funny politics shit you remember: The Maltese Failson

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > funny politics shit you remember: The Maltese Failson

IWW Online Branch: Apr 20, 2016; by Nyc_Tattoo

That time when Brexiters were saying they didn't need the EU's trade deals because they could just negotiate their own and then Obama was like "lol who the gently caress wants to trade with the UK?"

# ? Jan 10, 2019 16:16

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# ? May 25, 2024 19:57

Flavius Aetass: Mar 30, 2011

the mother and father in danzig's "mother" are tipper and al gore

# ? Jan 10, 2019 16:20

Mr. Lobe: Feb 23, 2007; ... Dry bones...

WhiskeyJuvenile posted:

she'll have to cry herself to sleep in her pile of money

rich people manage to be miserable all the time, it seems like its one of their main emotional states from what I have experienced of them. But like I said, her personal misery is a consolation prize, not a victory

# ? Jan 10, 2019 16:27

Zerg Mans: Oct 19, 2006

Mr. Lobe posted:

as terrible as Trump is and has been for the world over the past couple of years, it is a consolation prize to think about her venal, sociopathic ego being shattered into teeny, tiny bits. just imagine being a fly on her wall on election night.

Ed Klein has some slashfic about that

# ? Jan 10, 2019 16:29

Dr. Kyle Farnsworth: Apr 23, 2004

John Edwards was basically The Next Kennedy until it came out that he�d used campaign contributions to cover up an affair and even fathered a child while his wife was dying of cancer.

also yes, that post-election period when liberals convinced themselves the electoral college would actually throw the election to Hillary JUST LIKE IN THE POPULAR MUSICAL HAMILTON.

# ? Jan 10, 2019 16:52

Filthy Hans: Jun 27, 2008; by Fluffdaddy
(and can't post for 10 years!)

MikeCrotch posted:

Fiasco by Thomas Ricks is about Iraq specifically but the first part covers how the Bush administration used the hysteria to push their fabricated case for war

Speaking of Iraq, Paul Bremer firing the entire Iraqi army overnight lol

He made it impossible for anyone who was a Ba'ath Party member to work in Iraq, which meant not only was the entire army fired but everyone in local government and all the teachers too

# ? Jan 10, 2019 16:53

HobbitGrease: Jul 24, 2001; Young Orc

Filthy Hans posted:

He made it impossible for anyone who was a Ba'ath Party member to work in Iraq, which meant not only was the entire army fired but everyone in local government and all the teachers too

holy lol, i forgot about this

# ? Jan 10, 2019 17:07

Azathoth: Apr 3, 2001

Dr. Kyle Farnsworth posted:

John Edwards was basically The Next Kennedy until it came out that he’d used campaign contributions to cover up an affair and even fathered a child while his wife was dying of cancer.

that was kennedy af

# ? Jan 10, 2019 17:08

Flavius Aetass: Mar 30, 2011

Dr. Kyle Farnsworth posted:

John Edwards was basically The Next Kennedy until it came out that he�d used campaign contributions to cover up an affair and even fathered a child while his wife was dying of cancer.

also yes, that post-election period when liberals convinced themselves the electoral college would actually throw the election to Hillary JUST LIKE IN THE POPULAR MUSICAL HAMILTON.

i think the $400 haircuts would have killed his campaign anyway

# ? Jan 10, 2019 17:14

ikanreed: Sep 25, 2009; I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

Dr. Kyle Farnsworth posted:

John Edwards was basically The Next Kennedy until it came out that he’d used campaign contributions to cover up an affair and even fathered a child while his wife was dying of cancer.

also yes, that post-election period when liberals convinced themselves the electoral college would actually throw the election to Hillary JUST LIKE IN THE POPULAR MUSICAL HAMILTON.

That got approximately the same amount of airtime as him getting an expensive hair cut

# ? Jan 10, 2019 17:21

Zerg Mans: Oct 19, 2006

The Clinton White House vandalism lie

# ? Jan 10, 2019 17:22

ikanreed: Sep 25, 2009; I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

zegermans posted:

The Clinton White House vandalism lie

See that wasn't funny. It was disappointing that it was false and dumb

# ? Jan 10, 2019 17:38

Harold Stassen: Jan 24, 2016

to be fair Edwards did have amazing hair

# ? Jan 10, 2019 17:57

Harold Stassen: Jan 24, 2016

John McCain crashed five planes and blew up his own aircraft carrier

# ? Jan 10, 2019 17:58

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Dr. Kyle Farnsworth posted:

John Edwards was basically The Next Kennedy until it came out that he�d used campaign contributions to cover up an affair and even fathered a child while his wife was dying of cancer.

also yes, that post-election period when liberals convinced themselves the electoral college would actually throw the election to Hillary JUST LIKE IN THE POPULAR MUSICAL HAMILTON.

the persistent rumor about john edwards having an absolutely enormous hog

H.P. Hovercraft has issued a correction as of 18:07 on Jan 10, 2019

# ? Jan 10, 2019 18:05

Javid: Oct 21, 2004

Mr. Lobe posted:

as terrible as Trump is and has been for the world over the past couple of years, it is a consolation prize to think about her venal, sociopathic ego being shattered into teeny, tiny bits. just imagine being a fly on her wall on election night.

There were transition meetings at the White House already scheduled before election night. They seriously thought they had it in the bag. I can only hope someone who witnessed the moment she got the news documents the reaction in a book at some point.

# ? Jan 10, 2019 18:11

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Javid posted:

There were transition meetings at the White House already scheduled before election night. They seriously thought they had it in the bag. I can only hope someone who witnessed the moment she got the news documents the reaction in a book at some point.

# ? Jan 10, 2019 18:18

StashAugustine: Mar 24, 2013; Do not trust in hope- it will betray you! Only faith and hatred sustain.

John Edwards accepted the veep position from Kerry by telling him an emotional story about his father's death that hed never told anyone before, except Kerry clearly remembered Edwards telling him the exact same story before.

# ? Jan 10, 2019 18:19

Harold Stassen: Jan 24, 2016

StashAugustine posted:

John Edwards accepted the veep position from Kerry by telling him an emotional story about his father's death that hed never told anyone before, except Kerry clearly remembered Edwards telling him the exact same story before.

edwards: I am a pure liability and an ambition elemental. listen to me tell you a huge lie (again). take me as your running mate

kerry: :ok:

# ? Jan 10, 2019 18:26

HobbitGrease: Jul 24, 2001; Young Orc

coverage of the Summer of the Shark only stopped because 9/11 happened

# ? Jan 10, 2019 19:03

Doktor Avalanche: Dec 30, 2008

StashAugustine posted:

John Edwards accepted the veep position from Kerry by telling him an emotional story about his father's death that hed never told anyone before, except Kerry clearly remembered Edwards telling him the exact same story before.

the story was about the death of his son
loving psycho

# ? Jan 10, 2019 19:10

HobbitGrease: Jul 24, 2001; Young Orc

speaking of that weird time post-Bush II inauguration and pre-9/11, the Japanese Prime Minister during the end of Clinton's time and the beginning of Bush II's time was a hilariously unpopular and inept doofus that played lots of golf

quote:

The media coverage of Mori's term as prime minister was dominated by his gaffes and undiplomatic comments. Even prior to his election as prime minister, he had been described in the Japanese media as having "the heart of a flea and the brain of a shark."[6][7]

In January 2000, he made a joke about his campaign in the 1969 election: "When I was greeting farmers from my car, they all went into their homes. I felt like I had AIDS."[7]

In February 2000, when asked about the Year 2000 problem in the United States, Mori quipped that "when there is a blackout, the murderers always come out. It's that type of society."[7]

At Obuchi's funeral, Mori failed to clap and bow properly before Obuchi's shrine, an important portion of a traditional Japanese funeral rite. The other world leaders present at the funeral, including then U.S. President Bill Clinton, performed the ritual correctly.[8]

At a meeting of Shinto followers in Tokyo in May 2000, Mori described Japan as "a nation of deities (kami no kuni) with the Emperor at its center." This "divine nation statement" stirred controversy in Japan as it invoked the official interpretation of the Emperor as a divine entity during the days of the Empire of Japan.[9] Days after this statement, Mori questioned whether the Japan Communist Party could "ensure Japan's security and defend the kokutai", using a term for Japan's unity with its divine emperor which had not been in common use since World War II.[10]

During the June 2000 election, when asked about recent newspaper reports that showed that roughly half of the voters still had not decided for whom to vote, he replied that they could "stay in bed for the day."[11]

In October 2000, during a dialogue with British prime minister Tony Blair, Mori stated that the Japanese government had suggested in 1997 that Japanese nationals believed to be abducted by North Korea be arranged to be "found" elsewhere in order to ensure a smooth normalization of the relation between North Korea and Japan, which upset the foreign ministry and led to calls for Mori's resignation from conservative voices within the LDP.[12]

In December 2000, pictures appeared in the weekly magazine Shukan Gendai showing him drinking in an Osaka bar with a high-ranking Yakuza.[13]

In February 2001, the US submarine USS Greeneville accidentally hit and sank the Japanese fishing ship Ehime Maru during an emergency surface drill on 9 February 2001, resulting in 9 dead students and teachers. Mori continued a round of golf after being told of the incident, for which he was criticized as being politically tone-deaf.[14]

One unsubstantiated story concerned the 26th G8 summit in 2000, at which upon meeting U.S. President Bill Clinton, Mori was to say "How are you". Instead, he allegedly slipped up and said "Who are you;" Clinton answered "Well, I'm Hillary Clinton's husband", to which Mori replied "Me too". Snopes.com reported that this was obviously a low-quality fabrication/joke and that the same story had been told about Kim Young-sam several months earlier.[15] It was nonetheless reported by some mainstream media outlets such as ABC in Australia.[16]

# ? Jan 10, 2019 19:10

THS: Sep 15, 2017

not a cult posted:

the story was about the death of his son
loving psycho

yeah john edwards was a chilling case. even teenage me could see he was a huge drat creep at the time

# ? Jan 10, 2019 19:23

MikeCrotch: Nov 5, 2011; I AM UNJUSTIFIABLY PROUD OF MY SPAGHETTI BOLOGNESE RECIPE

YES, IT IS AN INCREDIBLY SIMPLE DISH

NO, IT IS NOT NORMAL TO USE A PEPPERAMI INSTEAD OF MINCED MEAT

YES, THERE IS TOO MUCH SALT IN MY RECIPE

NO, I WON'T STOP SHARING IT

more like BOLLOCKnese

Javid posted:

There were transition meetings at the White House already scheduled before election night. They seriously thought they had it in the bag. I can only hope someone who witnessed the moment she got the news documents the reaction in a book at some point.

on a similar vein Labour shadow cabinet minister Yvette Cooper had a team set up ready to launch a leadership campaign after the 2017 General Election and had to fire them all when it turned out Corbyn and Labour had done much better than expected

# ? Jan 10, 2019 20:09

IWW Online Branch: Apr 20, 2016; by Nyc_Tattoo

https://www.ibtimes.com/romney-so-shellshocked-election-loss-he-didnt-write-concession-speech-866316

https://nypost.com/2017/09/10/hillary-admits-she-had-no-concession-speech-ready/

# ? Jan 10, 2019 20:13

Javid: Oct 21, 2004

she tempted the wrath from high atop the thing

# ? Jan 10, 2019 20:18

IWW Online Branch: Apr 20, 2016; by Nyc_Tattoo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1Rv6vUxPMs

Had a minor freakout when I saw the date on this and realized it happened less than two years ago. Feels like it's been a decade lol

# ? Jan 10, 2019 20:28

emdash: Oct 19, 2003; and?

trump said japan won't accept american car imports because they test american car imports by dropping a bowling ball on them to see if it makes a dent

# ? Jan 10, 2019 20:28

Harold Stassen: Jan 24, 2016

Romney�s plane entering the hangar to the Last American Hero after losing and the plane having to stop and reverse in truly anticlimactic fashion

# ? Jan 10, 2019 20:39

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

bill clinton's 1992 campaign promise to "end welfare as we know it"

which he fulfilled in 1996, helping to earn him his reelection

# ? Jan 10, 2019 21:16

Homeless Friend: Jul 16, 2007

A Handed Missus posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixIWovwR4iQ

# ? Jan 10, 2019 21:20

misdirectomy: Feb 19, 2008

A Saudi government twitter account threatened to 9/11 Canada

# ? Jan 10, 2019 22:15

jerry seinfel: Jun 25, 2007

carly fiorina

# ? Jan 10, 2019 23:14

theflyingexecutive: Apr 22, 2007

jerry seinfel posted:

carly fiorina

yeah I just listened to cum town too

# ? Jan 10, 2019 23:47

jerry seinfel: Jun 25, 2007

theflyingexecutive posted:

yeah I just listened to cum town too

hell yeah bro

remember when she kidnapped those children

# ? Jan 11, 2019 00:14

Filthy Hans: Jun 27, 2008; by Fluffdaddy
(and can't post for 10 years!)

jerry seinfel posted:

hell yeah bro

remember when she kidnapped those children

a ghost just passed smelling salts under my nose

# ? Jan 11, 2019 00:24

MikeCrotch: Nov 5, 2011; I AM UNJUSTIFIABLY PROUD OF MY SPAGHETTI BOLOGNESE RECIPE

YES, IT IS AN INCREDIBLY SIMPLE DISH

NO, IT IS NOT NORMAL TO USE A PEPPERAMI INSTEAD OF MINCED MEAT

YES, THERE IS TOO MUCH SALT IN MY RECIPE

NO, I WON'T STOP SHARING IT

more like BOLLOCKnese