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(Thread IKs: Josherino)
 
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Moist von Lipwig
Oct 28, 2006

by FactsAreUseless
Tortured By Flan

Presenting Nipples posted:

I’ve suffered off and on with depression for basically my whole life. i grew up with alcoholic parents who both died of alcohol related issues in the past 5 years (I’m 30). When my mom passed a little over a year ago my doctor put me on Wellbutrin, it gave me a huge manic episode.

I then went on Lamictal and it’s been pretty okay. I still struggle with depression and social anxiety but the medication has helped with my panic attacks.

I had therapy for a bit but decided to try swimming and guitar lessons as an alternative. it has been okay but I think I am going to go back into therapy because I still get major depressive episodes.

One book/author/topic that has helped me is self-compassion. If you are hard or self critical, I recommend checking it out. https://self-compassion.org

Wellbutrin alone gave me a rough time, Wellbutrin and Lamictal worked very well together.

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Moist von Lipwig
Oct 28, 2006

by FactsAreUseless
Tortured By Flan

Pretty Little Angel posted:

Hi,

While I no longer have depression, I do have a debilitating mental illness that has to be controlled with medication. I just wanted to say if you do have anxiety/depression, exercise (workouts that get your heart rate up, not just lifting weights) does wonders for mental health. I just did an easy workout that consisted of jogging for 30 minutes. I suggest y'all do the same, if possible.

If you're lifting weights hard enough your heart rate will definitely go up.

Pretty Little Angel
Jun 26, 2006

Moist von Lipwig posted:

If you're lifting weights hard enough your heart rate will definitely go up.

Yes, well, I meant for, at least, a consistent 30 minutes. Lifting weights is stop and go.

Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.

SpiderHyphenMan posted:

Just respect my choice, or at least try to, if I decide I'm done. That's all I want

I can’t make you do anything but I really urge you to seek a therapist. I recommended this thread to you in case you needed help. if you don’t want it or won’t seek it, there’s not much else we can do.

only other thing I ask is not to raise chat over why suicide is worth doing in this thread. I’m reasonably sure you know why.

FormerPoster
Aug 5, 2004

Hair Elf

Chokes McGee posted:

When I talked to my p-doc about it yesterday, she did mention Wellbutrin can cause anxiety spikes. If you're reading this, you have a vitamin D deficiency. Yes, you. You know who you are.

gently caress you, chokes

you forgot about my vitamin b12 deficiency

Moist von Lipwig
Oct 28, 2006

by FactsAreUseless
Tortured By Flan
Oh yeah, doing B12 shots weekly drastically improved my energy levels.

echinopsis
Apr 13, 2004

by Fluffdaddy

Moist von Lipwig posted:

Now if nothing makes you happy, that's anhedonia and is a pretty bad condition that can be helped.

This is what I cycle through. I had a good 2 months at the start of the year where I was good, but then.. bad again.. and hard to predict now how a day is going to go in this regard :/

Moist von Lipwig
Oct 28, 2006

by FactsAreUseless
Tortured By Flan

echinopsis posted:

This is what I cycle through. I had a good 2 months at the start of the year where I was good, but then.. bad again.. and hard to predict now how a day is going to go in this regard :/

if that's on a cycle, like a couple months on, couple off, unrelated to life events, you could have something like cyclothymia.

either way, seeing a therapist has rarely been harmful.

Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.

Nae! posted:

gently caress you, chokes

you forgot about my vitamin b12 deficiency

sorry. sorry I’m trying to edit it

Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.

Moist von Lipwig posted:

if that's on a cycle, like a couple months on, couple off, unrelated to life events, you could have something like cyclothymia.

either way, seeing a licensed therapist has rarely been harmful.

ftfy

Moist von Lipwig
Oct 28, 2006

by FactsAreUseless
Tortured By Flan

Oh right, therapist is a protected title in canadar

echinopsis
Apr 13, 2004

by Fluffdaddy

Moist von Lipwig posted:

if that's on a cycle, like a couple months on, couple off, unrelated to life events, you could have something like cyclothymia.

either way, seeing a therapist has rarely been harmful.

i mean, i go thru periods of both, two months of good was an anomaly, it’s usually a day here of good within a few of bad or vice versus 🤷‍♂️


curious if anyone here has any opinion on pregabalin/gabapentin for brain help

echinopsis
Apr 13, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
i took two tabs on new years and it some how was the thing that fixed my depression for two months, it was like night and day, i felt invincible in the respect of having fought and beaten depression. i met a bunch of real losers that evening and was desperate my kids didn’t turn out like them so was convinced i needed to become the best person to the best role model

but the energy just just died over during week 8. 😔

having type 2 doesn’t help energy and motivation, altho exercise has stabilised that to a degree.. doesn’t help that right now i feel completely beaten at work.. have discovered maybe some kind of “get paid to learn to be a teacher” thing exists which may transform my world

Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.

Moist von Lipwig posted:

Oh right, therapist is a protected title in canadar

sure maybe in the intergalactic wilds of moon land but here in are country we *dies of easily treatable diabetes*

turn off the TV
Aug 4, 2010

moderately annoying

echinopsis posted:

curious if anyone here has any opinion on pregabalin/gabapentin for brain help

I've been taking low dose gabapentin since August 2018 and I felt way more energetic until around October. I've been steadily been returning to my baseline level of fatigue/anhedonia since.

Ugato
Apr 9, 2009

We're not?

SpiderHyphenMan posted:

The day I truly, completely believe that nothing will ever get better is the day I die. I don't understand why this shouldn't be my choice.

better is obviously relative so there’s always a chance things can get better. but the biggest flaw in this thinking is that there’s ever a point where absolutely everything is getting worse. it’s easy to get lost in that thought and have it consume you entirely. and you see all bad poo poo happening around you and not see anything ever improve. the world has gotten dramatically better than it’s ever been. people live longer, survive things we would never imagine surviving, the standard of living for a lot of people is better, etc. Societally we are even more accepting of people who are different or have problems or have just been marginalized their entire lives.

SpiderHyphenMan posted:

Sunk cost fallacy comes to mind. Why keep digging if there's no light at the end of the tunnel anymore?

We’re all destined to die - in an absurdly
short time based on a historical scale. coming to grips with nihilism is a bitch. you have to define for yourself what you’re living for.

I mean hell dude, you have friends that would be sad if you died. If I went home tonight and died, I probably wouldn’t be found for 3 days minimum. I have a job and they would notice me being gone, but that’s about it. they would most likely assume I was sick. after the 3rd day they might contact my emergency contact (my dad) who would actually try to find me. and because of how my life is separated several people who call me friend (I’m a pretty bad friend, so I hesitate to call them “my friends”) likely would take months or years to find out. but even faced with that dark little pit I turned away from killing myself. so I mean I can’t really respect the decision.

I can understand what’s going on in your head. i thought a hell of a lot about how to kill myself. even went so far as to think of some way of doing it so I’d never be found. but ultimately it’s just giving up. it’s not admitting you can’t do anything - it’s saying trying is not worth the effort.

I don’t say any of this to poo poo on you while you’re feeling down. I say this because it’s what I said to me when I was in the same place. And it’s not much easier now. I’m also not some amazing success story because of it but I found something to give a little bit of purpose to my life and that’s all that’s required. I have some good moments and a lot of bad but had I killed myself the first time I really truly considered it I know of at least 2 peoples’ lives that would’ve been a lot worse had I not been around to help them when they needed it. And it does get easier to go on when you see for a fact you can positively impact someone’s life. And if I of all people can positively impact anything, you drat sure can.

I guess I go on to show mostly that I’m not a cheerleader. I know what it’s like to be loving miserable for years - couple decades in my case. But even now still being pretty miserable, I’d gladly suffer through that and more for the friends I’ve helped along the way. Their lives would’ve been a hell of a lot worse than mine is now.

And who knows? maybe that therapy and anti-depressant stuff actually works too

if this post bothers anyone just me know and I’ll take it down

succ
Nov 11, 2016

by Cyrano4747
Gabapentin is used as an alternative to xanax and other benzos. I tried it and it worked for me. Really lowered my anxiety levels and made me more outgoing.

I lost my health insurance and I'm off it now though.

dpf
Sep 17, 2011

Out of interest, has anyone in this thread attempted to undergo analysis? Freudian, Lacanian or otherwise.

AARs appreciated

Goon Danton
May 24, 2012

Don't forget to show my shitposts to the people. They're well worth seeing.

I think I did a UV-vis of myself once by accident. Not very helpful. Lots of carbonyl groups.

Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.

DangerousDan posted:

Out of interest, has anyone in this thread attempted to undergo analysis? Freudian, Lacanian or otherwise.

AARs appreciated

I’m big on Jung and dream interpretation but nothing formal, no. Lacan really fascinates me because his proofs are pseudoscience but things like the Nom du Père really do have significant psychological symbolism.

Poniard
Apr 3, 2011



i love when i have vivid dreams especially when theyre terrifying

i still remember dreams ive had from a decade ago

when i was like 15 i had a dream where i spent a long time finding where my parents lived and then woke up crying because they didnt remember who i was lmao

bean mom
Jan 30, 2009

SpiderHyphenMan posted:

I do. It's hope.
If that goes, I go.

youre gonna die anyway whats the rush?

bean mom
Jan 30, 2009

Moist von Lipwig
Oct 28, 2006

by FactsAreUseless
Tortured By Flan

echinopsis posted:

i mean, i go thru periods of both, two months of good was an anomaly, it’s usually a day here of good within a few of bad or vice versus 🤷‍♂️


curious if anyone here has any opinion on pregabalin/gabapentin for brain help

Both of those have some efficacy in regulating depression in bipolar folks because of the same sodium channel fuckery that makes Lamotrigine a good antidepressant. I don't know about unipolar / standard(?) depression.

Moist von Lipwig
Oct 28, 2006

by FactsAreUseless
Tortured By Flan

echinopsis posted:

This is what I cycle through. I had a good 2 months at the start of the year where I was good, but then.. bad again.. and hard to predict now how a day is going to go in this regard :/

I mean, if psychedelics help you (they hell me too) there's always ~microdosing~. I'm a little skeptical of it but my partner runs the current big study on it at Stanford and she's better at math than I am so I can't really argue with her. The results are pretty drat impressive.

echinopsis
Apr 13, 2004

by Fluffdaddy

lol the thing about living longer bums me out a bit. i’m 37 almost 38, if I had lived 200 years ago I probably would have been dead by now, but, thanks to modern poo poo, i have to tread thru life instead

Moist von Lipwig posted:

I mean, if psychedelics help you (they hell me too) there's always ~microdosing~. I'm a little skeptical of it but my partner runs the current big study on it at Stanford and she's better at math than I am so I can't really argue with her. The results are pretty drat impressive.

I think line of work matters a bit, and my job is 0% creative and 100% about accuracy, I’m guessing would he counter productive but maybe I’m wrong

Moist von Lipwig
Oct 28, 2006

by FactsAreUseless
Tortured By Flan

echinopsis posted:

I think line of work matters a bit, and my job is 0% creative and 100% about accuracy, I’m guessing would he counter productive but maybe I’m wrong

nah, we're talking across the board improvement in standard depression scale in most people. I can get into the pharmacological stuff if you want but long story short: serotonin has a ton of downstream stuff, including BDNF which governs neuroplasticity and has huge importance in emerging models of depression.

echinopsis
Apr 13, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
not sure if you’re addressing what i’m talking about but my readings on microdosing sounds like it’s be counterproductive for people who need to be accurate at their job

then again, I had the “idea” for microdosing years ago but mine was to take imperceptible doses, not barely/mildly perceptible doses, which probably makes significant differences as far as being able to get thru the day

Shifty Nipples
Apr 8, 2007

a reason to live is that there is nothing else to do, and decomposing doesn't count as an alternate thing to do. being alive is a perpetual struggle against entropy and that is good enough for me. because nothing escapes entropy.

limp dick calvin
Sep 1, 2006

Strepitoso. Vedete? Una meraviglia.
does anyone have advice on getting new hobbies? I've basically been drinking myself to death for the last few years and as a result have no friends outside of the bar. I want and need to quit drinking but it's so easy to keep doing it.

Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.

Shifty Nipples posted:

a reason to live is that there is nothing else to do, and decomposing doesn't count as an alternate thing to do.

what yes it is slowly detuning your instrument as you play is fringe as heck

Consummate Professional posted:

does anyone have advice on getting new hobbies? I've basically been drinking myself to death for the last few years and as a result have no friends outside of the bar. I want and need to quit drinking but it's so easy to keep doing it.

what do you like to do? Like, not activity wise necessary, but what brings you joy other than drinking? Do you like puzzles? Working things with your hands? You can start to narrow it down but for most hobbies you'll just have to get out there and keep trying them until one of them sticks.

Personally, I like writing, weaving, coloring, and martial arts. I'm going to try to get into taekwondo, I don't think I can do aikido any more now that they've banished Ikeda-Shihan to the wilds.

Keep in mind that curiosity is an antidote to anxiety. Even trying a hobby and failing still has a notable effect. Just don't get too down on yourself if you don't like the stuff you pick up, keep trying!

limp dick calvin
Sep 1, 2006

Strepitoso. Vedete? Una meraviglia.

Chokes McGee posted:


what do you like to do? Like, not activity wise necessary, but what brings you joy other than drinking? Do you like puzzles? Working things with your hands? You can start to narrow it down but for most hobbies you'll just have to get out there and keep trying them until one of them sticks.

Personally, I like writing, weaving, coloring, and martial arts. I'm going to try to get into taekwondo, I don't think I can do aikido any more now that they've banished Ikeda-Shihan to the wilds.

Keep in mind that curiosity is an antidote to anxiety. Even trying a hobby and failing still has a notable effect. Just don't get too down on yourself if you don't like the stuff you pick up, keep trying!

thanks for talking to me and asking some good questions. I've really lost "liking" things as I've just stayed drunk all the time. I guess I like to solve problems so puzzles may be something I haven't considered. legos are kinda fun but annoy me a lot during the process.

I've thought about doing some BJJ classes because I've gotten gross and fat and it seems fun and useful. I don't know, I just feel like my personality has been destroyed by myself if that makes any sense

Ugato
Apr 9, 2009

We're not?

echinopsis posted:

lol the thing about living longer bums me out a bit. i’m 37 almost 38, if I had lived 200 years ago I probably would have been dead by now, but, thanks to modern poo poo, i have to tread thru life instead

I get that :respek:

Consummate Professional posted:

does anyone have advice on getting new hobbies? I've basically been drinking myself to death for the last few years and as a result have no friends outside of the bar. I want and need to quit drinking but it's so easy to keep doing it.

Consummate Professional posted:

thanks for talking to me and asking some good questions. I've really lost "liking" things as I've just stayed drunk all the time. I guess I like to solve problems so puzzles may be something I haven't considered. legos are kinda fun but annoy me a lot during the process.

I've thought about doing some BJJ classes because I've gotten gross and fat and it seems fun and useful. I don't know, I just feel like my personality has been destroyed by myself if that makes any sense
you might like board games or d&d type stuff - it’s along the lines of puzzles and usually relatively easy to find a group near you to join and play with. board game geeks are pretty inclusive of anyone that wants to play and generally it’s a good social hobby because people don’t pry very much - they’re usually concentrating on the game. so if you don’t want to talk about poo poo bothering you you don’t have to.

and yes that makes sense. I feel like that all the time. Like I’m slowly getting less and less likeable as time goes on and I get more misanthropic

FormerPoster
Aug 5, 2004

Hair Elf

Consummate Professional posted:

thanks for talking to me and asking some good questions. I've really lost "liking" things as I've just stayed drunk all the time. I guess I like to solve problems so puzzles may be something I haven't considered. legos are kinda fun but annoy me a lot during the process.

I've thought about doing some BJJ classes because I've gotten gross and fat and it seems fun and useful. I don't know, I just feel like my personality has been destroyed by myself if that makes any sense

What did you like/wish you knew how to do when you were a kid? I'm realizing now in my thirties that I can actually accomplish some of the things I'd previously written off as 'things only other people can do', like baking/gardening/writing books/learning spanish. I'd always thought all of those things were really neat as a kid, but in my twenties I hit the wall of thinking the best I can do is work until I die. Once I got old enough to realize OOPS, I'm gonna die eventually no matter what, I figured I might as well dig through the well of things I once thought impossible.

Don't be discouraged if your childhood dream was to be an astronaut or something, either. Yeah, you're not gonna become an astronaut, but you have the whole internet in front of you and you can learn absolutely everything there is to know about space for free. You can learn drat near anything you want for free! So what do you want to learn?

got any sevens
Feb 9, 2013

by Cyrano4747
sit on a beach and whittle whilst staring at sunsets
just dont cut yourself

Smirking_Serpent
Aug 27, 2009

Ugato posted:


you might like board games or d&d type stuff - it’s along the lines of puzzles and usually relatively easy to find a group near you to join and play with. board game geeks are pretty inclusive of anyone that wants to play and generally it’s a good social hobby because people don’t pry very much - they’re usually concentrating on the game. so if you don’t want to talk about poo poo bothering you you don’t have to.


how do people find D&D stuff? do you typically know the people beforehand or go to game stores or what?

got any sevens
Feb 9, 2013

by Cyrano4747
one crazy thing that always triggers me is kids with these swiss cheese jeans. i want to ask them if they were in a fight or something

Ugato
Apr 9, 2009

We're not?

Smirking_Serpent posted:

how do people find D&D stuff? do you typically know the people beforehand or go to game stores or what?

It depends on the area but places like meetup.com usually have a group of people who do that sort of thing. Any local game store that sells the books and actually hosts d&d events would be a good starting place too. Local Cons a lot of times are potentially good places to find people to play with.

Wizards of the Coast even has a store locator where you can look for any stores that sell wotc merchandise - http://locator.wizards.com/

You’ll get a lot more results on there than there are full fledged game stores as a lot of places just carry magic cards to be able to sell them randomly. But it’s a good place to start at least.

In my case I just know like half the people in my area who do board games/card games/p&p rpgs/larping/whtaever else you can think of. But probably 15 years ago I didn’t know anybody. All started out by being interested and going to a local game shop where people played.

echinopsis
Apr 13, 2004

by Fluffdaddy

Consummate Professional posted:

does anyone have advice on getting new hobbies? I've basically been drinking myself to death for the last few years and as a result have no friends outside of the bar. I want and need to quit drinking but it's so easy to keep doing it.

i’ve enjoyed computer graphics, making video game, playing video game, learning computer language, going to comedy show, and also drinking and drugs

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echinopsis
Apr 13, 2004

by Fluffdaddy

got any sevens posted:

one crazy thing that always triggers me is kids with these swiss cheese jeans. i want to ask them if they were in a fight or something

kids just wanna show off they skin let them get away with it grandpa

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