- vanisher
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Look, the zoo just isn't getting the foot traffic it used to. We need ideas people.
We can maybe train the Koalas to hand out zoo maps or something
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Mar 1, 2019 06:38
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 21, 2024 17:17
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- FutonForensic
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you can't advertise smoking to children. you can't. but these animals. we'll teach them to smoke. we'll teach them to hold up the cartons of our fine tobacco-based sponsors' products, so the kids know what to buy. we're the stewards of the animal kingdom here, people. as in, we're going to turn the lungs of our animals into stew
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Mar 1, 2019 06:51
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- vanisher
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you can't advertise smoking to children. you can't. but these animals. we'll teach them to smoke. we'll teach them to hold up the cartons of our fine tobacco-based sponsors' products, so the kids know what to buy. we're the stewards of the animal kingdom here, people. as in, we're going to turn the lungs of our animals into stew
lol
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Mar 1, 2019 06:58
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- vanisher
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maybe get some actual cool animals for the petting zoo like kittens or something
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Mar 1, 2019 07:03
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- TOOT BOOT
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feed ex-lax to all the animals and the zoo is now a comedy club for small children
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Mar 1, 2019 08:18
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- FutonForensic
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"did you install that glory hole at the Three-Toed Sloth enclosure? our core audience is hurting to get their ding-dongs and doorbells slathered with sloth slobber"
"Sure did! Was a hell of a time trying to drill a hole through that concrete, though"
"Concrete? The Three-Toed Sloths are enclosed with a wooden fence. The only pen with concrete is--" *interrupted by a blood curdling scream*
*shouting in unison* "the Dick-Stabbing Sloth enclosure!"
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Mar 1, 2019 14:09
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- google THIS
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"did you install that glory hole at the Three-Toed Sloth enclosure? our core audience is hurting to get their ding-dongs and doorbells slathered with sloth slobber"
"Sure did! Was a hell of a time trying to drill a hole through that concrete, though"
"Concrete? The Three-Toed Sloths are enclosed with a wooden fence. The only pen with concrete is--" *interrupted by a blood curdling scream*
*shouting in unison* "the Dick-Stabbing Sloth enclosure!"
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Mar 1, 2019 14:12
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- google THIS
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We have a "deluxe" petting zoo. Less than 50% goats.
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Mar 1, 2019 14:13
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- Areola Grande
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it's a free country u pervs
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spring sigs by nesamdoom and Ravenous Scoot
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Mar 1, 2019 16:34
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- google THIS
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At first we thought having an Arby's on property would attract customers, but we later realized that the giant sign by the zoo entrance that says "WE GOT THE MEATS" was sending the wrong message.
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Mar 1, 2019 17:15
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- alnilam
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Staff zooölogist: here, take this Zooödex, it contains information on all of the animals. Some parts of it are missing, perhaps you can fill them in and get it back to me?
Kid: hey there's only two entries in here, and they're on cats and dogs... oh i get it, is this like a Pokemon reference, like i get to go on a journey and fill it out?
Z: uh sure yeah
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Mar 1, 2019 17:17
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- vanisher
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We have a "deluxe" petting zoo. Less than 50% goats.
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Mar 1, 2019 18:00
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- Barking Gecko
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Mahoro says, "Naughty things are bad."
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. . . and over here is our popular new interactive exhibit, where you can watch our black mamba interact with what's left of our marketing team, in an office-like setting.
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Mar 1, 2019 20:32
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- Mummy Napkin
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picture this: real life whack-a-mole. we can make a killing on the ponchos alone.
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Mar 1, 2019 20:59
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- vanisher
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Lets rename it "the office" so husbands have a great excuse to come
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Mar 2, 2019 17:50
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- vanisher
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Also maybe we can hire steve carell for promo stuff
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Mar 2, 2019 17:51
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- google THIS
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Also maybe we can hire steve carell for promo stuff
Excuse me, we found the bear enclosure, but where is the beet enclosure?
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Mar 2, 2019 19:33
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 21, 2024 17:17
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