|
This is an artists rendering of a crab. Apparently people used to smash open the carapace and suck out the innards with butter. The purpose of this ritual and of this animal is unknown. |
#
?
Oct 21, 2018 02:34
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 24, 2024 00:02 |
|
|
|
ShinyBirdTeeth posted:This is an artists rendering of a crab. Apparently people used to smash open the carapace and suck out the innards with butter. The purpose of this ritual and of this animal is unknown. The purpose of every living thing is to be eaten. Some people have organ donor cards. I have a "please cannibalize me" card.
|
|
#
?
Oct 21, 2018 13:00
|
|
|
Bury me in BBQ sauce. |
|
#
?
Oct 21, 2018 16:26
|
|
|
|
Hitting my head on a low chandelier and swearing eternal vengeance |
|
#
?
Oct 21, 2018 23:41
|
|
|
|
Becoming a mastermind supervillain with plans of world destruction due to a single incident where I bumped my head on a chandelier hanging above the dining room table at my grandma's house |
|
#
?
Oct 21, 2018 23:42
|
|
|
Sucking blood from the paper cut on my finger I think, "You've made a powerful enemy today, Shiny Bright Paper Company. A powerful enemy." |
|
#
?
Oct 21, 2018 23:58
|
|
|
albany academy posted:Becoming a mastermind supervillain with plans of world destruction due to a single incident where I bumped my head on a chandelier hanging above the dining room table at my grandma's house "Why, Mr. Bond? Why? The same reason someone would hang a chandelier with a five foot clearance. Because no one thinks of anyone but themselves! I am merely honest with myself." |
|
#
?
Oct 21, 2018 23:59
|
|
|
|
the villain laughs maniacally as he jabs the button, launching the stolen nuclear warhead towards the town where the chandelier factory is located. the henchman quails and murmurs "my god, boss . . . that chandelier must have done something terrible to you." the villain's laughter ends as abruptly as it began. "it was . . . my father." "what . . . what did the chandelier do to him?" "he says he was careless, and should have waited for the bulb to cool down before replacing it," says the villain, trembling with rage as he watches the missile's blip fly across the radar screen. "but I know better."
|
|
#
?
Oct 22, 2018 00:10
|
|
|
|
"you know that low clearance step could really use some kind of visual indicator." I say, slowly getting back up and dusting myself off. "Hard to see otherwise. Wouldn't want someone else to trip on that, say while carrying a cup of coffee? Some person less well adjusted than myself might think this would be reason enough to murder your entire loving family you loving piece of poo poo motherfucker." |
|
#
?
Oct 22, 2018 00:19
|
|
|
I smack my lips and say, "Well, I guess that jug was sugar free tea...Has anyone seen my notebook?" |
|
#
?
Oct 22, 2018 00:42
|
|
|
Adobe's licensing was created by a supervillain, but how many supervillains has it created? |
|
#
?
Oct 22, 2018 00:43
|
|
|
|
ShinyBirdTeeth posted:Adobe's licensing was created by a supervillain, but how many supervillains has it created? i refuse to google it but there must be some story or other out there where open source software people are portrayed as literal superheroes
|
|
#
?
Oct 22, 2018 01:04
|
|
|
Is GIMP DC or Marvel? |
|
#
?
Oct 22, 2018 01:59
|
|
|
youtube is actually a peer-to-peer site where people have to maintain a 1.0 (upload/download) ratio or they get kicked out. also (probs been done b4) me
TheShrike fucked around with this message at 03:22 on Oct 23, 2018 |
|
#
?
Oct 23, 2018 03:20
|
|
|
lining up before work to do the pledge of allegiance to the Firm |
|
#
?
Oct 23, 2018 04:09
|
|
|
A dystopian future where devastating hugs are the weapon of gladiatorial combat LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MUTANTS AND WARLOCKS IN THE CORNER OF FIRE IS JACOB WETTERLING, WHO WHISPERS EXTREMELY PERSONAL AFFIRMATIONS INTO HIS OPPONENTS EARS, MAKING THEIR SOUL WEEP AND IN THE CORNER OF BLADES IS MITCH JACKSON, SPECIALIZING IN GIVING THE FOREARM GRIP POST HUG, STARING DEEPLY INTO HIS OPPONENTS EYES UNTIL THEY REALIZE JUST HOW VALUABLE THEY ARE AS A PERSON, NOT JUST TO MITCH, BUT TO THEMSELVES, CATHARSIS THAT DROPS THEM TO THEIR KNEES |
|
#
?
Oct 23, 2018 13:25
|
|
|
the legendary bear hug that started ww1
---------------- |
|
|
#
?
Oct 23, 2018 23:12
|
|
|
A sense of warmth and peace that just wrecks a motherfucker. |
|
#
?
Oct 24, 2018 01:14
|
|
|
|
Gofundme, but you can make requests.ShinyBirdTeeth posted:A sense of warmth and peace that just wrecks a motherfucker. Reading this makes me feel this. |
|
#
?
Oct 27, 2018 04:25
|
|
|
her: *walks by* me: drat, girl. what are some cute ways that your pets have unique personalities? her: *tries to ignore me, keeps walking* me: that's cold, shawty. yo, mercury's out of retrograde, do you know some interesting facts about essential oils? me [following her]: it'd be reasonable to support my partner's juice cleanse if it seems important to her her: JUST LEAVE ME ALONE me [shouting after her]: it;s neat when dresses have pockets |
|
#
?
Oct 29, 2018 09:23
|
|
|
Cubone posted:her: *walks by* lol |
|
#
?
Oct 29, 2018 21:14
|
|
|
|
Cubone posted:her: *walks by*
|
|
#
?
Oct 29, 2018 21:25
|
|
|
Final Spooktober Jokes A spooooOOoooky tax bill A haunted jock strap A vampire teenager who wears garlic cologne to be edgy A dog bitten by a werewolf becomes a canisman A mummy rehydrating in a glass of water like those dinosaur shaped sponges Falling in love with a sexy jack o lantern *** Poorly thought out "Sexy" costumes: Sexy Dental Surgeon Sexy Speech Therapist Sexy Dead Possum Sexy Grimace Sexy Gritty (do not quote reply with a picture) *** How the gently caress do skeletons smoke weed? *** Threads we should have posted: Halloween at my Orthodox Satanist Household My Culture is Not a Costume and other Dispatches from Hogwarts at this Time of Year Finally a time to shine for my horrific injuries *** Halloween costumes in hell: Reasonably Dressed Angel Reasonably Dressed Evangelist Sexy Grimace |
|
#
?
Oct 30, 2018 01:00
|
|
|
|
ShinyBirdTeeth posted:Sexy Gritty (do not quote reply with a picture)  you're not the boss of me!
|
|
#
?
Oct 30, 2018 01:06
|
|
|
NOOOOOO |
|
#
?
Oct 30, 2018 01:26
|
|
|
halloween as orthodox satanist has potential
---------------- |
|
|
#
?
Oct 30, 2018 03:04
|
|
|
got any sevens posted:halloween as orthodox satanist has potential Feel free to run with it if the spirit moves you, friend. |
|
#
?
Oct 30, 2018 03:37
|
|
|
|
got any sevens posted:halloween as orthodox satanist has potential |
|
#
?
Oct 30, 2018 04:58
|
|
ShinyBirdTeeth posted:Feel free to run with it if the spirit moves you, friend. these spider webs arent good enough, they must be spun by a black widow at midnight ---------------- |
|
|
#
?
Oct 30, 2018 23:29
|
|
|
|
Plant a dingleberry and it grows into underpants |
|
#
?
Oct 30, 2018 23:46
|
|
|
Roll Play the New Neo-Medieval Ages soon to come A sheet of soft vellum reading, "Mighteth I entice you to squeeze a buttock?" A trebuchet flinging a fifty pound stone with a scowling emoji carved into it. A Boston Dynamic robot working a wooden butter churn. |
|
#
?
Nov 1, 2018 23:06
|
|
|
A stained glass window with a conspicuous yellow band on one arch. |
|
#
?
Nov 1, 2018 23:07
|
|
|
|
a series of pages arrives at your castle bearing scrolls that contain 140 characters or less
|
|
#
?
Nov 1, 2018 23:14
|
|
|
watching a YouTube video on how to do a self trepanation with a kit from Amazon to release the evil spirits in my skull |
|
#
?
Nov 1, 2018 23:18
|
|
|
Netflix and chill because hay is a terrible insulator |
|
#
?
Nov 1, 2018 23:31
|
|
|
make the thread bird teef |
|
#
?
Nov 1, 2018 23:38
|
|
|
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3873170 |
|
#
?
Nov 2, 2018 00:24
|
|
|
|
Saying the name "Phoebe" wrong in ways that lead to embarrassment, but since it's always written Phoebe the reader can't tell so it all has to be implied, and it escalates to levels of humorous absurdity. |
|
#
?
Nov 9, 2018 02:18
|
|
|
|
FactsAreUseless posted:Saying the name "Phoebe" wrong in ways that lead to embarrassment, but since it's always written Phoebe the reader can't tell so it all has to be implied, and it escalates to levels of humorous absurdity. good idea, pls provide some gifs of phoebe |
|
#
?
Nov 9, 2018 02:23
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 24, 2024 00:02 |
|
|
|
Manifisto posted:good idea, pls provide some gifs of phoebe |
|
#
?
Nov 9, 2018 02:26
|
|