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Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003

If my client takes more than 15 minutes to cum, you must drop all the charges!

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Traxis
Jul 2, 2006

He pled not guilty, requested a non-jury trial. The judge will let him off and in a few months Kraft will donate to his reelection campaign.

sweet thursday
Sep 16, 2012

Billionaires can't have a fair jury trial because they have no peers. Truly god among men

waah
Jun 20, 2011

Better stay in line when
You see a Pavel like me shinin

So when do we find out this "bigger" name than Robert Kraft?

Happy Noodle Boy
Jul 3, 2002


sweet thursday posted:

Billionaires can't have a fair jury trial because they have no peers. Truly god among men

Oh he has peers. Makes the owners of the other AFCE teams be the jury :getin:

JIZZ DENOUEMENT
Oct 3, 2012

STRIKE!

Traxis posted:

He pled not guilty, requested a non-jury trial. The judge will let him off and in a few months Kraft will donate to his reelection campaign.

This sucks lemons

Play
Apr 25, 2006

Strong stroll for a mangy stray

waah posted:

So when do we find out this "bigger" name than Robert Kraft?

I thinks someone mentioned maybe a golfer? If that's true I don't see any golfer really being "bigger" than Patriots owner and trafficked-teen-fucker Robert Kraft

Android Apocalypse
Apr 28, 2009

The future is
AUTOMATED
and you are
OBSOLETE

Illegal Hen
I wonder what famous golfer lives in Jupiter, Florida & is known to be a sex freak...

Quiet Feet
Dec 14, 2009

THE HELL IS WITH THIS ASS!?





:hmmyes:"Your honor my client had no choice but to receive that handjob."

:bahgawd:"Explain, counselor."

:imunfunny:"He asked for an appointment and they said they didn't have an opening for him!"

:bahgawd: *banging gavel* "69 years in prison for Mr. Kraft's lawyer."

:krakken: "Nice."

:bahgawd: "Bailiff remove Mr. Gronkowski."

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
loving narcissistic billionaire who can’t take a minor slap on the wrist to save literally everyone associated with him a massive headache. Ugggh

evilweasel
Aug 24, 2002

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

loving narcissistic billionaire who can’t take a minor slap on the wrist to save literally everyone associated with him a massive headache. Ugggh

he can change his plea later

pleading not guilty lets him try to work out a quiet plea deal, it would be super dumb to plead guilty right now

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

bone shaking.
soul baking.

evilweasel posted:

he can change his plea later

pleading not guilty lets him try to work out a quiet plea deal, it would be super dumb to plead guilty right now

This. You always plea not guilty at the beginning. The most he'll ever change his plea to is no contest. People rarely ever plead guilty at arraignment unless it's a minor thing that will be sorted with a fine.

He'll work out a plea deal that consolidates both cases to avoid the felony second charge, have to serve some administrative probation (meaning no reporting), pay the $10,000 in statutory fines, and probably donate $20,000 in lieu of 200 hours of community service to a designated charity. One or both of the charges will be reduced to disorderly conduct. Adjudication will be withheld on both charges. There will be between $500-1000 in court costs and fees.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

evilweasel posted:

he can change his plea later

pleading not guilty lets him try to work out a quiet plea deal, it would be super dumb to plead guilty right now

I really hope your right! If you aren’t then your officially a better lawyer than the team of ones a billionaire just hired.

evilweasel
Aug 24, 2002

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

I really hope your right! If you aren’t then your officially a better lawyer than the team of ones a billionaire just hired.

i'm not saying he won't order his lawyers to spend a million dollars trying to find The Real Fan Of Discount Handjobs out of a futile sense that if he throws enough money at it the shame will go away, i don't wanna go out on that limb

but if his plan is to quietly cop to being the discount handjob lover and take his lumps, pleading not guilty right now is the correct thing to do while he gets down on his knees and pleads with the prosecutor for a plea deal to make his quiet plea even quieter

kiimo
Jul 24, 2003

If he knew how expensive that hand job was going to become he'd never have been able to get off. Yucky!

latinotwink1997
Jan 2, 2008

Taste my Ball of Hope, foul dragon!


He’ll spend a million dollars to find his doppelgänger to take the fall for him.

Party Plane Jones
Jul 1, 2007

by Reene
Fun Shoe
https://twitter.com/nypost/status/1100107839551561728

Amy Pole Her
Jun 17, 2002

Android Apocalypse posted:

I wonder what famous golfer lives in Jupiter, Florida & is known to be a sex freak...



Not him

I sadly can’t divulge much but i promise you it’s REALLY funny.

They thought it was a famous golden bear but it ended up being his cub. It’s since gone away.

FizFashizzle
Mar 30, 2005







Amy Pole Her posted:

Not him

I sadly can’t divulge much but i promise you it’s REALLY funny.

They thought it was a famous golden bear but it ended up being his cub. It’s since gone away.

I mean obviously the funniest thing would be john daly.

DariusLikewise
Oct 4, 2008

You wore that on Halloween?

Amy Pole Her posted:

Not him

I sadly can’t divulge much but i promise you it’s REALLY funny.

They thought it was a famous golden bear but it ended up being his cub. It’s since gone away.

lmao

waah
Jun 20, 2011

Better stay in line when
You see a Pavel like me shinin

Amy Pole Her posted:

Not him

I sadly can’t divulge much but i promise you it’s REALLY funny.

They thought it was a famous golden bear but it ended up being his cub. It’s since gone away.

:bisonyes:

Guess someone is getting cut out of the will

tangy yet delightful
Sep 13, 2005



Amy Pole Her posted:

Not him

I sadly can’t divulge much but i promise you it’s REALLY funny.

They thought it was a famous golden bear but it ended up being his cub. It’s since gone away.

Manicured greens. The ability to play in the rough if you so desire. One in holes.

What's not to love?

neutral milf hotel
Oct 9, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
what's funny is the FL police made a traffic stop on kraft's bentley as they left the spa, where they checked his ID. he probably knew since that day that the cops were on to him

Ehud
Sep 19, 2003

football.

sweet thursday
Sep 16, 2012

Kraft doesnt gently caress the slaves. He fucks the slave drivers. He is bringing balance to justice and how Dare you

CyberPingu
Sep 15, 2013


If you're not striving to improve, you'll end up going backwards.

Didnt he already get off?

D-LINK
Oct 1, 2007

I was talking to peachy Peach about kissy Kiss. He bought me a soda.
Lol the Patriots' "character coach" quit because Kraft visiting whores made him uncomfortable

bobjr
Oct 16, 2012

Roose is loose.
🐓🐓🐓✊🪧

If you’re going to an illegal sex place it’s bad character not to give proper dieting tips.

AsInHowe
Jan 11, 2007

red winged angel
https://twitter.com/redditships/status/1102660130812936192

Rooster Brooster
Mar 30, 2001

Maybe it doesn't really matter anymore.

Quiet Feet posted:

Andy Reid in a darkened room lit only by the glow of a screen, sweat dripping from his forehead as he types in Ribmaps.com.

i think about this post a lot

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

bone shaking.
soul baking.

Rooster Brooster posted:

i think about this post a lot

its really good and makes me laugh every time i read it

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

Sounds like a good reason for his wife to use Rubmaps.com. Maybe they can turn this testimonial into an advert.

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Did he eat her out after? Eatin' ain't cheatin'.

hobbesmaster
Jan 28, 2008


Nice try Mr Kraft.

sweet thursday
Sep 16, 2012

Honestly, I thought you wanted a sad looking Asian woman to jerk me off for my birthday!

Dr_Strangelove
Dec 16, 2003

Mein Fuhrer! THEY WON!


A masseur is a man, a masseuse is a woman

:mmmhmm:

Fifty Three
Oct 29, 2007

Quiet Feet posted:

Andy Reid in a darkened room lit only by the glow of a screen, sweat dripping from his forehead as he types in Ribmaps.com.
Imagine the poor detective who has to go through napkins covered in bbq sauce

Finger Prince
Jan 5, 2007


Fifty Three posted:

Imagine the poor detective who has to go through napkins covered in bbq sauce

Gagging at the smoky, vinegary stench of it. Where he's from, a man would get a dry rub and be happy about it. All this sticky, sticky sauce... It's obscene.

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

bone shaking.
soul baking.
Andy Reid going whole hog sure conjures up a different mental image than Bob Kraft going whole hog.

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Dr_Strangelove
Dec 16, 2003

Mein Fuhrer! THEY WON!

Mr. Nice! posted:

Andy Reid going whole hog sure conjures up a different mental image than Bob Kraft going whole hog.

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