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Id be alfred the great because i get terrible shits
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Feb 23, 2019 21:41
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HEY GUNS posted:figure i'd probably be louis xiii--good at war but otherwise just a sad gay goon I'd just be the Taisho emperor, extremely eccentric, lack dexterity and lack charisma. I'm not suffering from extreme lead poisoning but they still would probably just hide me from the rest of the world.
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Feb 23, 2019 21:43
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E: oops
ContinuityNewTimes fucked around with this message at 21:56 on Feb 23, 2019 |
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Feb 23, 2019 21:46
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Senor Dog posted:I'd be napoleon but without the administrative and martial genius
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Feb 23, 2019 22:09
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I'd probably go mad with power if I was a king because why shouldn't you just have everyone that opposes you killed? Also eat a lot of oranges.
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Feb 23, 2019 22:13
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Dibs of Maximilian I. Well-intentioned, in a job I (nor pretty much anyone) should be in at all, destined to screw up and get killed by my own subjects.
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Feb 23, 2019 23:21
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I’d be Charles II because I’m sure to leave a gigantic mess behind once I die.
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Feb 23, 2019 23:29
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Augustus The Strong. Not because I'm swole, but because my reign would be known entirely for the wacky poo poo I did, and all my greatest successes would be accidental.
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Feb 23, 2019 23:34
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whatever historical monarch has the optimum mix of "gay as hell" and "didn't commit atrocities against the Jewish people" would be ideal for me. looking at you, Hadrian
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Feb 24, 2019 00:59
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i just wanna be one of the guys in the Byzantine elite who was around when procopius was writing perhaps the greatest expressions of misogyny in literature and actually having fun with the awesome women he described fun in a respectful way of course. there was a super important Whig politician in the late 18th century, I think his name was Fox, who married his mistress and just ignored everybody's poo poo. those are the kind of people I hope I could've been if I was noble and rich and had the opportunity to tell everybody to gently caress themselves oystertoadfish fucked around with this message at 02:09 on Feb 24, 2019 |
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Feb 24, 2019 02:05
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oystertoadfish posted:there was a super important Whig politician in the late 18th century, I think his name was Fox, who married his mistress and just ignored everybody's poo poo. those are the kind of people I hope I could've been if I was noble and rich and had the opportunity to tell everybody to gently caress themselves
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Feb 24, 2019 02:24
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Freudian posted:whatever historical monarch has the optimum mix of "gay as hell" and "didn't commit atrocities against the Jewish people" would be ideal for me. looking at you, Hadrian Wasn’t Henri III the twink king of France
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Feb 24, 2019 02:28
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Realistically I'd probably end up like Honorius or Romulus Augustulus.
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Feb 24, 2019 02:30
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Cnidario posted:Wasn’t Henri III the twink king of France
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Feb 24, 2019 02:31
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If you're king you're basically the law and can just kill all your enemies and/or anyone who mildly annoys you and do whatever you want. Except if you're somewhere lovely like Britain where the king is dependent upon a parliament or some poo poo.
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Feb 24, 2019 02:33
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In the first season of Rome, Caesar is shown packing the Senate with Gauls. Did this actually happen, and if so, what became of them? I don't think they make another appearance in the series after their brief introduction, and it's easy to imagine the Roman senators being like "Thanks for your service but kindly gently caress off" after Caesar gets got.
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Feb 24, 2019 02:52
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FreudianSlippers posted:If you're king you're basically the law and can just kill all your enemies and/or anyone who mildly annoys you and do whatever you want. if you start doing this you're probably not going to remain the king for very long
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Feb 24, 2019 02:52
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Communist Walrus posted:In the first season of Rome, Caesar is shown packing the Senate with Gauls. Did this actually happen, and if so, what became of them? I don't think they make another appearance in the series after their brief introduction, and it's easy to imagine the Roman senators being like "Thanks for your service but kindly gently caress off" after Caesar gets got. Well sorta. He expanded the Senate to include a bunch of “Gauls” from the province of Cisalpine Gaul which is what is now modern day Northern Italy. Unlike their portrayal in the show as long haired Barbarians from the recently conquered territory of “Gaul” that is modern day France these “Gauls” would have been indistinguishable from any Roman as the province had been under Roman control for over 200 years. In fact a few years later Augustus would just outright do away with Cisapline Gaul all together and just make it a part of Italy proper. The Senate did take offense to this because they were stuck up assholes who resented the New Men infringing on their turf. I’m not sure if any of the resentment was because they still considered them Barbarians or not. Anyway the Senate would expand and contract numerous times over the next 30 years as the Trimumverate made a habit of murdering Senators they didn’t like and just packing the body with loyalists.
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Feb 24, 2019 03:03
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Elyv posted:if you start doing this you're probably not going to remain the king for very long Yeah, renowned for their historical accuracy in general of course but Asian historical shows are actually extremely great for showcasing just how toothless rulers can often be if their ministers aren't behind them. Realistically I would definitely either be a puppet or get assassinated within a few weeks once my court figured out how inept I am at court politics.
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Feb 24, 2019 03:07
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Shimrra Jamaane posted:Well sorta. He expanded the Senate to include a bunch of “Gauls” from the province of Cisalpine Gaul which is what is now modern day Northern Italy. Unlike their portrayal in the show as long haired Barbarians from the recently conquered territory of “Gaul” that is modern day France these “Gauls” would have been indistinguishable from any Roman as the province had been under Roman control for over 200 years. In fact a few years later Augustus would just outright do away with Cisapline Gaul all together and just make it a part of Italy proper. How many senators were permitted from just outside of Rome (the city) period? This isn't so long after the civil war where Rome was putting down the Italians for making demands to be treated equally. I thought a lot of the power of the Republic's government was focused in the power being from Rome specifically, and that was why the outlying territories wound up being so okay with the establishment of the Empire. And of course, this is part of Caesar's victory lap after winning the civil war over the legality of the campaign he made through Gaul gaul as governor of Cisalpine gaul. So he's backing up his powergrab by packing the senate with a bunch of hicks from ancient Missouri, obviously because they're his buddies.
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Feb 24, 2019 04:01
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oystertoadfish posted:i just wanna be one of the guys in the Byzantine elite who was around when procopius was writing perhaps the greatest expressions of misogyny in literature and actually having fun with the awesome women he described Constantine VIII got to be a nominal emperor for 60 years, only actually ruling for less than 3. What was he doing for the other 60?? Being rich and having an excellent time and not loving worrying about anything. And even though his actual reign sucked for the state and the future, he died from natural causes. It was a good life.
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Feb 24, 2019 04:02
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SlothfulCobra posted:How many senators were permitted from just outside of Rome (the city) period? This isn't so long after the civil war where Rome was putting down the Italians for making demands to be treated equally. I thought a lot of the power of the Republic's government was focused in the power being from Rome specifically, and that was why the outlying territories wound up being so okay with the establishment of the Empire. There were plenty of senators from Roman territory scattered across Italy. Prior to the Social War like a third of the peninsular was under direct Roman control and everyone living there were full citizens.
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Feb 24, 2019 04:16
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Republican Senators you may have heard of who came from outside of Rome: Cato the Elder Gaius Marius Cicero Pompey
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Feb 24, 2019 04:45
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Not being born within the walls of Rome itself must have bugged Cato so loving bad.
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Feb 24, 2019 04:55
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Koramei posted:Yeah, renowned for their historical accuracy in general of course but Asian historical shows are actually extremely great for showcasing just how toothless rulers can often be if their ministers aren't behind them. Realistically I would definitely either be a puppet or get assassinated within a few weeks once my court figured out how inept I am at court politics. Even if the court is on your side, if you start pissing off other semi-independent power holders it can lead to ugly results.
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Feb 24, 2019 04:57
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Epicurius posted:Republican Senators you may have heard of who came from outside of Rome: Marius and Pompey (Strabo, not so sure about Magnus) both definitely got sneered at by blue-bloods for being hicks too (despite being born citizens). Citizenship was widely diffused across (then-)Italy by the end of the Republic, but political power was still highly concentrated among families of Rome proper until big-time turnover of senators occurred under the Caesars. It’s really not until well into the principate that provincial aristocrats start to become more relevant than Roman Romans.
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Feb 24, 2019 05:15
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skasion posted:Marius and Pompey (Strabo, not so sure about Magnus) both definitely got sneered at by blue-bloods for being hicks too (despite being born citizens). Citizenship was widely diffused across (then-)Italy by the end of the Republic, but political power was still highly concentrated among families of Rome proper until big-time turnover of senators occurred under the Caesars. It’s really not until well into the principate that provincial aristocrats start to become more relevant than Roman Romans. So did Cicero and Cato.
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Feb 24, 2019 05:23
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Wanna go back in time and tell Cato (both the elder and junior) that in the future the most powerful and idolized Roman will be some Spaniard.
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Feb 24, 2019 05:24
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Shimrra Jamaane posted:Wanna go back in time and tell Cato (both the elder and junior) that in the future the most powerful and idolized Roman will be some Spaniard. Who? Theodosius?
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Feb 24, 2019 05:26
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Probably Hadrian.
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Feb 24, 2019 05:37
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Not so much a Spaniard, but like 3 times the distance from Spain as Spain is from Rome. But also the son of an Italian immigrant, so it kinda goes full circle there. Or maybe I'm thinking of a different "Roman". Technically sovereign from the rest of Rome I guess.
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Feb 24, 2019 05:39
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Trajan
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Feb 24, 2019 05:44
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both Catos are one blog away from being that guy who thought silent hill was all about the evil of circumcision
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Feb 24, 2019 05:47
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OG Cato was far less crazy than Cato 2: Republic Boogaloo
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Feb 24, 2019 05:54
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skasion posted:OG Cato was far less crazy than Cato 2: Republic Boogaloo Cato the Younger gets a bad rap because everybody loves Julius Caesar in spite of the fact that he was a meglomaniac who waged illegal wars to prevent being prosecuted for bribery after unconstitutionally passing invalid legislation, and then launched a military coup so that he could unconstitutionally seize power.
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Feb 24, 2019 06:10
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Caesar was a megalomaniac no doubt, but Carl’s bizarre moralism and costume are easily as weird as anything Caesar did. Not least because Caesar at least got rich and powerful and unprecedentedly glorious out of it, while Cato gained about gently caress all from his performative twattery, except a decent posthumous reputation among aristo jerks of a latter era.
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Feb 24, 2019 06:17
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Cato was too inflexible. It was like he had metal joints.
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Feb 24, 2019 06:28
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Cato was the fishmech of Rome.
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Feb 24, 2019 06:57
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skasion posted:Caesar was a megalomaniac no doubt, but Carl’s bizarre moralism and costume are easily as weird as anything Caesar did. Not least because Caesar at least got rich and powerful and unprecedentedly glorious out of it, while Cato gained about gently caress all from his performative twattery, except a decent posthumous reputation among aristo jerks of a latter era. Cato was pretty well respected at the time by the population, and loved by the Cypriots when he was governor of Cyprus. Admittedly, he wasn't as rich as Caesar, but he would have been richer if he were less honest, and he lost in the end, but that was pretty much true of all of them. None of the big figures in Roman politics from the late republic had happy ends.
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Feb 24, 2019 07:07
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Epicurius posted:Cato was pretty well respected at the time by the population, and loved by the Cypriots when he was governor of Cyprus. Admittedly, he wasn't as rich as Caesar, but he would have been richer if he were less honest, and he lost in the end, but that was pretty much true of all of them. None of the big figures in Roman politics from the late republic had happy ends. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. The Republican system was obviously braking down during this era, and all of them, all of them, contributed to the acceleration of its collapse. I'm not sure to what extent this was the result of personal failings on their parts, ignorance, or the inexorable grind of historical circumstance. I am sure however that they knew they were playing a dangerous game, and were perfectly aware of what would come of losing. They sealed their fates with open eyes i for men like Cato I have little sympathy.
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Feb 24, 2019 07:29
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