/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

Smirking_Serpent posted:

Arrested for trespassing at my work when I was just getting coffee and checking my schedule. (NC)

So I worked at a gas station for about a month and I went into the store one morning to get some coffee and check my schedule. My store is very short staffed and we will have people from other stores come into to work some shifts. On that day the girl working was someone I had never seen before. I went to go get a coffee and walk out when the girl said I had to pay for the coffee, I explained to her that I was an employee there and even showed her my name on the schedule, but she insisted I pay. Two cops came in coincidentally and she told them the situation, they took me outside to talk to me about it and after I explain my side of the situation told me to put my hands behind my back while they looked into it. Out of confusion I simply turned to face him and said "what why?" and I poo poo you not the other cop with him slams me to the ground and arrests me, then they bring me to jail with the charges of trespassing and resisting arrest....

I literally can not afford a lawyer to save my life right now, what are my options.

I mean seriously I got trespassing at my WORKPLACE. I was on payroll, the schedule and everything.

They didn't even charge me for "stealing the coffee" just slapped me with trespassing and resisting, while also bruising me up and consiquentally getting fired from my job because the situation looked bad to the managers and i was forced to miss my shift that day.

Please help!!!

Edit: And by the way I know the cop did not read me my miranda rights. He threw me to the ground and said "Yea now you're going to jail kid" and threw me into the car.

This guy is definitely black.

# ? Mar 13, 2019 12:22

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# ? May 15, 2024 05:22

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

Darkhold posted:

Look if you can't give me a raise at least lower the cripple's wages. They're not fully a person remember.

"Cripples don't deserve to equal wages as me"
gently caress this dude.

And he also posted this delightful gem elsewhere:

Young men today are educated to be a bunch scared pussies in bed.

quote:

I think the guys of my generation are doomed to be failures in bed. Yes, it�s super important to support sexual assault victims and expose the perps. But, the social movements and �education� about sex in the past decade have reduced the young men of our generation into little scared pussies in bed. The guys I�ve dated recently are all like: �Is it ok to kiss you?� �Is it ok to touch you here?� �Is it ok to enter? Are you sure?� OMFG just do it already! Yes, I like �nonconsensual play� and I might have an affinity for the neanderthals in bed. But still, I feel like men today are doing more emotional exploration and asking questions than actually f*cking. Am I wrong?

# ? Mar 13, 2019 12:33

MightyJoe36: Dec 29, 2013; Cat Army

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

What in the heck is with these impossibly oblivious idiot men who think it's okay to put down their partner's physical attributes? Sure, maybe their girlfriend isn't the perfect fantasy woman for them, but Jesus loving Christ, why would you ever tell them that in billions of years? What is wrong with people?????!!!!

My wife is not my "perfect fantasy woman" but as far as she knows, she is.

# ? Mar 13, 2019 12:42

MightyJoe36: Dec 29, 2013; Cat Army

Zzulu posted:

In order to be completely fair, they should make that guy a disabled person too. Then the wages would be 100% fair and equal

Sounds like a reasonable accomodation.

# ? Mar 13, 2019 12:59

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

My partner knows very well that she is not some sort of perfect amalgamation of everything I find attractive in women and she doesn't give a poo poo because she knows I still love everything that she is

I also know that I'm not perfect

jesus we're not living in fantasy land

# ? Mar 13, 2019 13:05

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

Smirking_Serpent posted:

Arrested for trespassing at my work when I was just getting coffee and checking my schedule. (NC)

So I worked at a gas station for about a month and I went into the store one morning to get some coffee and check my schedule. My store is very short staffed and we will have people from other stores come into to work some shifts. On that day the girl working was someone I had never seen before. I went to go get a coffee and walk out when the girl said I had to pay for the coffee, I explained to her that I was an employee there and even showed her my name on the schedule, but she insisted I pay. Two cops came in coincidentally and she told them the situation, they took me outside to talk to me about it and after I explain my side of the situation told me to put my hands behind my back while they looked into it. Out of confusion I simply turned to face him and said "what why?" and I poo poo you not the other cop with him slams me to the ground and arrests me, then they bring me to jail with the charges of trespassing and resisting arrest....

I literally can not afford a lawyer to save my life right now, what are my options.

I mean seriously I got trespassing at my WORKPLACE. I was on payroll, the schedule and everything.

They didn't even charge me for "stealing the coffee" just slapped me with trespassing and resisting, while also bruising me up and consiquentally getting fired from my job because the situation looked bad to the managers and i was forced to miss my shift that day.

Please help!!!

Edit: And by the way I know the cop did not read me my miranda rights. He threw me to the ground and said "Yea now you're going to jail kid" and threw me into the car.

This reads as if something important is being left out.

# ? Mar 13, 2019 13:57

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

DemoneeHo posted:

"Cripples don't deserve to equal wages as me"
gently caress this dude.

And he also posted this delightful gem elsewhere:

Young men today are educated to be a bunch scared pussies in bed.

I think it's a woman posting.

God forbid a guy doesn't want to indulge your rape fantasies in today's world.

Leon Einstein fucked around with this message at 14:06 on Mar 13, 2019

# ? Mar 13, 2019 14:01

Zedd: Jul 6, 2009; I mean, who would have noticed another madman around here?

Or a gay/bi dude.

# ? Mar 13, 2019 14:07

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

Zzulu posted:

My partner knows very well that she is not some sort of perfect amalgamation of everything I find attractive in women and she doesn't give a poo poo because she knows I still love everything that she is

I also know that I'm not perfect

jesus we're not living in fantasy land

This. You don't have to tell your partner they're perfect, but you should not list to them the ways in which they are physically not 'your type' I mean holy poo poo

You just have to make your partner feel attractive and loved

My favorite is that these guys still see it as just a blunt honesty problem instead of a POV/perspective and sensitivity problem. No, it wasn't because you were 'honest', it's because you even think in those one-sided and selfish terms in the first place dumb-dumb. You gotta rejigger your thinking.

# ? Mar 13, 2019 14:10

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

spacetoaster posted:

This reads as if something important is being left out.

The part where he's black

# ? Mar 13, 2019 14:26

Sandwich Anarchist: Sep 12, 2008

CheesyDog posted:

The part where he's black

# ? Mar 13, 2019 14:27

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

CheesyDog posted:

The part where he's black

# ? Mar 13, 2019 14:28

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Zedd posted:

Or a gay/bi dude.

Almost definitely a girl, they talk about makeup a little too.

Her history reads like from an alternate universe where gender roles are swapped and she�s the equivalent of an MRA.

# ? Mar 13, 2019 14:28

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

CheesyDog posted:

The part where he's black

Based on his username, he�s at least probably Hispanic.

lovely situation since the resisting arrest charge probably stays even if the theft/trespassing charges get beat.

# ? Mar 13, 2019 14:30

Zedd: Jul 6, 2009; I mean, who would have noticed another madman around here?

SpaceSDoorGunner posted:

Almost definitely a girl, they talk about makeup a little too.

Her history reads like from an alternate universe where gender roles are swapped and she’s the equivalent of an MRA.

Fair enough.
Still you'd think the ones being assholes to the disabled and whining about consent are usually dudes.. loving people suck.

# ? Mar 13, 2019 14:34

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

SpaceSDoorGunner posted:

Based on his username, he�s at least probably Hispanic.

lovely situation since the resisting arrest charge probably stays even if the theft/trespassing charges get beat.

It's even shittier because he says he's moving 1,000 miles away next month and doesn't know how he's going to go to court for this.

# ? Mar 13, 2019 14:35

Miserable Maid: Apr 22, 2010; Cat Army

MightyJoe36 posted:

My wife is not my "perfect fantasy woman" but as far as she knows, she is.

This is the correct answer, and it's weird how many people in the world can't understand it.

A common issue in these stories is people fundamentally misunderstanding the concept of "always be honest", and assume they just say exactly how feel with no filter, tact, or empathy

# ? Mar 13, 2019 14:53

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Miserable Maid posted:

This is the correct answer, and it's weird how many people in the world can't understand it.

A common issue in these stories is people fundamentally misunderstanding the concept of "always be honest", and assume they just say exactly how feel with no filter, tact, or empathy

It's typically not a misunderstanding. Those people don't like having to be nice when they really just want the whole world to conform to their desires. So they say whatever mean poo poo that pops into their head as a way to try and make others do what they want, whether that's getting breast implants or being appropriately subservient because you know how on borrowed time with this wonderful catch of a man.

# ? Mar 13, 2019 15:05

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

SirSamVimes posted:

This guy is definitely black.

He might beat the rap but he'll never beat the ride.

# ? Mar 13, 2019 15:36

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

'I'm just being honest' is the rallying cry of the racist, the sexist, the abusers, the Nazis of the world

That should give people more pause about which side they're actually on, but then they hear Hey Ya and it all goes to poo poo

# ? Mar 13, 2019 15:38

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

it's not a secret MRA PUA proud boy slogan it's just the nice guy defense for language. If that's the best justification you can offer for the poo poo you say, it's probably cause it failed every other standard, but a lot of turd dudes out there really like the idea that if you can find one (1) positive thing to say about a thing it is therefore unimpeachable cause otherwise they'd have to face how comprehensively they suck.

My friend [22M] got my [22F] nickname tattooed on him

quote:

Been friends for a year and a half. Very cool bloke. He reminds me of myself but slightly more outgoing. I have a nickname that's pretty unique. It's not taken from my real name. It's a name I use online but it caught on in my friend circle. They think it's a cool name and could work as a stage name or a band name. People often ask me what it means or where did it come from. Anyway, about a week or so ago I noticed some fresh ink on my pal. Tattooed on his arms was my nickname. The first half on his right arm and the second half on his left. I thought it was weird but at the time I told him it was cool.

I'm really bothered by it. Every time we hangout I can't help but stare at his arms and wonder "why?". It almost offends me, like he's trying to steal my name or something. But I know that's not the case. Should I just come out and ask why he got the tattoo? And how it makes me feel? If it matters, it isn't his first tattoo. He has one on his back that's amazing and original.

A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 16:15 on Mar 13, 2019

# ? Mar 13, 2019 16:13

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

Not to mention that I bet these same 'brutally honest"guys are probably incredibly insecure about the possibility that their height or penis is a few inches too short, their canthal tilt is the wrong angle, and a million other manifestations of their own self loathing. I'd be shocked if they did really take what they dish out.

# ? Mar 13, 2019 16:27

duck trucker: Oct 14, 2017; YOSPOS

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

My friend [22M] got my [22F] nickname tattooed on him

Friend is a murderer and gets tattoos of his victims. It's just his favorite tattoo artist was going on vacation so he had to get it early

# ? Mar 13, 2019 16:29

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Panfilo posted:

Not to mention that I bet these same 'brutally honest"guys are probably incredibly insecure about the possibility that their height or penis is a few inches too short, their canthal tilt is the wrong angle, and a million other manifestations of their own self loathing. I'd be shocked if they did really take what they dish out.

if they could take criticism they wouldn't be droning on about how nobody can handle their refreshingly honest stable genius takes

# ? Mar 13, 2019 16:30

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

it's not a secret MRA PUA proud boy slogan it's just the nice guy defense for language. If that's the best justification you can offer for the poo poo you say, it's probably cause it failed every other standard, but a lot of turd dudes out there really like the idea that if you can find one (1) positive thing to say about a thing it is therefore unimpeachable cause otherwise they'd have to face how comprehensively they suck.

My friend [22M] got my [22F] nickname tattooed on him

Wtf someone copied a reddit post I made years ago and changed the gender/ages.

# ? Mar 13, 2019 16:32

blugu64: Jul 17, 2006; Do you realize that fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face?

cumshitter posted:

Wtf someone copied a reddit post I made years ago and changed the gender/ages.

Wow, so you use reddit?

# ? Mar 13, 2019 16:49

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

My wife [28F] found out that my mother [59F] and I [28M] have been lying to her about our baby [0M] for months

quote:

This all went down about an hour ago and my wife is still crying in our bathroom with the door locked.

Backstory: We had our son (now 11 months old) while my wife is in residency. She took a few weeks off before giving birth, and then went back to work a few months after, while I transitioned my hours to part-time so that I could stay at home and raise our son. My mom moved in with us shortly after the birth in order to help out, which allows me to get in the few hours of work per day and also not get swamped with taking care of the baby/housework. She's quite old-fashioned and would definitely not prefer this arrangement with me being a stay-at-home dad, but she hasn't said anything to either of us and has been a great help.

For anyone unfamiliar with medical residency, it is brutal. My wife has just over a year left. Sometimes she comes and goes for 1-3 days and our son is asleep the whole time she's home, which has been happening more as his sleep schedule shifted to sleeping through the night. My mom and I make sure that when she's home and the baby is awake, my wife gets him 100%. I know it's been hard on her, but unfortunately it's just going to be this way for another year.

The first big milestone she missed was him rolling over. When she got home, my mom pulled her over to the baby all excited. I thought she was going to tell her, but instead she says "Julie, you came home right on time! He's been moving about as if he's going to roll over!" They both stood there encouraging him, and right on cue he rolls. My wife was elated. She was so worried and guilty about not being there and she took it as proof that she can still be a present mother while working.

So we continued. I send texts over little things she misses through the day so that it's not completely unbelievable, but my wife has been 'present' for every single BIG milestone. He coincidentally started crawling with her right there, his first words were in front of her, and he began standing, cruising, and walking when she happened to be home. The walking one was difficult- there was a tough 7 day stretch where she just wasn't home during the daytime when he was awake, and his walking went from teetering to walking a couple steps pretty confidently in that time. We put little beanbags in one of his pants pockets so he'd be wobbly and unbalanced and it looked believable since he fell after the first step like he was doing a week ago. Yes, it was mean to our poor son but my wife's face was worth it.

Today it all unravelled. So far he can just say 'mama', 'dada' and 'nana'. Yesterday he started saying 'bye-bye'. My wife has today off and has been home all morning. My mom and I have been trying to get him to say bye all day without giving it away that we already know he can say bye. Successfully got him to say bye to the ducks at the park, and we both gushed over his newest word the whole way home. My wife was using my phone to take pictures of him and began showing my mom at home while telling her about his newest word acquisition. She was swiping through my gallery and saw a video from yesterday and goes "oh you never sent me this one!" It was literally like a slow motion film happening in front of my eyes. I had taken the video of him yesterday waving bye-bye.

My wife isn't an idiot. She figured the whole ruse out pretty much instantly. I've never seen her look so upset and heartbroken before. I couldn't say or do anything to comfort her. Now she's locked herself in the bathroom crying and won't come out. I'm on our bed hoping someone can please tell me what to do to make this better.

tl,dr: my mom and I lied to my wife about our son's milestones for months, and she just found out.

Patrick Spens fucked around with this message at 17:06 on Mar 13, 2019

# ? Mar 13, 2019 17:02

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Patrick Spens posted:

My wife [28F] found out that my mother [59F] and I [28M] have been lying to her about our baby [0M] for months

I'm more amused than I should be about the baby's age being given.

# ? Mar 13, 2019 17:03

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

Is it ok to sleep with your ex, if the only other alternative is to sleep on the floor?

quote:

My girlfriend is away for 5 nights to reunite with some friends, unfortunately the ex is also there. Ideally she doesn’t want anything to do with her ex, she tells me, but this was planned almost a year in advance.
· This ex is someone who she was previously in a long term relationship with. I was betrayed by her and her ex in the past, and we have since then been trying to rebuild my trust for her. She knows I am uncomfortable with the idea of them two being together this time away.
· There is 1 double bed and 1 shared sofa bed, and 5 people (including herself) in total. The double bed is occupied, and so apparently the only option is to sleep with her ex in the sofa bed (just her and him).
· She promises me that this isn’t what she wanted and she tried to change the situation, but there was no other options. She promises there is no physical contact and that they have set boundaries between each other.
· They are sleeping the same side of the bed (I asked if top-tail – she says "what difference does that make?" because she didn’t think it would be a problem because they’re not cuddling or anything – I thought this was ludicrous and that surely you top tail to keep distance from each other?)
She didn’t even discuss the situation with me prior to it happening, I only found out because I was brave enough to ask what the sleep situation was.
Am I crazy, but were there totally different options? If I were in that position with my ex-girlfriend, I would without hesitation buy a £5 blow up bed, sleep on the floor or ask to change with someone: not just because she deserves that level of love and respect, but because sleeping with my ex is the last thing I would want to do, it would make me sick to the core. The fact she doesn’t feel that same way, makes me incredibly uncomfortable.
She tells me that I am being ridiculous and that she would never in her life expect me to sleep uncomfortably on the floor. We have had a massive argument and it’s pushed me to the point where I don’t feel I can be with this person. She is still away at the moment and we are not talking.
TL;DR: Am I overreacting? My girlfriend is on holiday, sleeping with her ex.

# ? Mar 13, 2019 17:07

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

Piell posted:

Is it ok to sleep with your ex, if the only other alternative is to sleep on the floor?

See, I have difficulty with this question because the floor is my ex.

# ? Mar 13, 2019 17:10

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

The "first!" post reply parenting mindset. Firsts are fun to be around but it's the actual raising of a good kid and quality time that matters, not just managing to time things so you can see the "first" what ever then zip back out. Residency is brutal, she knew what she was getting into and doesn't need an extremely patronizing web of lies to make her feel a bit better.

Just like... keep her informed on milestones and poo poo, don't concoct an elaborate conspiracy including bean bags to force your child to stumble to fake it being less developed. It's a bit of a sweet sentiment but such a weird thing to do with such an obvious risk of getting caught, specially when you're an idiot and taking video evidence you've been staging all these "firsts".

Getting a text and a video saying "Baby took his first steps" but you were not there to see it is kinda sad but an extremely normal part of being a working parent. Finding out all your best "first" memories were lies is actually bad and depressing.

# ? Mar 13, 2019 17:13

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

There's a positive update, fortunately.

quote:

Don't think anyone would particularly care about an update but I all appreciated the insight anyways. So here's an update:

After I wrote the original post, my mom took my son to stay overnight with my wife's sister so that the two of us could have the house to ourselves.

We pretty much just talked for an hour while constantly reaffirming that we love each other a lot and want to sort this out. I apologized and explained why I did what I did. She said that feeling like she was there for our son's milestones was really just a band-aid solution that didn't actually convince her she was present. She said that if she actually had been using the milestones to feel like she was present, this would probably have felt worse for her. But since she wasn't, in her words, "deluding herself into thinking she's actually home", her main issue was that I lied which hurt her feelings. I apologized and explained that I honestly thought that she would prefer the lying if given the choice. She said she understood where I was coming from and that she felt betrayed when she realized, but she sees that I was doing it because I love her and she thinks we'll probably laugh about it with our grandkids one day (yes, I am very aware I don't deserve my wife).

Some things came out on my end that I wasn't going to tell her and didn't mention in my last post- namely, that I'm scared she's going to become suicidal. My uncle committed suicide when I was a child, in part from working in a high-stress job where he made a huge and costly mistake. One of my wife's colleagues attempted suicide while she was on mat leave. Being a working mom is bad enough, being a resident in this program is bad enough, both combined are a recipe for trouble. Since our son was born and the incident with her colleague happened, I've been afraid that if her home life wasn't perfect, it would push her over the edge. Anyways, she reassured me that that's not happening and I think saying it out loud also made me realize it's a pretty irrational, groundless fear.

We ordered takeout and sat together watching the real videos I have of all our son's firsts. I also have a special folder of pictures/videos of my son with my wife, so we went through that after. She almost choked from laughing so hard when I tentatively revealed the beanbag trick. I am the laughing stock of her friend-group chat. So I guess we're already at the stage where we're laughing about it.

Thank you to those who responded to the last post! The stereotype of someone in r/relationships advocating divorce every time anything happens is true.

tl;dr: marriage is work. I am stupid. We moved past it.

# ? Mar 13, 2019 17:15

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

Piell posted:

Is it ok to sleep with your ex, if the only other alternative is to sleep on the floor?

Hello sir I am an Ethopian prince and would like to share my riches with you. Please send me your banking information posthaste.

# ? Mar 13, 2019 17:18

PostNouveau: Sep 3, 2011; VY till I die; Grimey Drawer

chitoryu12 posted:

There's a positive update, fortunately.

Hey, people who can talk to each other!

# ? Mar 13, 2019 17:24

DandyLion: Jun 24, 2010; disrespectul Deciever

Piell posted:

Is it ok to sleep with your ex, if the only other alternative is to sleep on the floor?

I'm pretty sure it's not cheating if they don't both orgasm at the same time.

# ? Mar 13, 2019 17:48

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

chitoryu12 posted:

There's a positive update, fortunately.

This could also be a movie.

# ? Mar 13, 2019 17:52

Fuck Your Website: Nov 29, 2003; FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR WEBSITE

Piell posted:

Is it ok to sleep with your ex, if the only other alternative is to sleep on the floor?

You don't have a girlfriend, but as a human doormat you're probably too used to lying on the floor.

# ? Mar 13, 2019 17:55

Dienes: Nov 4, 2009; dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot; College Slice

Patrick Spens posted:

My wife [28F] found out that my mother [59F] and I [28M] have been lying to her about our baby [0M] for months

Go back in time and wait another year to have kids, idiots.

# ? Mar 13, 2019 17:56

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

DandyLion posted:

I'm pretty sure it's not cheating if they don't both orgasm at the same time.

Judges in multiple states have interpreted the law as meaning "roughly at the same time" or "in the same bout" rather than "exactly at the same time." There are people* who have been found guilty even when the "window" was a wide as an entire hour.

*: well lets be honest they were all men

# ? Mar 13, 2019 17:58

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 15, 2024 05:22

DandyLion: Jun 24, 2010; disrespectul Deciever

Doc Hawkins posted:

Judges in multiple states have interpreted the law as meaning "roughly at the same time" or "in the same bout" rather than "exactly at the same time." There are people* who have been found guilty even when the "window" was a wide as an entire hour.

*: well lets be honest they were all men

this is very disturbing

# ? Mar 13, 2019 18:15

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