Newspaper Spider-Man: ARRGH! She said the N-WORD!

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > BSS: Bisexual Super Son > Newspaper Spider-Man: ARRGH! She said the N-WORD!

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Mikl: Nov 8, 2009; Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!

It's an improvement if you ask me.

# ? Dec 11, 2018 12:31

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# ? May 26, 2024 20:11

Libra: Jan 5, 2011

I'm starting to think that Luke Cage cannot move a muscle, possibly due to some kind of order or command.

# ? Dec 11, 2018 13:10

jyrque: Sep 4, 2011; Gravy Boat 2k

But what about Mr. Purple's amnesia? We must know more. :ohdear:

# ? Dec 11, 2018 13:19

Proteus Jones: Feb 28, 2013

Synthbuttrange posted:

When did you do this research?! Between getting your memory back and today, 5 minutes later?!

It's a good thing Kilgrave is purple or there would be super uncomfortable racist undertones to this

# ? Dec 11, 2018 13:23

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

jyrque posted:

But what about Mr. Purple's amnesia? We must know more.

He overcame it with a deep dive into the Marvel wiki.

# ? Dec 11, 2018 22:20

PoptartsNinja: May 9, 2008; He is still almost definitely not a spy; Soiled Meat

This accident has given me the ability to control people with my voice and also 5G WiFi access.

# ? Dec 11, 2018 22:38

Lurdiak: Feb 26, 2006; I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do.

The MSJ posted:

Racists would view making a black man bulletproof as an accident.

Well the guy who put him in there OD'd him on a thing that was supposed to have much milder effects in an attempt to kill him, so I guess making him unkillable counts as an accident.

# ? Dec 11, 2018 23:31

Synthbuttrange: May 6, 2007

# ? Dec 12, 2018 00:44

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Word travels fast in NSM.

# ? Dec 12, 2018 00:46

Samuringa: Mar 27, 2017; Best advice I was ever given?

"Ticker, you'll be a lot happier once you stop caring about the opinions of a culture that is beneath you."

I learned my worth, learned the places and people that matter.

Opened my eyes.

That's a huge headline

# ? Dec 12, 2018 00:53

Ikasuhito: Sep 29, 2013; Haram as Fuck.

Samuringa posted:

That's a huge headline

That's the entire article.

# ? Dec 12, 2018 01:23

Kurui Reiten: Apr 24, 2010

It reads so well though.

# ? Dec 12, 2018 02:31

Robot Wendigo: Jul 9, 2013; Grimey Drawer

Jonah goes through eight phones every day

# ? Dec 12, 2018 02:34

joehonkie: Jan 12, 2006; I'm a member of STARS.

Samuringa posted:

That's a huge headline

It's actually the whole story.

"MYSTERIOUS IRON FIST SAVES FBI AGENT FROM MURDER ATTEMPT! THEN AMAZING SPIDER MAN AND MYSTERIOUS IRON FIST DEFEAT GOLDEN CLAW AND KINGPIN. IT WAS A GOOD DAY."

# ? Dec 12, 2018 02:48

Otherkinsey Scale: Jul 17, 2012; Just a little bit of sunshine!

Last time this article showed up the headline was just IRONFIST

# ? Dec 12, 2018 03:00

Jerusalem: May 20, 2004; Would you be my new best friends?

joehonkie posted:

It's actually the whole story.

"MYSTERIOUS IRON FIST SAVES FBI AGENT FROM MURDER ATTEMPT! THEN AMAZING SPIDER MAN AND MYSTERIOUS IRON FIST DEFEAT GOLDEN CLAW AND KINGPIN. IT WAS A GOOD DAY."

"I HOPE MY WIFE MARY JANE WATSON DOESN'T GET MAD THAT I, I MEAN SPIDER-MAN, DESTROYED HER THEATER THOUGH!"

# ? Dec 12, 2018 03:24

Lobok: Jul 13, 2006; Say Watt?

Ikasuhito posted:

That's the entire article.

You can tell because it's a headline that ends in an exclamation mark.

# ? Dec 12, 2018 03:40

David D. Davidson: Nov 17, 2012; Orca lady?

He just assumes a different Peter Parker wrote it.
'Robbie call Parker and telling him he's fired. Then call Parker and tell him he's hired."

# ? Dec 12, 2018 03:57

Push El Burrito: May 9, 2006; Soiled Meat

Lobok posted:

You can tell because it's a headline that ends in an exclamation mark.

Everything in NSM ends in an exclamation mark or question mark.

Not related but I like that The Maker (evil Reed Richards who survived the destruction of the Ultimate universe and travelled to the main Marvel universe) speaks in upper and lowercase letters like the Ultimate Comics did while everyone else speaks in all caps still.

# ? Dec 12, 2018 04:12

Cabbit: Jul 19, 2001; _{Is that everything you have?}

Push El Burrito posted:

Everything in NSM ends in an exclamation mark or question mark.

Not related but I like that The Maker (evil Reed Richards who survived the destruction of the Ultimate universe and travelled to the main Marvel universe) speaks in upper and lowercase letters like the Ultimate Comics did while everyone else speaks in all caps still.

What's this from?

# ? Dec 12, 2018 05:29

Synthbuttrange: May 6, 2007

Secret War

# ? Dec 12, 2018 05:44

Jetfire: Apr 29, 2008

What doofus editor doesn't know the bylines on his A1 above the fold

# ? Dec 12, 2018 06:25

Endless Mike: Aug 13, 2003

Push El Burrito posted:

Everything in NSM ends in an exclamation mark or question mark.

Not related but I like that The Maker (evil Reed Richards who survived the destruction of the Ultimate universe and travelled to the main Marvel universe) speaks in upper and lowercase letters like the Ultimate Comics did while everyone else speaks in all caps still.

This is kiiiiiiiiiind of not really true. Late-era Ultimate books did this, but earlier ones didn't. Similarly, you can find plenty of contemporary 616 books where they use lower-cases. This was a stylistic choice for Secret War (and I believe later Maker appearances), but wasn't as hard and fast as it seems. Post-Secret War Miles is lettered in all-caps, also, despite being explicitly an Ultimate survivor, as well.

# ? Dec 12, 2018 14:20

evilmiera: Dec 14, 2009; Status: Ravenously Rambunctious

David D. Davidson posted:

He just assumes a different Peter Parker wrote it.
'Robbie call Parker and telling him he's fired. Then call Parker and tell him he's hired."

Wait isn't Peter supposed to be a photographer, not a writer/journalist? Then again I am fairly certain we have seen Jonah skimp on paying for more than one employee when they can do a shoddy version of the job of several of them on their own.

# ? Dec 12, 2018 21:17

Push El Burrito: May 9, 2006; Soiled Meat

Endless Mike posted:

This is kiiiiiiiiiind of not really true. Late-era Ultimate books did this, but earlier ones didn't. Similarly, you can find plenty of contemporary 616 books where they use lower-cases. This was a stylistic choice for Secret War (and I believe later Maker appearances), but wasn't as hard and fast as it seems. Post-Secret War Miles is lettered in all-caps, also, despite being explicitly an Ultimate survivor, as well.

Well yeah but Miles is a fanboy who wants to be just like the other superheroes! And it carries over to his New Avengers appearances too.

Push El Burrito fucked around with this message at 22:10 on Dec 12, 2018

# ? Dec 12, 2018 22:08

Digamma-F-Wau: Mar 22, 2016; It is curious and wants to accept all kinds of challenges

All this talk about Bomic Cooks made my eyes glaze over

# ? Dec 12, 2018 22:39

Tunicate: May 15, 2012

evilmiera posted:

Wait isn't Peter supposed to be a photographer, not a writer/journalist? Then again I am fairly certain we have seen Jonah skimp on paying for more than one employee when they can do a shoddy version of the job of several of them on their own.

He got a chance to write while JJJ was out of town.

Someone quote the article peter wrote plz, am on mobile.

# ? Dec 12, 2018 22:49

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Tunicate posted:

He got a chance to write while JJJ was out of town.

Someone quote the article peter wrote plz, am on mobile.

It's in the first post, but here it is.

quote:

IRONFIST
by Peter Parker

A masked man brought another man to a hospital last night. The other man was an FBI agent. The masked man had saved him from an attack by some other other men. These other men were bad men, according to sources. The masked man did not attack the agent and then bring him to the hospital, as initially suspected by some sources.

The masked man is called IronFist, because he has a fist that is really hard (reports say it also glows and cuts up webs somehow so those are useless against it so don't even try that). Anonymous sources say you should not punch him in the fist if you are punching him, which you shouldn't be because he was not one of the bad men who attacked the FBI agent. You might think at first he is a bad man and then you will start to fight him, and perhaps he will think the same thing about you and will start to fight you, but eventually you both will realize you are both not bad men and stop fighting, according to sources. But if you punch him really hard directly in the fist it will really hurt your hand a lot is the point sources are making.

That case of mistaken identity thing described above is exactly what happened between IronFist and Spider-Man! They fought for a minute, but then realized they were both on the same side--the good one. They then saved the FBI agent from another attack by some other bad people (this time one was a woman), who then disappeared somehow and so did we, sources revealed.

After that, they considered teaming up, but then IronFist revealed his identity (he was NOT Danny Rand of the Wall Street Journal) to Spider-Man and said to team up Spider-Man had to reveal his, sources say.

As of this printing, Spider-Man refused to reveal himself because I had to protect my secret identity, according to sources I talked to as a reporter to get these facts.

# ? Dec 12, 2018 22:53

quite stretched out: Feb 17, 2011; the chillest

Endless Mike posted:

This is kiiiiiiiiiind of not really true. Late-era Ultimate books did this, but earlier ones didn't. Similarly, you can find plenty of contemporary 616 books where they use lower-cases. This was a stylistic choice for Secret War (and I believe later Maker appearances), but wasn't as hard and fast as it seems. Post-Secret War Miles is lettered in all-caps, also, despite being explicitly an Ultimate survivor, as well.

i thought the change for miles was a nod to the fact that molecule man decided to thank miles for the hamburger he had in his pocket my making it so that miles and his family WERE from the main universe and thus would survive, whereas maker snuck in somehow or something

# ? Dec 12, 2018 23:35

Synthbuttrange: May 6, 2007

# ? Dec 12, 2018 23:50

Jerusalem: May 20, 2004; Would you be my new best friends?

Next: The Parkers detour and get to the airport safely!

# ? Dec 13, 2018 00:01

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

Jerusalem posted:

Next: The Parkers detour and get to the airport safely!

�That sure was weird of Luke Cage to rob that truck. Oh well. On to Australia!�

Next: Australia!

# ? Dec 13, 2018 00:03

Shaddak: Nov 13, 2011

I know that this is the Newspaperverse, so I shouldn't otherthink this. I am kind of confused as to how the drivers of that armored car could know who Luke Cage is, yet still be surprised he could stop their truck.

# ? Dec 13, 2018 00:35

Synthbuttrange: May 6, 2007

Also look at this 2011 spidey

Haifisch posted:

2011 Spiderman

G-golly!

# ? Dec 13, 2018 01:26

Otherkinsey Scale: Jul 17, 2012; Just a little bit of sunshine!

Shaddak posted:

I know that this is the Newspaperverse, so I shouldn't otherthink this. I am kind of confused as to how the drivers of that armored car could know who Luke Cage is, yet still be surprised he could stop their truck.

I thought you were talking to me for a second.

Anyway, it seems more like they're surprised he did, instead of that he could.

But more importantly, that's very clearly JJJ and Robbie driving that car. Luke Cage isn't robbing the bank, he's stopping the Bugle senior staff's sudden turn to crime!

# ? Dec 13, 2018 01:53

Lobok: Jul 13, 2006; Say Watt?

Synthbuttrange posted:

Also look at this 2011 spidey

G-golly!

I like the V she's making with her fingers. Did Peter have less brain damage back then so he got the hint?

MJ's plea here is so good, though. "Peter, you could be out there helping people. But you have a responsibility to bang your wife."

# ? Dec 13, 2018 02:06

Escobarbarian: Jun 18, 2004; Grimey Drawer

I�m genuinely pleasantly surprised, I thought we were at least another three weeks away from this

# ? Dec 13, 2018 02:25

Jerusalem: May 20, 2004; Would you be my new best friends?

Lobok posted:

"But you have a responsibility to bang your wife."

Uncle Ben would be proud :patriot:

# ? Dec 13, 2018 02:48

Libra: Jan 5, 2011

The relationship suddenly makes a lot more sense if you consider the possibility that Peter's lovemaking ability is inversely proportional to his everything else ability.

It's really the only way it makes sense.

# ? Dec 13, 2018 03:37

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# ? May 26, 2024 20:11

Lobok: Jul 13, 2006; Say Watt?

Libra posted:

The relationship suddenly makes a lot more sense if you consider the possibility that Peter's lovemaking ability is inversely proportional to his everything else ability.

It's really the only way it makes sense.

Reminds me of Jason on The Good Place.

# ? Dec 13, 2018 03:59

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > BSS: Bisexual Super Son > Newspaper Spider-Man: ARRGH! She said the N-WORD!

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