a spring roll between contractions.

Groke
Jul 27, 2007
New Adventures In Mom Strength

Oodles posted:

I (well, my wife) had another baby two nights ago. I’m now the proud father of four daughters. :aaaaa:

5,4,1 and a newborn. The teenage years are going to be interesting.

Jeez that's dense, I have three boys and one girl and they're spread over twice the timespan (the boys are 10, 7 and 4; the girl is six months and pretty much immune to background noise at this point). The stereotypical difference is that brothers supposedly get more into physical arguing and fighting (gods know ours do; then they're best friends again two minutes later; rinse and repeat) while sisters supposedly go more for social conflict and intrigue. We will see.

(I'm goint to have three teenage boys in the house at some point. They will eat all the food.)

Oodles
Oct 31, 2005

They’re approx 1.75 years between. There’s a larger gap between 2 and 3 as we had a miscarriage.

My wife knew she wanted 4, and close together so they could be friends.

It’s mad.

Alterian
Jan 28, 2003

We'll have two teenage boys in our house eventually. I plan to make a lot of casseroles and maybe get back into raising chickens.

Irritated Goat
Mar 12, 2005

This post is pathetic.
Our cat just stayed away mostly while my son was smaller. He's 2 now and gets begged for petting just like mom and dad. :shrug: There were some scratches when he was younger but our son kept right on and never lashed out at our cat. I think we're pretty lucky.

Is it a thing that our son is OK with hitting mom\dad but no one else? When he gets angry, he hits but we've never gotten 1 report he does with anyone else even at daycare. We've tried the Daniel Tiger song. We've repeated every time that hitting is naughty and won't get him what he wants. I've tried calmly talking to him, putting him in time out. I feel absolutely terrible because I know it's my temper he inherited and I struggle with it still.

sheri
Dec 30, 2002

It's totally normal.

You are the people he feels most comfortable with so you get all the crappy behaviors.

And it's not a temper issue, so don't beat yourself up. Hitting out of frustration and/or other big feelings is incredibly normal and developmentally typical for a two year old.

bollig
Apr 7, 2006

Never Forget.
So this is something I've been wondering about. My wife and I are going back and forth about when to have a second one. I'm all for ripping the bandaid off quickly, and do 2ish years in between. My thinking is that then it's all over and based on just like all the people I've known, I feel like the relationship between children at that age gap is better than longer gaps. Her side is that having a two year old and a newborn at the same time would be a waking nightmare, which I honestly have experience with. So she's thinking something like 4 years in between. I suppose it all depends on the kid. But I was wondering if you guys could help flesh out this debate.


Oodles posted:

I’m now the proud father of four daughters.

Congrats, my goodness.

Oodles
Oct 31, 2005

We have just shy of 2 years between each one. It’s crazy, and it would have been much easier if there was a larger gap between them. But we knew we wanted them close together so they were more inclined to play together. It maximises the intensity but minimises the duration.

It would be easy to have one at school and deal with the baby, but when we knew we wanted a few that wasn’t an option as we didn’t want kids spread out over 12 years.

Alterian
Jan 28, 2003

Ours were spaced out so we didn't have to pay two daycares. Those 4 months of no daycare was like having an extra income.

Oodles
Oct 31, 2005

Alterian posted:

Ours were spaced out so we didn't have to pay two daycares. Those 4 months of no daycare was like having an extra income.

Ours are timed such that there’s only ever two in at once. Can’t wait for 5 years till the baby is out of nursery. Might be able to go on a plane for a holiday

Tamarillo
Aug 6, 2009
My first is due in a couple of weeks and because of a variety of contributory circumstances we are probably going to run headlong into another embryo transfer in the first half of next year, so if it all works it'll be an age gap of 16-18 months. I confess I'd prefer to have a larger gap, and I know it's going to be absolutely manic for a while - but we reckon a rock solid relationship and a ton of family support will see us through.

Also growing up my sister was 4 years older than me and we spent most of our childhoods hating each other - I was the annoying little sister who cramped her style, she was the horrible big sister who would snarl at me for existing in her general radius. The 4 year age gap didn't help but I think a lot of it was also down to personality. We didn't actually build a proper relationship with each other until we were adults. On the flip side, my husband is one of eight and he squabbled most with the siblings closest to him in age, and is closest with the ones with the larger age gaps.

Gravitee
Nov 20, 2003

I just put money in the Magic Fingers!
Mine are four years apart and play together regularly. They're both boys so they "wrestle", play blocks, and build forts together. I'm sure once they're older it'll change, but at six and two, it works well.

Daycare was a major reason why they're spaced apart but having two in diapers with erratic sleep sounds awful.

Public Serpent
Oct 13, 2012
Buglord
Our oldest was three and a half when we had the twins and if she had been any younger we would not have survived. We were aiming for about 4 years in between because the oldest is a pretty intense kid, and we wanted her to be of an age where we could talk to her and help her understand what was going on when there was a new baby hogging our time and attention. Also because (anecdotally) my wife and her sister are 4 years apart and are very close, while my sister and I are two years apart and hated each other growing up. Ultimately I think the age difference in itself isn't super important. It's more about what works for you and the kid/s you already have.

Alterian
Jan 28, 2003

I don't think age difference has anything to do with if the kids will be friends or not. I'm the same distance in age to my brother as my husband is to his sister. They are great friends (she was the best man in our wedding) and my brother and I aren't super close.

Panfilo
Aug 27, 2011
Probation
Can't post for 13 days!
Having two kids that are somewhat close in age, where the older is somewhat small for her age and the younger is somewhat big for her age can be convenient in terms of hand-me-downs, and shopping for stuff. Another benefit to kids close in age is that there will be more years they are both in Elementary school, consolidating trips/schedules.

As far as them getting along, I agree it depends on the personality. Some kids will enjoy always having another kid around their age to play/talk with, while others will loathe constantly having to share stuff they want to play with/do. My brother and I were 7 years apart which my mom thought would quash those issues, but it turned out we bickered a lot because there were few common activities both of us could easily do- either he was too little or it was boring baby stuff I didn't want to participate in. There's no guarantee you can rely on an older kid to babysit younger kids either; as a teen I hated watching my brother and was pretty lovely and flaky about it back then.

Hi_Bears
Mar 6, 2012

Our kids will be 2yrs 9mo apart and I don’t think I could have handled any smaller of a gap. I think 3 years hits the sweet spot of the older one being more independent/understanding/helpful while they are still close enough to play together.

sheri
Dec 30, 2002

My neighbor has a 3 year old and an 11 year old and they love each other and play together all the time. My coworker has a 9 year old and a six year old and they are assholes to each other constantly.

I think it's more the personalities of the kids then the ages that determine how well they'll get along or play together.

bollig
Apr 7, 2006

Never Forget.
This has all been helpful. I dreamt last night that we had the second one and I remember being very confused about the timeline.

VorpalBunny
May 1, 2009

Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog
I have four kids, ages 7, 5, 4 and 1. For some reason, the first three were much easier as they were all close in age, everything was babyproofed, etc. Everyone was on similar tracks, activities were all geared towards the same ages, food expectations were similar, it was just somehow easier with everyone basically on the same page. (And I only birthed the first two, the two youngest are foster/adopted).

Now that I have 3 older kids and a toddler, the difference in ages is noticeable and difficult to work with. With the first three I got to the point where I didn't have to worry about baby gates or diapers or bottles, and then we were thrust back into that world with our youngest and I am legit counting the days until she potty trains and can go to daycare. They all get along, and the toddler thinks she is a much bigger kid than she is (and gets frustrated when she can't do the things the big kids can) but I have some relief knowing she is our last. I don't think I could hit the reset button again.

Kitiara
Apr 21, 2009

Hi_Bears posted:

Our kids will be 2yrs 9mo apart and I don’t think I could have handled any smaller of a gap. I think 3 years hits the sweet spot of the older one being more independent/understanding/helpful while they are still close enough to play together.

I agree that 3 years difference is the sweet spot in terms of looking after them. It’s a lot easier having another child when the first is out of nappies and can do things like get the wipes or just help out a bit.

However, my first 2 are 2 years apart and I don’t regret it at all. It was a really hard year and a half, but then they’d go off and play together and life was a lot smoother after. I think I’d you have the support and you can mentally and physically do it (having helpful family nearby or one person staying at home) then go for 2 or less but if not then go for the 3+ age.

Someone once advised me: “make sure to have them all together! Once you experience life without nappies it’s so hard to go back” and it’s so true.

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sullat
Jan 9, 2012
Ours are 20 month apart and then 30 months apart. It's all kind of a haze at this point but yeah, having all three in diapers would have been awful. The eldest took a long time to potty train, but it looks like the third might be done by 3. Due to timing the oldest two are only a year apart at school, which is nice. We did a lot of baby proofing for the first kid, but haven't for the last one since the older kids can get through it pretty easily.

Our youngest initially refuses the blanket at bedtime I think as a rebellion against bedtime. So I usually put ot over her after she's asleep.

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