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When people get their ideas about sex from porn produced by and for people who have never had anything resembling sex
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Feb 24, 2019 07:31
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| # ? Jun 1, 2024 02:21 |
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Ghost Leviathan posted:When people get their ideas about sex from porn produced by and for people who have never had anything resembling sex It's beautiful, and you know it.
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Feb 24, 2019 07:38
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What would they have done, if the dude had a fight response and beat the poo poo out of her.
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Feb 24, 2019 07:39
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i don't want to know, and i get a little spooked when guys want to think about women getting beaten
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Feb 24, 2019 07:48
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I hit my ex with a kebab. Title explains it basically. He was obnoxiously drunk and kept running (well stumbling) away wanting to go drink more. Mind you I was 20 and he was 28. It got to the point that I must have got so frustrated at him that I hit him over the head with my kebab that I had just bought. His loving face was priceless and he proceeded to slap me back with his and then the cops saw it and tried to pull him away and I was like nah man its totally my bad and they tried to pull the whole 'but hes a grown man and youre a tiny lady' thing and it was just a poo poo show but I got them to let him go and he was so angry. I have never ever hit anyone in my life and I am not violent in any way shape or form and I would never ever ever do this again but gently caress it makes me laugh every day. The best part is that we went home together and he woke me up in the morning poking me being like, 'why is there lettuce in my hair' and being the anxious hungover pos I am I said 'I dont know'. To this day he still doesnt know that I hit him with a kebab.
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Feb 24, 2019 07:48
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nvm
ChickenOfTomorrow fucked around with this message at 08:05 on Feb 24, 2019 |
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Feb 24, 2019 07:50
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You sound really unwell.
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Feb 24, 2019 07:52
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But yea, play stupid games, win stupid prizes. You don't do poo poo like that to a person. Bad things can happen. Like that other funny guy who threatened his friends with a gun and almost got axed.
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Feb 24, 2019 07:54
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nah you just hit one of my "this person is scary" triggers. don't mind me. i'm a whitenoise poster.
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Feb 24, 2019 07:55
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I must be the only person who thought the haunted family thing was funny as hell with the exception of the gas rag part.
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Feb 24, 2019 08:05
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A girl liked a pop culture product too much, it would be funny to see her brutally beaten for it
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Feb 24, 2019 08:05
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FAUXTON posted:I must be the only person who thought the haunted family thing was funny as hell with the exception of the gas rag part. The gas rag makes it not funny for me, otherwise yeah it would be an awesome prank.
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Feb 24, 2019 08:10
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The haunted house thing was funny and well played, but that other part was hosed up. There's a long list of loving stupid pranks. Enter this one I (19F) played a cruel prank on my crush (20M) as a drunk dare, he seems to have forgiven me and asked me out but I am afraid he will take revenge on me. What should I do? When I started college, I wanted to fit in, and hung out with what you might call the popular kids. I was never really confident about myself in high school and beyond, and really only bloomed after, so I would have done anything to join their clique. Unfortunately, one of their initiations was for me to trick a guy into thinking he would have sex with me, but kick him in the nuts instead, as a "prank". Now I know that it sounded like a horrible thing to do, but I was a little drunk, and they promised they would watch out for me in case anything went wrong, so I did it. We were at a party at one of our friend's houses, and I picked this guy who looked like your typical pop punk guy. I had seen him around before, and I thought he was kinda of cute. At least I'd get to make out with him. So I fell into his arms, acting drunk and flirty and everything and led him to the back of the house where we started making out. I have to admit, I had a good feel around (that was not part of the plan), before I stopped acting that drunk to look him in the eye and tell him that it was all just a prank. He was confused at first, and then I kneed him in the nuts to complete my end of the deal. I was planning to just fake it, or just give him a light tap, but I drank too much and put too much strength into it. He was super, super, sensitive ( got red faced and threw up several times ) . While he was lying there, I apologised to him profusely before my friends came over and dragged me away laughing, while some other guests helped him up. He wound up spending the rest of the night lying down on the sofa, and even chatted up a girl who traded numbers with him. I did not know that my friend had taken a video of me and him, and she circulated it within our circle. I did not get into any trouble because he did not make a fuss out of it. I still saw him from time to time, in classes we took together, and he would awkwardly make conversation with me, and I would brush him off because I felt guilty. I think he had a crush on me. He found my social media last week and DMed me, telling me he somehow got his hands on the video, and told me not to worry about it. He also told me that he had to see a doctor, but he's okay now and won't need me to foot his bill on one condition : I would go out on a date with him. He also said that he did not hold it against me, because he understood that I was drunk and it was a prank, and that I probably did not intend to cause him that much pain, and would like to go on a date with me on the condition I would never do that again. I'm unsure if he is threatening / blackmailing me, or if he is just joking, but he seemed like such a nice and understanding guy, so I am not sure. And if I did agree to go out on a date with him, I am afraid that he would pull a cruel prank on me, like standing me up, or running and making me pay for dinner to look bad in public. I have a crush on him as well, but feel awful for what I did to him, and am afraid he is doing it to take revenge on me. What should I do? quote:That isn't a prank, that is felony assault.
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Feb 24, 2019 08:25
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Now he has a nut crushing fetish. Do it again. Nothing will go wrong.
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Feb 24, 2019 08:31
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Power Khan posted:I (19F) played a cruel prank on my crush (20M) as a drunk dare, he seems to have forgiven me and asked me out but I am afraid he will take revenge on me. What should I do? quote:[–]suitupyo 3 points 7 months ago
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Feb 24, 2019 08:32
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There is an entire genre of comedy of "man hit in balls and writhes in agony"
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Feb 24, 2019 08:42
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She's only 19, she's too young to remember the golden age of America's Funniest Home Videos.
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Feb 24, 2019 08:44
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Cat Army
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/r/relationships: That isn't a prank, that is felony assault.
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Feb 24, 2019 08:49
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"That sensitive ? Really ?" is a legitimate response from someone who's never been hit in the nuts. "Yes, amazingly so" is a reality that surprises many people.
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Feb 24, 2019 08:54
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mllaneza posted:"That sensitive ? Really ?" is a legitimate response from someone who's never been hit in the nuts. I think this goes double for people who don't HAVE nuts; we ladies really don't have anything comparable in terms of vulnerability, ovaries are like any other internal organ and there is no specific sensation to being hit in them versus a general punch in the lower abdeomon, and by all accounts tits just aren't that sensitive, I've been hit in the tits plenty of times playing contact sport and it can smart but not "doubled over and vomiting" level. Keeping your gonads on the outside was always a risky gambit; there's a strong argument that one of the reasons evolution put them there and made them so vulnerable in many mammals relates to showing how good a male is at NOT being hit in them and thus will also be good at protecting you and your many vulnerable babies (the sperm temperature thing is likely secondary; birds have internal testes and a higher body temp than mammals and their sperm develops just fine)
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Feb 24, 2019 09:01
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I still say that groinkicker and fireprank lady are super lucky the man didn't flip his poo poo and fight back out of instinct. I know a few dudes who see red if they get hit in the groin. And, if I woke up to being doused in "gasoline", I'd be throwing things out of my way to get the hell out of dodge. On top of it all, the people doing the jokes are all surprised and baffled at the repercussions of their terrible humor.
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Feb 24, 2019 09:04
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Fatkraken posted:/r/relationships: That isn't a prank, that is felony assault.
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Feb 24, 2019 09:05
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Kicking each other in the nuts was practically the national sport back in primary school and I never saw any reactions that severe, but then again grown adults are probably a lot stronger.
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Feb 24, 2019 09:40
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I [28F] want a man [60sM] who is not my father to walk me down the aisle. My mom [52F] basically had a breakdown. So my fiance and I moved to a small town on the east coast about 3 years ago. We didn't know anyone, and it was quite far away from our family back west. We have two children, a girl who is 5, and a boy who is 7. Our closest neighbor was an older man, who I will call Tom. I found out from someone else that Tom's wife and daughter died in a car crash some years ago. We felt bad for him, so we invited him to a barbeque. And he's been a staple in our lives ever since. He is basically the sweetest man ever. My kids adore him. My father's parents are dead, and my mom's are the most unloving people you could meet, so Tom has become a replacement grandpa. He has a huge backyard, and he and my fiance built the kids a treehouse in it. They often go there after school. He cooks for them, he took our son fishing, he made our daughter a little dollhouse...he's just great, he clearly has so much love to give. And my fiance gets on great with him too, they often have a beer on the porch and chat about life. We have dinner together all the time. He feels like the father I never had. It almost feels like fate that we became neighbors. I got the idea of asking Tom to walk me down the aisle at my wedding in July. My real father and I have a friendly relationship, but he's kind of a...drifter? Him and my mom split when I was small, and I barely saw him, he likes to travel the world. He sent some money, and called and sent gifts and cards and stuff, but he didn't fulfil the role of a dad. He's currently living in Thailand; he's not 100% sure if he'll make it the wedding. When I told him my idea of asking Tom to walk me down the aisle, he gave me the okay. So I asked Tom if he would like to. He accepted, and said that these past couple of years have been his happiest in a long time. He cried. I cried. Then my mother cried when I called to tell her. But not in the good way. My mom was raised super traditional. She was a good, loving mother, but she struggled with her family and acquaintances who criticized her for having a child with someone undependable like my father. She tries to hide it, but I know fine well this has been a sore spot for her. I've told her to ignore catty relatives etc, but she doesn't listen. And when I told her about Tom walking me down the aisle, she broke down. "You can't let a strange man that isn't your father walk you down the aisle, what will [various relatives] think??" (Note: for the past 2 years Tom has sent her christmas cards and cookies, and she has sent him cards and gifts too; they haven't met yet, but spoke on the phone and got along very well) She was borderline hysterical. I get that it's her old issues with being judged coming back to haunt her, but I don't know how to talk to her. She even said she didn't want to come to the wedding - also note that all these judgy relatives that I've invited, I invited for her, because she wanted them there. I know how it sounds, crazy mom getting controlling about her daughter's wedding. But I have to stress that this is SO out of character for her. This is a woman who despises tattoos, but forced a smile and said "lovely colors" when I showed her mine! She tries her drat hardest to be loving, she's done a lot for me, and I'm at a loss now because it's been two weeks and she's barely talking to me - over what is, to me, a really lovely and positive thing. I also can't imagine not having her at my wedding. How do I talk to her? TL;DR: asked a lovely family friend to walk me down the aisle, mom having a breakdown over it, have no idea how to get over it
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Feb 24, 2019 10:45
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Power Khan posted:But yea, play stupid games, win stupid prizes. You don't do poo poo like that to a person. Bad things can happen. Like that other funny guy who threatened his friends with a gun and almost got axed. And his friends had to go the internet to ask if the guy who pointed a gun at them should still be their friend 
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Feb 24, 2019 12:39
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Smirking_Serpent posted:I [28F] want a man [60sM] who is not my father to walk me down the aisle. My mom [52F] basically had a breakdown. I think your judgy relatives will gossip way more about your mom not being there than about a man who has been more like a father to you than your real father walking you down the aisle.
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Feb 24, 2019 12:51
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I (24M) love my girlfriend (24F) but her poor hygiene is really bothering me. I've been dating my girlfriend for almost a year now and everything has been great. We get along really well, have the same interests, and genuinely enjoy spending time together. However, lately there has been something really bothering me related to her poor hygiene. Her vagina smells almost like fish (don't know how else to describe it) and during oral sex the odor makes me gag. I've honestly never smelled anything that bad in my entire life. In addition to this I don't think she cleans herself after defecating. There have been a few times where I can smell feces while going down on her but haven't actually visibly seen it. I don't even know how to broach the topic. This wasn't a problem when we first started dating but has been an issue for the last few months. What should I do? TLDR: Girlfriend has poor hygiene and I don't know how to broach the topic to address the issue Update: So I brought it up with my girlfriend, we got in a big fight, and then broke up. Thanks for the input though guys.
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Feb 24, 2019 13:00
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Cleaning your arsehole and twat makes you a dyke, you see
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Feb 24, 2019 13:19
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Whorelord posted:Cleaning your arsehole and twat makes you a dyke, you see Imagine a no wipe man and a no wipe woman making love in the back of a volkswagen type 2 van in the heat of the summer and you will understand why we had to send them to Vietnam.
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Feb 24, 2019 13:22
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Showing and toilet paper are two of my favorite things about modern civilization. I do not understand why anyone would want to abstain from such utopian comforts.
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Feb 24, 2019 14:02
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On the phone, but check out this https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/au7bnj/aita_for_giving_my_girlfriend_an_atomic_wedgie_in/?utm_source=reddit-android
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Feb 24, 2019 14:10
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Barudak posted:Imagine a no wipe man and a no wipe woman making love in the back of a volkswagen type 2 van in the heat of the summer and you will understand why we had to send them to Vietnam. Lmao Vinny Possum posted:/r/relationships: That isn't a prank, that is felony assault.
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Feb 24, 2019 14:25
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She's perfect except for when I'm almost throwing up into her vag I smell poo poo. I think there is poo poo but I can't see it and I don't have object permanence so who knows. Should I talk to her about it or should I report a fake fire and hope the local fire department accidentally sprays her down with a high powered hose?
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Feb 24, 2019 14:27
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Power Khan posted:On the phone, but check out this I thought wanting to administrate wedgies and having a girlfriend were two entirely separate phases in the life of a jackass.
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Feb 24, 2019 14:28
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Smirking_Serpent posted:I (24M) love my girlfriend (24F) but her poor hygiene is really bothering me. The rare gender swap of ~no wipe~. The op of this one posted a thread in /r/confessions, "I had sex with multiple prostitutes between 2014-2015" and posts in /r/The_Donald/, so uh, don't shed any tears that he had to eat poo poo. Barudak posted:Imagine a no wipe man and a no wipe woman making love in the back of a volkswagen type 2 van in the heat of the summer and you will understand why we had to send them to Vietnam. Also this is disgusting please stop. don't stop
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Feb 24, 2019 14:32
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Barudak posted:Imagine a no wipe man and a no wipe woman making love in the back of a volkswagen type 2 van in the heat of the summer and you will understand why we had to send them to Vietnam.
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Feb 24, 2019 15:43
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA For Faking An Australian Accent With My Good Friend For 2 Years? I know this is from ages ago but as an Australian who has heard American attempts at my accent I can 1000% guarantee that he does not have a "good accent".
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Feb 24, 2019 16:38
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Rats Tossbag posted:I know this is from ages ago but as an Australian who has heard American attempts at my accent I can 1000% guarantee that he does not have a "good accent". What if he sounds like the dude from the Friendly Jordies youtube channel?
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Feb 24, 2019 17:28
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The Snoo posted:WHO DOES THIS i'm the dad coming in to make sure my daughter is respected after she tried to prank murder someone
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Feb 24, 2019 17:36
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| # ? Jun 1, 2024 02:21 |
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Were there even cliques/popular kids in anyone else’s college experience? People divided themselves into friend groups sure, but it wasn’t clique-ish the way high school can be. What I’m saying is that girl is an idiot.
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Feb 24, 2019 18:10
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