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Soothing Vapors posted:When I'm picking someone to mediate one of my cases, my first choice is usually a retired judge or a superstar of the local bar. My second choice, though, is almost always an emotionally stunted law student who hates the law and has zero litigation experience, a drinking problem, and severe impulse control issues  evilweasel posted:that's nice, i'm in a course to become a certified nfl quarterback
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Nov 1, 2018 19:17
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evilweasel posted:that's nice, i'm in a course to become a certified nfl quarterback Lmao
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Nov 1, 2018 19:32
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evilweasel posted:that's nice, i'm in a course to become a certified nfl quarterback
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Nov 1, 2018 19:33
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loving amazing https://twitter.com/kriswernowsky/status/1058037461782355968 https://twitter.com/Taz_Atkinson/status/1058037898992332801
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Nov 1, 2018 19:43
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Toona the Cat posted:I’m in course to become a certified mediator and this seems vastly better than actually practicing law. Hope rises again. Why would I hire you when you've got no experience in evaluating a case?
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Nov 1, 2018 19:49
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Soothing Vapors posted:zero litigation experience, a drinking problem, and severe impulse control issues Good enough for the supreme court, though.
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Nov 1, 2018 19:50
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Seriously, mediation is the hardest thing I do. Litigating is easy. Mediating is brutal.
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Nov 1, 2018 19:56
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evilweasel posted:that's nice, i'm in a course to become a certified nfl quarterback Rack 'em.
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Nov 1, 2018 19:57
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Phil Moscowitz posted:loving amazing https://twitter.com/RVAwonk/status/1058043735060242432
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Nov 1, 2018 20:03
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CaptainScraps posted:Seriously, mediation is the hardest thing I do. Litigating is easy. Mediating is brutal. My extremely limited experience with mediators is that they spend lots of time rubbing their temples and asking the parties for "movement on the dollar issue." Then they leave the room and everyone glares at each other. Then they come back and ramble on about their glory days. Later they send their bill, which includes fees for all the time they spent ruminating about the particulars of the case at home, presumably while wearing a robe and smoking a pipe. If you don't have glory days to ramble about how can you expect to fill the shoes of one of these august magistrates?
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Nov 1, 2018 20:04
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evilweasel posted:that's nice, i'm in a course to become a certified nfl quarterback mastershakeman posted:I know you think it's a good idea to play for the bills but it really isn't worth it no matter how much they pay you new thread title, then move this thread to SAS
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Nov 1, 2018 20:22
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All our serious arbitration is in-court and is sometimes mandatory for small bullshit cases. Many a baby lawyer has hosed up their case forgetting that poo poo.
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Nov 1, 2018 20:55
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I'm a qualified mediator because the Course was free to me and totaled like 3 years of carry-over CLE credit.
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Nov 1, 2018 21:47
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blarzgh posted:I'm a qualified mediator because the Course was free to me and totaled like 3 years of carry-over CLE credit. Dude. I wouldn’t tell anybody that I was a QB for the Browns even if you got credit for 3 years in only a few games.
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Nov 1, 2018 21:51
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Lote posted:Dude. I wouldn’t tell anybody that I was a QB for the Browns even if you got credit for 3 years in only a few games. Ah, you see I donate a few days a year to my County's low-cost mediation program, so much like your analogy I'm constantly disappointing people with false hope in a lost cause.
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Nov 1, 2018 21:55
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blarzgh posted:disappointing people with false hope in a lost cause. This would be a great thread title.
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Nov 1, 2018 22:02
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evilweasel posted:that's nice, i'm in a course to become a certified nfl quarterback Speaking of useful job skills, I can now add choreography and dance instruction to my resume right next to team building, event planning, and voice acting. These are all things I have been paid to do as an in house counsel.
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Nov 1, 2018 22:23
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blarzgh posted:I'm a qualified mediator because the Course was free to me and totaled like 3 years of carry-over CLE credit. Free to me is why I’m here. The instructor was one of my professors in a mediation class I took. Basically she said it would enable me to do the mandatory custody and divorce mediation, and some low level federal stuff like SEC disputes. She has a mediation firm and is willing to throw me a few bones.
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Nov 1, 2018 22:23
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How can she throw you bones when both sides to each dispute look at your resume and “Lol no” is the only thing they agree on?
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Nov 1, 2018 22:29
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Soothing Vapors posted:When I'm picking someone to mediate one of my cases, my first choice is usually a retired judge or a superstar of the local bar. My second choice, though, is almost always an emotionally stunted law student who hates the law and has zero litigation experience, a drinking problem, and severe impulse control issues evilweasel posted:that's nice, i'm in a course to become a certified nfl quarterback Close the thread, we're done here. Edit: Toona this is going to be the lovely sequel to the law school saga.
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Nov 1, 2018 22:50
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Look Sir Droids posted:How can she throw you bones when both sides to each dispute look at your resume and “Lol no” is the only thing they agree on? After all, to negotiate a dispute into resolution, the parties will need some common ground
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Nov 1, 2018 22:51
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I love this thread. First hearing in the morning attempting to get a guy released from probation early. Hopefully I can win this thing.
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Nov 1, 2018 23:14
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Toona the Cat posted:Free to me is why I’m here. The instructor was one of my professors in a mediation class I took. Basically she said it would enable me to do the mandatory custody and divorce mediation, and some low level federal stuff like SEC disputes. She has a mediation firm and is willing to throw me a few bones. Ugh. If you need help with family law pm me. Half of it is knowing where agreements break down and how to prevent future fuckups. Seriously I'm so god-damned picky about which mediator for which party.
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Nov 1, 2018 23:25
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I have to use the court mediators for my cases and drill each client on poo poo and the fact they don't have to agree. My county is a recommending county (they do a report of recommendations if no agreement) so half of it is just getting the asks in there. Then they agree to everything, regret it in two weeks, and the court tells them to eat poo poo. The other half of the prep is nailing down all the particulars now before some rear end in a top hat runs with it.
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Nov 2, 2018 00:26
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Mr. Nice! posted:I love this thread. Make a checklist Client finished all conditions No violations No new cases while on probation Of course that could be all for nothing if the PO hates him for whatever reasons.
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Nov 2, 2018 01:18
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Tokelau All Star posted:Make a checklist The PO is brand new to him cause his old one moved down state. His objection is entirely based upon the fact he’s had only one meeting with him and the dude got mad that the new PO didn’t say he was done like the old one said.
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Nov 2, 2018 02:37
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Why is no one posting? I’m at a CLE where the goddamn WiFi is busted.
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Nov 2, 2018 15:34
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be the posting you want to see in the world.
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Nov 2, 2018 15:39
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Won my hearing!
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Nov 2, 2018 15:57
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Look Sir Droids posted:Why is no one posting? I’m at a CLE where the goddamn WiFi is busted. I'm busy at work trying to listen to every single red letter media video . Its gonna be a long slog but I will persevere Also last night was the first time in months I didn't have a drink, I think Halloween cheered me up
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Nov 2, 2018 15:57
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Mr. Nice! posted:Won my hearing! Retire now
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Nov 2, 2018 16:45
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Pook Good Mook posted:Retire now 100% victory record.
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Nov 2, 2018 17:18
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Look Sir Droids posted:Why is no one posting? I’m at a CLE where the goddamn WiFi is busted. Busy dancing. Go dance a little, you'll feel entertained. Mr. Nice! posted:Won my hearing! Good work, knew you had it in you. Celebratory tacos and whisky at the cabin.
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Nov 2, 2018 19:02
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Mr. Nice! posted:Won my hearing! 
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Nov 2, 2018 20:10
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I’m drowning in bank internal compliance checklists (Yuns probably did those a decade ago or whatever) and I’m like two weeks behind on my time. Not like I post here very often anyway. On the bright side, beautiful day outside. I can see it if I get right up against the window in my office and look to the side because otherwise it’s just a view of a building. Go to law school.
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Nov 2, 2018 20:26
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disjoe posted:and I’m like two weeks behind on my time. Noooooo
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Nov 2, 2018 20:58
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Sunlight is for closers
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Nov 2, 2018 21:06
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Vox Nihili posted:Noooooo IT ONLY GETS WORSE THE LONGER YOU PUT IT OFF HEED MY WORDS NEW ASSOCIATES
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Nov 2, 2018 21:09
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disjoe posted:I’m drowning in bank internal compliance checklists (Yuns probably did those a decade ago or whatever) and I’m like two weeks behind on my time. Not like I post here very often anyway.
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Nov 2, 2018 21:15
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Yuns posted:I can't stay away when someone mentions bank compliance and regulatory. We had a borrower fail KYC recently. I’ve never seen that before. Obviously the transaction immediately came to a halt but I don’t know what happened next.
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Nov 2, 2018 21:22
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