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Space Kablooey
May 6, 2009



I never had to deal with wills and testaments in any capacity, but I feel like this lawyer is really bad at his job.

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Cardiovorax
Jun 5, 2011

I mean, if you're a successful actress and you go out of the house in a skirt and without underwear, knowing that paparazzi are just waiting for opportunities like this and that it has happened many times before, then there's really nobody you can blame for it but yourself.
You can tell that this is mature game with a dark and edgy setting by the fact that lawyers exist in it.

DoubleNegative
Jan 27, 2010

The most virtuous child in the entire world.
The library in Insurgence is full of puns. Real bad ones... and a lot of them at that.

Would you guys like me to show all of them off? It's basically a game of "Name a book title, but use a pokemon in place of one word" and it kinda owns.

EDIT: To wit...

ApeHawk
Jun 6, 2010

All the NPCs will look up and shout, "Do this quest!"
and I'll whisper, "Sure, why not."
The Art of Wartortle

Blaze Dragon
Aug 28, 2013
LOWTAX'S SPINE FUND

DoubleNegative posted:

The library in Insurgence is full of puns. Real bad ones... and a lot of them at that.

Would you guys like me to show all of them off? It's basically a game of "Name a book title, but use a pokemon in place of one word" and it kinda owns.

EDIT: To wit...



This is the kind of content you can't skip, man. We need to know this high-level literature.

Zeratanis
Jun 16, 2009

That's kind of a weird thought isn't it?
The Grapes of Poliwrath

Radio Free Kobold
Aug 11, 2012

"Federal regulations mandate that at least 30% of our content must promote Reptilian or Draconic culture. This is DJ Scratch N' Sniff with the latest mermaid screeching on KBLD..."




Lord of the Combees

Ubiquitous_
Nov 20, 2013

by Reene
A Tale of Two Clefairies

Cardiovorax
Jun 5, 2011

I mean, if you're a successful actress and you go out of the house in a skirt and without underwear, knowing that paparazzi are just waiting for opportunities like this and that it has happened many times before, then there's really nobody you can blame for it but yourself.
One flew over the Crobat's nest.

Some Numbers
Sep 28, 2006

"LET'S GET DOWN TO WORK!!"

Zeratanis posted:

The Grapes of Poliwrath

I think the one is literally there.

Rabbi Raccoon
Mar 31, 2009

I stabbed you dude!
Animorphs: But With Pokemon

Am I doing it right?

limeicebreakers
May 1, 2017

Radio Free Kobold posted:

Lord of the Combees Cutieflys

Cardiovorax
Jun 5, 2011

I mean, if you're a successful actress and you go out of the house in a skirt and without underwear, knowing that paparazzi are just waiting for opportunities like this and that it has happened many times before, then there's really nobody you can blame for it but yourself.
A joke about a series of young adult novels where the protagonists gain Ditto powers is actually something I can see Pokemon doing.

The Golux
Feb 18, 2017

Internet Cephalopod



The Phantump of the Opera

Ubiquitous_
Nov 20, 2013

by Reene
Of Rattata and Men

Commander Keene
Dec 21, 2016

Faster than the others



To Kill a Chatot.

BlazeEmblem
Jun 8, 2013

Uh oh. Do I use Ariadne thread or Goho-M?

DoubleNegative posted:

The library in Insurgence is full of puns. Real bad ones...

Please show off all of them. Bad puns are the best puns :allears:.

Randalor
Sep 4, 2011



Wartortle and Peace
The Houndooms of Tindalos
The Yamasque of the Red Death

Lotus Aura
Aug 16, 2009

KNEEL BEFORE THE WICKED KING!

Randalor posted:

The Houndooms of Tindalos

The Kingdra in Yellow.

Zeratanis
Jun 16, 2009

That's kind of a weird thought isn't it?

Some Numbers posted:

I think the one is literally there.

Honestly I wouldn't be surprised but it was the one that popped right in my head. :v:

Been talking to DN and I've thrown my guesses at him as he's recorded, and here they. Some have been confirmed/denied but I won't say which ones, minus one:

The Adventured of Huckleberry Finneon
Catcher and the Raichu
A Clash of Kingdra
Luvdisc World
Mr.Mime Kampf <--- This one thankfully denied. Cause if it was... :shepface:
The Mewtwo Gentlemen of Verona
Portrait of a Ledyba
The Oddishy
Therese Rayquaza
Storm of Reggisteel
Madam Braviary

Lyumia
Nov 7, 2018

Glutton for Punishment

Cardiovorax posted:

You can tell that this is mature game with a dark and edgy setting by the fact that lawyers exist in it.

It would be kinda funny to have a terrible spin off Pokemon show in the style of something like judge Judy or Ace Attorney tho

Also Klinkwork Orange. I tried.

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

Rabbi Raccoon posted:

Animorphs: But With Pokemon

Am I doing it right?

Pokemorphs is real fanfiction. I don't mean humans becoming pokemon I mean yerks and everything.

FoolyCharged
Oct 11, 2012

Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

The sum of all fearows

Gruckles
Mar 11, 2013

Fifty Shades of Kyurem

Regalingualius
Jan 7, 2012

We gazed into the eyes of madness... And all we found was horny.




Endure’s Game

Balache404
Aug 2, 2018



The Adventures of Huckleberry Finneon

ChrisBTY
Mar 29, 2012

this glorious monument

For the record: some of these are correct.

Ubiquitous_
Nov 20, 2013

by Reene
Dunesparce

Commander Keene
Dec 21, 2016

Faster than the others



The Lord of the Rings: Return of the Seaking

serefin99
Apr 15, 2016

Mikoooon~
Your lovely shrine maiden fox wife, Tamamo no Mae, is here to help!

Commander Keene posted:

The Lord of the Rings: Return of the Seaking

The Lord of the Ursarings

DoubleNegative
Jan 27, 2010

The most virtuous child in the entire world.


Hello everyone and welcome back. Today's update is kinda weird. It's content lite, but is fairly long just because of all the goofy books in the library. If you hate puns you probably won't like this update. You also probably hate fun.



The library has a bunch of screens, but there's really no need to post the maps. It's just a bunch of bookshelves.







It begins... the great punnening. There are a lot of them. A lot.



We'll come back to Zac here in a while. First, we're in a library and there's a bunch of books to look at!





I have no idea when Insurgence is supposed to be set. It's nowhere near the mainline games, though. It's a good few decades in the future of those.



I'm not gonna comment on each pun or we'd be here all day.



About half of the books have this text.







drat right I do!

Diglett and Dugtrio beneath the surface.

and Dugtrio below the ground:



The book ends there. The timing on that joke is amazing.







plague around the nation.







Excuse me? The cults can bypass all known laws due to religious reasons? :psyduck: That makes absolutely no sense!





I'm skipping most of this one. It's just a list of professors from the first 6 generations.





I guess Insurgence happens in the manga universe where Red is the legendary best?





...Cofagrigus?



The game namedrops several members of the Elite Four with books written by them about their preferred strategies. I'd say it's foreshadowing, but we're still a good... 50? 60 hours? away from meeting any of them. So all you know right here is that some jerk named London knows about Trick Room.



strongest moves.



:crossarms:

This move tutor teaches the following moves:

Bind
Snore
Covet
Super Fang
Endeavor
Last Resort
Block
Role Play
Gastro Acid
Worry Seed
After You
Helping Hand
Swift
Endure
Double Edge
Baton Pass

Like many other things in Insurgence, someone who knows what they're doing could make use of a few of these moves. I don't have the patience to set up something like Baton Pass.









legendaries.



I have no idea what the Infinity Ball even is. Ancient Balls are sadly postgame only items. But given we will have basically zero need of them until then, I guess it works out. There's only a single one available before the postgame, and it's in one of the last routes you visit.

I did some googling for the Infinity Ball and all that came back were ancient reddit posts and some very sketchy sites that I didn't even bother to click on.







pokemon battle for money.

negative stigma.

:psyduck:



Did you play Platinum? Congratulations, then you know what this book says. It's just the story of how Giratina was banished to the Distortion World.







reason.







What? I have no idea what the gently caress this book is talking about.



This is the book the old woman was looking for. So if we return to her, we can get paid!



was, due to a difference in definitions.







user.

Agatha? Really?











This means that a shuckle Artix has just as much of a chance to win the race as Speed Deoxys. Also I'm cutting out many parts of these longer books because the information isn't pertinent. Also because I'm trying to save on as many screenshots as I can. This update is gonna be monstrous anyway.



I guess that's a more polite way to ask us to keep quiet. At least Lori Beth Denberg isn't in here.



That's the first room down. Just four more to go! What, you thought I was kidding when I said there were a lot?





There's a bunch of paintings of Jaern on the wall. They all have Scooby Doo painting eyes.







Despite what I said earlier, Cindy actually isn't a member of the Elite Four. She's just some rando who knows about entry hazards.





Sinnoh's cosmological beliefs.

Nope. I'd make a joke, but it's too easy.





Who the gently caress is Tobias?















I think I get different things out of these games than other people do. I'm just not interested in competitive battling.





I find it interesting that many of these books were written in the past year.



More Elite Four members!









"Humans."

pokemon in the world.









The strategy of "use diverse types with a wide variety of moves" is a well guarded secret.











The weird draw of TVTropes before... well...





This isn't mentioned anywhere, but you can walk up this ladder!



This is the edgy section.





I appreciate the forbearance of the writers for not going into details.





to free it.



from the population.









It's a textbook for learning latin.







I think we know where Nora's been spending her time!





No, she's got the summoning down pat. She's just so worthless that Darkrai doesn't care.







This whole section is sick.



Let's get outta here.







Two down... by the way, we're at the point where I'd normally be wrapping up things.





My mother used to facilitate my fascination with video games. She'd buy me all sorts of guides with titles like this. I actually think I used to own one called this.



their defenses and much more.

this information is top secret.

Yeah, that was about the quality of those tips in the guides too. :v:



The third Elite Four member!







Someone must have written this after playing GTA5, because the "tip" inside is to invest in pokeballs before buying a shitload of them.



I also skipped like 7 text boxes.



The black belt in town wanted this. So we can get that Cacturnite!









gently caress yeah!























This is Delta Budew and it's Dark/Fairy type. I plugged that information into my handy dandy calculator here and...



This is a pretty loving dangerous pokemon. Look at that list of resistances and immunities. To quote the wiki... It evolves into Delta Roselia when leveled up with high friendship during the night, which evolves into Delta Roserade when exposed to a Dusk Stone. Its abilities are Shadow Dance (speed doubles during New Moon, Heliophobia (loses 1/8 HP per turn in harsh sunlight, restores 1/8 during New Moon), and Inner Focus (Hidden; Can't flinch). Meanwhile Roselia and Roserade get Limber (Hidden; No paralysis.

This line is another fairy-based special attacker. It not only has the stats to make it work, but its move set complements its stats. It appears to be pretty loving good. I didn't use it in my first run, but I'm giving it serious thought now.



I don't have a good nickname, so I didn't bother. But soon...



Before we continue to the last room and get on with the waiting story, let's get paid for our detective work.











Mega Cacturne gets Sand Rush. (Boost's speed in a sandstorm) Its BST also goes up by 100. Both attacks go up by 30 points each, both defenses up by 10 each, and speed by 20.





Kind of a desert bandit look. I like it!







Money is always appreciated. This buys a couple rounds with the level 50 Audinos we unlocked with the third badge.



Anyway... here's the last pun room.







There's some good jokes in here.



Not a Team Rocket Member."







poo poo. If only. Also gently caress anti-vaxxers. :mad:



This is the last Elite Four book, but the author isn't mentioned.

























That's all of the puns! We're done! To continue with the story, we need to investigate the door we can't walk through. By the way we can't walk through the door on the right there.



the prophecy is stored!

I think this is Nora? That's what I'm running with.

: I agree. Nobody knows the prophecy except for the cult leaders. It would have to be hidden somewhere most people wouldn't look.



: May I ask what about it interests you?

I'm using the temporary portrait for this guy because he features pretty prominently in the upcoming section. This is the librarian from up front. Zachary, remember?

: Oh... we were going to look for a very old book, sir. We're trainers, you see. We're trying to take down the cults, and we figured that one prophecy about them might be back here.
: I see. You'd be surprised at how many people've looked for that prophecy. ...(sigh)... I'll let you in, if you want. There's no prophecy back there, but there's that one glowing orb.
: An orb? What do you mean?
: That's right. It's been there since this library was built. It's only one of many different odds and ends lying around in the wing. For whatever reason, people believe it has something to do with the prophecy, so they'll try to get it to react to them. I've seen hundreds of people leave disappointed. Do you really want to waste your time?
: Well, we may as well try, right?
: Let us in, please. I promise we'll be quick.
: Fine, but we really will need to be fast. I have a lot of things to do today.





: Let's go find out what the future holds.



There's wild ghost pokemon back here, a couple trainers, and nothing else. So please excuse me while I give you the dime tour.















This old lady is the last trainer back here.









I had a request to pick up a Banette, so...



gently caress. These things really like to spitefully curse-suicide against my attempts to catch them.



Several tries later...



Kenny Rogers songs aside, it's a good name for a haunted plush doll.



This is the final room of the library.



This marks a rare occasion where Nora and Damian both are just hanging around in the game world.



: You see that glow, over in the back?



: Seems like a load of rubbish in my opinion. I doubt there even was a prophecy. It's probably just a legend. But anyways, go ahead. Get this over with.

Zachary here acts very much like a teenager. He's trying to act cool for a bunch of kids.





: Wh-what was that?
: Wh... what's happening? This... this has never happened before!













: I was the Prophet of Arceus and the Oracle of Delphox. I've been preaching since before Hoenn was created. If you want to know the secret of the future, you'll have to take it by force!



The Oracle's sprite has some dirty edits and it's bothering me. If you don't know they're there, you can't see them. But when you know what to look for, it's all you can see.



By the way... all of the Oracle's team is weak to ghost type moves.



Dracolich is about to mega evolve and blacken the sky with Noctem and then sweep through his team with power-boosted Shadow Balls.





And mega evolved, he has just disgusting stats. Look at that SpAtk!







:stare:



Credit where it's due, it very nearly one shot Dracolich. But Mega Delta Chardizard is very much a "you better pray you knock him out in one" type of pokemon. You won't get a second chance to try.





A pity.



The sky brightening means that Dracolich now "only" two shots the Aegislash instead of steamrolling straight over it.



I didn't use mega evolution nearly enough in my first run. In fact, I don't believe I ever used it outside of looking once to see what Mega Delta Pidgeot looked like.



: All right, I'll spill the beans. This prophecy has been misunderstood many, many times. Even the cult leaders have never heard the correct version.
: Wait, so... they don't know what the real prophecy says?
: That's right. I'm not going to read you the entire thing. It's a terrible poem that's easy to misinterpret, and I don't want to be that oracle, y'know?



: The first thing predicted was the emergence of a hero, chosen by a legendary pokemon. Secondly, this hero will succeed. Undefeated in Torren, they'll move on, victorious. The last, secret piece of information is...



gently caress.



: Wait, what? One of us is going to join the Infernal Cult?
: Yeah, what? You can't leave us with that! Who's the hero? How can we stop that from happening?







: Well, you can't say he doesn't have a flair for the dramatic.





: W-we were just told one of us is a traitor! This isn't the time to joke around!
: ... ... Well, he did say that you'll get rid of the cults, right? I'm a librarian. As prophecies go, I've heard far worse.



: But anyways, people are probably waiting for me at the front desk, so I need to head back. Let me know if you need more help with... Well, with whatever library stuff I can help with.





: Don't panic? Damian, we just got told that we're going to lose!



: Worrying about this isn't going to help. We need to work together! If we're going to let this make us turn on each other, we might as well give up now.

Damian is talking a lot of sense. Unfortunately Nora is freaking out.

: Oh, criticizing me already, Damian? You know, if I were an Infernal Cultist in disguise, I wouldn't draw attention to myself. But of course, you wouldn't know anything about tact, would you? Not Mister...



: Nora, please stop.
: You know what I think Damian? I think your stepmother was right about you.





: I'll see you in Sonata City, Amy. There's a Gym there... and we'll need its badge in order to Dive.

:smith:



: ... ... ...



: I don't know what came over me...





Nora: *says things deliberately designed to hurt someone's feelings*
Also Nora: "I hope I didn't hurt him..."





That's enough for right now.

Looking Ahead

Route 8

Wigglytuff
Rapidash
Chansey
Kangaskhan
Houndoom

Route 8 Hidden Grotto

Delta Munchlax
Spritzee
Slurpuff

Miara Town

Machoke (Trade Beedrill)
Haunter (Trade Vigoroth)
Sunkern (Look at flowers)
Slugma (Trade literally anything)
Tropius (Trade Vibrava)
Delta Koffing (Trade Pseudo Legendary)
Delta Axew (Sidequest)

NEXT TIME: On to Miara Town!

Commander Keene
Dec 21, 2016

Faster than the others



I thought you were being a bit too hard on Nora before, but after this update... wow.

DoubleNegative posted:

: I was the Prophet of Arceus and the Oracle of Delphox.
Looks like the puns aren't confined to just the books here.

Blueberry Pancakes
Aug 18, 2012

Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!
Nora did everything wrong.

TracerK
Jun 25, 2013

There are not nearly enough lovely puns in the library.

They even doubled up on the "For Whom the Bell Tolls"! For shame.

Other ones that came to mind were:
- Piplup Longstockings
- Black Beautifly
- Sunfloras for Algernon
- Pelipper's Travels, Part I: A Voyage to Lillipup
- The Berensteain Beartics
- Paddington Bewear

... I'll see myself out.

Hunt11
Jul 24, 2013

Grimey Drawer
That could have gone worse as I am sure Nora will think up some other way to emotionally wreck the poor kid.

Lyumia
Nov 7, 2018

Glutton for Punishment

Oh my god budew looking like a potato in a dress might just top all the puns in this update, but only if it's listening to another budew from a balcony saying "A roserade by any other name would smell as sweet"

Speaking of, I thought of some more bad puns
A Roserade for Emily
The House of the Seven Gibles
I Heard a Flygon Buzz
The Count of Monte crustle

I'll stop now because my puns were so bad my browser crashed

Edit: what's up with that dudes clothes
Not design wise, tho that certainly is a thing. Like, something is slightly off about it, but idk what

Lyumia fucked around with this message at 06:42 on Nov 29, 2018

Waffleman_
Jan 20, 2011


I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna!!!

Tuesdays with Magmortar
Game of Throh

Patter Song
Mar 26, 2010

Hereby it is manifest that during the time men live without a common power to keep them all in awe, they are in that condition which is called war; and such a war as is of every man against every man.
Fun Shoe
Victory Through Dragonair Power

ApeHawk
Jun 6, 2010

All the NPCs will look up and shout, "Do this quest!"
and I'll whisper, "Sure, why not."
That was the best update in this whole LP and nothing will top it.

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Kitfox88
Aug 21, 2007

Anybody lose their glasses?
Delta Budew and co are actually cute as heck. Also thanks, Banette's one of my favorite ghost types. Hopefully you can find a use for them somewhere :toot:

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