Heath posted:

Mass dietary changes have to be made culturally and not from the top down, and necessity drives those changes more than anything else, and if you don't think people would gladly start shooting each other over their right to eat a steak you've got too much faith

R. Guyovich posted:

ebert did this a lot. it predates youtube

hackbunny posted:

Why don't you do it? I'm a sucker for critical analysis and if we don't already have a thread for it in C-SPAM, we should

Some Guy TT posted:

we keep talking about doing this and the main reason i havent made the thread yet is because im really busy right now i want to take the time to put serious effort into it the thread will be about american pop culture as a whole and not just film for what its worth

Bogus Adventure posted:

Battlefield Earth is great if you want to laugh at something ridiculously absurd.

BENGHAZI 2 posted:

Ebert was good tho because of how unabashedly he loved titties and how willing he was to given better ratings to movies with good ones

quote:

I will, however, discuss the puzzling role of Ginger, the Halle Berry character. She goes through the motions of being the pretty girl who seduces the hero into working for the secret organization. But this is strange, since Stanley shows little interest in her, and Ginger ostensibly belongs to Gabriel. This does not prevent a scene in which she bares her breasts to tempt the untemptable Stanley. This scene came as a huge relief because I thought the movies, in their rush to the PG-13 rating, had forgotten about breasts. In the age of computerized sci-fi special effects, beautiful skin finishes a distant second at the box office. Once teenage boys wanted to see Emmanuelle undulating; now they want to see Keanu Reeves levitating.

R. Guyovich posted:

R. Guyovich posted:

Heated Gaming Moment posted:

R. Guyovich posted:

the bitcoin of weed posted:

if everyone in an american suburb for some reason had a switch they could set to either a)kill a million people in the developing world or b)make hamburgers more expensive, they would absolutely nearly all pick the option, and this is a climate metaphor

BENGHAZI 2 posted:

I think ebert did a review of tomb raider that was literally like

Movie sucked but Angelina has some bodacious titties

quote:

We now visit "Venice, Italy," where the Illuminati gather, and then there is an expedition to the frozen northern land where the ancient city awaits in a Dead Zone inside the crater created by the meteor that brought the Key to Time here to Earth--I think. Machines do not work in the Dead Zone, so Lara and the others have to use dogsleds. It is cold on the tundra, and everyone wears fur-lined parkas. Everyone but Lara, whose light gray designer cape sweeps behind her so that we can admire the tight matching sweater she is wearing, which clings tightly to those parts of her body that can be found a foot below and a little to the front of her great ears.

Did I enjoy the movie? Yes. Is it up there with the Indiana Jones pictures? No, although its art direction and set design are (especially in the tomb with all the dead roots hanging down like tendrils). Was I filled with suspense? No. Since I had no idea what was going to happen, should happen, shouldn't happen or what it meant if it did happen, I could hardly be expected to care. But did I grin with delight at the absurdity it all? You betcha.

quote:

Not everybody could play Lara Croft. Not everybody would want to, but that's another matter. Rich, humorless, awesomely competent, ambiguous about romance, stacked, she emerges in "Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life" as once again a heroine too busy saving the world to trouble herself with tomb raiding. In fact, she isn't really a raider at all; the word suggests criminal activities, when perhaps it is only intended to remind us of raiders of lost arks and suchlike.

In the somewhat murky chronology she describes early in the film, the original box arrived from outer space, and was discovered by an Egyptian pharaoh in 2300 B.C. "in a place he called the Cradle of Life," she explains to her colleagues, mentioning Pandora's Box. "You mean the Greek myth?" she is asked. "That's the Sunday school version," she says. Only Lara Croft would go to a Sunday school that teaches Greek myth.

As it turns out, the location of the Cradle of Life is encoded on the outer surfaces of a glowing sphere that Lara and Terry find in Alexander's undersea temple, which inexplicably remains watertight until midway through their visit, after which it leaks and crumbles admirably. To escape back to the surface, Lara slashes her wrist so the blood will attract a shark, hits the shark in the nose to confuse it, and holds onto its fin as it swims for the top. Now that's a tomb raider.

A Big Fuckin Hornet posted:

i've read his review of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern several times and i still don't understand why he gave it 0 stars.

R. Guyovich posted:

the sequel:


pretty restrained, all things considered

quote:

"Rapa Nui" slips through the National Geographic Loophole. This is the Hollywood convention which teaches us that brown breasts are not as sinful as white ones, and so while it may be evil to gaze upon a blond Playboy centerfold and feel lust in our hearts, it is educational to watch Polynesian maidens frolicking topless in the surf. This isn't sex; it's geography.

For years in my liberal youth I thought this loophole was racist, an evil double standard in which white women were protected from exposure while "native" women were cruelly stripped of their bras, not to mention the equal protection of the MPAA. While watching "Rapa Nui," in which there are dozens if not hundreds of wonderful bare breasts on view, I have changed my mind. Since womens' breasts are the most aesthetically pleasing part of the human anatomy, it is only a blessing if your culture celebrates them.

[...]

Concern for my reputation prevents me from recommending this movie. I wish I had more nerve. I wish I could simply write, "Look, of course it's one of the worst movies ever made. But it has hilarious dialogue, a weirdo action climax, a bizarre explanation for the faces of Easter Island, and dozens if not hundreds of wonderful bare breasts." I am however a responsible film critic and must conclude that "Rapa Nui" is a bad film. If you want to see it anyway, of course, that's strictly your concern. I think I may check it out again myself.

caligulamprey posted:

Ebert's review of Rapa Nui is peak titty:

caligulamprey posted:

Ebert's review of Rapa Nui is peak titty:

caligulamprey posted:

Ebert's review of Rapa Nui is peak titty:

caligulamprey posted:

Ebert's review of Rapa Nui is peak titty:

caligulamprey posted:

Ebert's review of Rapa Nui is peak titty:

Low Desert Punk posted:

The use of the term "film theory" with youtube idiots that just point out plot holes and make the most surface-level narrative analysis makes me mad

Those nerds would have a loving heart attack if they ever read any Bazin or Sobchack, or some of Eisenstein's early writings

General Dog posted:

The most erotic part of a woman is the boobies

General Dog posted:

The most erotic part of a woman is the boobies