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My [F20] boyfriend [M23] makes a lot of 'sound effects'. How should I let him know how much it bothers me? Hi, this is a bit of a strange question/problem. Basically I just want help with this issue because it's gotten worse over the past few months and I'm honestly not sure the best way to go about this. So, my boyfriend of one year (let's call him M) makes a lot of noises out loud. I've nicknamed them 'sound effects'. We get along great in many aspects of our relationship, so I feel silly letting this bother me so much. M will make random sounds while eating, watching a movie, doing a project, just goofing around. This is not something he has done for the entire year we've been a couple, just the past 6 months. He will poke me and say 'boop!' 5-10 times during a movie. He will eat something hot and go "Hot! Hot!" or "nomm". He will sigh randomly and make a 'blubbering' noise. Sometimes he leans in my face and just makes a random noise. The first time he started this behavior I thought it was cute and it made me laugh. However, being poked and 'booped at' repeatedly while just watching a movie gets a bit overwhelming after a few months. Now, I was hesitant to bring this up initially. I know everyone does annoying stuff now and then, and I often worry about how I might be annoying him. However, I've mentioned to him how I don't like certain noises because they stress or gross me out. M has a really BAD nail biting habit and when we are together I try to ask him politely not to do it. I don't think it's an unreasonable request? It's a fairly childish habit, it's quite gross, and it's wrecking his fingers. However, he still often does it. Since he's started the sound effects as well as this, I get so annoyed sometimes I get borderline anxious. My emotions have never been really stable because of anxiety issues, and I need to try very hard to appear 'normal' a lot. I didn't want to outright say how much his behavior annoys me, because I did find it 'cute' at one point so I realize I probably encouraged some of it. So, my plan was to just stop reacting to his behavior. Just not laugh, or smile and maybe change the topic. Sometimes this works sometimes it doesn't. He might keep making a noise until I react or laugh, or eventually drop it. However, it doesn't stop all the noise he makes while just doing stuff like eating or working. Now I'm left with either telling him outright how much his behavior annoys me, or just learning to live with it. M gets upset very easily and is prone to depressive episodes, so if I bring this up I need to do it really carefully, and not when I am already annoyed. I'm not even sure why he's developed all these sound effects in the first place. I'm aware it could be how he just relaxes naturally, or how he releases emotion? But I do know when we first started dating he did not make all of these noises, all the time. Anyway, yeah. Advice? TL;DR My boyfriend makes a lot of sound effects while eating, doing activities, goofing around. I'm nervous to bring it up because he will get upset, so I've tried not reacting to or encouraging the noises but that hasn't helped. He didn't make these noises early on when we were dating, just over the past few months.
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Nov 5, 2018 04:27
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I know the dangers of making the Homer Simpson eating donuts noise too much
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Nov 5, 2018 04:37
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The buried lede is that she's anxious about confronting him because he's prone to depression on being criticized, which dooms this relationship to failure regardless of this particular quirk.
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Nov 5, 2018 04:39
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I used to work with a guy that made sound effects as a tic, but suppressed it around others. If he didn't realize you were in the shop with him, it sounded like a Tex Avery live-reel. He had hella aspergers.
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Nov 5, 2018 05:02
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I make fart noises with my lips nonstop and if anyone directly acknowledges this I will cry for, at minimum, a week still single, llladies
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Nov 5, 2018 05:02
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Straight White Shark posted:CPS is dividing my relationsip Why the gently caress did you let her ex stay with her, you fucktard?! Somebody needs to go back in time and remove the ability for these people to breed. DragQueenofAngmar posted:I mean, probably her abusive husband who also works at the company would become very involved in that immediately if she was the one being investigated tbf In my personal experience with an over-controlling stepparent, so not even that woman's experience, it felt like I could do nothing without it being reported back to her. Telling someone else at work has a chance to get back to him and probably actually has multiple times with things that seemed completely innoculus to the person reporting the incident. That level of smothering does a huge number on your head. She should be gently urged to look elsewhere for another job, though. gently caress. Maybe the company could offer to cover inpatient treatment at a decent private mental hospital to be deprogrammed and taught or retaught coping techniques so she can handle dealing with her divorce and looking for a job at the same time. Hell, use the money that they don't have to pay her husband anymore to pay for her hospitalization and the person she severely hosed over to get a sweet apartment and other expenses the investigation hosed her out of. rear end in a top hat was probably pretty high up in the company. If those people are smart enough to avoid detection when they are just starting their career path, abusers tend to do very well, for some reason.
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Nov 5, 2018 05:12
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Give an HR person an ethical problem and they'll ignore it and hope it goes away forever, frame it as problem of damage control for The Company and watch poo poo get done. Given that Mary already knows about it somehow, pretty soon the whole company's gonna know Jane's the girl whose go-to solution to her problems is to stage an elaborate scheme to wreck her coworkers' loving lives, so really it's lose Jane or lose everybody with a single self-preserving bone in their body. Also fire Mary for insubordination and not hitting performance metrics while she was suspended without pay.quote:I work in a small regional branch of a national company. Since I’ve have been there, our manager has run a very … I don’t know, everything just worked and everyone got along. But last year, that manager retired and recommended the daughter of a friend of his to replace him. She had just graduated with an MBA from a very prestigious university. There was no discussion of whether she was qualified; we thought that his decision must be great, and upper management concurred. A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 05:31 on Nov 5, 2018 |
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Nov 5, 2018 05:16
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Absurd Alhazred posted:In addition, she needs to look at how the statute of limitations clock works for HIPAA/whatever relevant privacy law was being violated by their system not being sufficiently secure, she may be able to file a complaint. Pretty sure it's a class A misdemeanor, i.e. $1k fine and up to a year in jail for princess nosy bones. Which leads me to my next hot take: Nosybones hosed up super bad, and invaded OP's privacy. The punishment was that it literally nuked her whole life, loving destroyed. At what point do you say, "ok, you've been punished enough, maybe I should get over it now?"
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Nov 5, 2018 06:07
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blarzgh posted:Pretty sure it's a class A misdemeanor, i.e. $1k fine and up to a year in jail for princess nosy bones. I believe he was aiming at the company, not the girl. By the way, as far as companies go, for an unknowing violation, it's $100 per violation, with an annual maximum of $25,000 for repeat violations minimum. Maximum of $50,000 per violation, with an annual maximum of $1.5 million. It can be much, much worse, depending on how actually negligent the company was. Source: https://www.ama-assn.org/practice-management/hipaa-violations-enforcement I don't even do something with extreme access to healthcare files and they beat into me how you don't gently caress with HIPAA on any level. I can't imagine how astronomically stupid you have to be to do it anyway.
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Nov 5, 2018 06:37
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blarzgh posted:At what point do you say, "ok, you've been punished enough, maybe I should get over it now?" When she is dead and you feet stand firm upon the ashes of her life. I may have been a problem for game theory inspired economics professors.
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Nov 5, 2018 06:37
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blarzgh posted:Pretty sure it's a class A misdemeanor, i.e. $1k fine and up to a year in jail for princess nosy bones. When her reputation is in tatters and people drag her at her own funeral.
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Nov 5, 2018 06:44
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blarzgh posted:At what point do you say, "ok, you've been punished enough, maybe I should get over it now?" Never, if you don’t feel like it. Whatever consequences she is suffering are 100% on her, and have nothing to do with you. You’re not required to like her or forgive her just because she has hosed herself over. If you’re not going to forgive her, though, it’s pretty weird to keep hanging out with her.
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Nov 5, 2018 06:50
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blarzgh posted:Pretty sure it's a class A misdemeanor, i.e. $1k fine and up to a year in jail for princess nosy bones. Every time that she has any kind of medical treatments she has to fully divulge all of that poo poo to OP Each instance has to be written out on top off an ice cream cake and hand-delivered to OP with an "I'm Sorry" card full of money
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Nov 5, 2018 06:52
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What is best in life?
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Nov 5, 2018 07:04
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Hellblazer187 posted:If no money is changing hands and no sex is happening, dude is just friends with a gigolo. Nothing wrong with that. Just a bro with a funny job. Yeah it could totally just be a bro job but more likely it's a brojob
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Nov 5, 2018 07:31
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Xik posted:Is this really anything to do with gender or sexual identity? Seems like maybe he is just like extremely obsessed with some celebrity and should probably get some help with that. Sorry for double posting but there are actually tons of straight cis men who also like doing drag. If Anna Kendrick 2.0 wasn't so mired in American puritanism he could just be himself and also Anna Kendrick, no problem
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Nov 5, 2018 07:57
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My husbands ex crashed our wedding and ruined it My now husband and I got married 3 days ago. We are gay men in our early thirties. Right before we said our vows his ex girlfriend stalked into the church and started screaming that my husband was marrying a man because she "showed him that he can't handle a strong woman". She stalked up and started screaming in my face about all sorts of personal things (to give an idea, she said in front of all our families that my husbands penis was too small to do anything). In honestly felt like out of a movie. My brother finally managed to get her to leave, but after that everything was really thrown off. We made it through the ceremony and when we got to the reception around half the guests left early, approaching us and apologizing but saying that they felt uncomfortable with the dramatics. Is there anything I can do legally? Husband is embarrassed and upset.
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Nov 5, 2018 08:09
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Parents (40) threw quite the show when they found I (21F) I went to a music festival for two days with my bf(22) and found out I was having sex. So I still live with my parents because they let me while I finish school. I work my own job, pay my gas, phone, & personal items. They won’t accept rent or water/electricity bills. I do good in school, and I help with my brothers taking them to school every day. I let my parents know in advance that I was going to a music festival and staying there with my bf for two days. My dad always pretends to forget so he had me repeat myself the day I left of where I was going. They said I better be home by the time the festival finishes, again I told them I was coming back until the next day. So we go and are having a good time (mind you I’ve never been to a concert or things like this) when I get a ton of messages and phone calls from my parents asking if I was gonna go home and if I didn’t it will be bad. My mom started saying that I’m a girl from her house (Niña de casa, we're Mexican) and that it looks bad for me to sleep with my bf, she threatened me saying that she will tell my dad about the condoms she found. Which she did tell him because that’s when he started calling me non stop. I ignored them because i wanted to have a good time and i told them so I didn’t know why they were acting like this. But then my mom texted said that my dad was on his way to my bfs house and they were gonna heat things they didn’t like. That’s when I told my bf to just let’s go (we had already paid for hotel btw so that money went to waste too) and I called my dad telling him why he had to do that if I wasn’t doing anything bad, he said I better go home or he will go their house. He also said that he would go all the two hour drive to pick me up. My mom also called me disrespectful and uneducated in a sense of household rules. So we left. And I havnt talked to them. So my mom thought I was kidding when I said I was staying for two days and not sleeping home, she said they care about me and that’s why they acted like that. I told her that they should trust me not to do something stupid. She said That if I were to get pregnant I would be the one loosing. The thing is that me and my bf got educated on protection and we use condoms and other methods. We both have money saved up for or own personal needs. We both go school and have good grades. I’m just at a loss right now cause I don’t know why they acted so dramatically, I don’t do anything bad I am responsible and I told them. Also, every time I go out, which 8/10 times is to study at my bfs house, and even then they text me constantly saying I should go home already. When all I’m doing is studying because i can’t study at home. I want to know if what they did is reasonable, if I am in the wrong. I don’t know what’s normal anymore. TL;DR My parents got really mad that I was going to sleep outside of my house with my bf for a music festival, they threatened me to go back home and almost went to his parents house.
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Nov 5, 2018 08:29
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:I make fart noises with my lips nonstop and if anyone directly acknowledges this I will cry for, at minimum, a week This made me laugh on stark juxtaposition with the previous posts, which is hard to express with multiquotes On a phone
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Nov 5, 2018 08:33
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Smirking_Serpent posted:Parents (40) threw quite the show when they found I (21F) I went to a music festival for two days with my bf(22) and found out I was having sex. Actual content aside, is this the first time in this thread that someone has cited cultural expectations from their parents and actually TOLD REDDIT WHAT THE CULTURE INVOLVED IS? For some reason the fact that nobody does that is hugely obnoxious to me, like if you specified where your parents were from you could get advice from people who were also raised in that environment, like this lady is getting. So counterproductive.
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Nov 5, 2018 09:07
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Mister Olympus posted:Actual content aside, is this the first time in this thread that someone has cited cultural expectations from their parents and actually TOLD REDDIT WHAT THE CULTURE INVOLVED IS? People frequently specify their family’s origin. Sometimes it will be a little vague, like “strict Southeast Asian culture,” but plenty of times they’ll just say “Indian,” “Chinese,” “Korean,” etc.
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Nov 5, 2018 09:29
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Mister Olympus posted:Actual content aside, is this the first time in this thread that someone has cited cultural expectations from their parents and actually TOLD REDDIT WHAT THE CULTURE INVOLVED IS? It's reddit, they're morons. But sometimes some stars burn with blinding ferocity: My penis is small. quote:My SO and I are about to have sex. I'm kinda nervous because my penis is small and she'll like, make fun of me or wouldn't want to do it. Any advice for me? internal monologue: I am about to get laid, I should probably post about it on reddit.
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Nov 5, 2018 09:30
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Is it wrong to want to seriously distance yourself [24F] with your mom [58F] because she committed credit fraud on you? So I’m currently living at home to save money and build my credit. I just checked my credit score and found out a card was opened in my name and has been used ($275 out of $1500) balance. Called my mom and she said she opened it. What the gently caress? So mom ends up driving up to my workplace and we go to her car to talk and it was a very frustrating conversation. Her arguments were: “You were there when I was applying for credit cards for you” BLATANT LIE, no such thing happened. “ I thought that it was in my name as well and I was trying to build my credit” LIE, this isn’t even a thing. “I’ve done so much for you. I didn’t think it would be a big deal for me to do this” what the hell? “I always made the payments on time” “I said I’m sorry. What do you want me to do? Are you going to keep beating this into the ground?” She then started crying “ everyone is always against me. I always catch it. You’re so mean to me” She got mad when she found out I told my dad (they’re married). Of course I told my dad! I need some freaking guidance! This whole incident has reinforced my fear that she doesn’t respect me as an adult. I’m more eager now than ever to move out. I just had a 2nd interview for a position out of state and god I hope I get it. I’m so mad at her, it was hard for me to stay composed when I was talking to her. What should I do? I’ve canceled the card and reported it as fraud. Where do I go from here? She is now texting me, telling me I was a bad daughter to her and mean to her. She said she’s not going to “kiss my butt”. Lol what?? I initially forgave her but this morning the way she reacted made me regret my forgiveness. She basically tried to call me an awful daughter and that I didn’t respect her. I know that the whole reason she is saying this is because I caught her with credit fraud. We got in a big argument today, lots of yelling, and she threw stuff at me. I’m so disgusted with her, I don’t want anything to do with her at this moment. Here’s the thing, she isn’t a bad mom. But I suspect she had bipolar disorder and is a compulsive liar. She’s just not a very rational human being. I love her but I’m kind of disgusted by her behavior. Tl:DR My mom opened and used a credit card in my name without me knowing. When confronted, she was unable to really see the error in her ways. What the hell do I do now?
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Nov 5, 2018 09:51
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Smirking_Serpent posted:Parents (40) threw quite the show when they found I (21F) I went to a music festival for two days with my bf(22) and found out I was having sex. Mexican parents can be loving insane when it comes to their daughters. I’ve seen some crazy poo poo first hand. Like she should be lucky that’s all that happened. She just needs to realize it’s going to be like this till she moves out and even then it’s probably going to be like this.
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Nov 5, 2018 13:01
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Smirking_Serpent posted:Is it wrong to want to seriously distance yourself [24F] with your mom [58F] because she committed credit fraud on you?
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Nov 5, 2018 13:10
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Veni Vidi Ameche! posted:Never, if you don’t feel like it. Whatever consequences she is suffering are 100% on her, and have nothing to do with you. You’re not required to like her or forgive her just because she has hosed herself over. Yeah, she's definitely not obligated to forgive her just because she claims to feel bad about it now. The other lady's a real dumbass, what the hell did she think was going to happen? It seems like the only reason they're still hanging out is because of her boyfriend, so she really needs to dump this guy, otherwise she is always going to be a part of her life. Especially if her boyfriend is living with them. But she probably won't do anything and will just silently be miserable.
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Nov 5, 2018 14:18
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Reddit commenters on that thread are more than slightly insane about the whole "my house, my rules" thing. Taking it to the nth degree. Is this an American thing? 'cause it'd be considered crazy to basically be a slave because you stay with your parents here.
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Nov 5, 2018 14:23
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I (33F) am not sure what to make of my BF's (27M) porn habits anymore and it's starting to really affect our relationship.quote:Hi Reddit! Thanks for reading.... My BF is a pretty amazing guy, we're been together almost 2 years and we have a wonderful relationship - best one of my life! He's a pretty sexy guy and loves attention, getting it pretty easily. I'm equally as sexy and twice as jealous. He deals with customers for his job, so he is constantly being propositioned and courted. He will generally flirt a little but always turns them down saying he has a GF. Cue Redditors pinning the blame on OP for 'not setting boundaries,' because apparently you have to specifically discuss not jacking it to real people over Skype chat 
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Nov 5, 2018 14:24
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I (20F) am hopelessly in love with my TA (23M)quote:(Throwaway for obvious reasons) Honestly I have no idea how this happened to me, I am actually ashamed; i never thought I'd be one of these girlsbut guess what: I am. My Chem TA is the most wonderful person I have ever met and I am crazy about him. He is exactly my type; everything about him is everything I have ever been looking for. He has the cutest smile, most beautiful laugh, the same dreams as me, same humor, is open minded, obviously rather smart... He's just exactly the type I fall for... I can't stop thinking about him and all the adorable thing he says. But it's also affecting me in a very negative way, because there is clearly no future here. Although he laughs at my jokes, plays special attention to me and seems actually interested in everything I do/say/my life, there is no way he could be into me. It makes me so sad to think that I won't be able to see him anymore aftr the end of the semester and I truly don't know how I'll deal with it. One part of me wants to ask him at the end of the semester, but I know there is no way. But on the other hand, i will literally be incredibly sad to let "him go". He is the only thing I look forward to. Cue Redditors encouraging this girl to put the moves on her TA and check seduction subreddits 
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Nov 5, 2018 14:31
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Theophany posted:I (20F) am hopelessly in love with my TA (23M) Christ, everyone who takes a job at a university gets at least an hour long lecture of DON'T gently caress THE STUDENTS. ESPECIALLY DON'T gently caress THE STUDENTS YOU'RE DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE FOR.
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Nov 5, 2018 14:55
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:Thieving piece of poo poo newly minted MBA Talk to your co-workers, all of you file police reports for theft.
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Nov 5, 2018 15:03
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Bored posted:Why the gently caress did you let her ex stay with her, you fucktard?! Sure but then you try to get a little more proactive about it and then they call you a Nazi
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Nov 5, 2018 15:13
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Antinumeric posted:Reddit commenters on that thread are more than slightly insane about the whole "my house, my rules" thing. Taking it to the nth degree. Is this an American thing? 'cause it'd be considered crazy to basically be a slave because you stay with your parents here. Its very American and why youll constantly see stories of people stretching themselves financially to move out of their parents home or putting up with insane illegal requirements from landlords.
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Nov 5, 2018 15:37
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Smirking_Serpent posted:Is it wrong to want to seriously distance yourself [24F] with your mom [58F] because she committed credit fraud on you? This entire post is moot, since OP doesn't seem to realize that reporting the card as fraudulent isn't just going to magically close it and clear it from her credit report. It's going to open an investigation, and it's probably going to be immediately clear that her Mom committed the identity theft. Can just imagine the post on the estranged parents forum. quote:My daughter LIED to FBI(!!) saying I committed IDENTITY THEFT because I was HELPING HER with her CREDIT!!!!
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Nov 5, 2018 16:16
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Araenna posted:This entire post is moot, since OP doesn't seem to realize that reporting the card as fraudulent isn't just going to magically close it and clear it from her credit report. It's going to open an investigation, and it's probably going to be immediately clear that her Mom committed the identity theft. Can just imagine the post on the estranged parents forum.
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Nov 5, 2018 16:53
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Smirking_Serpent posted:My [F20] boyfriend [M23] makes a lot of 'sound effects'. How should I let him know how much it bothers me? Boyfriend has undiagnosed autisism. Telling him the noises annoys you or breaking up with him would be abuse. Mister Olympus posted:Actual content aside, is this the first time in this thread that someone has cited cultural expectations from their parents and actually TOLD REDDIT WHAT THE CULTURE INVOLVED IS? "other country" or "home country" seems to be the standard.
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Nov 5, 2018 16:54
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Araenna posted:This entire post is moot, since OP doesn't seem to realize that reporting the card as fraudulent isn't just going to magically close it and clear it from her credit report. It's going to open an investigation, and it's probably going to be immediately clear that her Mom committed the identity theft. Can just imagine the post on the estranged parents forum. 
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Nov 5, 2018 16:58
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I'm not saying Jane deserved to have the poo poo beat out of her... But she does now. Also take all her money.
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Nov 5, 2018 17:04
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My (26M) girlfriend of 10 months (25F) has been spending more time with pigeon than mequote:Okay so a little backstory: And that pigeon's name was Pete.
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Nov 5, 2018 17:48
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Tell your girlfriend you think she's going to go to hell. Yep, that's one way to end it forever. Oh wait, you're blaming a bird 
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