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Soysaucebeast posted:My dad did this. Once they're finished they cremate you and then dispose of your ashes in the ocean. They also send out a nice certificate to the remaining family. I plan on doing it myself when I finally die. When my grandpa on my dad’s side died I was working for Barnes and Noble and I got a fern and gift card sent to me and the fern label was signed by the district manager which seemed so unexpected and the message on it written out so long I think I cried. I also got two paid days off for the funeral
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Nov 20, 2018 19:48
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I'm partial to the Neptune Memorial Reef which mixes your cremains with concrete to construct artificial reef. It's thriving! If you're set on leaving a permanent mark you can at least leave it somewhere where it'll do good for the planet.
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Nov 20, 2018 20:28
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Aesop Poprock posted:I do sometimes think it’d be cool to come back as a tree or a caterpillar that’s probably just gonna be eaten but I wouldn’t even notice. But I feel like “middle class white gay American” is probably my high water mark if that’s how karma works and I don’t feel a need to redo it Being gay in Trump's America is the high point? What the hell did you do?
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Nov 20, 2018 20:37
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Besesoth posted:I say having done no research: I wonder how much of American funeral culture is due to our (government's) propensity for getting into overseas wars and the shock of WWI and WWII specifically, and families dealing with vast numbers of soldiers never making it home to be buried. 0%. WWI did help to hasten the end of mourning culture (sequestration, elaborate sumptuary rituals), but that was in no way shape or form only or even primarily an American thing chernobyl kinsman has a new favorite as of 21:00 on Nov 20, 2018 |
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Nov 20, 2018 20:58
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Wasn't the rise of embalming in modern America largely spurred by the Civil War and having to get your Johnny home on the train to be buried on his plantation? You know, without becoming a pile of sludge in the heat.
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Nov 20, 2018 21:44
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Aesop Poprock posted:I do sometimes think it’d be cool to come back as a tree or a caterpillar that’s probably just gonna be eaten but I wouldn’t even notice. But I feel like “middle class white gay American” is probably my high water mark if that’s how karma works and I don’t feel a need to redo it Dude, if you like that you should cross your fingers to get the "straight" card next time. I've literally smiled my way out of getting arrested before. Middle class straight white guy life is loving awesome. I have no idea why everyone doesn't do it. Seems kinda silly. 
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Nov 20, 2018 22:00
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Okay so being a dude and swinging a dong everywhere while getting my way with smiles would be fun, but like why not be some majestic murderbird or a shrike or something? Fly all over, murder and eat things them poo poo them on rich peoples' cars, seems pretty metal to me.
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Nov 20, 2018 22:20
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HelloIAmYourHeart posted:You need to read Mary Roach's book "Stiff" because the things they do with donated bodies is pretty wild and goes way beyond letting med students learn anatomy, stuff like using bodies as real crash test dummies. Maybe I'm alone in this but I think being pureed to make cars and whatnot safer for other folk is mad cool as hell, especially if they put a button on my chest that makes all my extremities pop off when it's punched.  M_Sinistrari posted:When the relatives who got Dee Dee's cremains said they just flushed them down the toilet really hammered it home how they all felt about her. drat, that's ice cold. I mean she deserved it but still, god drat.
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Nov 20, 2018 22:53
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Jessica Mitford is the expert on how lovely the American funeral industry is: The American Way of Death https://g.co/kgs/HoL7Ff (Sorry for the ugly link, I'm on mobile)
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Nov 20, 2018 22:57
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Bad Angus! Bad!
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When I die I want my body to be used by a mad scientist and become patient zero in the outbreak that destroys humanity for good.
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Nov 20, 2018 22:57
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Scathach posted:Okay so being a dude and swinging a dong everywhere while getting my way with smiles would be fun, but like why not be some majestic murderbird or a shrike or something? Fly all over, murder and eat things them poo poo them on rich peoples' cars, seems pretty metal to me. I'm thinking pet dog. Your job is to look cute, make people happy, and not poo poo on the floor too often.
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Nov 20, 2018 23:01
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If I have the money, I'd like a sealed and heavily reinforced casket designed to survive whatever geological upheaval the cemetery is expected to go through the next few thousands years, and then be mummified and buried with a thick tome consisting of printouts of the most mundane wikipedia articles possible, with the aim of making a far future archaeologist team really loving happy when they dig me up.
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Nov 20, 2018 23:07
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ToxicSlurpee posted:I'm thinking pet dog. Your job is to look cute, make people happy, and not poo poo on the floor too often. If we're going straight up "whatever you want" then I'm gonna say it would be pretty awesome to be a space shark. I'm assuming they exist, so I would like to be one. Space sharks are also really good at music too, so you wouldn't get bored swimming around the darkness of space eating comets.
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Nov 20, 2018 23:44
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Asehujiko posted:If I have the money, I'd like a sealed and heavily reinforced casket designed to survive whatever geological upheaval the cemetery is expected to go through the next few thousands years, and then be mummified and buried with a thick tome consisting of printouts of the most mundane wikipedia articles possible, with the aim of making a far future archaeologist team really loving happy when they dig me up. Gotta be careful, or you’re going to end up with a coffin full of articles about Sonic the Hedgehog and lightsabers. I’ve told my wife that I want to be cremated and have some of my ashes sent to space because it is in all likelihood the only way I could ever afford to go there. She wants to do neither, so I’d better die last.
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Nov 21, 2018 00:47
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Asehujiko posted:If I have the money, I'd like a sealed and heavily reinforced casket designed to survive whatever geological upheaval the cemetery is expected to go through the next few thousands years, and then be mummified and buried with a thick tome consisting of printouts of the most mundane wikipedia articles possible, with the aim of making a far future archaeologist team really loving happy when they dig me up. This, but the same long text translated into as many languages as possible, along with documentation about each language and a statement to the future from a native speaker. I've...probably thought too much about this.
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Nov 21, 2018 00:54
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I have it literally written into my will that I am to be buried with my gaming dice box and my hand forged broadsword. This is ostensibly so if an afterlife exists and I meet friends I can play d&d with them, or fight enemies if I meet them. But really, it’s just to gently caress with future archaeologists.
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Nov 21, 2018 01:19
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Camrath posted:I have it literally written into my will that I am to be buried with my gaming dice box and my hand forged broadsword. This is ostensibly so if an afterlife exists and I meet friends I can play d&d with them, or fight enemies if I meet them. But really, it’s just to gently caress with future archaeologists. You're just going to be stuck eternally LARPing.
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Nov 21, 2018 01:21
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Brawnfire posted:You're just going to be stuck eternally LARPing. Assuming heaven is real.
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Nov 21, 2018 01:32
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Wrap your self in authentic bronze age leathers and tools, but swallow a Tamagotchi before you're buried and cross your fingers you mummify.
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Nov 21, 2018 01:39
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Camrath posted:Assuming heaven is real. doesnt sound like heaven to me
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Nov 21, 2018 01:57
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Heaven is a holodeck
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Nov 21, 2018 02:07
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Lot of bas in the thread gonna be really disappointed when returning to their bodies in the duat at night. Seriously, though, harvest every usable organ in me and use the rest as fertilizer for a nice garden. I want my death to help life thrive.
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Nov 21, 2018 02:54
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Nah, too much. I want silliness. I want The Colonel from Monty Python to come put a stop to it.
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Nov 21, 2018 03:14
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subpar anachronism posted:Wasn't the rise of embalming in modern America largely spurred by the Civil War and having to get your Johnny home on the train to be buried on his plantation? You know, without becoming a pile of sludge in the heat. This is generally believed to be the case by both historians of the US Civil War and historians of the US funeral industry. There were fucktons of ads for newfangled caskets and the like in newspapers during the Civil War, is all I know.
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Nov 21, 2018 03:33
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AlbieQuirky posted:
This made me think of the Woman in the Iron Coffin, a mummy found in New York of a free African American woman who died in the 1850s of smallpox and was so well preserved that the construction workers who found her thought they'd discovered a recent murder victim. She was buried in an airtight iron coffin designed to prevent decay for transporting bodies long distance. Researchers eventually determined she was mostly likely Martha Peterson, who worked for the brother-in-law of the name who invented the iron coffin. https://www.thevintagenews.com/2018/10/08/iron-coffin/ They did a bunch of MRI scans on her body and apparently smallpox also causes lesions INSIDE the body as well as on the skin, and no one ever knew until now.
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Nov 21, 2018 03:58
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Interior lesions, eh? Can't wait for that global resurgence.
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Nov 21, 2018 04:11
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Brawnfire posted:Interior lesions, eh? Can't wait for that global resurgence. Here's an unnerving story: I know an anti-vaxxer who claims she GOT SMALLPOX back in her home village in Mexico and she's just fine so it's like no big deal!!!
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Nov 21, 2018 04:50
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Unnerving smallpox content: every so often people find smallpox scabs in old envelopes, which then have to be turned over to the CDC. So far none of them have been hazardous*, but imagine accidentally contracting smallpox from going through old letters and medical journals. *e: further reading on the 2014 Bethesda case revealed that the samples did contain viable smallpox virus, but the samples were destroyed in 2015 with no infections reported coronatae has a new favorite as of 05:07 on Nov 21, 2018 |
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Nov 21, 2018 05:03
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HelloIAmYourHeart posted:What a loving disgrace and a further violation of the victim. Gotta wonder how many women in the courtroom were wearing similar underwear, too. My wife is an attorney in the U.S. (not criminal though, but that would be supreme irony) and she keeps a drawer of thongs specifically for in-court appearances, for reasons I haven't asked about but I'm sure fly in the face of this ridiculous decision
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Nov 21, 2018 05:28
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Drunk Nerds posted:My wife is an attorney in the U.S. (not criminal though, but that would be supreme irony) and she keeps a drawer of thongs specifically for in-court appearances, for reasons I haven't asked about but I'm sure fly in the face of this ridiculous decision wait what
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Nov 21, 2018 05:59
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ravenkult posted:wait what Wouldn't want any VPL while your backside is facing the court.
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Nov 21, 2018 06:01
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Drunk Nerds posted:My wife is an attorney in the U.S. (not criminal though, but that would be supreme irony) and she keeps a drawer of thongs specifically for in-court appearances, for reasons I haven't asked about but I'm sure fly in the face of this ridiculous decision I feel I should tell you: courts are closed on weekends.
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Nov 21, 2018 06:43
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HelloIAmYourHeart posted:This made me think of the Woman in the Iron Coffin, a mummy found in New York of a free African American woman who died in the 1850s of smallpox and was so well preserved that the construction workers who found her thought they'd discovered a recent murder victim. She was buried in an airtight iron coffin designed to prevent decay for transporting bodies long distance. Researchers eventually determined she was mostly likely Martha Peterson, who worked for the brother-in-law of the name who invented the iron coffin. Almond Fisk! Also created the coffin in this case. Creepy.
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Nov 21, 2018 06:50
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DemonDarkhorse posted:you could always do what this particular tribe in malaysia does and unbury the dead to live with them some more. caution for corpse pictures. indonesia isn't part of malaysia lol that article is rad though, it also has wooden effigies of the dead just for hanging around with, pretty great
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Nov 21, 2018 08:22
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Edgar Allen Ho posted:Heaven is a holodeck heaven is a halfpipe
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Nov 21, 2018 09:02
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Honestly? If I couldn't go for the repository of knowledge burial, I'd want my bones to be used to make jewelry.
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Nov 21, 2018 09:06
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Having elaborate and unusual plans for your body after you die is really egotistical. Just let your loved ones decide what's best for them. I say this as someone who attended the funeral of a young father killed in a traffic accident who had requested to be buried in a clown costume with Monty Python songs playing. It was excruciating.
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Nov 21, 2018 09:43
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Necrothatcher posted:Having elaborate and unusual plans for your body after you die is really egotistical. Just let your loved ones decide what's best for them. It’s my party and I’ll die if I want to
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Nov 21, 2018 10:08
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fruit BOO!ts posted:It’s my party and I’ll die if I want to Having thought about it a bit more I guess there's a big exception if you're trans and there's going to be a conflict between family and friends/partners over which name/gender you'll be buried as. But man wacky funerals are never as fun as they sound.
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Nov 21, 2018 10:22
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Necrothatcher posted:Having elaborate and unusual plans for your body after you die is really egotistical. Just let your loved ones decide what's best for them. I know a few people who have requested that Always Look On The Bright Side of Life be played at their funeral. It's a good funeral song.
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Nov 21, 2018 10:26
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