SA's Greatest Sagas: careful that's a load-bearing slur

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > SA's Greatest Sagas: careful that's a load-bearing slur

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Elitist Bitch: Sep 13, 2007

His rap sheet is insane. I had no idea it was possible to get that many probations and bans out of posting in...GWS?

# ? Mar 16, 2019 22:29

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# ? May 17, 2024 17:31

That Damn Satyr: Nov 4, 2008; A connoisseur of fine junk

purple death ray posted:

so you're saying you definitely want lowtax to die. hosed up

Nah, I want our good boy to live. Thus the success part of my statement.

# ? Mar 17, 2019 00:24

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

My favorite part of this has always been that it was "help us get through the week!!" when they had like a month's worth of food stocked and a huge supply of spices. WE ONLY HAVE TWENTY POUNDS OF HAMBURGER AND FIVE BAGS OF PASTA TO SURVIVE A WEEK AS TWO PEOPLE, HEEEEEELP

# ? Mar 17, 2019 00:29

Shifty Nipples: Apr 8, 2007

EmmyOk posted:

Goon Sega

Gone swagger

# ? Mar 17, 2019 01:03

Nice Guy Patron: Jun 29, 2015

Antivehicular posted:

My favorite part of this has always been that it was "help us get through the week!!" when they had like a month's worth of food stocked and a huge supply of spices. WE ONLY HAVE TWENTY POUNDS OF HAMBURGER AND FIVE BAGS OF PASTA TO SURVIVE A WEEK AS TWO PEOPLE, HEEEEEELP

It's pretty insane. I also love that the only reason he mentions his hobby is because some goon joked that he needs to stop buying steam games.

# ? Mar 17, 2019 02:00

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Elitist Bitch posted:

His rap sheet is insane. I had no idea it was possible to get that many probations and bans out of posting in...GWS?

Have you SEEN the way goons talk about food?

# ? Mar 17, 2019 02:50

Queen Combat: Dec 29, 2017; Lipstick Apathy

The only good thing to come out of GWS was Doccers' Volvo chickencheese.

# ? Mar 17, 2019 04:10

xcheopis: Jul 23, 2003

Queen Combat posted:

The only good thing to come out of GWS was Doccers' Volvo chickencheese.

"Who can out chilli my chilli"

# ? Mar 17, 2019 04:22

Tardcore: Jan 24, 2011; Not cool enough for the Spider-man club.

Queen Combat posted:

The only good thing to come out of GWS was Doccers' Volvo chickencheese.

I liked the one were the TFR guy blasted a chicken breast with a shotgun shell loaded with peppercorns

# ? Mar 17, 2019 04:31

xcheopis: Jul 23, 2003

Tardcore posted:

I liked the one were the TFR guy blasted a chicken breast with a shotgun shell loaded with peppercorns

Trad games was hilarious.

# ? Mar 17, 2019 04:36

Queen Combat: Dec 29, 2017; Lipstick Apathy

Tardcore posted:

I liked the one were the TFR guy blasted a chicken breast with a shotgun shell loaded with peppercorns

That was Doccers. Same guy that put the block of cheese on the lathe.

# ? Mar 17, 2019 04:57

RC Cola: Aug 1, 2011; Dovie'andi se tovya sagain

What was the one thread a year ago where Jose was in a hurricane in Florida?

# ? Mar 17, 2019 05:28

Memento: Aug 25, 2009; Bleak Gremlin

Queen Combat posted:

That was Doccers. Same guy that put the block of cheese on the lathe.

Well worth a revisit if you have archives.

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3498320&pagenumber=29&perpage=40#post409791801

Edit: actually, it's gold-mined, so anyone can read it.

Memento has a new favorite as of 05:41 on Mar 17, 2019

# ? Mar 17, 2019 05:34

Pastry of the Year: Apr 12, 2013

I swear I get the phrase "lemme peep dat chickencheese" in my head about once every couple weeks

# ? Mar 18, 2019 14:06

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

Pasta Sauce: Miracle Worker Requested

I've never actually sat down and read that thread, just the OP. I had no idea just how far and how quickly it escalated.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 15:18

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

I've never actually sat down and read that thread, just the OP. I had no idea just how far and how quickly it escalated.

It was funny but got a little :catstare:

once people started posting the dude's LiveJournal entries and digging up furry profiles of his wife.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 15:24

FilthyImp: Sep 30, 2002; Anime Deviant

Any time there's talk about repeatedly hosting large LaRP groups or basically cooking and cleaning for/ housing them I think someone in the relationship has a poly-setup they're exploiting.

This goes to like 94% confidence if it's Vampire The Masquerade

# ? Mar 18, 2019 17:15

lifg: Dec 4, 2000; <this tag left blank>; Muldoon

There was an exciting ask/tell thread about LARPing and Vampire. Wish I could find it to read again. It was a lot of, "Bad Life Choices: The Reckoning."

# ? Mar 18, 2019 18:47

xcheopis: Jul 23, 2003

lifg posted:

There was an exciting ask/tell thread about LARPing and Vampire. Wish I could find it to read again. It was a lot of, "Bad Life Choices: The Reckoning."

This one?

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3735668

# ? Mar 18, 2019 19:07

lifg: Dec 4, 2000; <this tag left blank>; Muldoon

xcheopis posted:

This one?

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3735668

I think that's it!

Now I feel bad mocking it. I truly hope they're all living better lives now.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 20:01

Arivia: Mar 17, 2011

FilthyImp posted:

Any time there's talk about repeatedly hosting large LaRP groups or basically cooking and cleaning for/ housing them I think someone in the relationship has a poly-setup they're exploiting.

This goes to like 94% confidence if it's Vampire The Masquerade

I was reading a BDSM book from the 90s and it said "being a domestic slave is basically being a housewife except you get thank yous more often." A lot of diverse relationships are the same concerns rearranged in different forms.

# ? Mar 18, 2019 20:08

Pierre Chaton: Sep 1, 2006

At one point a bunch of images on the forums got replaced with a GIF of one ape fingering another's buthole. Was that the spat beetween Lowtax and Radium and the the Imageshack guy or something else?

# ? Mar 18, 2019 23:57

EmmyOk: Aug 11, 2013

Does anyone have the thread handy where people posted horrible nerd store experiences?

# ? Mar 19, 2019 16:38

lifg: Dec 4, 2000; <this tag left blank>; Muldoon

EmmyOk posted:

Does anyone have the thread handy where people posted horrible nerd store experiences?

One of these?

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=1653234

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=1687567

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2202819

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2534687

# ? Mar 19, 2019 17:00

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

lifg posted:

One of these?

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=1653234

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=1687567

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2202819

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2534687

Some of these are good but holy poo poo I hope in the 14 years since this post, this dude has become slightly less insufferable and smug:

quote:

The Spawning Pool, or: how Marvel and DC created a bioweapon aimed at all of humanity

This story is pretty long, which is partly the result of some bile that's been bubbling up in me about the superhero-obsessed direct market stores, or the model of the industry they help create. The payoff might not be worth the build-up. But I do describe some repulsive people in brutal detail, and who doesn't like that?

I don't have very many of these stories, because for the past couple of years I've been going almost exclusively to the best comic store anywhere ever, one that actually attracts good numbers of females and children and interesting young adults. However it's not within walking distance and won't be until I move into university next week, so I've sometimes had to stop in at the local place for pragmatic reasons if I'm just picking up Seven Soldiers or whatever. Anyway, it's...your stereotypical comics store. The owner and employees are perfectly decent, the store is par for the course as these things go, but it's packed with faded superhero standees and the TV is always tuned to what appears to be a 24-hour Star Trek channel. The kind of store where they manage to sell copies of Avatar comics (and not the ones by Alan Moore or Warren Ellis) but TPBs of The Invisibles languish in dust on the shelf. I like to imagine that no other human being has actually touched them since I snagged the second trade from that shelf a couple years ago. Anyway, the story itself began when I trundled down to the shop to pick up copies of Klarion and Darwyn Cooke's Solo. There was a Magic tournament in progress, and dear god do I know Magic tournaments, since I played in them until I hit 15 or so. This one wasn't that big, but it had some of the classic archetypes: the kid whose mom apparently crossbred with a squirrel ("Toothy"), the short fat one whose hair seems to have been cut with a straight razor ("Butterball"), the guy with a trenchcoat and huge chained wallet and really horrible lank hair ("Columbine"), the man who looks to be about 35, deeply fat and who's very seriously playing a fantasy card game with teenagers ("Sad Bastard") and of course the atrocious specimen who stinks of putrid milk ("Hazmat"). As I walked in Butterball was engaged in a earnest discussion with Hazmat about Halo 2 etiquette and whether the new Harry Potter book would be better than Lord of the Rings (probably not!) and I kind of wanted to die. But I had good comics to buy. So I grabbed them and was going to the counter to pay when something else caught my eye. I put them down and started to flip through it absentmindedly. Suddenly a creature emerged from the bathroom, and I have no cute nickname to give him, because he transcends them. He was the alpha and omega of antisocial insular nerdiness, the curse of the Marvel/DC/direct market status quo, like Solomon Grundy but uglier. He had that kind of awful curly afro some white guys get when they just stop caring about their hair, a chubby face framed by scraggly sideburns and half-shaved facial hair, topped liberally with grease. His shirt had holes in the stains. He was wearing hideous primary-color string-tied sweatpants, and they were drat sweaty, and they didn't quite meet the shirt so his fat hairy belly was slung out above them. And he was walking over to me.

"Hrrn" he grunted, starting to page through my copy of Klarion. I didn't really try to stop him, for various reasons. For one, he looked to be about my age, 17 or 18, and perhaps if I hadn't started reading stuff like Invisibles and Sandman I would've contined further down a path not unlike his. Perhaps he could be saved by good comics. And his hands didn't look greasy, so I was willing to give him a chance. But!

"This doesn't even have any superheroes" he said about Klarion. "Why is DC publishing it? These blue people look stupid and ugly and I have no idea who they are." I kind-of responded and took the book back. He started on Solo. That didn't seem to impress him much either -- until he got to the Catwoman pin-up.

Then he started...well, I can only really describe it as aural masturbation. From what I could see he didn't actually slip his sausage fingers down those sweatpants and start a party in the butcher's shop, but he did everything besides that. I saw some saliva, and I won't even try to capture the noises he was making. They sure were gleeful, though. And it made me feel kind of ill. To know that a comic I was getting ready to sit down and read, that even that sweet breezy pin-up were being made part of some stunted superfanboy's public adolescent fantasy almost ruined them for me ahead of time. I grabbed the comic from him and paid for it and then I went home and had chocolate milk and cookies while reading them and I managed to have fun reading them while forgetting my twisted encounter.

...until now.

p.s. I still see him time to time in this neighbourhood and visit that comics shop, but like I said that won't be happening for much longer. I'll miss the owner a little bit, we chatted like normal people, but...not the rest.

like god drat I hope someone shoved him in a locker between then and now

# ? Mar 19, 2019 17:51

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Man, a lot of these are supposed to be "funny things that happened at the comics shop" but end up being "lol neeeeeeeerds amirite guys"

quote:

Well, this isn't really that bad of a horror story, and instead is just something made me laugh yesterday.

I was buying Hero Clix with my buddy at a shop we usually never go to (I traded in DnD books for about 40$ worth of Credit and they're the only store that gives a decent amount for DnD books) and there's a kid, probably 10 or 11, who is looking at Magic Cards.

My friend and I are shooting the poo poo with the counter guy and in Jack Black fashion ala High Fidelity, keeps shushing the kid

Me: so xyz lololol
Him: yeah haha abcdefg
Kid: omg I want cards!!
Him: In a minute -- anyway lalalalala

It was hysterical to me because even after we were done talking, there was a long line so the guy had to help the customers actually buying stuff. And the kid just kept mumbling, "I've been waiting here"

In our defense, the kid was amazingly annoying and just...ugh.

"hey guys we were giant assholes to a small child it was JUST LIKE THAT MOVIE :smuggo:

# ? Mar 19, 2019 17:58

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

The only thing worse than nerds is other nerds.

# ? Mar 19, 2019 18:05

The_White_Crane: May 10, 2008

Paladinus posted:

The only thing worse than nerds is other nerds.

Hell is other nerds.

# ? Mar 19, 2019 18:09

Pham Nuwen: Oct 30, 2010

Snow Cone Capone posted:

Some of these are good but holy poo poo I hope in the 14 years since this post, this dude has become slightly less insufferable and smug:

like god drat I hope someone shoved him in a locker between then and now

That user doesn't appear to have posted since 2008, so maybe they got shoved in a locker and never made it out?

# ? Mar 19, 2019 18:19

OldTennisCourt: Sep 11, 2011; by VideoGames

I remember years and years ago that the Let's Play subforum allowed people to do Let's Plays of anime porn games, in fact one dude LPed like 5 of them and each one was pretty popular and shockingly the threads never got brigaded or sent to helldump or whatever.

My question is was there an inciting incident that changed the rules and got all threads like that banned or was it just a case of the subforum being unmodded and no one caring until Lowtax or someone saw and put a stop to it? It's so weird to me that poo poo like that was accepted for any period of time and wasn't squashed immediately.

# ? Mar 19, 2019 18:22

Pham Nuwen: Oct 30, 2010

OldTennisCourt posted:

I remember years and years ago that the Let's Play subforum allowed people to do Let's Plays of anime porn games, in fact one dude LPed like 5 of them and each one was pretty popular and shockingly the threads never got brigaded or sent to helldump or whatever.

My question is was there an inciting incident that changed the rules and got all threads like that banned or was it just a case of the subforum being unmodded and no one caring until Lowtax or someone saw and put a stop to it? It's so weird to me that poo poo like that was accepted for any period of time and wasn't squashed immediately.

Doesn't surprise me considering anime porn game reviews used to be a loving front page feature.

Edit: although the front page ones were ironic, I can't imagine reading an earnest LP of such a thing

# ? Mar 19, 2019 18:39

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

Pham Nuwen posted:

Doesn't surprise me considering anime porn game reviews used to be a loving front page feature.

Edit: although the front page ones were ironic, I can't imagine reading an earnest LP of such a thing

They weren't earnest, they were making fun of the games, but spending that much time on a porn game attracted some real crazy people to the threads.

# ? Mar 19, 2019 18:46

Poops Mcgoots: Jul 12, 2010

The Fate games had porn and now the mobile game based on them is probably the biggest mobile game in the world.

# ? Mar 19, 2019 18:50

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

Poops Mcgoots posted:

The Fate games had porn and now the mobile game based on them is probably the biggest mobile game in the world.

Wasn't there some marketing realization in Japan that no matter what you do if there isn't any porn in the VN game then it sells 10x less then most others?

# ? Mar 19, 2019 19:11

FilthyImp: Sep 30, 2002; Anime Deviant

Probably. We all know the adaptations will just paper over the porn poo poo or get a creepy analogue that isn't porn but just weird. You'de just throwing red meat to the nerds most likely to compulsively buy the game.

Like Saber needing to be "recharged with Mana" in the original Fate anime.

# ? Mar 19, 2019 19:15

sunken fleet: Apr 25, 2010; dreams of an unchanging future,
a today like yesterday,
a tomorrow like today.; Fallen Rib

I don't think there was ever a point where there was a hard banning of those types of "porn games" in the LP forum though? Occasionally a particularly scummy one would get gassed (maybe?) but ehh I can't remember any specifically. I know there were some full LPs of visual novels as recently as 2017.

Since it's actually really super easy to edit the porn out of some of those games and upload the remaining 99% of the content as an LP. Though so few goons actually bother to upload dating sims or visual novels as let's plays that I think it's always been a mostly self solving problem? If there was ever any big drama the ended up with a bunch of porny type let's plays banned I'm unaware of it.

# ? Mar 19, 2019 19:30

EmmyOk: Aug 11, 2013

It's actually none of those ones but I do thoroguly enjoy the "last of the gunslingers" brand of posts people have about defeating FREAKJUING epic hambeasts.

here is the one I was thinking of

# ? Mar 19, 2019 19:32

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

pentyne posted:

Wasn't there some marketing realization in Japan that no matter what you do if there isn't any porn in the VN game then it sells 10x less then most others?

I don�t know the latest versions of those games don�t have the porn stuff and as far as I�m aware you have to actively search for older versions with that stuff in it.

# ? Mar 19, 2019 19:43

EmmyOk: Aug 11, 2013

cracking open my hentai warriors alamanc

well uh u see I have been reading here that the economy of huge titties demands them and so if I want to play a good vn then I am bound, sir, bound

# ? Mar 19, 2019 19:54

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# ? May 17, 2024 17:31

oldpainless: Oct 30, 2009; This 📆 post brought to you by RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS👥.
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FactsAreUseless posted:

They weren't earnest, they were making fun of the games, but spending that much time on a porn game attracted some real crazy people to the threads.

Playing a shitload of porno Japanese games ironically

# ? Mar 19, 2019 19:56

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > SA's Greatest Sagas: careful that's a load-bearing slur

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