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Professor Beetus
Apr 12, 2007

They can fight us
But they'll never Beetus

AceOfFlames posted:

A permaban would just make things worse. This is the only place where I can talk about this sort of thing. Where else am I going to go?

I know I bother a lot of people here, but at least here I feel like I don't get dismissed right out of hand. Heck, that Deep Adaptation paper even mentioned people fearing mentioning these views would invite ostracism. I certainly cannot talk about this IRL.

I do not agree with your assessment given that based on your conversations here you tend to ignore the advice and recommendations of people who are much more well-informed than you. If you just need a place to vent you could go poo poo up e/n but really I think not being online so much would be better for your mental health. Lift weights, cook food, gently caress, take walks, get a hobby that doesn't involve consuming media, basically anything besides getting online and reading about how things are hosed.

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Conspiratiorist
Nov 12, 2015

17th Separate Kryvyi Rih Tank Brigade named after Konstantin Pestushko
Look to my coming on the first light of the fifth sixth some day

galenanorth posted:

Edit: Collapse isn't imminent. You probably read that people are saying that in a few years or at some point collapse might be inevitable even if we stopped adding carbon to the atmosphere, but that's not the same thing. Even then, collapse could take hundreds of years, and there's value in fighting the good fight to make sure that humanity can last a few hundred years longer.

Depends on what you mean by collapse, really.

Do you think civilization as it exists now can cope with the prospect of a permanent global economic depression? Because we're well on track for 1.5C by the 2030s, and 2C just a decade later.

And that's loving catastrophic.

Oxxidation
Jul 22, 2007

galenanorth posted:

value in fighting the good fight to make sure that humanity can last a few hundred years longer.

*looks up from the news*

can't say i agree with you there, buddo!

The Dipshit
Dec 21, 2005

by FactsAreUseless

Trabisnikof posted:

350.org makes me laugh in a black comedy kinda way

Yo, where are those NREL white papers you mentioned?

The ones that assert 70-90% intermittent power without massive storage.

AceOfFlames
Oct 9, 2012

DrNutt posted:

I do not agree with your assessment given that based on your conversations here you tend to ignore the advice and recommendations of people who are much more well-informed than you. If you just need a place to vent you could go poo poo up e/n but really I think not being online so much would be better for your mental health. Lift weights, cook food, gently caress, take walks, get a hobby that doesn't involve consuming media, basically anything besides getting online and reading about how things are hosed.

FWIW I think I can handle the bad news much better than I used to. Before this used to literally wreck me for days on end, now it's much more punctual in nature. One day I will find my answer. I know it.

im depressed lol
Mar 12, 2013

cunts are still running the show.
I went down a click-hole after that Deep Adaptation paper and a book was recommended by* this group.

WAYS OF SEEING by John Berger

I'm only the first couple of pages into it, but so far it's very concisely expressing a lot of the issues I've been trying to regarding unconscious interpretation of narratives. It might be useful to some people here. You can find a PDF scan of it on google incredibly easy. There's also youtube uploads of the BBC series I guess this book was based on.

Edit: various typo's

im depressed lol fucked around with this message at 21:04 on Oct 28, 2018

Accretionist
Nov 7, 2012
I BELIEVE IN STUPID CONSPIRACY THEORIES
jeeeese

AceOfFlames posted:

What am I supposed to do differently then?

I remember seeing the phrase, "Try-Fail Cycle," somewhere and it stuck in memory:


You've created a cave called, "think about trying and rationalize why I shouldn't," off to the left of the diagram.

Like, I could summarize your post as, "Hello, I achieve avoidance by intellectualizing and rationalizing. This has left me ill-equipped. I am demoralized."

I just read your post and here's what jumps out at me:

quote:

When I was a kid I thought I was going to change the world and contribute to scientific progress. Then I learn that collapse is imminent.

You've juxtaposed a 'grandiose childhood fantasy' against 'The World Is Ending.' Changing the world requires utterly extreme luck and toil and you very clearly do not want that. But, instead, you went with a juxtaposition against 'the world is ending.'

quote:

I keep hearing things like "live your life", "keep fighting and don't stop" or "spend time with the people you love" but I don't see how I can accomplish any of them with a time limit for human civilization ticking on.

"Changing the world," is probably an over-compensation fantasy, like how the starving dream of feasts.

quote:

"Live your life": I don't have a lot of hobbies. I like the occasional video game, I like reading, I like staying informed about current events, I like discussing deep ideas. All of those will be rendered irrelevant when climate change rolls around. All deep ideas will be forgotten in favor of "hey the bandits are coming" and "the weather might not be poo poo enough to allow us to grow crops". I despise all sports.

You self-describe as idly grazing mental entertainment but it's not enough.


quote:

"Keep fighting the good fight": I don't fight battles I know I will lose. I don't understand the usefulness of a moral victory. I don't believe in any God and thus in my view, we will all simply have our consciousness end no matter what we do. If any God exists and decides that I should be punished for "cowardice", "inaction" or otherwise failing a test I never consented to taking, They are not a God worth worshipping.

Is this how you feel about trying to improve your experience of life?

quote:

"Spend time with the people you love": I was heavily ostracized as a child and thus never learned how to make friends. All friends I have are people who befriended me and they have been slowly moving away since we live in separate countries. My parents are heavily controlling and will likely die before the real bad things happen. If I were to acquire any additional relationships, they would be additional liabilities: people who could either abandon or betray me. Even if they don't do either, they are people I would have to defend from the approaching horrors.

You self-describe as socially incompetent and afraid to try.

quote:

I am currently in therapy but any time I mention subjects such as this or the rise of fascism, I get a clearly rehearsed response of "We are not here to talk about the 'content' of the causes of your problems. What matters is the 'process' in which you deal with them". What am I supposed to do differently then?

Process influences outcome. They're important. If they're sufficiently hosed, you're hosed.

Keep going to therapy.

Wakko
Jun 9, 2002
Faboo!

Epitope posted:

Does this subject make people depressed? Or does it just attract the sad sacks and give them a real world justification for the feelings they have (and would have regardless)

Little bit of column a, little bit of column b, imo. When your ethos is consumerism, being told your consumption is going to go down either voluntarily or involuntarily naturally causes some folks to enter the grieving process. Since consumerism and technofetishism are the dominant religions among the SA demographic, it makes sense we get a good number of the first group.

Flowers For Algeria
Dec 3, 2005

I humbly offer my services as forum inquisitor. There is absolutely no way I would abuse this power in any way.


Wakko posted:

Little bit of column a, little bit of column b, imo. When your ethos is consumerism, being told your consumption is going to go down either voluntarily or involuntarily naturally causes some folks to enter the grieving process. Since consumerism and technofetishism are the dominant religions among the SA demographic, it makes sense we get a good number of the first group.

I can make peace with the fact that my consumption of media will probably drop in the not-so-distant future as long as the last seasons of Game of Thrones and Westworld come out, and Pokémon Go releases the 6th generation and I'm able to complete the Pokédex before the End.

Epitope
Nov 27, 2006

Grimey Drawer

Wakko posted:

technofetishism are the dominant religions among the SA demographic

But you can't even cheer them up saying hey this might be the push we need to start a mars colony. I guess fetish is just jerk off to the idea, not actually want to accomplish anything. Ah well

Sing Along
Feb 28, 2017

by Athanatos

im depressed lol posted:

I went down a click-hole after that Deep Adaptation paper and a book was recommended by* this group.

WAYS OF SEEING by John Berger

I'm only the first couple of pages into it, but so far it's very concisely expressing a lot of the issues I've been trying to regarding unconscious interpretation of narratives. It might be useful to some people here. You can find a PDF scan of it on google incredibly easy. There's also youtube uploads of the BBC series I guess this book was based on.

Edit: various typo's

shocking for me to be saying this, but Brooklyn Culture Jammers is way, way too invested in near term human extinction to the point of praising Guy McPhearson uncritically when he claims that we may be weeks from collapse

Notorious R.I.M.
Jan 27, 2004

up to my ass in alligators
Short of spasmodic war, preparing for some sort of collapse of globalized logistics should target the middle 2030s at the earliest. I say this based on current projections of carbonate undersaturation in the southern ocean and extreme precipitation events on land. By this time, it will be important to be part of local communities that can provide their own food and potable water.

Anything earlier is Guy McPherson-esque wankery.

Sundae
Dec 1, 2005

Epitope posted:

Does this subject make people depressed? Or does it just attract the sad sacks and give them a real world justification for the feelings they have (and would have regardless)

This thread ran out of material three hundred pages ago, and any sane poster not actively trolling the thread is long gone. What you have left are the sad sacks who feel most comfortable when in misery and the people egging them on.

TheCoach
Mar 11, 2014

AceOfFlames posted:

I don't get this line of thinking. Allow me to explain further.

When I was a kid I thought I was going to change the world and contribute to scientific progress. Then I learn that collapse is imminent. I keep hearing things like "live your life", "keep fighting and don't stop" or "spend time with the people you love" but I don't see how I can accomplish any of them with a time limit for human civilization ticking on.

"Live your life": I don't have a lot of hobbies. I like the occasional video game, I like reading, I like staying informed about current events, I like discussing deep ideas. All of those will be rendered irrelevant when climate change rolls around. All deep ideas will be forgotten in favor of "hey the bandits are coming" and "the weather might not be poo poo enough to allow us to grow crops". I despise all sports.

"Keep fighting the good fight": I don't fight battles I know I will lose. I don't understand the usefulness of a moral victory. I don't believe in any God and thus in my view, we will all simply have our consciousness end no matter what we do. If any God exists and decides that I should be punished for "cowardice", "inaction" or otherwise failing a test I never consented to taking, They are not a God worth worshipping.

"Spend time with the people you love": I was heavily ostracized as a child and thus never learned how to make friends. All friends I have are people who befriended me and they have been slowly moving away since we live in separate countries. My parents are heavily controlling and will likely die before the real bad things happen. If I were to acquire any additional relationships, they would be additional liabilities: people who could either abandon or betray me. Even if they don't do either, they are people I would have to defend from the approaching horrors.

I am currently in therapy but any time I mention subjects such as this or the rise of fascism, I get a clearly rehearsed response of "We are not here to talk about the 'content' of the causes of your problems. What matters is the 'process' in which you deal with them". What am I supposed to do differently then?

There won't be a sudden collapse, at this rate it's either a slow decline to misery or some sort of a revolution as the public just can't take it anymore. Either way it's something really far off and all we're likely to see is the beginning of this decline if we live in what is called the first world.

Your main problem is you lack real world people to commiserate about this poo poo. I'd say look up local socialist groups (if you live in a city it shouldn't be difficult to find) so you can at least went and hey maybe even protest for important poo poo. And yes it's likely not going to change much in the big picture but at least you won't be surrounded by doofuses going "frah markits sulv evrithing ERLON MUSK!" at every systemic problem there is.

AceOfFlames
Oct 9, 2012

I am an expat and still dont speak the local language. Working on it though (currently getting the A2 certificate).

Shibawanko
Feb 13, 2013

Aren't you the portuguese guy who moved to holland or is that a different poster?

Nuclear War
Nov 7, 2012

You're a pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty girl
AceofFlame in literally any thread is such a Goon In The Well


[quote=]
OP: "Help! HELP! I'm stuck in a well!!!"
Goons1-4: "Climb! Climb up and take our hands!"
OP: "I'm thinking I should dig... should I dig?"
Goon5: "NO! I was trapped in a well, and digging is a bad idea! Climb out!"
Goons6-8: "Were lowering ropes! Take hold of a rope!"
Goon9: "I've even tied a harness to the end of this one!"
OP: "I can feel the ropes, but I don't want to hold onto them... should I dig?"
Goon10: "No! If you dig, you'll hit water, and then you'll be proper hosed. I should know, I almost drowned."
OP: "I dug a little bit just now, and I haven't hit water. I'm gonna keep digging..."
Goons11-18: "No! Climb! Climb out!"
OP: "Guys, I'm seriously stuck in this well! Help! HELP!!!"
Goon19: "I was trapped in a well once. It took me two years, but I managed to build a climbing machine that pulled me to safety out of a well bucket and a pocket watch. I'm dropping the blueprints, extra buckets, and an assortment of pocket watches."
Goon20: "I've engineered a jet-pack that will rocket you to safety. Stay where you are and we'll lower it down!"
OP: "Thanks for your help, guys. I'm gonna keep digging. I'll find the Mines of Moria and I'll just walk to the surface."
**Goons1-20 piss in the well**
Goon21: "Guys, seriously... stop peeing in the well."
Goon22:"Yeah, like any of you guys have even seen a real well, you neckbearded, WOW-addicted shut-ins."
[/quote]

StabbinHobo
Oct 18, 2002

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
can we get that script made/animated on fiver or something

How are u
May 19, 2005

by Azathoth
Ace sucks and will never accept help or change.

AceOfFlames
Oct 9, 2012

Nuclear War posted:

AceofFlame in literally any thread is such a Goon In The Well

This made me laugh. Thank you so much.

StabbinHobo posted:

can we get that script made/animated on fiver or something

Lightning Knight
Feb 24, 2012

Pray for Answer
Ace if you want to keep posting in this thread, you need to calm the gently caress down lol.

Paradoxish
Dec 19, 2003

Will you stop going crazy in there?

Epitope posted:

Does this subject make people depressed? Or does it just attract the sad sacks and give them a real world justification for the feelings they have (and would have regardless)

No, it definitely makes people depressed.

I went to school for chemical engineering and environmental science, so a lot of the classes I took had people who were going for pure science degrees and a lot of those people were doing environmental/climate concentrations. I've been out of school for years now and none of the people I met and kept in contact with were sad sacks at the time, but a whole lot of them are now. A girl I dated briefly and stayed in touch with called me out of the blue (literally the only time I had spoken to her in years outside of text/email) a couple of years ago in tears because her and her fiancee had decided they couldn't in good conscience ever have children and she didn't know who else to talk to about it. She's doing a phd in some kind of atmospheric research.

A lot of other people I've stayed in touch with basically only ever talk to me about bad news, and that 100% was not true five or more years ago. This is a topic that can really gently caress with you no matter how naturally optimistic you are. The fact that there are people in this thread who just want to have their sadbrains validated probably isn't something that's true on a wide scale.

How are u
May 19, 2005

by Azathoth

Frightening Knight posted:

Ace if you want to keep posting in this thread, you need to calm the gently caress down lol.

He explicitly toxxed a ban that he’d never post in here again. Hit the ?

Lightning Knight
Feb 24, 2012

Pray for Answer

How are u posted:

He explicitly toxxed a ban that he’d never post in here again. Hit the ?

I did ban him, he rebought his account. That is why his avatar is gone.

Evil_Greven
Feb 20, 2007

Whadda I got to,
whadda I got to do
to wake ya up?

To shake ya up,
to break the structure up!?

Frightening Knight posted:

Ace if you want to keep posting in this thread, you need to calm the gently caress down lol.

Ace was a latecomer to the horrors of climate change, read the thread, and it broke him.

e: Speaking of breaking things, guess who won the Brazilian presidency?
Someone who will destroy the Amazon. That means even faster carbon emissions / less sequestration, if he can accomplish it.

Evil_Greven fucked around with this message at 01:54 on Oct 29, 2018

How are u
May 19, 2005

by Azathoth

Frightening Knight posted:

I did ban him, he rebought his account. That is why his avatar is gone.

Oh, I turn off avatars so didn’t realize.

The Dipshit
Dec 21, 2005

by FactsAreUseless

Paradoxish posted:

No, it definitely makes people depressed.

I went to school for chemical engineering and environmental science, so a lot of the classes I took had people who were going for pure science degrees and a lot of those people were doing environmental/climate concentrations. I've been out of school for years now and none of the people I met and kept in contact with were sad sacks at the time, but a whole lot of them are now. A girl I dated briefly and stayed in touch with called me out of the blue (literally the only time I had spoken to her in years outside of text/email) a couple of years ago in tears because her and her fiancee had decided they couldn't in good conscience ever have children and she didn't know who else to talk to about it. She's doing a phd in some kind of atmospheric research.

A lot of other people I've stayed in touch with basically only ever talk to me about bad news, and that 100% was not true five or more years ago. This is a topic that can really gently caress with you no matter how naturally optimistic you are. The fact that there are people in this thread who just want to have their sadbrains validated probably isn't something that's true on a wide scale.

It's rough as hell accepting that, with all the hosed up and crazy poo poo going on in the world, that we're at the top of of a big loving drop in the next few decades.

I mean, I blandly guess that 2/3rds to 3/4ths of humanity's total population will get wiped from it and I try not to think too hard about the implications beyond the fraction itself. There is no real "victory" against this. It's just how hard we can push to reduce the damage.

Also, as self care, I rarely poke into this thread. :v:

Rip Testes
Jan 29, 2004

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Bolsonaro won so forget the Amazon as a carbon sink.

Evil_Greven
Feb 20, 2007

Whadda I got to,
whadda I got to do
to wake ya up?

To shake ya up,
to break the structure up!?

Rip Testes posted:

Bolsonaro won so forget the Amazon as a carbon sink.

Yeah, this ain't hyperbole folks:

I honestly wouldn't be surprised if the Paris accord fell apart rapidly at this point and governments started preparing for the worst.

Admiral Ray
May 17, 2014

Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Evil_Greven posted:

Yeah, this ain't hyperbole folks:


I honestly wouldn't be surprised if the Paris accord fell apart rapidly at this point and governments started preparing for the worst.

Governments aren't going to prepare except insofar as to stab other countries and steal their poo poo.

Evil_Greven
Feb 20, 2007

Whadda I got to,
whadda I got to do
to wake ya up?

To shake ya up,
to break the structure up!?

Admiral Ray posted:

Governments aren't going to prepare except insofar as to stab other countries and steal their poo poo.

Yes, that is a form of preparation. Russia is far ahead of the curve, there.

Admiral Ray
May 17, 2014

Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy
Oh and murder their own vulnerable populations.

brakeless
Apr 11, 2011

Paradoxish posted:

No, it definitely makes people depressed.

I went to school for chemical engineering and environmental science, so a lot of the classes I took had people who were going for pure science degrees and a lot of those people were doing environmental/climate concentrations. I've been out of school for years now and none of the people I met and kept in contact with were sad sacks at the time, but a whole lot of them are now. A girl I dated briefly and stayed in touch with called me out of the blue (literally the only time I had spoken to her in years outside of text/email) a couple of years ago in tears because her and her fiancee had decided they couldn't in good conscience ever have children and she didn't know who else to talk to about it. She's doing a phd in some kind of atmospheric research.

A lot of other people I've stayed in touch with basically only ever talk to me about bad news, and that 100% was not true five or more years ago. This is a topic that can really gently caress with you no matter how naturally optimistic you are. The fact that there are people in this thread who just want to have their sadbrains validated probably isn't something that's true on a wide scale.

I could/should be working on a similiar degree right now and I'm stalled because of serious doubts that I actually have it in me to spend my life basically cataloging depressing poo poo.

Years ago when I was doing my bachelors a professor told me that the IPCC 4.5 RCP was an optimistic scenario, and I thought that surely it was perfectly achievable with 2.6 being maybe too much to ask. :downs:

Evil_Greven posted:

Yeah, this ain't hyperbole folks:


I honestly wouldn't be surprised if the Paris accord fell apart rapidly at this point and governments started preparing for the worst.

lol

nothing matters

AceOfFlames
Oct 9, 2012

Paradoxish posted:

No, it definitely makes people depressed.

I went to school for chemical engineering and environmental science, so a lot of the classes I took had people who were going for pure science degrees and a lot of those people were doing environmental/climate concentrations. I've been out of school for years now and none of the people I met and kept in contact with were sad sacks at the time, but a whole lot of them are now. A girl I dated briefly and stayed in touch with called me out of the blue (literally the only time I had spoken to her in years outside of text/email) a couple of years ago in tears because her and her fiancee had decided they couldn't in good conscience ever have children and she didn't know who else to talk to about it. She's doing a phd in some kind of atmospheric research.

A lot of other people I've stayed in touch with basically only ever talk to me about bad news, and that 100% was not true five or more years ago. This is a topic that can really gently caress with you no matter how naturally optimistic you are. The fact that there are people in this thread who just want to have their sadbrains validated probably isn't something that's true on a wide scale.

My dad also did a PhD in climate change and kept flying around to various conferences. Every time I talk to him about the subject he always sounds oddly optimistic while throwing a bunch of jargon around. He dismissed the IPCC “we only have 12 years” report as “alarmist nonsense” and dismissed Trump leaving the Paris accords with “state regulations will take care of it”. He ended up not finishing his thesis.

Dunno what the hell he’s been doing. I sometimes wonder if he’s hiding the truth because it’s just so terrible.

dex_sda
Oct 11, 2012


Evil_Greven posted:

Yeah, this ain't hyperbole folks:


I honestly wouldn't be surprised if the Paris accord fell apart rapidly at this point and governments started preparing for the worst.

Learn to swim. :(

Nice piece of fish
Jan 29, 2008

Ultra Carp

Rip Testes posted:

Bolsonaro won so forget the Amazon as a carbon sink.

poo poo.

Well, in prepper news me and my girlfriend are seriously considering taking over a family farm and I've got an idea for sustainably working the land using renewable energy and electrical converted farm equipment. Probably unrealistic, but it's interesting to look into and I'd probably feel a lot safer and better from a personal standpoint knowing at least part of my job would be sustainable food production. Too bad farming is a poverty trap these days, but it really feels like something worth investing in. The rational part of me is struggling with it, though, it doesn't make sense economically unless my degree becomes useless in the next 20 years.

Paradoxish posted:

No, it definitely makes people depressed.

I went to school for chemical engineering and environmental science, so a lot of the classes I took had people who were going for pure science degrees and a lot of those people were doing environmental/climate concentrations. I've been out of school for years now and none of the people I met and kept in contact with were sad sacks at the time, but a whole lot of them are now. A girl I dated briefly and stayed in touch with called me out of the blue (literally the only time I had spoken to her in years outside of text/email) a couple of years ago in tears because her and her fiancee had decided they couldn't in good conscience ever have children and she didn't know who else to talk to about it. She's doing a phd in some kind of atmospheric research.

A lot of other people I've stayed in touch with basically only ever talk to me about bad news, and that 100% was not true five or more years ago. This is a topic that can really gently caress with you no matter how naturally optimistic you are. The fact that there are people in this thread who just want to have their sadbrains validated probably isn't something that's true on a wide scale.

And why wouldn't it make people depressed? It's the challenge of the century and because of systemic selfishness, corruption and disregard for democratic will in addition to pure unenlightened self-interest from an entire generation most of the news coming in is how much is being ignored for profits, how the olds who won't live it don't give a poo poo, how there's no way to inflict the externalities of pollution on the polluters (other than in the general sense) and how progress is constantly stalled. As well as all this, there's the constant propaganda/mass media control from the moneyhavers to suppress public opinion and avoid large scale eco-riots.

It looks grim, so people are grim. That said, it doesn't make any rational sense to stop fighting or avoid responsibility or stop trying everything you can to make an impact or a difference. Maybe it's bad, but effort can stop it from getting from bad to worse. I'm not talking about individual carbon savings either, but protesting, getting active about fighting climate change, voting the greenest option and trying to get a proper community going where you live. Go to meetings. Go to events. Get organized and make a village that's about mutual support. No matter how bad it gets, small communities pooling resources are going to be the best off generally speaking. So that's something for sadbrains to do, and if you're depressed about climate change and are having trouble handling it, stop reading this thread and start doing the above. If you refuse or find reasons not to, realize that what you're feeling isn't coming from a rational place and that you are depressed, not that you've reasoned yourself into that everything is hopeless and climate change is gonna get you. In which case go for some therapy and anti-depressive self help first.

incredible flesh
Oct 6, 2018

by Nyc_Tattoo
at the high-tide of night, when the first breath of dawn came upon the wind, the forerunner - he who calls himself echo to a voice yet unheard - left his bed-chamber and ascended to the roof of his house. long he stood and looked down upon the slumbering city. then he raised his head, and even as if the sleepless spirits of all those asleep had gathered around him, he opened his lips and spoke, and he said:

“my friends and my neighbours and you who daily pass my gate, i would speak to you in your sleep, and in the valley of your dreams I would walk naked and unrestrained; far heedless are your waking hours and deaf are your sound-burdened ears

long did i love you and overmuch

i love the one among you as though he were all, and all as if you were one. and in the spring of my heart i sang in your gardens, and in the summer of my heart i watched at your threshing-floors

yea, i loved you all, the giant and the pigmy, the leper and the anointed, and him who gropes in the dark even as him who dances his days upon the mountains

you, the strong, have i loved, though the marks of your iron hoofs are yet upon my flesh; and you the weak, though you have drained my faith and wasted my patience

you the rich have i loved, while bitter was your honey to my mouth; and you the poor, though you knew my empty-handed shame

you the poet with the barrowed lute and blind fingers, you have i loved in self indulgence; and you the scholar, ever gathering rotted shrouds in potters’ fields

you the priest i have loved, who sit in the silences of yesterday questioning the fate of my tomorrow; and you the worshippers of gods the images of your own desires

you the thirsting woman whose cup is ever full, i have loved you in understanding; and you the woman of restless nights, you too i have loved in pity

you the talkative have i loved, saying, ‘life hath much to say’; and you the dumb have i loved, whispering to myself, ‘says he not in silence that which i fain would hear in words?’

and you the judge and the critic, i have loved also; yet when you have seen me crucified, you said, ‘he bleeds rhythmically, and the pattern his blood makes upon his white skin is beautiful to behold’

Yea, i have loved you all, the young and the old, the trembling reed and the oak

but alas! it was the over-abundance of my heart that turned you from me. you would drink love from a cup, but not from a surging river. you would hear love’s faint murmur, but when love shouts you would muffle your ears

and because i have loved you all you have said, ‘too soft and yielding is his heart, and too undiscerning is his path. it is the love of a needy one, who picks crumbs even as he sits at kingly feasts. and it is the love of a weakling, for the strong loves only the strong’

and because i have loved you overmuch you have said, ‘it is but the love of a blind man who knows not the beauty of one nor the ugliness of another. and it is the love of the tasteless who drinks vinegar even as wine. and it is the love of the impertinent and the overweening, for what stranger could be our mother and father and sister and brother?’

this you have said, and more. for often in the marketplace you pointed your fingers at me and said mockingly, ‘there goes the ageless one, the man without seasons, who at the noon hour plays games with our children and at eventide sits with our elders and assumes wisdom and understanding’

and i said ‘i will love them more. aye, even more. i will hide my love with seeming to hate, and disguise my tenderness as bitterness. i will wear an iron mask, and only when armed and mailed shall i seek them’

then i laid a heavy hand upon your bruises, and like a tempest in the night i thundered in your ears

from the housetop i proclaimed you hypocrites, pharisees, tricksters, false and empty earth-bubbles

the short-sighted among you i cursed for blind bats, and those too near the earth i likened to soulless moles

the eloquent i pronounced fork-tongued, the silent, stone-lipped, and the simple and artless called the dead never weary of death

the seekers after world knowledge i condemned as offenders of the holy spirit and those who would naught but the spirit i branded as hunters of shadows who cast their nets in flat waters and catch but their own images

thus with my lips have i denounced you, while my heart, bleeding within me, called you tender names

it was love lashed by its own self that spoke. it was pride half slain that fluttered in the dust. it was my hunger for your love that raged from the housetop, while my own love, kneeling in silence, prayed your forgiveness

but behold a miracle!

it was my disguise that opened your eyes, and my seeming to hate that woke your hearts

and now you love me

you love the swords that strike you and the arrows that crave your breast. for it comforts you to be wounded and only when you drink of your own blood can you be intoxicated

like moths that seek destruction in the flame you gather daily in my garden: and with faces uplifted and eyes enchanted you watch me tear the fabric of your days. And in whispers you say the one to the other, ‘he sees with the light of G-d. he speaks like the prophets of old. he unveils our souls and unlocks our hearts, and like the eagle that knows the way of foxes he knows our ways’

aye, in truth, i know your ways, but only as an eagle knows the ways of his fledglings. and i fain would disclose my secret. yet in my need for your nearness i feign remoteness, and in fear of the ebbtide of your love i guard the floodgates of my love”

after saying these things the forerunner covered his face with his hands and wept bitterly. for he knew in his heart that love humiliated in its nakedness is greater than love that seeks triumph in disguise; and he was ashamed

but suddenly he raised his head, and like one waking from sleep he outstretched his arms and said, “night is over, and we children of night must die when dawn comes leaping upon the hills; and out of our ashes a mightier love shall rise. and it shall laugh in the sun, and it shall be deathless”

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Nice piece of fish
Jan 29, 2008

Ultra Carp
By the way this thread should have a cat or dog tax. Just to cheer us the gently caress up in general.

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
Or jellyfish and flies, as those are two animals that will benefit greatly from climate change.

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StabbinHobo
Oct 18, 2002

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

StabbinHobo fucked around with this message at 13:59 on Oct 29, 2018

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