January 2019 Current Events: corn on the cob in January

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > January 2019 Current Events: corn on the cob in January

Hot Karl Marx: Mar 16, 2009; Politburo regulations about social distancing require to downgrade your Karlmarxing to cold, and sorry about the dnc primaries, please enjoy!

you can't turn right on red light on the island in montreal but thats cause they drive like loving maniacs. loving frenchmen

# ? Jan 27, 2019 14:37

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# ? Jun 1, 2024 10:27

Torrannor: Apr 27, 2013; ---FAGNER---
TEAM-MATE

I'm not religious at all, because I was born in the German Democratic Republic. I don't even have any relatives that are church members. All atheists or agnostics or simply non-believers.

# ? Jan 27, 2019 15:05

Mr. Nice!: Oct 13, 2005; bone shaking.
soul baking.

Remember two years ago trump signed an EP to hire 15k more CBP agents? Well, they were given almost $300m to do so. $60m of that went to Accenture, a contractor, to vet and hire these agents. In two years they�ve hired 33 new people.

# ? Jan 27, 2019 15:20

Nostalgia4Infinity: Feb 27, 2007; 10,000 YEARS WASN'T ENOUGH LURKING

Mr. Nice! posted:

Please don�t post Bill Mitchell in this thread unless he�s an actual current event.

He�s less newsworthy than Jacob Wohl at this point.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPWYcjypSWo

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Jan 27, 2019 15:23

Reign Of Pain: May 1, 2005; Nap Ghost

God is money.

# ? Jan 27, 2019 15:25

Cugel the Clever: Apr 5, 2009; I LOVE AMERICA AND CAPITALISM DESPITE BEING POOR AS FUCK. I WILL NEVER RETIRE BUT HERE'S ANOTHER 200$ FOR UKRAINE, SLAVA

Briefly attended a couple churches with the family as a kid, but we never really stuck to it and I didn't really understand what the whole "god" thing was all about until after I learned that Santa Claus isn't real, so lifelong atheist, here.

I really wish the collosal shitbirds that keep vociferously claiming to represent non-belief and skepticism in public discourse would all go die in a fire. In my teens, I stumbled across a YouTube channel with a pretty narrow focus on the word of the Bible and the problems inherent in it, but then found my "recommended" videos filled with racist, proto-alt-right, misogynists claiming to be voices of reason. So glad that I noped out of that immediately.

As for Venezuela: Chavez and Maduro are kleptocratic scumbags that only filled the bellies of the poor to stay in power while lining their own pockets. As a socialist myself, I consider them a prime example of why we must not let populist rhetoric and meager handouts blind us to the need to hold our representatives accountable.

# ? Jan 27, 2019 15:27

Duzzy Funlop: Jan 13, 2010; Hi there, would you like to try some spicy products?

Mr. Nice! posted:

Remember two years ago trump signed an EP to hire 15k more CBP agents? Well, they were given almost $300m to do so. $60m of that went to Accenture, a contractor, to vet and hire these agents. In two years they�ve hired 33 new people.

Keep in mind that these 33 agents aren't additions on top of personnel retention. It's 33 agents total.
CBP now has like a thousand fewer agents than 2 years ago.

# ? Jan 27, 2019 15:27

mlmp08: Jul 11, 2004; Prepare for my priapic projectile's exalted penetration; Nap Ghost

https://twitter.com/illybocean/status/1089379824332791809?s=21

# ? Jan 27, 2019 15:38

DaNerd: Sep 15, 2009; u br?

LongDarkNight posted:

Right on red is the default unless marked otherwise.

In NYC (what people mean when they say NY) there is no right on red unless otherwise marked.

# ? Jan 27, 2019 15:39

Vasudus: May 30, 2003

The golden rule of consulting is:

If you can't be part of the solution, there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem.

Why in the gently caress they hired a firm to do it and why Accenture of all things is a mystery to me. Wanna see that PWS.

# ? Jan 27, 2019 15:41

Waroduce: Aug 5, 2008

mlmp08 posted:

https://twitter.com/illybocean/status/1089379824332791809?s=21

Bellator MMA which is the less talented good fighting organization compared to UFC had marines present arms and some country singer (I'm assuming) sing the anthem. It was weird I've never seen that before a fight. Also Fedor is russian and they didnt do the russian anthem

# ? Jan 27, 2019 15:45

Mr. Nice!: Oct 13, 2005; bone shaking.
soul baking.

Waroduce posted:

Bellator MMA which is the less talented good fighting organization compared to UFC had marines present arms and some country singer (I'm assuming) sing the anthem. It was weird I've never seen that before a fight. Also Fedor is russian and they didnt do the russian anthem

Fedor also was knocked out in ~35 seconds after the first punch bader threw knocked him to the ground and the first followup on the ground put him out.

# ? Jan 27, 2019 15:47

Proud Christian Mom: Dec 20, 2006; READING COMPREHENSION IS HARD

https://twitter.com/JosephHDempsey/status/1089271495015235584?s=19

# ? Jan 27, 2019 15:55

aphid_licker: Jan 7, 2009

Force de Fappe posted:

Blood for Odin.

Because if I'm gonna play Pascal's wager I'm gonna play it with beer, fatty pork and big tiddy valkyries until the end of days as the prize.

Is there a vegetarian menu?

# ? Jan 27, 2019 15:57

Duzzy Funlop: Jan 13, 2010; Hi there, would you like to try some spicy products?

Mr. Nice! posted:

Fedor also was knocked out in ~35 seconds after the first punch bader threw knocked him to the ground and the first followup on the ground put him out.

Are you loving kidding me? :lol:

I forgot to stay tuned into that dumb tournament and missed the fight this morning. But honestly, that was the most logical outcome of that tournament after the glorious performances of Mitrione, Badel, Chael etc.

# ? Jan 27, 2019 16:03

Vasudus: May 30, 2003

Proud Christian Mom posted:

https://twitter.com/JosephHDempsey/status/1089271495015235584?s=19

maintain your airframes folks

# ? Jan 27, 2019 16:08

Richard Bong: Dec 11, 2008

Proud Christian Mom posted:

https://twitter.com/JosephHDempsey/status/1089271495015235584?s=19

Holeee poo poo. Did they live?

# ? Jan 27, 2019 16:19

Duzzy Funlop: Jan 13, 2010; Hi there, would you like to try some spicy products?

Waroduce posted:

Bellator MMA which is the less talented good fighting organization compared to UFC had marines present arms and some country singer (I'm assuming) sing the anthem. It was weird I've never seen that before a fight. Also Fedor is russian and they didnt do the russian anthem

They did, though?

Richard Bong posted:

Holeee poo poo. Did they live?

It looks like the cockpit got shaved of and road-rashed to hell and back while the rest of the fuselage pushed overhead, Jesus.

# ? Jan 27, 2019 16:20

Stravag: Jun 7, 2009

sharknado slashfic posted:

There's no right on red in NY? No wonder the Republicans are so far ahead politically.

As someone born in NY what the gently caress are you people talking about? We right on red all the time. Troy even has left on reds on one way streets in some parts. Maybe not in certain parts of the city?

# ? Jan 27, 2019 16:22

The Iron Rose: May 12, 2012; Cat Army

Richard Bong posted:

Holeee poo poo. Did they live?

Nope. Four pilots and somehow one of them survived. I have no idea how since I believe they all sit in the front on a Tu-22M

# ? Jan 27, 2019 16:23

Vasudus: May 30, 2003

that's the most russian plane crash too

just falls apart

# ? Jan 27, 2019 16:25

A Bad Poster: Sep 25, 2006; Seriously, shut the fuck up.

Touches ground, fuselage splits in half. How the gently caress?

# ? Jan 27, 2019 16:28

That Works: Jul 22, 2006; Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy

A Bad Poster posted:

Touches ground, fuselage splits in half. How the gently caress?

Compare to normal landing approach

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-osnXmmAlo

Coming down super fast in the snow, guessing they were a bit lower than they thought they were.

# ? Jan 27, 2019 16:30

Carteret: Nov 10, 2012

The gif doesn't show the scale of the craft, so the velocity is way higher than you think it is. Those things are BIG and it hit hard.

# ? Jan 27, 2019 16:33

As Nero Danced: Sep 3, 2009; Alright, let's do this

DaNerd posted:

In NYC (what people mean when they say NY) there is no right on red unless otherwise marked.

NYC sounds like a godless place, full of profane public transport and sacrilegious subways.

Also that plane crash reminds me of that one crash in diehard 2 only without bruce willis' wig.

# ? Jan 27, 2019 16:34

mlmp08: Jul 11, 2004; Prepare for my priapic projectile's exalted penetration; Nap Ghost

According to Russian media, a major snowstorm popped up in a known phenomenon, but one that can strike with little or no warning. Their initial training mission didn't include landing in a snowstorm. Initial report is pilot error, which is one way to say the pilots slammed the bird down so hard they broke its spine.

# ? Jan 27, 2019 16:34

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

That Works posted:

Compare to normal landing approach

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-osnXmmAlo

Coming down super fast in the snow, guessing they were a bit lower than they thought they were.

The initial report says they came in overweight too.

e: here we go:

AreWeDrunkYet fucked around with this message at 16:38 on Jan 27, 2019

# ? Jan 27, 2019 16:36

mlmp08: Jul 11, 2004; Prepare for my priapic projectile's exalted penetration; Nap Ghost

mlmp08 posted:

This is stating the obvious, but that bird came in hot/steep.

Regular landing approach:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-osnXmmAlo&t=44s

Death approach:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHMSSU_XyxU&t=70s

If they did come in overweight, I wonder if they were trying to rapidly get on the ground before weather got even worse, thus motivating a crew to "assume risk" on stuff like weight and be so worried about the time to go around that you just tell yourself you got this when clearly you do not.

# ? Jan 27, 2019 16:38

SquirrelyPSU: May 27, 2003

I'm not familiar with this airplane, is the runway really narrow or is that thing the size of a 747?

# ? Jan 27, 2019 16:42

CMD598: Apr 12, 2013

I'll take all of the above and add untreated corrosion in the frame. Hard bounce or not the gear didn't collapse, which is usually what ends up happening.

# ? Jan 27, 2019 16:44

mlmp08: Jul 11, 2004; Prepare for my priapic projectile's exalted penetration; Nap Ghost

SquirrelyPSU posted:

I'm not familiar with this airplane, is the runway really narrow or is that thing the size of a 747?

They're loving big.

113 foot wingspan with wings folded out for landing.

E: But the TU-160 makes them look tiny, because it is gargantuan.

# ? Jan 27, 2019 16:45

Stravag: Jun 7, 2009

SquirrelyPSU posted:

I'm not familiar with this airplane, is the runway really narrow or is that thing the size of a 747?

139 feet long 112 foot wing span at full extend. Its a slightly smaller b1 lancer. 747-400 is about 100 feet longer and wider

# ? Jan 27, 2019 16:49

LongDarkNight: Oct 25, 2010; It's like watching the collapse of Western civilization in fast forward.; Oven Wrangler

DaNerd posted:

In NYC (what people mean when they say NY) there is no right on red unless otherwise marked.

Enjoy your nanny state, city scum.

Stravag posted:

As someone born in NY what the gently caress are you people talking about? We right on red all the time. Troy even has left on reds on one way streets in some parts. Maybe not in certain parts of the city?

Congrats on the hepatitis.

# ? Jan 27, 2019 16:51

Lake of Methane: Oct 29, 2011

From the OIG report from Dec 6, 2018, emphasis mine:

quote:

In November 2017, CBP awarded Accenture a $297 million contract to help meet the demands of recruiting and hiring agents and officers under the President�s January 25, 2017 Executive Order, Border Security and Immigration Enforcement Improvements. The contract includes 1 base year, with 4 option years, to hire 7,500 fully qualified applicants, including Customs and Border Protection Officers, Border Patrol Agents, and Air and Marine Interdiction Agents. According to its Performance Work Statement (PWS), Accenture agreed to recruit enough highly qualified frontline candidates to satisfy the Executive Order and complete CBP�s 12-step hiring process, as shown in figure 1, in its entirety by:

implementing a leading edge process and tools to improve candidate quality, reduce time to hire, and maintain CBP�s direct hire authority;

implementing a core recruiting and hiring technology solution to manage information and actions throughout the hiring process;

providing a team of experienced Federal human resource personnel and testing, medical, polygraph, and background investigation practitioners to complete all hiring steps; and

managing a team of subcontractors responsible for delivering a cohesive turnkey recruiting and hiring operation

The intention was for Accenture to execute its hiring process in parallel with the existing CBP hiring process, but to collaborate with CBP to ensure Accenture complied with applicable Federal mandates. CBP designed the contract to pay Accenture based on its performance and delivery of qualified applicants, as demonstrated by successful completion of all steps of the hiring process. CBP agreed to pay approximately $40,000 per hire during the base year � 80 percent upon accepted offer and 20 percent once an applicant enters on duty.

In July 2018, we initiated an audit to determine whether CBP awarded and is managing its $297 million hiring contract with Accenture in a fiscally responsible manner according to Federal, departmental, and component requirements. The audit was in response to multiple OIG Hotline complaints related to the performance and management of the Accenture hiring contract. This alert describes serious performance issues with the Accenture contract that we identified during our review.

quote:

Accenture Has Not Provided the Promised Hiring Process or Results

CBP hired Accenture to recruit and hire qualified candidates. According to the PWS, Accenture claimed it would have the capability and capacity to perform all steps of the hiring process within 90 days of awarding the contract. However, with the contract nearing the end of its base year, Accenture has yet to demonstrate the efficient, innovative, and expertly run hiring process described in its PWS. In addition, before awarding Accenture the contract, CBP did not ensure the proposed systems and processes, such as applicant tracking, complied with all applicable laws and regulations or could be integrated into its hiring process. CBP also did not establish metrics to assess the contractor�s performance and hold the contractor accountable. Yet, as of October 1, 2018 � 10 months into the contract � CBP has paid Accenture approximately $13.6 million for startup costs, security requirements, recruiting, and applicant support. In return, Accenture has processed two accepted job offers.

Accenture Relied on CBP Resources to Fulfill Contract Obligations

Accenture was supposed to provide a team of technical experts and tools to fulfill contract requirements. Instead, Accenture relied heavily on CBP resources to complete the hiring process. Accenture did not always provide necessary technical experts and experienced vendors, such as human resource personnel and those involved in the background investigation process, to complete CBP�s hiring process end-to-end, as it indicated it would in the PWS. Accenture also claimed it could provide an innovative applicant tracking system to manage the hiring process. However, Accenture did not deploy its proposed applicant tracking system and used CBP�s hiring system instead. Further, Accenture could not track results of its online marketing and recruitment efforts due to Office of Management and Budget restrictions, as well as privacy concerns.

Recognizing Accenture could not fulfill the PWS requirements without significant delays, CBP agreed to modify the contract to accommodate Accenture. CBP provided Accenture an additional 3-month interim period, from March through June 2018, to continue to ramp up operations and build the necessary capacity to fulfill the original contract terms.

It looks like part of the contract included developing some kind of Voight-Kampf machine ("EyeDetect") in lieu of a traditional polygraph.

# ? Jan 27, 2019 16:51

Stravag: Jun 7, 2009

LongDarkNight posted:

Enjoy your nanny state, city scum.

Congrats on the hepatitis.

Never lived in troyliet just went there a bunch for work. I was nearer saratoga.

# ? Jan 27, 2019 16:54

Vasudus: May 30, 2003

five bucks says they didn't get a data use agreement to hook in to their personnel system until several++ months in to the contract (without reading the full report)

i mean i'm not trying to really defend accenture here, but that poo poo happens all the time

the other half of my contract has a dashboard thing that requires joint service data, they didn't get army data until 18 months after requesting it so for those 18 months the reports literally said 'it doesn't work, sorry' until it did

...as i read this thing it's more and more fantasty voodoo magic, as in the feds wanted voodoo and accenture said 'we do voodoo!' and thus here we are

l-m-a-o

# ? Jan 27, 2019 16:57

mlmp08: Jul 11, 2004; Prepare for my priapic projectile's exalted penetration; Nap Ghost

https://twitter.com/dxbmediaoffice/status/1089547416037191680?s=21

# ? Jan 27, 2019 17:06

Proud Christian Mom: Dec 20, 2006; READING COMPREHENSION IS HARD

The Iron Rose posted:

Nope. Four pilots and somehow one of them survived. I have no idea how since I believe they all sit in the front on a Tu-22M

another tweet said 2 died in the wreck, 2 survived but later but succumbed to injuries

# ? Jan 27, 2019 17:09

Stravag: Jun 7, 2009

Didnt the UAE not allow women to drive until this year? Or am I thinking of the Saudis?

# ? Jan 27, 2019 17:09

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# ? Jun 1, 2024 10:27

Hexyflexy: Sep 2, 2011; asymptotically approaching one

Stravag posted:

Didnt the UAE not allow women to drive until this year? Or am I thinking of the Saudis?

Saudi about 6 months ago.

# ? Jan 27, 2019 17:11

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