Power Khan posted:

So my (41M) wife (40F) is a 'Karen'...
[new]
For those not aware - 'Karen' is a stereotype of a middle aged, or approaching middle age, woman who acts as if service industry personnel are subservient to her. She treats sales associates, waiters, and grocery clerks as if they are her personal servants, and her favorite phrase is, "Let me talk to your manager." Physically, she is often described as having short hair like that lady from the reality show with 8 kids, and often dressing somewhat frumpy.



On to my wife. While not adhering the physical description of a Karen, she has the behavior down pat. It just seems over the last 2 or 3 years, every single interaction with service personnel has to escalated to showdown involving a manager and my wife demanding free stuff and/or somebody's job. Unfortunately she usually wins, which I'm assuming is a large part of her continuing this behavior.



We went out to eat last night. She announced she wanted to go out, and as usual the kids and I did our best to talk her in to eating at home. I offered to grill, my daughter offered to make an Italian dish, I suggested I go out and pick up her favorite Chinese and bring it home - all our usual ploys to keep her from unleashing her wrath on some poor waiter who is just trying to do his or her job. No dice. She wants to go out, and she gets what she wants.



It was trouble right off the bat. She laid into the hostess (who looked to be about 15) because we were told 10-15 minute wait and it took 17 minutes. Then she pitched a fit about the table we were sat at. We've been to this restaurant dozens of times and even sat at the very table a few times. Last night it was too small and too close to the bathroom. As always, the manager was called out and this resulted in a table swap and a free appetizer. Mission accomplished, I guess. Meanwhile my kids and I are trying to crawl under the table. Then we order. My wife has never once ordered a menu item the way it comes. There are always alterations, without something, with something it doesn't come with, sauce on the side, cooked in a manner that's different from what the menu says. All of these changes just increase the chance something is not going to be right. And of course when the food came out, it was wrong. And she went BALLISTIC. First she grabbed a waiter who wasn't even our waiter and proceeded to lay into him. Our waiter then came by and was treated to an even larger outburst of anger and accusations of incompetence. She was making such a scene that this time she didn't even have to ask for the manager- he must have sensed it coming and was there. Granted the guy was good, but he still had to comp our meal to shut her up.



But it made her happy. Once the meal was comped, she gave the manager another berating and sent him on his way. Then she sat down with a very big smile on her face and said, "See kids, that's how you make sure no one screws you over." To which my kids just rolled their eyes. As we finished, like always I sent my wife and kids on to the car while I went to the bathroom - and by go to the bathroom I mean go find our waiter, apologize to him, and slip him a tip roughly the price of the meal.



Point of this extremely long post is this - I'm tired of it and looking for some strategy to solve it. I love my wife and I am not going to end our marriage over this, but something has to give. The kids are tired of it and embarrassed by it. Yes, I've tried to talk to her about it. That only gets met with justifications about how you have to get what you pay for and you can't let people walk all over you or it's their job and if they can't do it right they should find something else. When I tell her there are other ways to get your point across than dressing people down she denies she does it and accuses me of making things up. When I tell her I'm not going out with her because of her treatment of service people, I'm accused of being disrespectful of her and have even been told that I am being emotionally abusive.



TLDR: My wife treats service industry people like crap.

--------------------

I'd suggest rat poison.

Power Khan posted:

So my (41M) wife (40F) is a 'Karen'...
[new]
For those not aware - 'Karen' is a stereotype of a middle aged, or approaching middle age, woman who acts as if service industry personnel are subservient to her. She treats sales associates, waiters, and grocery clerks as if they are her personal servants, and her favorite phrase is, "Let me talk to your manager." Physically, she is often described as having short hair like that lady from the reality show with 8 kids, and often dressing somewhat frumpy.



On to my wife. While not adhering the physical description of a Karen, she has the behavior down pat. It just seems over the last 2 or 3 years, every single interaction with service personnel has to escalated to showdown involving a manager and my wife demanding free stuff and/or somebody's job. Unfortunately she usually wins, which I'm assuming is a large part of her continuing this behavior.



We went out to eat last night. She announced she wanted to go out, and as usual the kids and I did our best to talk her in to eating at home. I offered to grill, my daughter offered to make an Italian dish, I suggested I go out and pick up her favorite Chinese and bring it home - all our usual ploys to keep her from unleashing her wrath on some poor waiter who is just trying to do his or her job. No dice. She wants to go out, and she gets what she wants.



It was trouble right off the bat. She laid into the hostess (who looked to be about 15) because we were told 10-15 minute wait and it took 17 minutes. Then she pitched a fit about the table we were sat at. We've been to this restaurant dozens of times and even sat at the very table a few times. Last night it was too small and too close to the bathroom. As always, the manager was called out and this resulted in a table swap and a free appetizer. Mission accomplished, I guess. Meanwhile my kids and I are trying to crawl under the table. Then we order. My wife has never once ordered a menu item the way it comes. There are always alterations, without something, with something it doesn't come with, sauce on the side, cooked in a manner that's different from what the menu says. All of these changes just increase the chance something is not going to be right. And of course when the food came out, it was wrong. And she went BALLISTIC. First she grabbed a waiter who wasn't even our waiter and proceeded to lay into him. Our waiter then came by and was treated to an even larger outburst of anger and accusations of incompetence. She was making such a scene that this time she didn't even have to ask for the manager- he must have sensed it coming and was there. Granted the guy was good, but he still had to comp our meal to shut her up.



But it made her happy. Once the meal was comped, she gave the manager another berating and sent him on his way. Then she sat down with a very big smile on her face and said, "See kids, that's how you make sure no one screws you over." To which my kids just rolled their eyes. As we finished, like always I sent my wife and kids on to the car while I went to the bathroom - and by go to the bathroom I mean go find our waiter, apologize to him, and slip him a tip roughly the price of the meal.



Point of this extremely long post is this - I'm tired of it and looking for some strategy to solve it. I love my wife and I am not going to end our marriage over this, but something has to give. The kids are tired of it and embarrassed by it. Yes, I've tried to talk to her about it. That only gets met with justifications about how you have to get what you pay for and you can't let people walk all over you or it's their job and if they can't do it right they should find something else. When I tell her there are other ways to get your point across than dressing people down she denies she does it and accuses me of making things up. When I tell her I'm not going out with her because of her treatment of service people, I'm accused of being disrespectful of her and have even been told that I am being emotionally abusive.



TLDR: My wife treats service industry people like crap.

--------------------

I'd suggest rat poison.

Power Khan posted:

So my (41M) wife (40F) is a 'Karen'...
[new]

Power Khan posted:

So my (41M) wife (40F) is a 'Karen'...
[new]
For those not aware - 'Karen' is a stereotype of a middle aged, or approaching middle age, woman who acts as if service industry personnel are subservient to her. She treats sales associates, waiters, and grocery clerks as if they are her personal servants, and her favorite phrase is, "Let me talk to your manager." Physically, she is often described as having short hair like that lady from the reality show with 8 kids, and often dressing somewhat frumpy.



On to my wife. While not adhering the physical description of a Karen, she has the behavior down pat. It just seems over the last 2 or 3 years, every single interaction with service personnel has to escalated to showdown involving a manager and my wife demanding free stuff and/or somebody's job. Unfortunately she usually wins, which I'm assuming is a large part of her continuing this behavior.



We went out to eat last night. She announced she wanted to go out, and as usual the kids and I did our best to talk her in to eating at home. I offered to grill, my daughter offered to make an Italian dish, I suggested I go out and pick up her favorite Chinese and bring it home - all our usual ploys to keep her from unleashing her wrath on some poor waiter who is just trying to do his or her job. No dice. She wants to go out, and she gets what she wants.



It was trouble right off the bat. She laid into the hostess (who looked to be about 15) because we were told 10-15 minute wait and it took 17 minutes. Then she pitched a fit about the table we were sat at. We've been to this restaurant dozens of times and even sat at the very table a few times. Last night it was too small and too close to the bathroom. As always, the manager was called out and this resulted in a table swap and a free appetizer. Mission accomplished, I guess. Meanwhile my kids and I are trying to crawl under the table. Then we order. My wife has never once ordered a menu item the way it comes. There are always alterations, without something, with something it doesn't come with, sauce on the side, cooked in a manner that's different from what the menu says. All of these changes just increase the chance something is not going to be right. And of course when the food came out, it was wrong. And she went BALLISTIC. First she grabbed a waiter who wasn't even our waiter and proceeded to lay into him. Our waiter then came by and was treated to an even larger outburst of anger and accusations of incompetence. She was making such a scene that this time she didn't even have to ask for the manager- he must have sensed it coming and was there. Granted the guy was good, but he still had to comp our meal to shut her up.



But it made her happy. Once the meal was comped, she gave the manager another berating and sent him on his way. Then she sat down with a very big smile on her face and said, "See kids, that's how you make sure no one screws you over." To which my kids just rolled their eyes. As we finished, like always I sent my wife and kids on to the car while I went to the bathroom - and by go to the bathroom I mean go find our waiter, apologize to him, and slip him a tip roughly the price of the meal.



Point of this extremely long post is this - I'm tired of it and looking for some strategy to solve it. I love my wife and I am not going to end our marriage over this, but something has to give. The kids are tired of it and embarrassed by it. Yes, I've tried to talk to her about it. That only gets met with justifications about how you have to get what you pay for and you can't let people walk all over you or it's their job and if they can't do it right they should find something else. When I tell her there are other ways to get your point across than dressing people down she denies she does it and accuses me of making things up. When I tell her I'm not going out with her because of her treatment of service people, I'm accused of being disrespectful of her and have even been told that I am being emotionally abusive.



TLDR: My wife treats service industry people like crap.

--------------------

I'd suggest rat poison.

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

Uh, why isn't he willing to divorce his wife over horribly abusive behavior that he and his kids detest and are embarrassed by whenever they go out???? It's killing their family and he's somehow fine with it. All he has to do is say "Hey honey, you know I love you and care about you deeply, but you really need to stop treating waitresses, managers, cashiers, etc like trash or else I'm going to reconsider this marriage. I'm done." This isn't tough or profound and it's super weird how these people are so reluctant to actually talk to their partners.

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

Uh, why isn't he willing to divorce his wife over horribly abusive behavior that he and his kids detest and are embarrassed by whenever they go out???? It's killing their family and he's somehow fine with it. All he has to do is say "Hey honey, you know I love you and care about you deeply, but you really need to stop treating waitresses, managers, cashiers, etc like trash or else I'm going to reconsider this marriage. I'm done." This isn't tough or profound and it's super weird how these people are so reluctant to actually talk to their partners.

Panfilo posted:

There is no way he didn't know Karen's behavior when he went out on dates with her initially. That's why observing how a date treats service workers is a good indicator of their personality.

Power Khan posted:

He had admitted that his relationship with Betty had started almost a year prior to Betty's mother passing away. So no, he didn't take advantage of a grieving woman.

Power Khan posted:

Also our families had been good friends since Betty and I were in third grade

Power Khan posted:

So my (41M) wife (40F) is a 'Karen'...

Power Khan posted:

AITA for not accepting my father's relationship with my ex-girlfriend?

quote:

I like alpha male nerds (think brogrammers), but they don’t like me. How do I stop having obsessive crushes? Snowflakes inside...

I always crush on guys who are smart (STEM field), ambitious, handsome — but deep down, they are not the nicest. (*The ones that I've met- Not all are like this.*) They usually have a controlling streak that is sneaky and subtle. They make snarky comments aimed to get a reaction and are critical. They’re very manipulative and easily fool people- they can be quite charming, so people like them.

They’re just crushes and luckily I figure it out before anything gets serious, but it scares me that I like guys like this. I know that they’re bad news, so why do I still hope that they’ll change into Mr. Nice?

I also feel insecure- like I’m not good enough for them, but know that they are not the best for me either. I always feel like I have to prove myself, but it gets exhausting. When they go for other women, I think, “Why her and not me?” I wonder if they will treat the other women differently or better than they treat me.

I also think they like to play head games with me because I’m shy and quiet. (I’m loud around my family and friends, but when I feel uncomfortable I clam up.) It seems like these types can smell fear, so they use it to their advantage. I’m pretty introverted and don’t have the best social skills, so I don’t know how to defend myself.

It makes me worried because it seems to be a pattern of liking the same type of guy. I like smart guys, but these guys seem like they would be abusive and very toxic. Again, we don’t go out, but why do I keep obsessing over them? If I know they’re bad, why do I like that?

CheesyDog posted:

How do I stop having crushes on the wrong guys?

Pinecone Sample posted:

why is he damage controlling for his dad loving the girl he knew since she was eight though

bell jar posted:

say what you will but the dog "bit" her in a way that didn't puncture clothes or skin and could only be identified by leftover saliva, and she could have fired the gun into the air to spook the dogs before straight up shooting one

CheesyDog posted:

How do I stop having crushes on the wrong guys?

CheesyDog posted:

How do I stop having crushes on the wrong guys?

MarcusSA posted:

I know I know I know I shouldn’t call fake but holy poo poo that reads like one long troll lol.

It literally hits all the buttons.

Brogamers? Alpha nerds? Man what?

quote:

Throwaway for obvious reasons.

I got married last Saturday. Hooray for me! My sister was my maid of honor. During her speech, she brought up her depression and how my husband supported her through it and how “in that moment, I knew he was the one for throwaway...” (so cliche!). I thought her speech was really selfish. I think it’s super inappropriate to bring up a mental illness during a wedding speech. Not only that, but the entire speech was about her. At MY wedding. 90% of the guests congratulated her afterwards and talked about how “strong” she was. Nobody was paying attention to me, at my own wedding! Sorry if I sound selfish, but IMO there is a time and a place for this sort of thing. So after the guests all greeted her, I asked her to leave and told her she was being disruptive and selfish. She was really upset but just left without arguing. My parents agree with me. but my husband and all of my close friends think I was way too harsh. AITA?

MarcusSA posted:

I know I know I know I shouldn’t call fake but holy poo poo that reads like one long troll lol.

It literally hits all the buttons.

Brogamers? Alpha nerds? Man what?

therobit posted:

You think because someone used common buzzwords the content must be fake? I have known both men and women who are exactly like this person.

LOL @ "A woman was introspective about being attracted to guys that aren't great and wants to change that. Must be fake."

Liquid Communism posted:

This was thirty pages ago, but you are a loving idiot.

Firing a gun at anything you are not actively trying to hit is some of the stupidest poo poo you could possibly do. There are no accidental shootings, just negligent ones, and that kind of poo poo is how random bystanders end up with bullet holes.

MarcusSA posted:

it’s more about how it’s written and also sprinkled with lots of buzzwords.

But ok!

I’m also not the only one who thought the same thing.

Anne Whateley posted:

The writing would have been weird for reddit, but then someone posted it was written for metafilter. , in that case it sounds legit

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for kicking my sister out of my wedding during the reception?

CheesyDog posted:

One of the most attractive, otherwise down-to-earth women I know keeps repeating the exact same relationship with engineers who love Dave Matthews and light beer

Batterypowered7 posted:

Frankly I'm surprised we didn't have a ten page derail about circumcision when we got that story about the uncut dude with smegma not too long ago.

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for kicking my sister out of my wedding during the reception?

SalTheBard posted:

Patrick Spens posted:

He literally said it started 2 or 3 years ago.

tactlessbastard posted:

Man, that cohort is getting close to 40, aren't they

Panfilo posted:

The cynic in me says this behavior doesn't just start out of nowhere. Chances are it was going on for much longer.

LadyPictureShow posted:

AITA if I resent my fuckbuddy because she is stupid?


Tacky as Hell but LOL at the bolded part.

quote:

I'm no model, but I'm 6''3 and lift weights...so having muscles does tend to help me attract girls, even though facially I'm nothing special.

CheesyDog posted:

How do I stop having crushes on the wrong guys?

quote:

I always crush on guys who are smart, ambitious, handsome