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I was going to say, if she's fat, demanding, and has gorgeous hair, then she's the perfect namesake.
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Dec 30, 2018 23:46
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the keys around your neck reminded me of the stories where you were locked out and had to kick your own door in numerous times Happy New Year!
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Dec 31, 2018 04:16
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:Poopin' in the sky with some asbestos to wipe your butt with! Please have Mr. Weed take a picture of you squatting on one of those toilets and waving at us. Please. Be sober when you do it, though. A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:And finally, the picture of yours truly with her, massaging magic into Queen Bobbie's butt. You look like an American character actor. It’s driving me crazy that I can’t remember his name. He was always playing psychologists and learned men. He had a big beard, and a bit of a hooked nose. I think that beard looks good on you. Happy New Year, Fatbeard.
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Dec 31, 2018 10:35
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Veni Vidi Ameche! posted:Please have Mr. Weed take a picture of you squatting on one of those toilets and waving at us. Please. Be sober when you do it, though. Bob Balaban? 
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Dec 31, 2018 10:46
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Judd Hirsch, I think, but I am too incompetent to link a picture on phone.
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Dec 31, 2018 19:22
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I'm old so I think of him as the guy from Taxi and not so beard-y...
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Dec 31, 2018 19:37
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Omg I can't believe I got e;fb'd by a photo of Judd goddamn Hirsch, but happy New year! Okay.
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Jan 1, 2019 02:05
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:Ohhhhh shiiiiiiii!!!!! https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3532175 Thank me later. Note that the thread ended up being truncated because Radium was messing with the forums archiving code at the moment and the last page of the thread forever vanished into thin air.
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Jan 1, 2019 20:19
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GAY 4 ORGANS
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Oh wow, I do remember reading that. I remember thinking your photo from there was probably the most slavic thing I've ever seen. 
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Jan 4, 2019 03:57
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That photo is squatting in a track suit.
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Jan 4, 2019 07:22
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That photo is from 1979.
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Jan 4, 2019 10:26
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I have a helluva story. Yes, I got extremely high again, but this time on Pregabalin/Lyrica. I'm still tripping balls but I'm concise enough to write. See, I have a Lyrica prescription. I used to get high off of those pills because my body wasn't used to them, but as the time went by, my body became adjusted to the drug and also what I suspected, that I can't get high off of it anymore. I wanted to see if that's true. First I took eight capsules which would have sent me into orbit before, but this time - nothing. I then ate a months' worth of prescription for the hell of it, to see what would happen. At the same time I forgot a Pregabalin gotcha: it takes over an hour to kick in but I had to be mr. Impatient.  Anyway, after an hour and a half Pregabalin hit me like a freight train. My vision was blurred to the point where I could see jack poo poo. I have a special set of thick pedo-glasses for the times when I'm high and my vision is blurred, but not even my gradnpa's pedo glasses helped, I was legally blind. It was of course very hard to keep balance when trying to walk, and I couldn't even walk straight, just sorta shuffled around because if I made a real step, I'd fall to the floor and bang into furniture (and that's probably a bad thing.) I didn't care about music at all, and I couldn't even roll my cigarettes right, the hands wouldn't listen. Then mr Weed came and saw that I was obliterated by drugs, so he brought me a bread a and a 2L bomb of beer to keep me hydrated. I sat in the armchair of the damned (anybody who sits there ends up sleeping somehow) and sipped my beer and drooled. Then I realized I needed to pee, and boy, was it a circus. See, there's an old drawer cabinet dumped in the staircase and I already put out two ciggy butts in there, this time I went out to piss in it, forgetting that I have a working toilet. It wasn't until I whipped my dick out that I realized I have an actual working toilet! Went to the loo and did my business there, but I had a lot of trouble getting up (I always sit down to pee when I'm high or else I'd piss everywhere, it's one of my junkie rules.) After this escapade, I realized that I'm hungry and it was already around midnight, too late to order anything. I opened a can of 'mystery fart stew' which, truth to be told, isn't quite bad, just makes you fart like cattle. I ate my canned dinner and thought about how badly hosed I am and that there's no point remaining up because I was obviously not enjoying myself, so I retreated to bed at 7pm and woke up today around three in the morning, half high half sober. The problem I'm facing now is that I'm all out of medication which keeps me from freaking out, and I think I'll have to phone Drug Baba for meds to keep the gravy train going until refill time, which is 31st of January. ***** I phoned Waldo's mom, whose son was my tenant and left leaving a $2400 debt and 2400 roaches in the apartment. Waldo texted me this morning, begging me not to call his mom again because she nearly had a heart attack after the phonecall (I presented myself like some kind of shady mobster type.) Waldo said that he has a stable job in Rijeka and that he'll gradually pay back what he owes me. I know where his house is, I can torch it if waldo doesn't come true on his words (that's what they think, I'd never do such a thing.) ***** I'm broke again. Spent my inheritance on hookers and blow. Don't ask.
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Jan 9, 2019 07:15
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poo poo, I made a mistake, I didn't go to bed at 7pm, instead around 1am which is early for me. Sorry for the confusion, my mind is insanely muddled even now.
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Jan 9, 2019 07:28
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So the hookers and blow does that mean you got your cherry popped?
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Jan 9, 2019 07:36
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:I didn't care about music at all, and I couldn't even roll my cigarettes right, the hands wouldn't listen. Then mr Weed came and saw that I was obliterated by drugs, so he brought me a bread a and a 2L bomb of beer to keep me hydrated. God Bless You, MR Weed. That's a good friend, to bring food and alcohol. Stay safe until you're sober, MR FATBEARD! Also I think OP looks like Trent Reznor. Just a little. Might be the nose.
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Jan 9, 2019 07:40
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spankmeister posted:So the hookers and blow does that mean you got your cherry popped? Proverbially speaking. I pissed away 16000 euros in a matter of months, on drugs and alcohol. Those are my hookers. And if I wanted my cherry popped, I'd just go over at Vesna's, but it ain't gonna happen.
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Jan 9, 2019 07:48
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Aw man. Who knows you might be a sex addict too! Now you'll never know.
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Jan 9, 2019 07:51
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spankmeister posted:you might be a sex addict too! Now you'll never know. That's probably a good thing. Maybe. Anyway, from now on I decided to rent my apartment only to women who have pets. Marina the tenant, who had a dog, left the apartment in better shape than it was when she moved in, and I'm getting extremely good vibes from Josipa the new tenant (who also has a dog). The dog doesn't like me, she tried to bite my leg but instead she bit into a beer bottle. Josipa says the dog was abused as a puppy and now is aggressive towards the strangers. I'd like to rectify this. Any ideas?
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Jan 9, 2019 08:06
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Just texted Waldo on how I expect him to repay the debt in 100 euro installments, which is loose change if you have a decent job. This way it'll take him two years to repay the debt. I'm a nice guy, I don't want to ruin his life by playing a loan shark.
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Jan 9, 2019 08:38
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Also I finally found out the reason the cops came to wake me up on that fateful night when I was hospitalized. The story is dumb beyond belief. Anyway, I bought a new clothes cabinet and had it delivered that day. I bribed mr weed with beer (he is a carpenter, among other things) to assemble the cabinet because he'd do a much better job than I would. This means that there was knocking and banging all evening, the cabinet was done around 9pm and mr weed did a helluva good job. But the neighbor lady who lives below me heard all of those knocks and taps and she must have been pissed beyond reason. We all retreated to our beds around midnight, and I went to bed drunk and high. Then someone else made a loud bang and the lady naturally assumed I was responsible for the noise despite the fact that I was sleeping for hours before the bang. She then phoned the pigs who woke me up, totally confused, and I assumed that the noise complaint was about the radio (had no idea that it was because of the third person bang.) I then lurched towards the radio, tripped over the shop fan, lost my balance, fell and banged my face into the radiator, which nearly cost me an eye - the rest is history. It was an almost unbelievably stupid development of events, but that's exactly what went on. God-loving-dammit.
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Jan 9, 2019 09:03
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Bobbie Wickham posted:Who named the cat? As I understand it, naming pets "Bobby" is pretty much a Yugo tradition.
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Jan 9, 2019 09:19
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Remember how I said mr weed has two cats? I finally took picture of the other one, a baldie, who is constantly hiding and sleeping under her blankie which keeps her warm. Her name is Olyushka and she's absolutely tiny for an adult cat! She has peach fuzz in the summer, and grows a few wispy tufts of fur in winter, mostly on her chest. She's friendly just like Bobbie, but seeing her in action and taking a picture of her is art. I have no idea who named Bobbie and Olyushka, mr Weed says that they already had those names when they came to the family. Here she is!  She is very timid, perhaps aware of her diminutive stature. Bobbie bosses her around with no trouble. 
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Jan 9, 2019 09:25
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Maybe I should add that both Bobbie and Olyushka are champion cats who had a few litters of champion kittens before being spayed and retired as ordinary housecat pets. And yes mrs. Bobbie the moderator, Bobbie the cat has absolutely gorgeous fur, every time I see her I want to plant my face into her tummy and what's the strangest thing, she will let me do that. Other cats would have lost it, but not Bobbie. She's made out of Right Stuff.
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Jan 9, 2019 09:35
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Bobbie, sorry for the semi-spammy avalanche of posts, I'm high and I can only write when I'm high, so why not use an opportunity? 
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Jan 9, 2019 09:42
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:Bobbie, sorry for the semi-spammy avalanche of posts, I'm high and I can only write when I'm high, so why not use an opportunity? Hey, content is content, and you're incredibly coherent right now, so go for it.
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Jan 9, 2019 15:45
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:The dog doesn't like me, she tried to bite my leg but instead she bit into a beer bottle. Josipa says the dog was abused as a puppy and now is aggressive towards the strangers. I'd like to rectify this. Any ideas? It's very possible someone with an alcohol or drug problem is one of the people that abused them so you heavily remind them of that person. It's going to be an uphill battle. With the owner's permission offer the dog treats or snacks, place the treat in the palm of your hand, squat down and offer the food from your open palm. This shows the dog trust and a treat. If they dog has been tricked like this to coax it into coming near to hit it the dog may bite, if it growls you should abort. What you are looking for it is caution from the dog as it slowly sniffs and slowly comes towards you. I'd be very surprised if the dog was enthusiastic about the offer if it currently doesn't like you unless it's starved. Just give it time if the above doesn't work. Say hello %name% in a friendly voice when you see the dog, if it ignores you or acts hostile simply ignore it and do whatever else you went there to do. Eventually the dog will start to get used to you being around and if you haven't acted hostile it should slowly start to trust you, keep offering treats every so often as well, again with the owner's permission before offering food, this will work best if you can agree upon a set treat that you bring with you and can just offer.
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Jan 9, 2019 16:25
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[A dozen consecutive posts detailing continued descent into addiction and mental illness] Here's how you can get the dog to like you... I need to visit Croatia. I'm am on heroic amounts of gabapentin (I think I posted my outrageously huge pill bottles earlier in this thread), but my insurance company is steadfastly refusing too let me have Lyrica, despite my neurologist and my primary care telling them I need it. We even tried tapering the gabapentin before submitting the prescription, but nope. Meantime, Croatian flea markets have a seemingly endless supply.
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Jan 9, 2019 18:52
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:
Watch the American show the dog whisperer or Cesar 911 online. The first helped me deal with a lot of friends poorly trained excitable dogs and helped me read their body language.
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Jan 16, 2019 03:57
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Do not listen to anything Ceasar Milan says beyond maybe super basic things like "this is what a dog that is angry looks like" but even that's tainted by his other bullshit. For those who don't know, he has zero formal training or schooling in how dogs actually work and has just invented his own crazy fake dog psychology, and his "training" is literally just physically and emotionally abusing the dog until they're a broken mess that "defers" to him because it's scared shitless, not actually building a rapport with the dog. Dogs really aren't that hard to figure out, bring them food until they trust you, and don't mess with them when they're angry or corner them if they're scared. If a dog is angry or scared it will let you know and you will pick up on it, they co-evolved with humans and know how to communicate with us.
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Jan 16, 2019 04:40
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Hey, remember when I said that I have a special set of thick pedo-glasses from the Seventies which once belonged to my late grandpa? Well, here they are:  The thing is that I become extremely farsighted when I'm doing pregabalin or biperiden, and even tramadol in very high dosages. These glasses enable me to read like a normal loving person. I'm fully aware that they look really bad, but then again, I won't leave my apartment while wearing them, so the point is moot.
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Jan 16, 2019 05:32
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that beard rules
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Jan 16, 2019 05:37
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That beard is delightful and I'm glad it's there to keep you warm. Those are definitely grandfather glasses. I think my grandfather has a pair or thirty laying around his hoarders house. Your glorious head of hair prevents you from going full old fart grandpa, thankfully.
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Jan 16, 2019 06:03
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glorious
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Jan 16, 2019 08:13
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:I then ate a months' worth of prescription for the hell of it, to see what would happen.  for eternity, you're my hero.
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Jan 16, 2019 10:51
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Honestly, those glasses would fit right in at the bars near me. Also the beard.
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Jan 16, 2019 16:46
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yeah that photo looks like it came straight from some Brooklyn DSA member's Bumble
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Jan 16, 2019 21:30
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:See, I have a Lyrica prescription. I used to get high off of those pills because my body wasn't used to them, but as the time went by, my body became adjusted to the drug and also what I suspected, that I can't get high off of it anymore. I wanted to see if that's true. Seems that your experiment had a forseeable consequence. 
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Jan 16, 2019 22:46
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:Hey, remember when I said that I have a special set of thick pedo-glasses from the Seventies which once belonged to my late grandpa? i seem to recall cesar the dog whisperers entire schtick revolves around asserting dominance . Wear the glasses, bam you're done 
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Jan 17, 2019 02:38
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Are you a DJ? Or perhaps a reverend in your spare time?
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Jan 17, 2019 03:38
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| # ? May 12, 2024 22:50 |
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Chicken Doodle posted:Are you a DJ? Or perhaps a reverend in your spare time? Do we go to the same bars? DJ Reverends loving abound near me.
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Jan 17, 2019 04:13
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