/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

xtal: Jan 9, 2011; by Fluffdaddy

SciFiDownBeat posted:

I'm pizza-oriented but that doesn't mean I snatch pizza out of people's hands and pass it off as my own

You just learned a big difference between pizzas and careers, then. "Career-oriented" is a euphemism for Machiavellianism in the workplace.

xtal fucked around with this message at 20:49 on Mar 5, 2019

# ? Mar 5, 2019 20:45

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# ? May 30, 2024 21:29

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

loving over your partner like this is....wow lol

Salt the earth

# ? Mar 5, 2019 20:58

Pinecone Sample: Oct 12, 2010; THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

AITA for crying when my mom made pork

quote:

TL;DR: Pork is basically people and I leaked eye water when mom made an unseasoned pork after I asked her not to. Since people aren't reading the post: I'm happy to cook for myself and for them. I'm expected to eat with the family. I'm not incapable of feeding myself.

Ok, this requires a little backstory. I(29F) live with my parents while I go to school full time to be an X-ray Technologist. Long story really short, my dad was diagnosed with cancer last year and my parents offered to pay for me to go back to school if I moved back home and kept an extra eye on dad. (I own a house in the midwest.)

I'm about a year into my RADT program and I've seen all sorts of really nasty stuff at clinical. Part of our program requires us to spend X amount of hours in the OR(operating room) working the C-arm. Now, to the pork thing. Ever since I started in OR I developed a severe aversion to the smell of unseasoned pork as it cooked. It might have something to do with the smell that comes from cauterizing.

I'm happy to cook meals for my parents, and I am a pretty good cook. But I've asked respectfully that if they plan on making pork meals, that they heavily season it(Garlic, herbs, bbq). Mom seemed a little taken aback and asked me why. I explained that it had to do with my experience in the OR and the smells. She seemed to understand and agreed she wouldn't make pork.

So 5:30 rolls around and no one has asked me to make dinner, and it doesn't seem dinner is in the works so I figured it was a 'fend for yourself' night. I come downstairs and am assaulted by the smell of boiling pork.

Me: "So what are you making."

Mom: "a ham"

OK I'm panicking. She opens the lid of the *slow cooker* and I see something that vaguely resembles a pale rear end cheek swimming in some tan liquid. I'm sweating from nausea. 5 minutes go by and dad comes up the stairs and says, "Can you check to see if the veggies are done?" (I get asked to do this a lot because my parents don't know what a cooked carrot is supposed to look like, I guess.)

I open the lid and I poo poo you not there is a pot full of pork stock filled with potatoes, carrots and greenbeans. Literally no seasoning. Just Pork Flavored Boiled Vegetables.

Is there no pork-free option? The finished "ham" literally looks like the inside of someone's rear end cheek while they do a posterior hip replacement.

Voice shaking I say to dad(mom is downstairs) "I can't eat this"

Dad, "Why not?"

Me, "I've explained that I can't do pork..."

Dad, "When did you say that?

Me, "Around the time I started OR -" I'm starting to cry.

Dad, "Well are you going to eat it?"

Me, voice cracking "no..."

Dad, Loudly, "What?"

Mom comes back up stairs, "Whats wrong?"

Me, actually crying now, "I'm sorry I can't eat this!"

Mom makes an indignant sound and I run upstairs. And now I'm typing this story. So reddit, AITA?

EDIT I guess I should add that our family traditionally eats together. I cried because I felt forced to sit next to the ham, not because she fixed it.

Edit: I wasn't sobbing guys, I teared up and was trying not to gag. Also, I'm perfectly capable and more than willing to feed myself in this scenario. Cause of tears was ham smell.

# ? Mar 5, 2019 21:00

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

waah posted:

I'm waiting to find out this twin mess happened in the BeatmasterJ bathroom.

Couldn't be, no sex has ever or will ever occur in that bathroom.

# ? Mar 5, 2019 21:05

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Pinecone Sample posted:

AITA for crying when my mom made pork

You're not an rear end in a top hat, OP, but yo are bug-gently caress crazy and your mom isn't an rear end in a top hat if she gets annoyed dealing with you.

# ? Mar 5, 2019 21:08

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Pinecone Sample posted:

AITA for crying when my mom made pork

I'm laughing at this person.

# ? Mar 5, 2019 21:09

Willfrey: Jul 20, 2007; Why don't the poors simply buy more money?; Fun Shoe

Biplane posted:

I'm laughing at this person.

Now think about this same person doing surgery on you

# ? Mar 5, 2019 21:11

caterpillaropera: Aug 31, 2004; Who's gonna teach you to bump and grind?; Buglord

Leon Einstein posted:

I doubt they would smell the same. People have their own unique scent.

I'm married to an identical twin I've known since HS. I can tell you that at least until they moved out of their parents' house and my husband became a vegetarian, their general body odor was exactly the same.

His brother was a creep and pulled something similar with my husband's ex-girlfriend, except it was just making out. We're not in contact with him because he's still a creep and a thief.

# ? Mar 5, 2019 21:15

Nice piece of fish: Jan 29, 2008; Ultra Carp

caterpillaropera posted:

I'm married to an identical twin I've known since HS. I can tell you that at least until they moved out of their parents' house and my husband became a vegetarian, their general body odor was exactly the same.

His brother was a creep and pulled something similar with my husband's ex-girlfriend, except it was just making out. We're not in contact with him because he's still a creep and a thief.

Or so you believe

# ? Mar 5, 2019 21:16

Araenna: Dec 27, 2012; Lipstick Apathy

Ham smells terrible to a lot of people when boiling. I'm also willing to bet that the entire meal wasn't unseasoned, the parents probably didn't realize that they meant "heavily seasoned so I can't even tell it's pork at all while cooking"

# ? Mar 5, 2019 21:16

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

This is why trained dick sommeliers look at a variety of factors, including:
-taste and aroma
-body
-mouth feel
-finish

# ? Mar 5, 2019 21:18

waah: Jun 20, 2011; Better stay in line when
You see a Pavel like me shinin

CheesyDog posted:

This is why trained dick sommeliers look at a variety of factors, including:
-taste and aroma
-body
-mouth feel
-finish

Well this has a real nutty flavor

# ? Mar 5, 2019 21:20

Motronic: Nov 6, 2009

Araenna posted:

Ham smells terrible to a lot of people when boiling. I'm also willing to bet that the entire meal wasn't unseasoned, the parents probably didn't realize that they meant "heavily seasoned so I can't even tell it's pork at all while cooking"

It was a ham. How is a ham considered unseasoned pork?

# ? Mar 5, 2019 21:21

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

You should begin your evaluation before the cork is even popped. Under what conditions has the dick been stored? Turn the dick in your hands - is the surface free of dust and irregularities?

# ? Mar 5, 2019 21:22

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

CheesyDog posted:

This is why trained dick sommeliers look at a variety of factors, including:
-taste and aroma
-body
-mouth feel
-finish

Don't forget consistency and presentation.

# ? Mar 5, 2019 21:27

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

Im poo poo post oriented

# ? Mar 5, 2019 21:32

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

AITA for telling a girl I have been seeing that I won't skip the gym one day a week to see her more?

quote:

Background info:

I workout 6-7 days a week. I have been for 6.5 years and well before she was a part of my life, and in fact, my body is likely (though she'd never admit it) what attracted her in the first place.

Lifting is my main hobby. Outside of working (currently ~8:30am-6pm Monday-Saturday, normal hours 9-5 M-F) it's really the only thing I consistently do on a daily basis. I love it, it makes me happy, and it's really the only hobby I have. By the time I get back from the gym it's 8:30-9pm and I'm tired and lay in bed with my cat and watch Netflix until I pass out. I hangout with her either Friday or Saturday night every week.

So, this girl I have been seeing for about a year now brings up the other day how she's been getting "weird vibes" from "people and her family" about how I don't see her enough. She then transitions that to "can you skip the gym one day a week to see me more". I think she already knew I wasn't going to do that-- she knows me, she knows I don't skip unless I have to. But I told her, no, and now she's been being a dick and ice cold for the past 3 days and giving poo poo about how she "sees where my priorities are" and how she's going to "stop giving a gently caress because that's what I want".

I don't think I'm being unreasonable. As I said, it's really my only consistent hobby and I even told her I'd never expect her to skip something weekly that she really cared about. I told her I could even understand if she wanted me to do it occasionally, but to expect me to do it once a week is ludicrous to me.

I understand her intention for the question is just because she wants to see me more which is great, but I don't think she should be treating me like such an rear end in a top hat for telling her it's not really something I'm willing to do.

Reddit, am I the rear end in a top hat?

TL;DR: I workout pretty much daily and girl wants me to start skipping to see her more

Edit - Relevant info for people that don't want to read through 100 comments

1. I asked her if she'd like to join my gym and see each other more often that way, she pretty much said no and it'd be pathetic to join my gym and force me to hangout with her

2. I asked what a day that would work for her is or what would work for her in general, and she read it 30 minutes ago and didn't respond. ----- she responded as I was typing this and said "nothing because now I know it won't make you happy, I'm not forcing you to want to see me. I thought you would want to, but I was wrong".

3. She works out at planet fitness and that really isn't an option for me. I've gone there to meet up with her a couple of times and they set that dumb rear end alarm off for no reason.

Buddy, stop stringing this girl along and dump her so you can marry the real love of your life, your gym.

# ? Mar 5, 2019 21:53

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

quote:

3. She works out at planet fitness and that really isn't an option for me. I've gone there to meet up with her a couple of times and they set that dumb rear end alarm off for no reason.

What does this mean

# ? Mar 5, 2019 21:55

AnimeIsTrash: Jun 30, 2018

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for telling a girl I have been seeing that I won't skip the gym one day a week to see her more?

Buddy, stop stringing this girl along and dump her so you can marry the real love of your life, your gym.

The classic gains goblin dilemma. :allears:

# ? Mar 5, 2019 21:59

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for telling a girl I have been seeing that I won't skip the gym one day a week to see her more?

Absolutely not. If she feels this guy hasn't passed the test, & he feels like she's giving him an ultimatum to change something fundamental to his identity, they should just break up.

edit: although lol that he will only see her/any friends friday and saturday, not any other days

# ? Mar 5, 2019 22:01

wizardofloneliness: Dec 30, 2008

Chomp8645 posted:

What does this mean

The lunk alarm. If they catch you actually working out you get in trouble for making the other people there feel bad.

# ? Mar 5, 2019 22:02

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Chomp8645 posted:

What does this mean

PF's whole gimmick is that it's a gym for people who aren't really serious about fitness, to the point that they actually have a siren that goes off if people are slamming weights around or grunting too loud while lifting.

# ? Mar 5, 2019 22:02

facialimpediment: Feb 11, 2005; as the world turns

Chomp8645 posted:

What does this mean

Planet Fitness gyms are "judgment-free zones" so they don't want muscular people, they want people that will come to the gym once or twice during the Planet Fitness pizza day, then never come back.

The Lunk Alarm goes off when some big dude drops weights or bros out too hard.

# ? Mar 5, 2019 22:02

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

facialimpediment posted:

Planet Fitness gyms are "judgment-free zones" so they don't want muscular people, they want people that will come to the gym once or twice during the Planet Fitness pizza day, then never come back.

The Lunk Alarm goes off when some big dude drops weights or bros out too hard.

Those guys are really obnoxious.

# ? Mar 5, 2019 22:03

Crespolini: Mar 9, 2014

Chomp8645 posted:

What does this mean

if you grunt or lift too heavy of a weight they set of an alarm to shame you

# ? Mar 5, 2019 22:03

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for telling a girl I have been seeing that I won't skip the gym one day a week to see her more?

Buddy, stop stringing this girl along and dump her so you can marry the real love of your life, your gym.

Everyone knows you�re supposed to have a rest day smh

Chomp8645 posted:

What does this mean

Planet Fitness likes to brand itself as a welcoming and friendly environment for people who don�t want to feel judged or intimidated by gym bros. To that end they have a large alarm they set off called the lunk alarm if you drops the weights, grunt too heavily, etc.

I�m sure it varies from location to location but lots of people complain planet fitness basically just tries punish people who actually show up to wrk out

# ? Mar 5, 2019 22:04

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

Chomp8645 posted:

What does this mean

So planet fitness has this thing called the "lunk alarm" that goes off whenever someone "grunts loudly, drops weights, or judges." Ostensibly it's to maintain keep the gym atmosphere friendly and judgment-free, but really discourages people from using the heavy weights at all.

Planet fitness is also known for giving out free donuts and other unhealthy poo poo at the gym.

Uh, i guess everyone else beat me to the punch.

# ? Mar 5, 2019 22:05

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

christmas boots posted:

Planet Fitness likes to brand itself as a welcoming and friendly environment for people who don�t want to feel judged or intimidated by gym bros. To that end they have a large alarm they set off called the lunk alarm if you drops the weights, grunt too heavily, etc.

I�m sure it varies from location to location but lots of people complain planet fitness basically just tries punish people who actually show up to wrk out

I go to Planet Fitness and I see plenty of people in extremely good physical condition using heavy weights regularly. It's just that they actually have to avoid being obnoxious about it because there's a lot of people attending the gym who aren't muscle bros (I especially see a lot of older people trying to stay healthy) and don't like getting distracted or annoyed by guys screaming and throwing metal around when they work out.

# ? Mar 5, 2019 22:07

Alien Sex Manual: Dec 14, 2010; is not a sandwich

Araenna posted:

Ham smells terrible to a lot of people when boiling. I'm also willing to bet that the entire meal wasn't unseasoned, the parents probably didn't realize that they meant "heavily seasoned so I can't even tell it's pork at all while cooking"

Personally, after I had baby #2 I can�t stand the smell of any type of pork cooking, not even bacon. Same with eggs.

# ? Mar 5, 2019 22:09

Crespolini: Mar 9, 2014

chitoryu12 posted:

I go to Planet Fitness and I see plenty of people in extremely good physical condition using heavy weights regularly. It's just that they actually have to avoid being obnoxious about it because there's a lot of people attending the gym who aren't muscle bros (I especially see a lot of older people trying to stay healthy) and don't like getting distracted or annoyed by guys screaming and throwing metal around when they work out.

they take it very seriously. there's actually this thing called a lunk alarm, and whenever someone gets too loud or rambunctious it goes of to quiet them down

# ? Mar 5, 2019 22:11

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

lol what the hell, that's stupid as poo poo. Someone sound the alarm, I've been micro-aggressed by the clanking of weights at the gym!!!

# ? Mar 5, 2019 22:12

Dienes: Nov 4, 2009; dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot; College Slice

Chomp8645 posted:

What does this mean

Planet Fitness has a button you can press if you find another person annoying or intimidating, causing a literal alarm to sound and staff to come evict the person.

Some folks legitimately are dicks at the gym - loudly judging other people, exaggerating their grunts (you don't need to SCREAM during a deadlift or a squat), slamming/throwing equipment around (a lot of the dumbbells have screw-on ends that come loose pretty easy if they are dropped), and just generally being obnoxious. On the other hand, some folks just exhaled too loudly or wore a tank top (there's technically a dress code for the gym and tank tops aren't allowed). In otherwords, sometimes people are kicked out for non-issues. Its not super consistent between gyms how strictly they enforce the rules (and whether or not the alarm is triggered depends on the other patrons that are there at the time).

The people that are super angry about the alarm are people that 1) don't actually want to work out at PF anyway, and 2) are the exact assholes you'd want kicked out.

# ? Mar 5, 2019 22:13

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

chitoryu12 posted:

I go to Planet Fitness and I see plenty of people in extremely good physical condition using heavy weights regularly. It's just that they actually have to avoid being obnoxious about it because there's a lot of people attending the gym who aren't muscle bros (I especially see a lot of older people trying to stay healthy) and don't like getting distracted or annoyed by guys screaming and throwing metal around when they work out.

To be honest I wouldn't really be surprised if the vast majority of them were just normal gyms and it was only a handful of locations that have gone crazy.

I've never been to one, I signed up with a local gym for a really good price. No bells and whistles, just weights and machines.

# ? Mar 5, 2019 22:13

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

chitoryu12 posted:

I go to Planet Fitness and I see plenty of people in extremely good physical condition using heavy weights regularly.

Do they have a window facing a gym or something?

# ? Mar 5, 2019 22:13

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Dienes posted:

Planet Fitness has a button you can press if you find another person annoying or intimidating, causing a literal alarm to sound and staff to come evict the person.

Some folks legitimately are dicks at the gym - loudly judging other people, exaggerating their grunts (you don't need to SCREAM during a deadlift or a squat), slamming/throwing equipment around (a lot of the dumbbells have screw-on ends that come loose pretty easy if they are dropped), and just generally being obnoxious. On the other hand, some folks just exhaled too loudly or wore a tank top (there's technically a dress code for the gym and tank tops aren't allowed). In otherwords, sometimes people are kicked out for non-issues. Its not super consistent between gyms how strictly they enforce the rules (and whether or not the alarm is triggered depends on the other patrons that are there at the time).

The people that are super angry about the alarm are people that 1) don't actually want to work out at PF anyway, and 2) are the exact assholes you'd want kicked out.

Tank tops are definitely allowed. This is what's prohibited according to their website:

quote:

Open-toed shoes or sandals
Mud-caked, greasy, or soiled shoes or clothing
Jeans or pants with prominent grommets
Clothing with messaging that a reasonable person may find offensive or otherwise inappropriate

# ? Mar 5, 2019 22:14

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Also why the hate for the gallon-jug? Hydration is important, folks!

# ? Mar 5, 2019 22:16