(Thread IKs:
Josherino)
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Presenting Nipples posted:I’ve suffered off and on with depression for basically my whole life. i grew up with alcoholic parents who both died of alcohol related issues in the past 5 years (I’m 30). When my mom passed a little over a year ago my doctor put me on Wellbutrin, it gave me a huge manic episode. Wellbutrin alone gave me a rough time, Wellbutrin and Lamictal worked very well together.
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Mar 19, 2019 18:03
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Pretty Little Angel posted:Hi, If you're lifting weights hard enough your heart rate will definitely go up.
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Mar 19, 2019 18:05
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Moist von Lipwig posted:If you're lifting weights hard enough your heart rate will definitely go up. Yes, well, I meant for, at least, a consistent 30 minutes. Lifting weights is stop and go.
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Mar 19, 2019 18:07
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SpiderHyphenMan posted:Just respect my choice, or at least try to, if I decide I'm done. That's all I want I can’t make you do anything but I really urge you to seek a therapist. I recommended this thread to you in case you needed help. if you don’t want it or won’t seek it, there’s not much else we can do. only other thing I ask is not to raise chat over why suicide is worth doing in this thread. I’m reasonably sure you know why.
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Mar 19, 2019 18:09
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Chokes McGee posted:When I talked to my p-doc about it yesterday, she did mention Wellbutrin can cause anxiety spikes. If you're reading this, you have a vitamin D deficiency. Yes, you. You know who you are. gently caress you, chokes you forgot about my vitamin b12 deficiency
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Mar 19, 2019 18:15
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Oh yeah, doing B12 shots weekly drastically improved my energy levels.
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Mar 19, 2019 18:27
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Moist von Lipwig posted:Now if nothing makes you happy, that's anhedonia and is a pretty bad condition that can be helped. This is what I cycle through. I had a good 2 months at the start of the year where I was good, but then.. bad again.. and hard to predict now how a day is going to go in this regard :/
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Mar 19, 2019 18:33
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echinopsis posted:This is what I cycle through. I had a good 2 months at the start of the year where I was good, but then.. bad again.. and hard to predict now how a day is going to go in this regard :/ if that's on a cycle, like a couple months on, couple off, unrelated to life events, you could have something like cyclothymia. either way, seeing a therapist has rarely been harmful.
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Mar 19, 2019 19:04
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Nae! posted:gently caress you, chokes sorry. sorry I’m trying to edit it
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Mar 19, 2019 19:27
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Moist von Lipwig posted:if that's on a cycle, like a couple months on, couple off, unrelated to life events, you could have something like cyclothymia. ftfy
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Mar 19, 2019 19:30
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Chokes McGee posted:ftfy Oh right, therapist is a protected title in canadar
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Mar 19, 2019 19:37
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Moist von Lipwig posted:if that's on a cycle, like a couple months on, couple off, unrelated to life events, you could have something like cyclothymia. i mean, i go thru periods of both, two months of good was an anomaly, it’s usually a day here of good within a few of bad or vice versus 🤷♂️ curious if anyone here has any opinion on pregabalin/gabapentin for brain help
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Mar 19, 2019 19:52
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i took two tabs on new years and it some how was the thing that fixed my depression for two months, it was like night and day, i felt invincible in the respect of having fought and beaten depression. i met a bunch of real losers that evening and was desperate my kids didn’t turn out like them so was convinced i needed to become the best person to the best role model but the energy just just died over during week 8. 😔 having type 2 doesn’t help energy and motivation, altho exercise has stabilised that to a degree.. doesn’t help that right now i feel completely beaten at work.. have discovered maybe some kind of “get paid to learn to be a teacher” thing exists which may transform my world
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Mar 19, 2019 19:57
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Moist von Lipwig posted:Oh right, therapist is a protected title in canadar sure maybe in the intergalactic wilds of moon land but here in are country we *dies of easily treatable diabetes*
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Mar 19, 2019 20:19
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echinopsis posted:curious if anyone here has any opinion on pregabalin/gabapentin for brain help I've been taking low dose gabapentin since August 2018 and I felt way more energetic until around October. I've been steadily been returning to my baseline level of fatigue/anhedonia since.
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Mar 19, 2019 20:26
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SpiderHyphenMan posted:The day I truly, completely believe that nothing will ever get better is the day I die. I don't understand why this shouldn't be my choice. better is obviously relative so there’s always a chance things can get better. but the biggest flaw in this thinking is that there’s ever a point where absolutely everything is getting worse. it’s easy to get lost in that thought and have it consume you entirely. and you see all bad poo poo happening around you and not see anything ever improve. the world has gotten dramatically better than it’s ever been. people live longer, survive things we would never imagine surviving, the standard of living for a lot of people is better, etc. Societally we are even more accepting of people who are different or have problems or have just been marginalized their entire lives. SpiderHyphenMan posted:Sunk cost fallacy comes to mind. Why keep digging if there's no light at the end of the tunnel anymore? We’re all destined to die - in an absurdly short time based on a historical scale. coming to grips with nihilism is a bitch. you have to define for yourself what you’re living for. I mean hell dude, you have friends that would be sad if you died. If I went home tonight and died, I probably wouldn’t be found for 3 days minimum. I have a job and they would notice me being gone, but that’s about it. they would most likely assume I was sick. after the 3rd day they might contact my emergency contact (my dad) who would actually try to find me. and because of how my life is separated several people who call me friend (I’m a pretty bad friend, so I hesitate to call them “my friends”) likely would take months or years to find out. but even faced with that dark little pit I turned away from killing myself. so I mean I can’t really respect the decision. I can understand what’s going on in your head. i thought a hell of a lot about how to kill myself. even went so far as to think of some way of doing it so I’d never be found. but ultimately it’s just giving up. it’s not admitting you can’t do anything - it’s saying trying is not worth the effort. I don’t say any of this to poo poo on you while you’re feeling down. I say this because it’s what I said to me when I was in the same place. And it’s not much easier now. I’m also not some amazing success story because of it but I found something to give a little bit of purpose to my life and that’s all that’s required. I have some good moments and a lot of bad but had I killed myself the first time I really truly considered it I know of at least 2 peoples’ lives that would’ve been a lot worse had I not been around to help them when they needed it. And it does get easier to go on when you see for a fact you can positively impact someone’s life. And if I of all people can positively impact anything, you drat sure can. I guess I go on to show mostly that I’m not a cheerleader. I know what it’s like to be loving miserable for years - couple decades in my case. But even now still being pretty miserable, I’d gladly suffer through that and more for the friends I’ve helped along the way. Their lives would’ve been a hell of a lot worse than mine is now. And who knows? maybe that therapy and anti-depressant stuff actually works too if this post bothers anyone just me know and I’ll take it down
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Mar 19, 2019 20:28
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Gabapentin is used as an alternative to xanax and other benzos. I tried it and it worked for me. Really lowered my anxiety levels and made me more outgoing. I lost my health insurance and I'm off it now though.
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Mar 19, 2019 20:43
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Out of interest, has anyone in this thread attempted to undergo analysis? Freudian, Lacanian or otherwise. AARs appreciated
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Mar 19, 2019 22:06
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I think I did a UV-vis of myself once by accident. Not very helpful. Lots of carbonyl groups.
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Mar 19, 2019 22:18
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DangerousDan posted:Out of interest, has anyone in this thread attempted to undergo analysis? Freudian, Lacanian or otherwise. I’m big on Jung and dream interpretation but nothing formal, no. Lacan really fascinates me because his proofs are pseudoscience but things like the Nom du Père really do have significant psychological symbolism.
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Mar 19, 2019 22:27
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i love when i have vivid dreams especially when theyre terrifying i still remember dreams ive had from a decade ago when i was like 15 i had a dream where i spent a long time finding where my parents lived and then woke up crying because they didnt remember who i was lmao
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Mar 19, 2019 22:46
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SpiderHyphenMan posted:I do. It's hope. youre gonna die anyway whats the rush?
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Mar 19, 2019 23:08
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Mar 19, 2019 23:15
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echinopsis posted:i mean, i go thru periods of both, two months of good was an anomaly, it’s usually a day here of good within a few of bad or vice versus 🤷♂️ Both of those have some efficacy in regulating depression in bipolar folks because of the same sodium channel fuckery that makes Lamotrigine a good antidepressant. I don't know about unipolar / standard(?) depression.
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Mar 19, 2019 23:59
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echinopsis posted:This is what I cycle through. I had a good 2 months at the start of the year where I was good, but then.. bad again.. and hard to predict now how a day is going to go in this regard :/ I mean, if psychedelics help you (they hell me too) there's always ~microdosing~. I'm a little skeptical of it but my partner runs the current big study on it at Stanford and she's better at math than I am so I can't really argue with her. The results are pretty drat impressive.
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Mar 20, 2019 00:03
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lol the thing about living longer bums me out a bit. i’m 37 almost 38, if I had lived 200 years ago I probably would have been dead by now, but, thanks to modern poo poo, i have to tread thru life instead Moist von Lipwig posted:I mean, if psychedelics help you (they hell me too) there's always ~microdosing~. I'm a little skeptical of it but my partner runs the current big study on it at Stanford and she's better at math than I am so I can't really argue with her. The results are pretty drat impressive. I think line of work matters a bit, and my job is 0% creative and 100% about accuracy, I’m guessing would he counter productive but maybe I’m wrong
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Mar 20, 2019 00:31
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echinopsis posted:I think line of work matters a bit, and my job is 0% creative and 100% about accuracy, I’m guessing would he counter productive but maybe I’m wrong nah, we're talking across the board improvement in standard depression scale in most people. I can get into the pharmacological stuff if you want but long story short: serotonin has a ton of downstream stuff, including BDNF which governs neuroplasticity and has huge importance in emerging models of depression.
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Mar 20, 2019 00:55
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not sure if you’re addressing what i’m talking about but my readings on microdosing sounds like it’s be counterproductive for people who need to be accurate at their job then again, I had the “idea” for microdosing years ago but mine was to take imperceptible doses, not barely/mildly perceptible doses, which probably makes significant differences as far as being able to get thru the day
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Mar 20, 2019 01:01
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a reason to live is that there is nothing else to do, and decomposing doesn't count as an alternate thing to do. being alive is a perpetual struggle against entropy and that is good enough for me. because nothing escapes entropy.
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Mar 20, 2019 02:12
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does anyone have advice on getting new hobbies? I've basically been drinking myself to death for the last few years and as a result have no friends outside of the bar. I want and need to quit drinking but it's so easy to keep doing it.
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Mar 20, 2019 03:47
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Shifty Nipples posted:a reason to live is that there is nothing else to do, and decomposing doesn't count as an alternate thing to do. what yes it is slowly detuning your instrument as you play is fringe as heck Consummate Professional posted:does anyone have advice on getting new hobbies? I've basically been drinking myself to death for the last few years and as a result have no friends outside of the bar. I want and need to quit drinking but it's so easy to keep doing it. what do you like to do? Like, not activity wise necessary, but what brings you joy other than drinking? Do you like puzzles? Working things with your hands? You can start to narrow it down but for most hobbies you'll just have to get out there and keep trying them until one of them sticks. Personally, I like writing, weaving, coloring, and martial arts. I'm going to try to get into taekwondo, I don't think I can do aikido any more now that they've banished Ikeda-Shihan to the wilds. Keep in mind that curiosity is an antidote to anxiety. Even trying a hobby and failing still has a notable effect. Just don't get too down on yourself if you don't like the stuff you pick up, keep trying!
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Mar 20, 2019 03:51
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Chokes McGee posted:
thanks for talking to me and asking some good questions. I've really lost "liking" things as I've just stayed drunk all the time. I guess I like to solve problems so puzzles may be something I haven't considered. legos are kinda fun but annoy me a lot during the process. I've thought about doing some BJJ classes because I've gotten gross and fat and it seems fun and useful. I don't know, I just feel like my personality has been destroyed by myself if that makes any sense
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Mar 20, 2019 04:09
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echinopsis posted:lol the thing about living longer bums me out a bit. i’m 37 almost 38, if I had lived 200 years ago I probably would have been dead by now, but, thanks to modern poo poo, i have to tread thru life instead I get that  Consummate Professional posted:does anyone have advice on getting new hobbies? I've basically been drinking myself to death for the last few years and as a result have no friends outside of the bar. I want and need to quit drinking but it's so easy to keep doing it. Consummate Professional posted:thanks for talking to me and asking some good questions. I've really lost "liking" things as I've just stayed drunk all the time. I guess I like to solve problems so puzzles may be something I haven't considered. legos are kinda fun but annoy me a lot during the process. and yes that makes sense. I feel like that all the time. Like I’m slowly getting less and less likeable as time goes on and I get more misanthropic
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Mar 20, 2019 04:31
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Consummate Professional posted:thanks for talking to me and asking some good questions. I've really lost "liking" things as I've just stayed drunk all the time. I guess I like to solve problems so puzzles may be something I haven't considered. legos are kinda fun but annoy me a lot during the process. What did you like/wish you knew how to do when you were a kid? I'm realizing now in my thirties that I can actually accomplish some of the things I'd previously written off as 'things only other people can do', like baking/gardening/writing books/learning spanish. I'd always thought all of those things were really neat as a kid, but in my twenties I hit the wall of thinking the best I can do is work until I die. Once I got old enough to realize OOPS, I'm gonna die eventually no matter what, I figured I might as well dig through the well of things I once thought impossible. Don't be discouraged if your childhood dream was to be an astronaut or something, either. Yeah, you're not gonna become an astronaut, but you have the whole internet in front of you and you can learn absolutely everything there is to know about space for free. You can learn drat near anything you want for free! So what do you want to learn?
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Mar 20, 2019 04:42
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sit on a beach and whittle whilst staring at sunsets just dont cut yourself
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Mar 20, 2019 05:15
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Ugato posted:
how do people find D&D stuff? do you typically know the people beforehand or go to game stores or what?
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Mar 20, 2019 05:29
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one crazy thing that always triggers me is kids with these swiss cheese jeans. i want to ask them if they were in a fight or something
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Mar 20, 2019 05:31
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Smirking_Serpent posted:how do people find D&D stuff? do you typically know the people beforehand or go to game stores or what? It depends on the area but places like meetup.com usually have a group of people who do that sort of thing. Any local game store that sells the books and actually hosts d&d events would be a good starting place too. Local Cons a lot of times are potentially good places to find people to play with. Wizards of the Coast even has a store locator where you can look for any stores that sell wotc merchandise - http://locator.wizards.com/ You’ll get a lot more results on there than there are full fledged game stores as a lot of places just carry magic cards to be able to sell them randomly. But it’s a good place to start at least. In my case I just know like half the people in my area who do board games/card games/p&p rpgs/larping/whtaever else you can think of. But probably 15 years ago I didn’t know anybody. All started out by being interested and going to a local game shop where people played.
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Mar 20, 2019 06:50
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Consummate Professional posted:does anyone have advice on getting new hobbies? I've basically been drinking myself to death for the last few years and as a result have no friends outside of the bar. I want and need to quit drinking but it's so easy to keep doing it. i’ve enjoyed computer graphics, making video game, playing video game, learning computer language, going to comedy show, and also drinking and drugs
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Mar 20, 2019 07:13
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got any sevens posted:one crazy thing that always triggers me is kids with these swiss cheese jeans. i want to ask them if they were in a fight or something kids just wanna show off they skin let them get away with it grandpa
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Mar 20, 2019 07:14
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