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GRRM dies of a heart attack and wills ASoIaF to Brandon Sanderson, who becomes the first literary multi-billionaire by writing three alternative storylines in a mere half-decade. Rothfuss writes one more unpopular novel(la) about some lovely side character before taking over GRRM's football blog.
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Feb 24, 2019 00:21
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Benson Cunningham posted:Have you ever done that thing where you put your hands together and make fart noises? are you just pretending to be stupid or what
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Feb 24, 2019 01:30
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sanderson's sheer work ethic frightens me and i have nothing but respect for it, in the same way i respect international hotdog-eating competition winners
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Feb 24, 2019 01:41
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pikachode posted:sanderson's sheer work ethic frightens me and i have nothing but respect for it, in the same way i respect international hotdog-eating competition winners Is it really ethical to turn out garbage that pollutes the mind?
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Feb 24, 2019 01:48
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pseudanonymous posted:Is it really ethical to turn out garbage that pollutes the mind?
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Feb 24, 2019 02:04
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it may be a loathsome feat but it's a feat
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Feb 24, 2019 02:05
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Poster: "It's time to eviscerate Bravest using facts and logic" Me: " Hell yes finally, take him down a peg" Poster: "Consider Brandon Sandersons novella 'Shadows for Silence in the Forests of Hell'- " Me: *coughing up blood*
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Feb 24, 2019 02:25
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A human heart posted:are you just pretending to be stupid or what I was trying to match the tone of your question.
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Feb 24, 2019 03:15
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pseudanonymous posted:Is it really ethical to turn out garbage that pollutes the mind? Could we please stop talking about BotL?
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Feb 24, 2019 04:43
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Ha! What else do we talk about in the Book Barn?! Books?!
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Feb 24, 2019 06:09
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Let's keep this thread focused on Patrick Rothfuss, whose sheer volume of work gives us no excuse for not staying on topic. How about The Doors of Stone, huh?
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Feb 24, 2019 10:23
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pikachode posted:sanderson's sheer work ethic frightens me and i have nothing but respect for it, in the same way i respect international hotdog-eating competition winners lmao He writes like a machine, a machine that produces wonder bread.
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Feb 24, 2019 15:10
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Sham bam bamina! posted:Let's keep this thread focused on Patrick Rothfuss, whose sheer volume of work gives us no excuse for not staying on topic. I really have no idea what's going to happen in The Doors of Stone. Not a bit. And that's not like, because Rothfuss has crafted a good mystery or anything. It's because the previous two books were so disjointed that I can't really figure out what might happen beyond the obvious stuff. Like, a king's gonna die. Who is the king? We have no clue. We don't even know what country the king will be from. We can guess 'Vintas', as it's the only country in the setting that we know anything about, and we know that it has a king. We can suppose that it's either Ambrose or Simms, likely Ambrose judging by all of the stories of him murdering the people ahead of him in line for the throne. Wait, are Ambrose and Simms in line for the same throne? Also both Ambrose and Simms are poets and yadda yadda he has a sword whose name means 'line break in poem' or something. Oh yeah he'll probably kill some real Amyr, because of Chronicler's dumb line about THIS IS A MAN WHO HAS KILLED AN ANGEL! and the Chandrians. Maybe. Unless they just don't appear 'cuz OOPS the plot is in another book of this tri... QUADRILOGY! I still don't really get how through all of this Kvothe is treated like a celebrity. KILLED THE KING AND AN ANGEL is generally like, stuff that gets someone conflated with being Literally Not-Satan, but people tell all these tales about how BADASS and COOL he is.
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Feb 25, 2019 02:51
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My new theory is that the reason why he bangs all of those random sex ninjas and sex fairies is because Rothfuss wanted to prove that Kvothe didn't just "need to get laid" but was really in love with Denna the whole time.
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Feb 25, 2019 02:55
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Actually it's because Rothfuss is a huge loser neckbeard and he was too embarrassed to write all of that pathetic wish fulfiment into his first book, because really his own undergrad experience was a tale of unrequited love. Speaking of the Chandrian, remember that time at the end of the first book where he went to investigate blue fire, and it turned out to be a completely unrelated dragon, and he slept with Denna but didn't, and actually there was something related to the Chandrian in a house in that village but he didn't notice because the entire first book is like a dystopian RPG where your character is too hungry to be able to pursue the main questline and has to complete godawful side quests just to survive. e: oh I see now, the Kingkiller Chronicles is basically an early access trilogy.
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Feb 25, 2019 03:05
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My impression is that every episode is just a second draft (or more likely first) of every assignment he had to do as an undergrad with a few additional segments stitching it all together. It's why it's so disjointed and nonsensical.
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Feb 25, 2019 03:38
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Atlas Hugged posted:My impression is that every episode is just a second draft (or more likely first) of every assignment he had to do as an undergrad with a few additional segments stitching it all together. It's why it's so disjointed and nonsensical.  Some of them are actually transcriptions of his D&D character's adventures
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Feb 25, 2019 03:49
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Kchama posted:QUADRILOGY! 
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Feb 25, 2019 03:52
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Kchama posted:I really have no idea what's going to happen in The Doors of Stone. Nothing's going to happen because he's never going to finish it. Right now there's this constant buzz about how great a writer he is people worshipping the books etc.. If he finishes it'll be like that last season of Lost, and everyone realizing that Lindelhof is great at beginnings and asking questions but doesn't know how to write a payoff.
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Feb 25, 2019 04:18
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eXXon posted:Actually it's because Rothfuss is a huge loser neckbeard and he was too embarrassed to write all of that pathetic wish fulfiment into his first book, because really his own undergrad experience was a tale of unrequited love.
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Feb 25, 2019 04:58
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Kchama posted:I really have no idea what's going to happen in The Doors of Stone. Not a bit. And that's not like, because Rothfuss has crafted a good mystery or anything. It's because the previous two books were so disjointed that I can't really figure out what might happen beyond the obvious stuff. Like, a king's gonna die. Who is the king? We have no clue. We don't even know what country the king will be from. We can guess 'Vintas', as it's the only country in the setting that we know anything about, and we know that it has a king. We can suppose that it's either Ambrose or Simms, likely Ambrose judging by all of the stories of him murdering the people ahead of him in line for the throne. Wait, are Ambrose and Simms in line for the same throne? Also both Ambrose and Simms are poets and yadda yadda he has a sword whose name means 'line break in poem' or something. There's probably also something with the Lackless door of stone.
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Feb 25, 2019 06:35
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I'm really perplexed that people who just savage Rothfuss are in here boosting Sanderson. He's not a good author. He's prolific for sure, and that is in some ways notable, but he seriously writes the exact same story in 90% of his books. He also writes massively long books that could be half as long with no real loss. His only really distinct features are A.) every new book series has a new D&D manual built in outlining a new roleplaying setting that he dreamed up, and B.) he somehow convinced his publisher it would be cool if he took all of his books are made them part of the same ur-story, which is kind of an audacious move, but it's also largely squandered on perfectly serviceable but unremarkable stories.
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Feb 25, 2019 08:46
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Sanderson is serviceable, but not good
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Feb 25, 2019 12:12
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Karnegal posted:I'm really perplexed that people who just savage Rothfuss are in here boosting Sanderson. They mock Rothfuss to distract from how bad the stuff they like is
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Feb 25, 2019 12:18
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Karnegal posted:I'm really perplexed that people who just savage Rothfuss are in here boosting Sanderson. He's not a good author. He's prolific for sure, and that is in some ways notable, but he seriously writes the exact same story in 90% of his books. He also writes massively long books that could be half as long with no real loss. His only really distinct features are A.) every new book series has a new D&D manual built in outlining a new roleplaying setting that he dreamed up, and B.) he somehow convinced his publisher it would be cool if he took all of his books are made them part of the same ur-story, which is kind of an audacious move, but it's also largely squandered on perfectly serviceable but unremarkable stories. I'm just in here to savage Rothfuss. Never have bothered to read Sanderson. Though 'servicable but unremarkable' at least is better than 'a dozen bad stories stitched into one'. Torrannor posted:There's probably also something with the Lackless door of stone. I mean, sure, since that's literally the title. But there's gotta be more to it than that. Also, unrelated, but it struck me recently that nobody actually talks about his titular deed. The king-killing. It's not even in Kvothe's bragging prelude even though that SHOULD be the thing that should get people's attention and nod when he says "You may have heard of me." Also probably then descend on him in a pitchfork and torch mob because the country is falling apart in civil war 'cuz he killed the king. Nobody's directly referenced him killing the king either. The closest I can think of is that line about "I was there when you killed him. The cobblestones were eternally damaged. Nobody could mend them" even though I'm pretty sure you just replace cobblestone rather than just go "oh it's damaged better get someone to fix it. Hey, pal, get me a cobbler!" I couldn't think of a better joke for 'cobblestone fixer'. And that might not even be about the king.
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Feb 25, 2019 13:16
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Karnegal posted:I'm really perplexed that people who just savage Rothfuss are in here boosting Sanderson. You're surprised people who are savaging one of the beardo fantasy dorks who can't loving finish a book are bringing up the arch fantasy book writing machine dork? If you like trash its better to get a constant stream of it then to look at an incomplete pile of it and know that it will never be finished. BravestOfTheLamps posted:They mock Rothfuss to distract from how bad the stuff they like is You like trash as well, trashman.
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Feb 25, 2019 13:37
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"The cobblestones were eternally damaged" as a symbol of badassery just makes me think of the TVTropes "broke 33 pencils" kid
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Feb 25, 2019 14:15
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I looked it up in the book, and the actual lines are so Rothfuss that I have to post them verbatim:quote:"I saw the place in Imre where you killed him. By the fountain. The cobblestones are all shattered." He frowned and concentrated on the word. "Shattered. They say no one can mend them."
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Feb 25, 2019 14:24
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Little known fact, cobblestones are irreplaceable.
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Feb 25, 2019 14:30
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Sham bam bamina! posted:I looked it up in the book, and the actual lines are so Rothfuss that I have to post them verbatim: That's what we do to cobblestones, we mend them, we don't just dig them up and replace them, because that wouldn't be poetic
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Feb 25, 2019 15:08
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(frowning, brow furrowed, thinking really hard) Shattered.
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Feb 25, 2019 15:35
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I'm the dude who's reaction to terrifying displays of power is to concentrate very hard on his word choice
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Feb 25, 2019 16:06
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Kvothe, you make me so horny with your red hair and sensitive hands from, uh, being a musician?
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Feb 25, 2019 16:07
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Atlas Hugged posted:My new theory is that the reason why he bangs all of those random sex ninjas and sex fairies is because Rothfuss wanted to prove that Kvothe didn't just "need to get laid" but was really in love with Denna the whole time. My guess is that it's like that episode of Firefly about how you don't need sex to feel validated as an adult but also you totally do
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Feb 25, 2019 18:48
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MrFlibble posted:You're surprised people who are savaging one of the beardo fantasy dorks who can't loving finish a book are bringing up the arch fantasy book writing machine dork? I mean, from a certain point of view, Rothfuss is actually doing us all a favor by not writing anything but masturbatory blog posts.
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Feb 25, 2019 19:21
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Karnegal posted:I mean, from a certain point of view, Rothfuss is actually doing us all a favor by not writing anything but masturbatory blog posts. Wrong, friend. By not finishing his trilogy he poisons the minds of the unenlightened with the notions of a potential 'good' third book. If he were a decent human he would release that turd upon us and dispel all doubt as to the quality of his story.
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Feb 25, 2019 19:34
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MrFlibble posted:Wrong, friend. By not finishing his trilogy he poisons the minds of the unenlightened with the notions of a potential 'good' third book. If he were a decent human he would release that turd upon us and dispel all doubt as to the quality of his story. Do you honestly think the people who read the first two books and found something to enjoy are going to have the illusion shattered on the third?
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Feb 26, 2019 00:11
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Atlas Hugged posted:Do you honestly think the people who read the first two books and found something to enjoy are going to have the illusion shattered on the third?
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Feb 26, 2019 00:42
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A series of somewhat related short stories
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Feb 26, 2019 00:46
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ElGroucho posted:Sanderson is serviceable, but not good People think Erikson is good even though Malazan is like someone managed to vomit word salad in 4D. Sham bam bamina! posted:A fair few people exist who loved The Name of the Wind, hated The Wise Man's Fear, and have their fingers crossed for Rothfuss to get his groove back for The Doors of Stone. Introduce those people to Slow Regard for Silent Things so that they are aware Wise Man's Fear isn't the bottom of the barrel of Rothfuss's writing.
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Feb 26, 2019 01:05
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