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Azerban posted:just don't gently caress with people's food. don't do it. ever. even if you think you're good and well-meaning, you're actually not, you're a huge piece of poo poo, because you want to gently caress with people's food. I just want to gently caress other people's food, don't kinkshame me
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Jan 10, 2019 19:48
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Xenocides posted:I(27f) chose to give my brother(16) the sex talk, and now his dad is pissed at me. Was I in the wrong?  "We should make comprehensive sex ed mandatory to graduate each grade of high school and shoot any "parent" who wants to stop their kid from learning it.
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Jan 10, 2019 19:53
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Haifisch posted:my boss kept calling my wife to find me .. and now he won’t stop texting her apologies for all the calls "No, I'm not going to immediately and completely stop this problem that's causing us both huge stress! I'm going to get into a huge rage and fight about it, because that will be far less stressful and will definitely work despite all indications to the contrary!" Dump boss and wife.
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Jan 10, 2019 19:55
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Xenocides posted:TLDR: Family is useless at the sex talk so I took matters into my own hands towards my brother. Was I in the wrong? Nope
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Jan 10, 2019 19:58
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hockey jockey posted:"No, I'm not going to immediately and completely stop this problem that's causing us both huge stress! I'm going to get into a huge rage and fight about it, because that will be far less stressful and will definitely work despite all indications to the contrary!" Dude mentioned "paying to have the number blocked" which is a huge  for meDoes any phone service charge for that poo poo anymore?
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Jan 10, 2019 20:02
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Yawgmoth posted:[has 10 kids] "pulling out is foolproof! It already is in most public school systems, which is part of why the chuds are pushing so hard to abolish the department of education and put everyone in a custom charter school that teaches only exactly what the Whitehaven Country Club Parents' Association wants them to teach. I went to public elementary school in Canada and had age-appropriate sex ed from 5th through 8th grade, and then went to a Catholic high school and it switched to "God intended for the act of procreation and sexual pleasure to happen at the same time, so you can't separate them" which handily covers contraception, masturbation, sodomy, and homosexuality*. That was the party line from everyone at the school except the chemistry teacher, who one day pulled the blinds, locked the door, and said "I'm not allowed to tell you any of this, but....these are condoms, this is how you use them, don't be stupid and ruin your life." Good guy. *logically this also means that infertile couples and menopausal women can't have sex but I'm sure the church has some special loophole for them
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Jan 10, 2019 20:05
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Johnny Truant posted:Dude mentioned "paying to have the number blocked" which is a huge If you look it up on your carrier's site they'll imply it costs money and avoid any mention of how to do it on your phone
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Jan 10, 2019 20:10
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SciFiDownBeat posted:kill you're boyfriend Lmao. I can't believe people like this actually exist and are above the age of 21 [/quote] Funny how he was OK w/ Tracer being gay, but now that the duff macho dude is gay, that's just the last straw.
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Jan 10, 2019 20:16
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Straight White Shark posted:I'm [23f] paying my parents [42f 44m] back, after they paid for part of my college tuition. It's causing arguments between my boyfriend [26m] and I To be completely honest, while I don't exactly doubt that the boyfriend is as much of an rear end in a top hat as she's portraying him, posts like this absolutely have the primary intention of being humble bragging. They know full well that the audience is going to praise them.
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Jan 10, 2019 20:41
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CheesyDog posted:If you look it up on your carrier's site they'll imply it costs money and avoid any mention of how to do it on your phone 
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Jan 10, 2019 20:42
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Sagebrush posted:It already is in most public school systems, which is part of why the chuds are pushing so hard to abolish the department of education and put everyone in a custom charter school that teaches only exactly what the Whitehaven Country Club Parents' Association wants them to teach. The official loophole for infertile couples and menopausal women is that 'hey, miracles happen' and doing a vague handwave towards the two stories in the bible where God magically had a 90+ year old woman get pregnant.
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Jan 10, 2019 20:54
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Simply Simon posted:Boyfriend (30m) and I (22m) were mugged. He sprinted off and left me alone with mugger. He claims he was running for help but I didn't hear from him for over an hour. Just wondering how bad I should blow up his poo poo? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVX9dAj8e8w
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Jan 10, 2019 21:02
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burial posted:Over in the anonymous confessions thread, somebody wrote in claiming to be the bedridden dude from a few pages back. So gross.
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Jan 10, 2019 21:20
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Zore posted:The official loophole for infertile couples and menopausal women is that 'hey, miracles happen' and doing a vague handwave towards the two stories in the bible where God magically had a 90+ year old woman get pregnant. While sticking my dick in another man: "I'm just hoping for a miracle."
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Jan 10, 2019 21:21
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Azerban posted:this is still 100% exactly the religious excuse when it comes to kosher/halal meats I dunno how a belief that eating a food stains the soul and must be atoned for can be compared to an issue with texture but sure, they are the same in a reductive sort of way.
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Jan 10, 2019 21:32
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cumshitter posted:While sticking my dick in another man: "I'm just hoping for a miracle." hell same
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Jan 10, 2019 21:39
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Mistakes into miracles.
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Jan 10, 2019 21:43
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Admiral Ray posted:I dunno how a belief that eating a food stains the soul and must be atoned for can be compared to an issue with texture but sure, they are the same in a reductive sort of way. Vegans make no sense.
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Jan 10, 2019 21:49
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Admiral Ray posted:I dunno how a belief that eating a food stains the soul and must be atoned for can be compared to an issue with texture but sure, they are the same in a reductive sort of way. Most chicken tendie enthusiasts are way, way more dedicated to being picky than the average church-goer is dedicated to their faith
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Jan 10, 2019 21:53
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spacetoaster posted:Vegans make no sense. Vegans don't believe in souls because otherwise our existence, by necessity, is the product of animal exploitation of the body by the soul.
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Jan 10, 2019 21:57
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Clark Nova posted:Most chicken tendie enthusiasts are way, way more dedicated to being picky than the average church-goer is dedicated to their faith I disagree on the picky part...  https://people.com/food/alabama-officials-urge-drivers-to-not-eat-chicken-tenders-highway-crash/
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Jan 10, 2019 22:00
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road grit isn't a vegetable 
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Jan 10, 2019 22:07
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Clark Nova posted:road grit isn't a vegetable It does aid in digestion.
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Jan 10, 2019 22:09
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it works the same like those animals that eat rocks and poo poo
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Jan 10, 2019 22:11
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Bored posted:So gross. Well said. That’s kind of what it boils down to, yeah. I don’t care if it’s a troll or whatever because even if it is the situation described is going on somewhere.
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Jan 10, 2019 22:21
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Barudak posted:Look I use a bidet, toilet paper, babywipes, and a shower and still I feel it, the filth, crawling all over me. The only way to be sure is to remove all the skin from your anus and the surrounding area after each bowel movement. Then, through copious use of Immodium, prevent the next bowel movement until the skin has healed and regrown. This method is foolproof.
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Jan 10, 2019 22:24
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I wouldn't reuse a pastry bag so I might as well chuck the whole colon while I'm at it.
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Jan 10, 2019 22:25
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Cat Army
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LadyPictureShow posted:I disagree on the picky part... You just throws those tendies in a fryer for 30 seconds and they're good as new
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Jan 10, 2019 22:40
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Ytlaya posted:The only way to be sure is to remove all the skin from your anus and the surrounding area after each bowel movement. Then, through copious use of Immodium, prevent the next bowel movement until the skin has healed and regrown. This method is foolproof. Don't forget to burn your underwear and sanitize your rear end immaculately after you fart. Did you know there's always poo in farts???
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Jan 10, 2019 22:47
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Haifisch posted:my boss kept calling my wife to find me .. and now he won’t stop texting her apologies for all the calls Not only is the wife dumb for not blocking the number, and the boss dumb for not knowing when to stop, the OP is dumb for responding to his boss on his days off when he says he has no obligation to. I don't get people who use the same phone for work and personal use. When I'm off (especially vacation), I do not want any calls/texts/emails related to work showing up.
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Jan 10, 2019 22:59
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McSpanky posted:I have a hideous recurring dream that I'm one of these cases except that when it's discovered it invalidates everything I've done since then and I have to go back to 10th grade as a 39-year-old to take Algebra I or whatever, and I can't test out of it. I think this might be a common thing, because I have had almost identical recurring dreams (being in high school as an adult for some reason). It's always very vague and doesn't really involve any specific events other than the general concept of "being in school and feeling that things are deeply out of place and I've been left behind." edit: The main difference seems to be that your dream implies some awareness of your actual real life (with the "invalidates everything I've done") while mine generally involves no elements of my actual real life other than my age. Like, the dream usually consists of me gradually realizing that it isn't right for me to still be in high school, and then remembering my age. edit2: Also the high school building in the dream resembles my elementary school, because dreams are weird Ytlaya fucked around with this message at 23:20 on Jan 10, 2019 |
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Jan 10, 2019 23:18
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Found out husband is the one stealing shallots from neighborhood gardens This has been going on for several years. I live in a small rural neighborhood with an HOA where the houses are spread apart but neighbors are expected to keep their houses and yards nice. As with most HOAs, some members can get a little carried away with the seriousness of it all. There will be passive aggressive emails about escaped dogs, shirtless runners, unsightly fencing, etc. It really annoys my husband. I just laugh at it Well, a few years ago the neighbors got together and made a community garden in the center lot. There were a lot of emails sent about this. A lot of drama. I don’t remember all of it but people would get upset if someone took up too much space with their plants, planted something unsightly, etc So then we start getting emails complaining that someone was picking all the shallots/onions out of the garden. Some people thought it could be deer eating them. There were several theories. The next year the same thing happened and then people were also complaining that the onions/shallots were going missing from their personal gardens. This year it started happening again and people flipped out. All caps emails, demands to interrogate teenage residents, requests to put security cameras in the communal garden. Two houses were hit and then people started staking out in their gardens and putting up game cameras It started out being funny because I’m not involved with gardening so it was just amusing to read all the emails. But this year people are getting really upset and wanting to get law enforcement involved. So anyway, you already know what happens. I walk down to the bottom of our property that I don’t visit often and I find a lot of smashed onions and shallots. Like absolutely smashed to bits it clearly took a lot of work I went inside and told my husband jokingly “I think we’re being framed for the onion heist!” He got this really weird look on his face and I had the realization and asked him if he didn’t have anything to do with this He confessed to me that he did and had been stealing the onions and shallots to spite the neighbors. He was sneaking out at night to do this. I asked him why and he said he just hates them so much. I don’t even know. This makes me really uncomfortable. The man is 31 and sneaking out at night to steal onions and I didn’t even notice? Why wouldn’t he just tell me? Like this has been going on for three years it’s not like he just did it once as a prank I don’t know what to do. Can anyone help me think this through. Maybe I’m overreacting but I’m pretty upset
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Jan 10, 2019 23:19
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Tricky Dick Nixon posted:Found out husband is the one stealing shallots from neighborhood gardens This was posted before but still kinda funny even a second time.
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Jan 10, 2019 23:25
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That was already posted but onion husband rules.
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Jan 10, 2019 23:26
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That one was posted recently but IMO the only thing the husband did wrong was not savoring a delicious meal featuring the stolen shallots while reading all the histrionic nimby screeching on nextdoor e:fb
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Jan 10, 2019 23:27
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My bad, been following this thread and didn't catch it and when a friend of mine linked the original reddit post I was floored but how bizarre and amazing it was.Clark Nova posted:That one was posted recently but IMO the only thing the husband did wrong was not savoring a delicious meal featuring the stolen shallots while reading all the histrionic nimby screeching on nextdoor Yeah a complete waste of some very underappreciated allium
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Jan 10, 2019 23:37
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On either side the river lie Long fields of barley and of rye, That clothe the wold and meet the sky; And through the field the road runs by To many-towered Camelot; And up and down the people go, Gazing where the lilies blow The commune garden there below, To see the smashed shallots
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Jan 10, 2019 23:46
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It was already posted that the onion post was already posted
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Jan 10, 2019 23:49
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He should have replaced them with radishes
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Jan 10, 2019 23:51
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Sagebrush posted:It already is in most public school systems, which is part of why the chuds are pushing so hard to abolish the department of education and put everyone in a custom charter school that teaches only exactly what the Whitehaven Country Club Parents' Association wants them to teach. John Oliver did a bit on this, and while it is likely you'll have it, the content of the course is WILDLY different depending on how right wing your area is. You can still get abstinence-only scare tactic "ALLL STDS ROT YOUR BRAIN" classes all over.
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