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To be fair, I know a guy at the gym who looks like he's 30, but really he's almost 65. He's a retired software exec, and I think he just took really good care of himself from early on. He doesn't have that weird bat creature look that facelifts give you, so I don't think he's having work done either.
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Nov 14, 2018 15:44
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Audax posted:You may want to consider the uhhh depression part of your quest. Being alone with no human contact for extended periods can suck, even for introverts. Whenever my wife goes away on a long weekend or something without me, I'm always like "hell yeah I'm gonna do this up bachelor style and smoke weed and play video games and eat buffalo chicken subs all weekend" and then by the end of it I'm a sadbrained mess Except literally last weekend, which was the first time I've had a weekend to myself since getting a dog. I'd say anon should get a dog but that would probably get in the way of his "sublet rooms in 3BRs from Craigslist for cheap short-term housing" scheme
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Nov 14, 2018 15:45
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The stop aging thing happened to my great grandpa but it kicked in later like when he was in his late 40s. He still died. Dad was basically under the impression it was some form of satanic pact.
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Nov 14, 2018 16:23
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SniperWoreConverse posted:The stop aging thing happened to my great grandpa but it kicked in later like when he was in his late 40s. He still died. Dad was basically under the impression it was some form of satanic pact. Yeah, I think some folks just have good genes and fewer vices.
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Nov 14, 2018 16:25
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Rad-daddio posted:Yeah, I think some folks just have good genes and fewer vices. Nope, as a 162 year old, I can confirm it's Satan.
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Nov 14, 2018 20:51
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OutOfPrint posted:Nope, as a 162 year old, I can confirm it's Satan. poo poo man, when you look at it like that, God's the real con-artist here......
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Nov 14, 2018 21:52
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Rad-daddio posted:Yeah, I think some folks just have good genes and fewer vices. I dunno man dude did him some drinkin from time to time. I'd say it wasn't a particularly clean lifestyle.
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Nov 14, 2018 21:59
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I knew a guy who was 95 and looked like he was 50. Full head of black hair, great skin, still fit. He ascribed his longevity to eating an entire head of garlic every single day.
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Nov 15, 2018 05:18
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Sagebrush posted:I knew a guy who was 95 and looked like he was 50. Full head of black hair, great skin, still fit. He ascribed his longevity to eating an entire head of garlic every single day. How was his breath?
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Nov 15, 2018 12:19
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Sagebrush posted:I knew a guy who was 95 and looked like he was 50. Full head of black hair, great skin, still fit. He ascribed his longevity to eating an entire head of garlic every single day. helluva trade off.
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Nov 15, 2018 17:53
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Only got one today, but you guys are gonna like who it isquote:Married hot coworker goon here, again. Yeah buddy I keep telling you to poo poo or get off the pot, and yet here you are, sitting on the toilet, not making GBS threads, taking up the entire stall all goddamn day My theory is either (a) she's feeling guilty, (b) she's being young and idealistic and sees this as making an effort to make friends with her new fling's family without considering the whole adultery angle, or (c) you're right about the cuckquean fetish thing Comedy option: she's angling toward a three-way proposal which your wife will absolutely not be into and which will tank your marriage
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Nov 15, 2018 18:02
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when you get stabbed by your soon to be ex wife, I will laugh at you dorky mcdickdipper
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Nov 15, 2018 18:08
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Holy poo poo, is there such a thing as a "cuckqueen"? I've never seen the inverse of that dynamic. I've always just seen people on r/relationships talking about it from the male side. Either way, that guy is hosed. There's no way that his office fling doesn't end up telling his wife, or at least dropping a bunch of hints to lead his wife in that direction.
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Nov 15, 2018 18:18
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He's going to come home to his kid's rabbit boiling in a pot of water on the stove. EDIT: Anongoon remember the Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique from Kill Bill? After getting punched with it, the victim's heart explodes after taking five steps. That's what you've done to your marriage. It may stay alive a little longer, but eventually, inescapably, you're going to take that fifth step. Congrats! OutOfPrint fucked around with this message at 18:33 on Nov 15, 2018 |
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Nov 15, 2018 18:24
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Rad-daddio posted:Holy poo poo, is there such a thing as a "cuckqueen"? I've never seen the inverse of that dynamic. I've always just seen people on r/relationships talking about it from the male side. We live in a corrupt and decadent society; there is such a thing as everything
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Nov 15, 2018 18:30
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Married goon just needs to figure out how to get his sister-wives on board and then he's set.
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Nov 15, 2018 18:42
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Tell your kids your wife is having an affair with your coworker! Preemptive strike that poo poo!
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Nov 15, 2018 19:14
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i know i've said it before but the only way to fix this is to cut your dick off that'll immediately break up the relationship with hot-office-girl and probably destroy the friendship shes making with your wife. It's the obvious solution really.
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Nov 15, 2018 19:18
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I think you need to get into polyamory, anon. This could be the one time that it is actually the best option.
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Nov 15, 2018 19:19
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quote:I asked her about the disturbingly large strap on that was in her bedside drawer, and she said it was for her ex, and that she'd be more than happy to use it on me if I wanted. I didn't. pussy
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Nov 15, 2018 19:26
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"Oh, that? Yeah, that's my ex's........We....we can try it if you want...."
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Nov 15, 2018 20:32
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She wiped it off with a wet wipe, what's the big loving deal?
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Nov 15, 2018 21:32
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She’s gaining the trust of the wife, so when she says “I hosed your husband last night” she’ll have no reason to doubt her. Unless he starts paying.
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Nov 15, 2018 22:49
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Horse Clocks posted:She’s gaining the trust of the wife, so when she says “I hosed your husband last night” she’ll have no reason to doubt her. Ding ding ding! That's a smart move for blackmailing this schmuck. Dude's gonna get hosed harder than when she tells him she'll squeal if he doesn't let her peg him with a didlo thicker than his arm.
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Nov 15, 2018 23:07
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loquacius posted:Only got one today, but you guys are gonna like who it is Oh good, my soap's on! Moridin920 posted:pussy he said strap-on. You're thinking of a fleshlight.
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Nov 15, 2018 23:08
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OutOfPrint posted:Ding ding ding! That's a smart move for blackmailing this schmuck. Dude's gonna get hosed harder than when she tells him she'll squeal if he doesn't let her peg him with a didlo thicker than his arm. Yeah, if you approach this from a creative-writing perspective that was undeniably a foreshadowing device known as "Chekhov's strapon"
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Nov 15, 2018 23:13
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Going to have to check this thread in two weeks when it all crumbles and results in the classic standoff of blackmail vs confessing.
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Nov 16, 2018 00:43
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loquacius posted:Yeah, if you approach this from a creative-writing perspective that was undeniably a foreshadowing device known as "Chekhov's strapon"
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Nov 16, 2018 03:43
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loquacius posted:Yeah, if you approach this from a creative-writing perspective that was undeniably a foreshadowing device known as "Chekhov's strapon" Ha ha holy poo poo! Also, I'm curious about what this guy does for a living. He says he works at some small place that makes some special part, but there's only two people there most of the time and they come and go whenever? Do they make nuclear warhead part er something?
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Nov 16, 2018 04:57
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loquacius posted:Yeah, if you approach this from a creative-writing perspective that was undeniably a foreshadowing device known as "Chekhov's strapon" the return of frankie
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Nov 16, 2018 05:08
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There's a kind of suprising amount of weird little places that make or just do niche things and have only a few people and got strange corp culture
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Nov 16, 2018 07:45
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loquacius posted:Only got one today, but you guys are gonna like who it is I'm the kind who thinks the best of everyone, so I gotta say its probably (b). She is happy being a side piece, and is trying to make sure that the status quo is maintained. Just ride it out married goon, even if she is plotting, its too late anyway, so may as well just roll with the best and be happy as long as it lasts.
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Nov 16, 2018 13:35
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Fintilgin posted:the return of frankie
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Nov 16, 2018 13:43
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Fintilgin posted:the return of frankie yep, this is exactly where my head went on that last fesh however good this fesh is, it will never be as good as that
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Nov 16, 2018 13:58
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Fintilgin posted:the return of frankie What was the frankie fesh?
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Nov 16, 2018 19:39
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Rad-daddio posted:What was the frankie fesh? https://forums.somethingawful.com/dictionary.php?act=3&topicid=1639 edit: wasn't a fesh, was a series of threads in GBS. Nocheez fucked around with this message at 19:45 on Nov 16, 2018 |
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Nov 16, 2018 19:41
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loquacius posted:a foreshadowing device known as "Chekhov's strapon" new thread title
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Nov 16, 2018 20:09
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loquacius posted:Yeah, if you approach this from a creative-writing perspective that was undeniably a foreshadowing device known as "Chekhov's strapon" If there's a strap-on over the fireplace in the first act, somebody BETTER get hosed by it in the third.
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Nov 16, 2018 21:22
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Chekhov's Hung
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Nov 16, 2018 21:27
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loquacius posted:Only got one today, but you guys are gonna like who it is Guess she wasn't hot for some dad-bod after all. Of course she had some other fetish she was fulfilling. Have fun with this, the more you squirm, the more she gets off.
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Nov 17, 2018 06:47
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