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Jim's smugness gives Dwight cancer. Then Pam comes over and Dwight gets AIDs from her smugness. Dwight dies.
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Mar 21, 2019 14:44
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| # ? May 29, 2024 02:53 |
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Jim encourages Dwight to make a funny post on a dying internet forum. Dwight tries his hardest and types up a funny story, only to lose it because the forums crash when he tries to submit it. Jim smirks.
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Mar 21, 2019 14:49
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Jim does a full days work.
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Mar 21, 2019 14:54
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Jim invites Dwight over to his house for a dinner party. When Dwight gets there he's disturbed to find someone who looks exactly lie himself, wearing a tuxedo, and apparently acting as Jim's butler. Looking closer, Dwight notices the obvious scars of a lobotomy - just what the hell has Jim done now? "Oh, I noticed you admiring my manservant. Pam and I decided to get one to help with the kids. Weird, now I'm noticing how much he looks like you!" Disturbed, Dwight is led to the dining room by Jim. Everything seems normal, the food smells good and Jim's butler is setting the table for everyone. But then Dwight realizes that Pam and the kids are nowhere to be seen. Jim sits down on the table and starts drinking a glass of wine. He finishes it in 2 large gulps, then yells for his butler to bring more. Jim finishes 4 more glasses in this same way, then lets out a powerful belch. Dwight hears movement in the kitchen and is comforted by it - at least somebody else is here. It must be Pam, or maybe one of the kids. The kitchen door opens and Michael Scott walks out, looking like he's in a daze. Dwight is overjoyed to see his friend - but doesn't he live in Colorado with his wife and kids? What is he doing here? And why does he look so confused? Then he answers his own question when he notices those tell-tale lobotomy scars. Dwight gets up to run but it's too late, Jim is standing behind him and Dwight feels something poking into his back. Something cold and metal. "Sit down DWIGHT, sit the gently caress down and enjoy a meal with my family. Michael - can you grab Pam and the kids out of the oven? Oh.... whoops - oh it looks like I spoiled the surprise a bit early. That's okay, though, I never was good at keeping secrets!" Dwight is crying now, he knows that he's not leaving this house alive. He begs Jim to let him go, or at least explain what he's doing. "I'm having a dinner party with my best friends. Can I get you a glass of wine? It's an amazing vintage Kevin." Jim begins laughing maniacally as Dwight makes eye contact with the butler. The butler begins to cry.
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Mar 21, 2019 15:35
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Jim offers to blow Dwight but literally blows down his peehole rupturing his balls and making him infertile. Jim vomits into Dwights open mouth.
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Mar 21, 2019 15:36
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The entire plot description of Sleuth(1972) except I replaced the characters of Laurence Olivier and Michael Cain with Dwight and Jim, respectively.
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Mar 21, 2019 15:53
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Jim learns black magic and uses it to turn Dwight into a vibrator. He places the vibrator on Angela's desk with a note that says "From Dwight", winks at the camera, and leaves. Angela is disgusted by the vibrator and throws it in the trash and walks away. Unfortunately, Meredith fishes the vibrator out of the trash and decides to take it home. Jim makes an "oh poo poo" face to the camera and turns away slowly.
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Mar 21, 2019 22:17
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Jim calls the producers of the Battlestar Galactica remake and convinces them to screw up the plot big time so that Dwight will be frustrated.
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Mar 21, 2019 22:49
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Jim gets Angela to suck dwights dick under his desk, but swaps places with Jim, shortly before he shoots a load. Then when dwight leans back to look at his mess, Jim spits it in his face.
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Mar 22, 2019 00:06
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Tato posted:Jim encourages Dwight to make a funny post on a dying internet forum. Dwight tries his hardest and types up a funny story, only to lose it because the forums crash when he tries to submit it. Jim smirks. That would never happen! The app just updated! *mugs at camera*
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Mar 22, 2019 00:51
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Jim summons Pash'buzu, the World Eater, who engulfs all of earth in eternal darkness. But he has hid all of Dwight's candles XD
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Mar 22, 2019 04:15
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Jim blasts Dwight with low-frequency soundwaves that cause Dwight and everyone in the office including Jim to poo poo themselves.
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Mar 22, 2019 05:55
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Inspired by a south park episode Jim kills Dwights parents and feeds them to him in a bowl of chili. In a surprise twist Dwight reveals he never got along with his parents and finishes the bowl. Jim goes to jail where he is passed around by all the inmates and Dwight smirks at the camera
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Mar 22, 2019 06:09
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Honestly, there's nothing funnier in this lovely series other than letting everyone know that dwight and pam were for sure not best friends. Pam hated and lothed Dwight and the hate would increase when she hated dwight more, which meant her hatred would increase when jim went after other women hardcore.
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Mar 22, 2019 09:38
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i never watched the show, was there ever a 'devil's triangle' type situation amongst them?
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Mar 22, 2019 12:57
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Dwight is about to eat a beet sandwich for lunch. Jim uses his time machine to travel back in time and make billions of tiny alterations to the timeline. Dwight's beet sandwich is replaced with a cheese sandwich right as Dwight bites into it. "Bleh... I thought I packed a beet sandwich today.... why would I pack a cheese sandwich?" Jim smiles at the camera. In the background, Meredith has been replaced by a 7 foot tall crow with glowing green eyes.
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Mar 22, 2019 13:21
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- Jim travels back in time and undergoes gender identity surgery. Many years later begins working as a receptionist for Dunder-Mifflin and is now known as "Pam". Her prank was to catfish Dwight, but falls madly in love with herself instead. (In a very special episode directed by M Night Shalaman.)
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Mar 22, 2019 14:36
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Jim's non-stop pranks finally force Dwight to kill him. But it's what he wanted all along, so Jim laughs wildly as he dies, knowing that he finally won.
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Mar 22, 2019 15:10
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Jim becomes an advisor to the UN and intentionally sabotages several key treaties in order to lead the world into World War 3. Dwight volunteers but is disqualified as someone wrote "has paranoid fantasies of being pranked by Jim Halpert" on his medical evaluation. It was Jim. He mugs for the camera while Dwight sits in the office and nuclear bombs destroy the American Midwest.
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Mar 22, 2019 15:15
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Testikles posted:This was related to me by Ibn Battuta who travelled the world including Egypt. He learned of the story of Dwayt al-Shrood, an Egyptian who lived in the town of Al-Skrantaan which was famed for its paper. Dwayt al-Shrood was a paper merchant 
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Mar 22, 2019 15:20
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After months of slipping him drugs and secret subliminal messages, Jim convinces Dwight that Dwight is possessed by a demon and then he beats Dwight to death with a baseball bat.
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Mar 22, 2019 15:24
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fdjkbnadjnbkjldaf posted:Honestly, there's nothing funnier in this lovely series other than letting everyone know that dwight and pam were for sure not best friends. Pam hated and lothed Dwight and the hate would increase when she hated dwight more, which meant her hatred would increase when jim went after other women hardcore. this is the second time you've posted this in this thread so i'm gonna have to stop you pam and dwight were totally friends since like late season 1 when she helped him date angela, and then later when he has trouble with her there's an entire joke that pam isn't around (she's broke in new york) so he has to harangue phyllis for help instead pam is genuinely sweet and helpful to dwight from the start but doesn't acknowledge or realize it until dwight gets his concussion she goes out of her way to try to comfort him and gives him a stellar review on his agri-B&B she's the one that convinces Jim to wrestle him in the hallway to stop him from going into the meeting where he'd get fired, making todd packer take the fall instead pam and dwight might have the only semi-real friendship on the show
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Mar 22, 2019 15:26
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food court bailiff posted:this is the second time you've posted this in this thread so i'm gonna have to stop you And then she and Jim take turns taking steaming dooks on Dwight's desk. She's no his friend, she's a sociopath that occasionally uses kindness to get Dwight to lower his guard enough for Jim to dunk on him extra good.
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Mar 22, 2019 15:32
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food court bailiff posted:this is the second time you've posted this in this thread so i'm gonna have to stop you One of my absolute favorite episodes is The Injury, partly because their interactions are so great.
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Mar 22, 2019 16:43
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https://i.imgur.com/ydzT9IL.mp4
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Mar 22, 2019 17:17
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JIM!!!!! 
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Mar 22, 2019 17:46
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At a horribly misplanned corporate fundraising garage sale event, Dwight uses his keen Schrute bartering skills to trade a single, simple thumbtack into increasingly expensive items, culminating in a rather impressive, expensive telescope. Jim, through his antics, convinces Dwight that the most valuable item in the sale are a bag of five magic beans, and Dwight trades his hard-won telescope for them. As soon as he plants and waters the Miracle Legumes, Jim sneaks out and replaces their five pots with five full-grown plants in identical plots. The planning took days. The plants alone cost $30 each. Then there were the countless hours of stalking, necessary to ensure the correct type of replacement pots, and the shadowing to ensure they could be swapped out immediately after the first watering. All told, from idea to execution, this prank cost Jim over $150 and a week of his free time. But it was worth it. At last, his dastardly plan to give his coworker a bunch of houseplants in a convoluted way at personal expense to himself was complete. He had no way to anticipate the telescope, that was only a bonus. But it doesn't matter now. He can't see the stars anymore. Only Dwight.
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Mar 22, 2019 17:58
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Jim crucifies Dwight as a prank, but it backfires when the people of Scranton accept Dwight as The Messiah.
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Mar 22, 2019 22:51
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Jim swaps the Coke and Diet Coke in the machine. Dwight buys a Diet thinking its normal Coke by accident. He does not mind. Pam snickers in the background.
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Mar 22, 2019 23:31
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Jim replaces all of Dwight's beet seeds with marijuana seeds. Dwight can't figure out why kids keep breaking into his fields, and ends up getting arrested for being the biggest illegal marijuana producer in Pennsylvania.
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Mar 22, 2019 23:47
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Pam pranks Angela by loving Dwight.
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Mar 22, 2019 23:48
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jim discovers dwight has severe, undiagnosed encephelatis and spends weeks drugging him, using strobe lights and psychic driving to make him doubt his sanity and eventually convince him and the rest of the office that he is the scranton strangler
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Mar 22, 2019 23:58
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Jim replaces Dwight's lunch with a poo poo sandwich. A sandwich made of rear end and poo.
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Mar 23, 2019 06:16
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Jim masturbates and cums in full view of Dwight. Dwight is now gay.
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Mar 23, 2019 10:00
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Who What Now posted:And then she and Jim take turns taking steaming dooks on Dwight's desk. She's no his friend, she's a sociopath that occasionally uses kindness to get Dwight to lower his guard enough for Jim to dunk on him extra good. I want to say Pam's participation in mean-spirited poo poo vs Dwight really slowed down in Season 8 and they hung out a lot/had interactions that made me think they were friends, but only in the weird way that one can be friends with Dwight. My favorite example is when Pam calls Dwight and asks him to bring some things back to the office for her. He says something sarcastic. She says "okay so are you gonna get me-" and he interrupts her like OF COURSE im gonna get you those things PAM, GOD and hangs up her while she's mid-sentence. She just stops talking, sets the phone down, and goes back to work with the indication that she completely understands this is how her friendship with Dwight works. It's weird but endearing in the way that a show that is extremely unrealistic about relationships is allowed to be. Jim also gets closer to Dwight. We mostly see them at odds but there's an episode where they're walking back to the office from lunch and having a casual chat, indicating they do it often and can have normal conversations with each other. Yes lots of people on the show are psychopathic but you know, you either have sane characters in a crazy world or crazy characters in a sane world, and the office's reality is fairly grounded. My girlfriend and I are the annoying people who chain watch The Office in the background, and we've enjoyed this thread like bonkers
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Mar 24, 2019 01:50
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I also like that when we see Jim and Dwight team up, they are a really good and effective sales team
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Mar 24, 2019 07:23
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SweetMercifulCrap! posted:I also like that when we see Jim and Dwight team up, they are a really good and effective sales team No kidding. The scene where Dwight borrows the guy's phone during the sales pitch is great.
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Mar 25, 2019 00:03
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Jim tricks Dwight into posting in this thread e: looks like he got me too
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Mar 25, 2019 00:11
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Jim breaks in to Dwight's house every night for two consecutive weeks to put five nickels, and then five more every night, into Dwight's fleshlight. The last night, he removes the dried-semen coated and corroded mass of metal. Jim ponders the sacrifice, but considers the outcome. The next evening, Dwight thrusts the now, near-weightless fleshlight onto his erect phallus with such force, he tears his penis and crushes his right testicle. Jim smiles and turns to the camera from outside the bedroom window where he is stationed in a Hamburglar uniform. The next time Dwight offers to go for coffee, Jim provides Dwight with the corroded mass of nickels as payment. Dwight, bemusedly aroused by the unexpected miasma of the scent of his own semen, eventually goes to the bathroom to masturbate, where he is caught in the act by Creed. Creed advises Dwight that he won't tell anyone if he lets Creed watch him finish. Dwight agrees. Dwight's now mis-shapen cock arouses Creed, who is unfortunately by now unable to maintain an erection, but he does rub his genitals through his adult diaper. Dwight thinks Creed means, from now on, so the next afternoon he gets Creed's attention and nods at the bathroom. Creed hides his excitement and raises his eyebrows. They head to the bathroom and a repeat of the prior day's actions ensue. Jim begins insisting on wearing the Hamburglar costume with Pam during sex. She has to dress up like "Wendy" from the correlative fast food franchise. It's the only way Jim can maintain an erection. He begins placing nickels in everything and forgetting what has nickels and what doesn't. He begins eating and purging nickels. The rest of the season is a menagerie of Jim and Pam's bizarre franchise fast food mascot cosplay sex life, Jim's plutophagosomania, and Dwight and Creed's increasingly more intimate and sadistic afternoon bathroom meetings. Jim and Pam also get a cat and they name her "Nickels". Heliogabalos fucked around with this message at 01:38 on Mar 25, 2019 |
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Mar 25, 2019 01:35
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| # ? May 29, 2024 02:53 |
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- Jim decides to take the ol' "joy buzzer" handshake to the next level. He drills a hole through his hand and feeds a live electrical cable through the opening so the bare wire is just barely protruding from his palm. Dwight and Jim are both electrocuted. Jim's cartoon x-ray skeleton mugs the camera as sparks fly out of his body.
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Mar 25, 2019 02:17
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