/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

«‹›6020 »

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Nobody could neg me harder than I neg myself anyway. :shrug:

# ? Dec 15, 2018 06:51

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 31, 2024 22:52

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Betazoid posted:

Negging is inherently offensive (it is an insult, come ON). so I just smile and say something like "oh, that's too bad." If somebody needs to use dumb peacock tactics to hit on a woman, no thanks. I feel like it only works on women too desperate to choose, of which there are few. Like the peacock, the female chooses the mate.

I take issue with the bolded part.

# ? Dec 15, 2018 06:52

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

admittedly i might like men more if i could delude myself into thinking every time they were being bastards for no reason it was meant as flattery

# ? Dec 15, 2018 06:53

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Nobody could neg me harder than I neg myself anyway.

Sounds like you need someone to pos your neg hole. :colbert:

# ? Dec 15, 2018 06:53

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

therobit posted:

Sounds like you need someone to pos your neg hole.

Nah, I'm good. Or bad, rather.

# ? Dec 15, 2018 06:56

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

ArbitraryC posted:

I mean have you actively heard your SO comparing you to their ex relationships and citing why you'd always be worse in bed?

I mean, not specifically, no. The hardest thing I've had an ex tell me is that the sex was good, but she never felt we had any chemistry. We talked through it and ended up splitting amicably for that and other reasons. I have crippling self-esteem issues and going through the break up was when I started to address those. Dunno if you'd count that, I guess it's not quite on the same level.

ArbitraryC posted:

These guys were shitheads and hopefully you didn't put up with it.

You're kind of sending mixed signals here, dog.

# ? Dec 15, 2018 09:16

Endorph: Jul 22, 2009

Ask Dr. Nerdlove: Fat, broke, Got married at 19 in a cult that you only recently escaped? sounds like you should look into polyamory!

Endorph fucked around with this message at 12:48 on Dec 15, 2018

# ? Dec 15, 2018 12:45

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Endorph posted:

Ask Dr. Nerdlove: Fat, broke, Got married at 19 in a cult that you only recently escaped? sounds like you should look into polyamory!

That's bad enough but then immediately below that he implies the reason a woman who has literally had her endocrine system destroyed and/or removed isn't interested in sex is because she feels bad about her body

# ? Dec 15, 2018 14:06

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

My boyfriend doesn't want me masturbating.
Posted byu/EnigmaTrash

quote:

So my boyfriend (25M) and I (24F) were out last night and he was complimenting me and flirting and though that's not out of the usual, it got me very excited, especially since he mentioned he wanted to have sex later once we got home. When we did, I guess he was too tired since when I tried initiating a couple of times he kept being sweet but pushing my hand away, his indicator he's not in the mood. I can get down from being rejected, and then this morning when he seemed quick to go off and do other things when I planned on trying again, I admittedly was grouchy but thought for a moment why that was unfair.

I decided to take care of my urges myself and was in a better mood, I went and did other things along side him while he played a game. No big deal. I found myself still in the mood a few hours later so I thought I would go in the room and watch porn or something and see if I was in the mood enough to get myself off again. He came in and asked what I was doing all alone and I mentioned I was watching porn. He immediately left and I decided to take a nap instead since it didn't register he was mad. He came back in and asked if I was watching porn to masturbate and I said no, but that I had this morning. I wasn't hiding that, since when I came out this morning I had apologized for being a little grouchy and how that was unfair, since even he noticed and that I "took care of it" which he brought up angrily "so that's what you meant by took care of it?" He then cursed at me and slammed the door. I was left very confused.

We have sex pretty often though I can tell I kind of bug him too much. I thought pleasuring myself would resolve anything but I guess I just made it worse. Do I have a problem? Are there ways to decrease my libido? Sorry for such long text in advance..

# ? Dec 15, 2018 15:16

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

When you say sorry at the end it's not in advance lady

# ? Dec 15, 2018 15:21

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

help -- worried my sexuality limits my options (male/cishet/kink, no intercourse/oral) ~3 min read
Posted byu/helpwelpkelp

quote:

first of all thanks for clicking on this! i guess i'll go right into it (i feel rather vulnerable and uncomfortable with this but i am hoping for some thoughts from redditors kind enough to read and reply. many thanks)

*also since once person kindly mentioned it -- i am well versed in principles of consent and tend to be a get-permission-step-by-step guy unless instructed by my partner to do less of that*

my main concern is that my sexuality really limits me in terms of who i can hook up with to the point that i will have few lasting intimate relationships with women.

first, what i am not turned on by: i have virtually zero interest in intercourse, giving or receiving oral (those are my only hard limit in terms of mainstream stuff), i am not turned on by nudity and have zero sexual attraction to vaginas. i would be okay with an intimate partner with the requisite patience showing me how to do intercourse but it's just not something i'm into at all.

i can be intimate and fun and gentle and sweet with people im intimate with, but when it gets to actual sexual experiences the format is more so transnational. like i am okay with fingering women and i do a good job with it but it's not erotic to me and is more about maintaining as much reciprocity as possible.

as for what im turned on by, it's fairly soft. first regards appearance: i am attracted to a really feminine aesthetic not into feet but for an analogy, i think in the same way that foot fetishes are the result of brains wiring differently (because feet are so close to the genitals in terms of how the brain maps these things), my brain interprets skirts, like ones that are really flowy and feminine, as vaginas. besides really clear representation of the feminine the kinds i like have their folds, and maybe this is akin to vaginal folds, as my brain interprets it. also, breasts are great (though some partners i've had don't like that i don't spend as much time on them) and i love love long hair. with skirts and hair i basically am so turned on by them and they occupy such a primary place in my sexuality. the trouble, i feel, is that they've replaced the ordinary sexuality that is actually compatible with women.

second, i like dominating and restraining women, including with things that are a bit weirder like hand over mouth, etc. it doesn't involve inflicting pain or nudity or penetration. there are a few positions i know are my favorite and am very very happy with just those. i can get very imaginative with a lot of nuance and detail and endless variations for scenes and role play and dialogue and similar kinds of interaction.

okay so i have my sexuality that i feel as strongly as anyone else's, but as i've said i am scared that i basically won't have a fulfilling sex life because of it, and i don't want to try and change it in any fundamental way (i've expressed what i'm open to, my limits, etc.)

i've had some corroboration from women who are into kink in that they love struggling against guys and are also not surprised at all that someone who is into kink isn't into intercourse. but a friend of mine who is into kink was confused and was like "...but then how do you sex?" lol so the thing is it seems like many on the kink spectrum also see have intercourse, oral, etc., as the culmination of the sexual experience.

if you could read this far, thanks SO much again

# ? Dec 15, 2018 15:25

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

CheesyDog posted:

help -- worried my sexuality limits my options (male/cishet/kink, no intercourse/oral) ~3 min read
Posted byu/helpwelpkelp

What the gently caress lol

# ? Dec 15, 2018 15:27

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

I[25F] was turned on seeing my flatmate [26F] in a hot dress today and I maturbated thinking about her after she left for a party. This has left me confused. Am I a lesbian?
Posted byu/monkstermob

quote:

I've never been able to achieve a PIV orgasm with my bf and when he fingers me to achieve an O, I have to shut my eyes and think of a beautiful girl getting fingered. Is this normal? I've been very confused about my sexuality growing up and I only recently lost my virginity to my current bf. I'm constantly wondering if I'm gay. I'm only turned on by very hot women or images of hot women. I don't feel attracted to women normally. But whenever I have sex, to enjoy the process I have to close my eyes and assume what it would feel like for my bf to make out with me. Is this weird? How can I be certain of my sexuality? Please help

# ? Dec 15, 2018 15:28

DeadMansSuspenders: Jan 10, 2012; I wanna be your left hand man

Captain Yossarian posted:

What the gently caress lol

Allow me to edit the title.

quote:

my sexuality limits my options

# ? Dec 15, 2018 15:30

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

loving (nothing to do with it)

# ? Dec 15, 2018 15:32

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

Allow me to edit the title.

I am still thoroughly confused by that whole... Mess of a post. I'm not sure what that guy's deal is. Maybe it's too early in the morning for me to parse what he's trying to ask

# ? Dec 15, 2018 15:33

Endorph: Jul 22, 2009

CheesyDog posted:

help -- worried my sexuality limits my options (male/cishet/kink, no intercourse/oral) ~3 min read
Posted byu/helpwelpkelp

im a straight dude who will whine the entire time im eating you out and im only turned on by big tits and chokeslamming you like im the undertaker. one at a time, please, ladies

# ? Dec 15, 2018 15:35

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Why does my wife�s vagina feel much looser recently? She used to be very tight, we seldom have sex, but the last time I could barely feel it being inside of her. She has a history of cheating, sleeping around, but I don�t believe multiple sexual partners can cause this.
Posted byu/throwawaysixtythree

quote:

I thought it more likely my penis has lost some size or perhaps I�m not able to stay as hard anymore. I am 55 (she�s 44). We seldom have sex, maybe three times a year or so. Her cheating has made it difficult for me to initiate sex. We are both in decent physical condition so it�s not that. For reasons that are likely apparent I�m fairly self conscious. She has told me no one would ever want me. So is it possible that I partly lose my erection inside of her but still stay hard enough to continue?

It felt humiliating thinking how she could be satisfied because mainly all I could think was she probably couldn�t feel me inside of her. Can she feel it even if it seems so loose to me?

# ? Dec 15, 2018 15:42

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

is it my wifes history of infidelity or our lack of sex?

no it is my dick that is wrong

# ? Dec 15, 2018 15:44

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

ah the funny fakepost that is a little too real

My wife [30F] thinks I'm [33M] gay? [misunderstanding]
Posted byu/AndrewJMLegal

quote:

While posting on an "adult" message board for erotic film enthusiasts I brought up how turned on I used to be as a kid about the prospect of seeing naked women in playboys and films like Porky's and how watching porn today can be a joyless almost numbing experience.

We all agreed that the most fun we ever had watching porn was during sleepovers at friends, one of our friends would bring out the tape and we'd see the hot chick on the box cover covering herself with a pillow and I'd have to stamp my feet as fast as I could on the carpet and chew on my t-shirt to keep from screaming for joy. The first time the woman would get naked we all couldn't believe it and we'd pause the movie and we'd have to cover our boners with our pillows and then go use the bathroom so we could jerk off.

Looking back on those sleepovers I don't think I've ever been happier in my entire life, and it has been impossible to recapture that sense of naive joy and erotic wonder, even my first time having sex with a woman was a letdown by comparison.

We all agreed this was true and I came up with the idea of holding "sleepovers" and pretending we're 11 years old again, and several posters who lived in my area agreed this was a great idea.

A few dozen posts later we were able to work out some ground rules. One big rule is that we all had to be at least 18 years old (most of us are 35 and older). Each member has to try to hold at least on gathering every 3 months (there are 12 of us) and we have to stay in character at ALL times so as to not break the spell. (kind of like live action role playing)

The host of the party has to provide the material, usually old playboy tapes, Penthouse Magazines, and hardcore porn (must be from 1992 or before, preferably 80's "golden age" porn.

We all have to wear pajamas and bring chips and pop. We tend to play old nintendo games for an hour till the hosts "parents" go to bed then the host goes "look what I got guys!" then takes out the porn and we all jump around and high five and then wait with giddy expectation. During the movie we turn to each other and grin and talk about how horny we are and comment on the "action". Like if a woman with huge breasts disrobes for a shower we have to pause the movie and go "whoaaaaa!" "I'd like to suck on those" "Imagine if you touched her boobs with your penis!" "I heard that girls will put their mouth on your penis and lick it!" etc. There used to be a no masturbation rule but that was quickly nixed, the whole purpose of the gatherings is to feed of each others erotic energy the pent up erotic energy is too much to resist, we tend to whip down out pajamas at the same time and masturbate. We try to keep a silly naive quality though and jokingly point at each others members and try to shout out different things about their penises. "That sure beats Super Mario Bros.!" is my ejaculation catchphrase.

Since starting these gatherings I have never felt more alive and my sex life with my wife couldn't be better, that is until one gathering where she caught an early flight home for the purpose of "surprising" me and ended up walking in on a dozen men masturbating in her living room. I will never forget the shocked look on her face and she immediately left and stayed at her sisters house.

I managed to talk to her and explain what she witnessed but she isn't really buying my story, she keeps going on about how I am having "gay sex orgies" behind her back (we never touch each other!) and that I am living a lie. She has even started to indicate that she wants a divorce!

Is there anyway I can get her to understand what I have been doing? I love my wife and ironically have never been more attracted to her than I am now, I realize I had been somewhat childish and now realize that I have a gorgeous voluptuous woman that my 11 year old self would have sold his Super Nintendo and Bike just to be able to touch her naked breasts and I could loser her. Please help me get her back!

# ? Dec 15, 2018 15:52

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Sex in car parked in Private Garage...will we suffocate?
Posted byu/SergeantAsshole

quote:

First the car WILL NOT BE ON. The car will just parked in a small private garage with one of those metal(?) roll down doors. The garage will be closed, the car windows will be rolled down.

I feel like this is the dumbest question ever, but I�m just confirming that garages are not airtight right? If we stay in there for a while we won�t suffocate, right? (Again, the car won�t be on)

I read that story about the man finding his wife with her lover dead after having sex in a running car. I understand they died because of the fumes, but after that I�ve become super paranoid.

Anyways thank you!

# ? Dec 15, 2018 16:17

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

CheesyDog posted:

Sex in car parked in Private Garage...will we suffocate?
Posted byu/SergeantAsshole

This person probably wants the doors left ajar in the house all the time.

quote:

i can be intimate and fun and gentle and sweet with people im intimate with, but when it gets to actual sexual experiences the format is more so transnational

Lmao

# ? Dec 15, 2018 16:27

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

These last few stories have been doozies. Just having a bunch of dudes come over to j/o and eat chips and play Nintendo. What wife wouldn't understand that?

# ? Dec 15, 2018 16:35

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

no one respects recharging the crystals anymore i swear.

# ? Dec 15, 2018 16:37

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

My [23F] boyfriend [26M] bought an apartment with his twin brother without running it by me

quote:

We've been dating for almost 4 years. We had our ups and downs but I knew he is the one I wanted to marry from the beginning. We never talked serious about our exact future plans mostly because I have 2 more years still at university. My parents told me they have enough savings to buy us an apartment when I decide to move out, get married and my boyfriend knew that they are ready to help out. His parents went through a nasty divorce mostly because of division of assets and his relationship with parents is almost non existent.

One day he comes and says that he and his identical twin brother want to move out of their parents house and they looked for an apartments together. He didn't ask for my oppinion or advice, it was more like an annoucement. He said they are looking at building that is just starting the counstrucion. It will be ready to move in in about 2,5 years. He said they went to the bank and they are going to take a loan for almost the whole price of the apartment and it will take 6 years to pay it back together. After they pay it off they are going to take another loan to buy a second apartment for twin brother and then they will start living apart.

I was shocked what I'm hearing. I felt betrayed that he didn't ask what I would think of it. I tried to keep my cool down and when I said that I'm dissapointed that he is making future plans with his brother instead of me he attacked me for not being happy for him.

I tried to explain that he should have talked to me about something that is impacting me as well. That means we will keep dating for the next 6 years on the same level as we did these past 4 years. We can start living together only when they buy second apartment.

I was also mad that he is going to live the next 12 years in debt. He could have waited for me to finish the university, save some money instead and pay half the price of the apartment while other half pay my parents. When I said that is the better financial solution, he said his father told him to have his own properties before getting married. He is talking from his experience from divorce. So I got even more angry that he is already protecting himself from divorce.

After our talk he told me that apartment is for us, that is why he insisted on buying a bigger one so we could have enough space for future children. I'm just feeling so sad and lost right now. I love him but I haven't imagined us starting our life together when I'm 29.

I don't know how to proceed this relationship or how to be happy for him.

EDIT: we did talk about us getting married and having kids one day after I graduate. We made sure we were on the same page about that once we've realized things got serious. But we did not make an exact, detailed timeline of our futute. I didn't think it was time to talk about it more serious since I have two more years to graduate.

TL;DR Boyfriend bought an apartment with his twin brother without consulting with me. My parents were ready to help us two buy an apartment. We can't start our life together for the next 6 years until his twin brother moves.

# ? Dec 15, 2018 16:43

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

CheesyDog posted:

Sex in car parked in Private Garage...will we suffocate?
Posted byu/SergeantAsshole

Are they Koreans? Is there a fan in the garage?

# ? Dec 15, 2018 18:05

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Me [35F] found out my mother contacted the family that adopted my son, to ask for money

quote:

I placed my son up for adoption almost 16 years ago. It was a decision I came to on my own but it did come with the added pressure of my mom specifically telling me I would no longer be her daughter if I choose to keep my baby. This was huge for me because I am an only child. It was the most difficult thing to do and I struggle with the emotions of it daily.

It was an open adoption and I have the ability to reach out and get pictures/updates whenever I like. I did that for a few years but then it just became easier to move on by not knowing. I knew I had made the right decision and the family taking my son was amazing.

I also ended up not speaking to my mother for six years after because of the way she treated me during my pregnancy. It took years of therapy and a lot of forgiveness to even be in the same room as her. I made peace with her for the sake of the rest of our family (i.e. cousins, aunts, grandma's).

At the same time my mothers health was deteriorating and I found out through some family she wasn't working, had divorced her second husband and was homeless living in her car.

I had moved away and was doing well enough financially. I succumbed to the guilt provided by my family and agreed to move her in with me and help her get the proper care. It wasn't ideal but I made it work. Got her healthy and got her into some housing and our relationship has been ok.

Fast forward to July of 2018. I had lost my job, and in general things weren't working in my favor. Mid-life crisis status but with all things I knew this too would pass and a year from now this would not matter. I had a plan of action and knew things would get better I just needed time.

Things did get better, got a new job, moved to a new city, celebrated my birthday and on vacation until January 2nd. Things were great up until this morning.

I'm visiting out of town with some family, which includes my mother. My mom approached me about having issues with her computer/phone I paid for/bought and asked if I could help.

She handed them over and I started troubleshooting. As I'm going through I notice her computer has several tabs open and I start closing things and un-cluttering the mess. Next thing I see is an open email from August between the man who adopted my child and my mother. She is basically telling him how bad my life is because of her and her health issues and I lost my job and she needs to speak with him to ask for any kind of help. The last email is them exchanging phone numbers.

I'm beyond upset now and don't even know what to do or say going forward. I've locked myself in the bedroom and trying to wrap my head around this. Thanks for reading.

tl;dr: mom went behind my back and contacted the family who adopted my son telling them how poorly I'm doing in life (which is not true) asking for money.

# ? Dec 15, 2018 18:42

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

thats so hosed.

# ? Dec 15, 2018 18:46

DeadMansSuspenders: Jan 10, 2012; I wanna be your left hand man

CheesyDog posted:

ah the funny fakepost that is a little too real

My wife [30F] thinks I'm [33M] gay? [misunderstanding]
Posted byu/AndrewJMLegal

AHAHAHA I can't stop laughing. There's even a catchphrase.

# ? Dec 15, 2018 18:53

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

My (29F) step daughter (18F) wants to give the present I bought my other step daughter (15F) and take all the credit.

quote:

Alright so I married my husband (37M) about 6 months ago. He had an 18 year old when he was 19 and was married to her mother for about 15 years.

They got divorced and we get his kids (15F, and 8M) for 2 weeks and then their mother gets them for 2 weeks. The 18 year old (let's call her Brittany) lives with her (45M) boyfriend. I've had a really great relationship with all 3 kids. Once brittany started dating her current boyfriend who is 45, the relationship between her and my husband really started going sour. I dont support her decision but her and I remained close and I did my best not to isolate her.

After Brittany and I started growing closer she started taking more and more advantage of me and my kindness. Her boyfriend doesnt make much money and she doesnt have a job. Her sisters birthday is tomorrow and a couple of weeks ago she mentioned a nice coat her sister wanted and asked me if I would just go look with her.

We didnt have any luck at our local mall so I spent some time finding a nice coat on Amazon and asked Brittany if her sister would like it, she said yes and so I ordered it.

We dont get her sister on her actual birthday, but we are celebrating it today (1 day early). I had told brittany that the coat could be from the both of us, since I found it and paid for it but she did tell me the style/color her sister wanted.

Then I get a text from Brittany saying that No, she wants to give it to her on her actual birthday and tell her mother she paid for it to prove that her and her boyfriend are successful. I told her I wasnt comfortable with that and I'm sorry but it's a group gift from us and for us, her birthday is today since she goes back to her mother's late tonight. I asked her to share her feelings and she said she is really angry at me and thinks I'm being selfish. I dont know how to respond to her. My husband currently has pneumonia which is why I'm turning to reddit and not him since he is really sick right now.

I am new to being a step mom, and I'm really trying here. How do I respond to this?

Tldr: bought my 15F step daughter a present. My other step daughter wants to give it to her after she leaves our house and say she bought it.

OP posted:

First off. They are actively trying to get pregnant. Yikes, I know. I've had lots of conversations with her, so has her dad, and her mom (her mom and I get along fairly well, mostly just communicate about the kids), and her moms boyfriend. So yeah, she doesnt have the best head screwed on her shoulders.

Her boyfriend is a creep, and also has a 21 year old daughter. So yeah his daughter is older then his girlfriend. He also told her he was 40 and then surprise he lied and is 45. So yeah just.....not good.

But thank you for your advice. When I told her no, and told her it was from me and her that her and I made a collective effort. I also offered to have her reimburse me for the coat, and she said no. I'm trying to be fair without being mean.

# ? Dec 15, 2018 19:01

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

Neighbors assaulted me and took my daughter (later returned her) because of suspected attempt to drink and drive.
Male, late 20�s, CO

I quit drinking soda and energy drinks a few months ago (I haven�t consumed alcohol in years) and I replaced that habit with drinking Martinelli�s Sparkling Apple Juice. The juice comes in 10oz. glass bottles that look very similar to Corona beer bottles. Here lies my issue: This morning I was walking to my car from my apartment and I had a bottle of my juice in one hand and my 1 year old daughter, in her car seat, in the other hand. My neighbors basically jumped me from behind. One grabbed my daughter�s car seat and the other was punching, kicking, and yelling at me. He was saying stuff like �The nerve of you to drink and try to drive with your baby.� As a result, my juice bottle shattered in the parking lot cutting my hand, my cell phone�s screen is destroyed, and I think my nose is fractured. Most importantly, the neighbor who took my baby went inside his apartment with her and it took 10 minutes of me explaining through the screen door that I was not about drink and drive, but that I WAS DRINKING APPLE JUICE. This all just happened. I�m calling the cops. Any suggestions?

BTW, I didn�t get any apologies or anything from the neighbors. They said they were doing their �duty� to protect the community.

UPDATE:

The police showed up. As soon as they pulled up more than a half dozen neighbors came out and are giving witness reports.

UPDATE #2:

Both men were arrested and I will be making my way down to the police station in a few minutes. I will be talking to detectives. The police assured me (off the record) that both will be serving time because felonies were committed.

# ? Dec 15, 2018 19:12

sephiRoth IRA: Jun 13, 2007; "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

Haifisch posted:

My (29F) step daughter (18F) wants to give the present I bought my other step daughter (15F) and take all the credit.

aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA :gonk:

# ? Dec 15, 2018 19:21

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

CheesyDog posted:

Why does my wife’s vagina feel much looser recently? She used to be very tight, we seldom have sex, but the last time I could barely feel it being inside of her. She has a history of cheating, sleeping around, but I don’t believe multiple sexual partners can cause this.
Posted byu/throwawaysixtythree

His dick shrank, it happens if you go to long without sex.

# ? Dec 15, 2018 19:26

don longjohns: Mar 2, 2012

areyoucontagious posted:

aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Yeah why is this post not about the 45 year old dating the daughter who is YOUNGER THAN HIS OWN DAUGHTER

# ? Dec 15, 2018 19:35

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

failing forward posted:

Yeah why is this post not about the 45 year old dating the daughter who is YOUNGER THAN HIS OWN DAUGHTER

Because she's the step mom which is even lower on the totem pole than the father who also can't do anything.

# ? Dec 15, 2018 19:37

iustorum_anime: Apr 4, 2016

(update) My (28m) wife (32f) told me she didn't want to see me and focus on her "prison family" while inside. Things are so much worse. I'm devastated.

quote:

so the original is here, basically tl;dr is my wife went to prison for 18 monks for DUI. She became involved in a prison family with this diesel at head everyone called "Uncle." I was devastated.

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/9xdben/my_28m_wife_32f_is_doing_18_months_for_a_Dui

So I basically went about my life. I kept putting money on her commissary because enough people told me she could come under more harm if I didn't. I figured we are still married and she does need me to be her husband in some ways.

Well things got so weird this week. First thing is my MIL went to visit her in jail, this would be the first visit she's has since I saw her a month ago. My wife now has a huge tattoo of her "uncles" name that takes up her entire front of her neck. Her neck. A permanent tattoo of another womans name where she can't hide it. I can't even fathom why she'd do it. My MIL Snuck a pic and it looks awful. It was still very red and stuff but even so it's 3 inch high letters wrapping around my wife's neck from left to right. It doesn't even look like my wife anymore. My mil is devastated too. To top that off, the tattoo is just an outline at this phase, it's not even done and she's going go get it filled in and darker.

Secondly during the visit my wife told my MIL that she had to take care of some business for her family and that she will almost certainly end up in administrative segregation. Well today I got what amounts to a from letter from for DOC that says your loved one has been placed in ad-seg and to please cancel all travel plans as visitation privilege has been suspended. So whatever it was she was planning on, she apparently did it.

I hadn't planned on visiting her anyways but this makes her feel even more gone. I'm just so devastated. Thank you for letting me vent.

# ? Dec 15, 2018 20:07

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

failing forward posted:

Yeah why is this post not about the 45 year old dating the daughter who is YOUNGER THAN HIS OWN DAUGHTER

OP keeps posting more about this and it keeps getting worse.

quote:

He is a dishwasher at a local dive bar with several felonies, and she has quit beauty school, dental assisting school, and college. It's a disaster that is so ridiculous that makes me dizzy.

quote:

[�]pizza12355uqu[S] [score hidden] 3 hours ago
The boyfriend is terrible. At our wedding at 8 PM (wedding started at 6:30) he told her if she didnt leave with him right now he would leave her at the venue. I dont put all the blame on the boyfriend, but it really bugs me how she doesnt think its special to give it to her the day before her birthday and wants to take all the credit. I dont know how to constructively respond to her.

[�]uber_neutrino [score hidden] an hour ago
At our wedding at 8 PM (wedding started at 6:30) he told her if she didnt leave with him right now he would leave her at the venue.

This is what you focus on?

Any 45 year old dating an 18 year old is super messed up. Honestly that's the kind of thing that might get a few of the men in my family to pay this guy a visit. The cops can't do poo poo but the family can at least try to put some pressure on this guy. I wouldn't be enabling this relationship at all in any way, let alone doing the crazy stuff she wants with the gift.

Anyway good luck with it. Navigating these waters is tough. I might lay a bit more of the work onto your husband though!

[�]pizza12355uqu[S] [score hidden] an hour ago
Not necessarily the focus, just an example of behavior. Her dad, uncles, grandpas, etc. Have all talked to her, she doesnt budge. Her dad (my husband) has also talked to the boyfriend and chewed him out, nothing changes.

quote:

My relationship with their mom is pretty good. Her mother, my husband, and I all had a sit down right after they started dating and talked about it.

Her mom lost it and cut her out completely for a little while. But she has started letting her back in gradually. We all let her know yeah we love you so much but you're making a really bad choice and this guy has the potential to ruin your adolescence.

quote:

She had one that she quit because she said her boss was mean. Her dad has tried to help her get better paying jobs but stopped and said he refuses to put his name on any work that she does.

It's hard to find the balance of step parent, being an authority figure, and trying to gain affection. As soon as I told her no she told her sister, little brother, and mom that I was trying to cut her out of her birthday. So suddenly I'm the bad guy to everyone.

# ? Dec 15, 2018 20:15

Barudak: May 7, 2007

chemtrail huffer posted:

(update) My (28m) wife (32f) told me she didn't want to see me and focus on her "prison family" while inside. Things are so much worse. I'm devastated.

Did anyone tell him to put money in that commisary account? Because I have a hard loving time believing that.

# ? Dec 15, 2018 20:18

Draxion: Jun 9, 2013

Barudak posted:

Did anyone tell him to put money in that commisary account? Because I have a hard loving time believing that.

A couple people were fretting over oh she'll get hurt if you don't, but "start divorce proceedings" was the overwhelming opinion and he mostly just ignored it because change is scary.

# ? Dec 15, 2018 20:22

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 31, 2024 22:52

Anne Whateley: Feb 11, 2007; i like nice words

If it weren't for the tattoo I'd think it was a "lolol it's me the guy from Orange Is the New Black" thing

# ? Dec 15, 2018 20:25

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

«‹›6020 »