/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Sandwich Anarchist posted:

That's pretty great, I guess I assumed that blue collar work like that has been gutted in the US. poo poo man, maybe I need a career change, because busting my rear end running a restaurant is BARELY paying the bills.

My brother is an industrial electrician and he's happy as a pig in poo poo working at a steel mill and the only barrier to his earnings is how much he wants to work. Meanwhile I can't find a competent mechanic who isn't a complete pill head or tweaker. There's lots of work out there if you want it.

# ? Mar 24, 2019 23:53

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# ? May 15, 2024 15:39

Motronic: Nov 6, 2009

Necros posted:

does he work on a pipeline by chance?

Hell no. More like power plant builds and large industrial projects. Not in a ditch with a stick welder.

# ? Mar 24, 2019 23:57

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Geoj posted:

His friend seems to place a lot of stock in academics, so he may not have considered that skills in the tech sector tend to be a lot less rigid. They have to be - if a company wanted the perfect candidate who has X years of experience with every last piece of hardware and software they use they'd never be able to hire anyone.

It really comes down to how much relevant experience do you have and which candidate will take the least amount of time to get up to speed. For example: if he was some kind of cyber intelligence analyst in the military its totally possible he's been working the other side of the fence for the last 4-6 years, which would be an excellent skillset to take into cyber security.

He values skills like "being able to set up your own router", which I think would be the bare minimum for a position in a cybersecurity firm. But maybe not if you're doing nothing technical at all, like if you're a VP or some poo poo

# ? Mar 25, 2019 00:41

Xik: Mar 10, 2011; Dinosaur Gum

LimburgLimbo posted:

Haha he says in the comments his 5k took him 56 minutes, which is about walking pace, and it was �really hard� for him. Definitely smells of bullshit as who could be that dumb but also he�s a mod on reddit so in that sense passes the sniff test?! Hands off to him whatever the case because I am entertained.

Isn't 10 min kilometers day 1 in some beginner program like couch to 5k. Just lol at calling yourself an athlete.

# ? Mar 25, 2019 00:58

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

5km/h is a walking pace and essentially anyone who isn't bedridden should be able to keep it up for at least a couple of hours.

# ? Mar 25, 2019 01:04

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

LOL that 5K marathon man also claims to be able to mount a horse without killing it

# ? Mar 25, 2019 01:05

hevnz 2 murgatroyd: Apr 13, 2018; by Smythe

5k guy owns and I hope he keeps pissing off marathon people because they�re insufferable.

# ? Mar 25, 2019 01:07

Quantum of Phallus: Dec 27, 2010

My massively unfit friend who never ran ten feet in his life was able to do a 5K run in 35 mins

# ? Mar 25, 2019 01:09

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

hevnz 2 murgatroyd posted:

5k guy owns and I hope he keeps pissing off marathon people because they�re insufferable.

but enjoy it while it lasts before heart disease and diabetes puts a stop to it

# ? Mar 25, 2019 01:10

Relin: Oct 6, 2002; You have been a most worthy adversary, but in every game, there are winners and there are losers. And as you know, in this game, losers get robotizicized!

the multitude of threads about women being concerned about their husbands jerking off will never stop being funny to me

# ? Mar 25, 2019 01:13

tehinternet: Feb 14, 2005; Semantically, "you" is both singular and plural, though syntactically it is always plural. It always takes a verb form that originally marked the word as plural.

Also, there is no plural when the context is an argument with an individual rather than a group. Somfin shouldn't put words in my mouth.

Relin posted:

the multitude of threads about women being concerned about their husbands jerking off will never stop being funny to me

Wait really

I mean

... really? In 2019? Really? Holy poo poo.

# ? Mar 25, 2019 01:18

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

tehinternet posted:

Wait really

I mean

... really? In 2019? Really? Holy poo poo.

Dude, we still get abstinence-only sex ed in some places. If you told me a school taught that jerking off would give you hairy palms and blindness, I'd believe it.

# ? Mar 25, 2019 01:23

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

AITA for telling my daughter to give up on her dreams?

quote:

Basically, I am a doctor who graduated from one of the top med schools in the country. Because of this, I know what it takes to make it as a doctor. My eldest daughter is also on a medical track: she goes to a top 20 school and is excelling. She is a junior, and will probably get into one of the best med schools next year.

My youngest daughter is not like us. For my eldest daughter and I, math and science come more naturally. It�s not something we need to work hard at. My youngest daughter, however, really struggles with these topics. In college, she has to study for her STEM classes for hours and hours just to get the average grade at a school that�s not very difficult.

My daughter, to her credit, is a VERY hard worker and I admire that. However, that hard work could be placed to a field that she can really excel in instead of being a doctor; she will always struggle in med school, but she can take her talents elsewhere and become an amazing law or business major.

The drama is that she called me yesterday and told me she had trouble getting accepted with an internship, and asked if she could work with me this summer. I basically told her she should reconsider the medical professions because she spends all day studying and she is barely average, and I don�t think she can succeed as a doctor. BUT I reassured her that it�s okay and she can find something else to shine in. On the phone she was really quiet, and I ended the phone call with �I love you�. After this, I have my eldest daughter, ex-husband, mother, and siblings spamming me and telling me to apologize. Youngest won�t even pick up the phone.

I understand that her feelings may have been hurt and while that�s valid, I think tough love will help her in the future. For example, it may have hurt her feelings when she was younger because I wouldn�t let her eat cookies for dinner, but as a parent you need to protect your children, even when it hurts them in the short term.

Tl;dr: Told daughter she won�t succeed as a doctor, now everyone is mad. AITA?

# ? Mar 25, 2019 01:37

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Yes. But you may not be wrong

# ? Mar 25, 2019 01:45

Barudak: May 7, 2007

I know somebody whose bedside manner scores are low

# ? Mar 25, 2019 01:47

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

Sandwich Anarchist posted:

It isn't, but you do you, red text.

Why isn't it? The definition of college says it does.

And lol at that weakass "burn".

# ? Mar 25, 2019 01:58

gvibes: Jan 18, 2010; Leading us to the promised land (i.e., one tournament win in five years)

QuarkJets posted:

Yet strangely I've never, ever seen them at any gym I've been to, between 5 gyms in 3 cities. I'm sure other gyms do have them but it seems to be primarily a crossfit thing

They�ll be at any place that has people doing Olympic lifts

# ? Mar 25, 2019 02:08

Balogna Head: Oct 3, 2013; I'm starting to worry that farts may never not be hilarious.

Haifisch posted:

AITA for telling my daughter to give up on her dreams?

This one really speaks to me. My inlaws (MIL, FIL, SIL-2) all poo poo on my other SIL-1 for years (SIL-2 and FIL's new GF still do, regularly, to her face). I have heard SIL's sister and parents refer to her as the dumb one, to her face. When SIL-1 decided to become a paramedic, her family literally told her she was too dumb to go to school in a medical field.

To her credit, SIL-1 is now a practicing paramedic, owns her own home and is in a good relationship. SIL-2 is miserable, single, and is probably torpedoing a solid career by job-hopping (from admittedly one high-powered/high-paying job to the next, but eventually people are going to stop hiring someone who routinely jumps ship every 3-12 months).

I cannot loving stand parents who choose a favourite, and can't even be bothered to have the human decency to pretend that they don't think their other child/ren are lesser.

# ? Mar 25, 2019 02:08

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

AITA for inviting a girl back to my hotel after she mentioned being down for casual, no strings attached sex? Both Late 20s

quote:

This happened a few days ago and first I thought she was overreacting but I mentioned it to a friend back home who told me I was being an rear end in a top hat so I've been thinking of it more...

I travel a lot for work and was recently in a really dope city for a conference in which I got put up in a super swank hotel. I match with a girl from tinder and we exchange snap usernames and start talking on there. We send a couple of innocent snaps before she mentions she is in an Open relationship and was just looking for no strings attached sex, pretty much a hot romp 1 off. This piques my interest immediately and tbh I started getting a bit hard and my thoughts racing. I ask her when she wants to meet up and she tells me she'll get through with her day and then hit me up.

Blood rushing to my dick, I send her a couple video snaps of my suite. This thing is seriously huge. Double room. Sweet bathroom. Amazing view with a balcony. I follow up with where I'm staying, that I have a private super swank room and that maybe she should come over when she's done with work. She opens the vids and says the room looks great, thanks for the view and offer etc etc but that she has had bad experiences with meeting strangers at hotels in the past and that she would rather meet somewhere neutral first to see if we vibe. I say okay.

About 5 minutes later, I'm completely hard and looking over this girl's pics and get a bit caught up in the moment of possibly banging someone elses girlfriend in a city i'm visiting. I send her a quick dick pic and a view of the skyline from my balcony and tell her "Or you should just come over right now and I can gently caress you against this window."

She shuts down immediately. Calls me an inconsiderate rear end in a top hat for "pressuring" her after she told me she had a bad experience. I honestly didn't think it was that big of a deal and more spur of the moment sexy but she immediately blocked me and unmatched me from Tinder. It's been a few days since and I'm still blocked so I ended up mentioning it to a friend back home who basically gasped and called me a raging rear end in a top hat. So.... AITA?

# ? Mar 25, 2019 02:10

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

OP posted:

Thank you for the comment on the open relationship thing... I realize I viewed that as just a super easy, non-commital way to get sex and didn't figure that she probably has standards set in place so that it works in a way that works for her

"Wait, women have standards? Even when they're in an open relationship? Buh?"

# ? Mar 25, 2019 02:17

Odd: Dec 30, 2006; I think everybody just needs to maybe cool out a little maybe

Haifisch posted:

"Wait, women have standards? Even when they're in an open relationship? Buh?"

Uh, no, they do not. Open relationships are contests to who can bed the most vulnerable idiot partners in the shortest amount of time and the winner gets slapped with alimony

# ? Mar 25, 2019 02:21

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

AITA for intentionally deflating a child's ball?

quote:

Look, before you click the title and type YTA, let me state my case.

I'm an Northern Irish guy living and working with my girlfriend in England and while we have a nice house and a dog, the neighbours kids are terrorising us and getting their parents to threaten us when we don't bow to their every whim.

Over the past year, the kids in the estate kick a ball against our high wooden fence nearly everyday, the noise it makes is annoying but we can live with it. However, sometimes the children kick the ball over the fence and come knock on our door to get the ball back, again it doesn't bother us too much.

Recently however, the kids have been kicking the ball over numerous times in the day and I work hard 9-5 so surely it's understandable that sometimes I couldn't care less about the ball, especially when the kids are rude to me and swearing at me when I give it back to them. So one day after retrieving the ball 5 seperate times and witnessing one kid attempt to climb my fence and get into my garden, I issue an ultimatum, if the ball lands in my garden again then I'm keeping it til the following day and then they can get it back.

The kids went and told their parents that we took their ball and won't give it back so here comes two parents knocking on our door yelling at us to give their ball back. Me and my gf protest saying they are damaging our fence, being rude to us and we insist that we are being reasonable qbut the parents keep saying the same thing "give them their ball back now", except more and more forcefully each time.

So what am I meant to do? Live my life as the defacto ball boy of the estate, eternally returning the balls back to their selfish, demanding owners under coercion by their parents?

Now I should preface this next bit by saying that I'm aware that my next actions could make me an rear end in a top hat and I would normally agree, however, I would argue that I'm not THE rear end in a top hat in this situation.

After having some kids dad come to my door and square up to me, I had enough, clearly noone bar us are interested in having a reasonable conversation about playing with a ball in the middle of a busy road (when there are 2 perfectly good parks 1 min down the street) or respecting other people's space so when the ball came over the fence last, I grabbed my sharpest kitchen knife and sank it into the football so to emulate a nail puncture. I step on the ball and squeeze a load of air out with my foot and then throw it back over the fence, making a much harder thud when it hits the ground

Now I know this is petty and immature but I've had enough of acting as a surrogate parent to these whinging little shits and I feel someone should at least teach them that actions have consequences, especially if their own parents couldn't GAF.

Edit: on reflection I do feel bad, mostly because the gf thinks I'm the rear end in a top hat for using her good knives but I was a wee poo poo when I was young so I can't judge them too harshly.

# ? Mar 25, 2019 02:28

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

That poo poo would eventually have me walking through the fence like the hulk and bouncing the ball off the kids face while they cry and poo poo their pants so hes probably a better man than I.

# ? Mar 25, 2019 02:48

Barudak: May 7, 2007

He should impale the balls that fall into his yard on his fence so all can see until the kids get the message.

# ? Mar 25, 2019 02:51

PancakeTransmission: May 27, 2007; You gotta improvise, Lisa: cloves, Tom Collins mix, frozen pie crust...; Plaster Town Cop

quote:

thanks for the view and offer etc etc but that she has had bad experiences with meeting strangers at hotels in the past and that she would rather meet somewhere neutral first to see if we vibe. I say okay.

I say OK and then completely ignore her request. AITA??????

# ? Mar 25, 2019 02:57

Sandwich Anarchist: Sep 12, 2008

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for inviting a girl back to my hotel after she mentioned being down for casual, no strings attached sex? Both Late 20s

My boner forced me to convince a girl I was going to assault her, aita?

# ? Mar 25, 2019 03:06

Heliogabalos: Apr 16, 2017; you can still key in codes for the cheapest of item (for example, celery instead of organic whatever) and no one pays any attention and it saves me a fuckton of money on organic produce

hevnz 2 murgatroyd posted:

5k guy owns and I hope he keeps pissing off marathon people because they�re insufferable.

fat people are justifiably jealous of distance runners for being hot and fit. A one hour 5k forsooth just :lol:

he's not pissing anyone off he's just embarrassing himself

when lame/fat people brag about their poo poo accomplishments it mostly just makes actual athletes cringe and exchange raised eyebrows, no one's mad fyi

# ? Mar 25, 2019 03:19

Business Gorillas: Mar 11, 2009

Haifisch posted:

Womankind's curse of "men think existing in the same country as them means you're flirting with them" strikes again.

What kind of loving weirdo goes to a work award ceremony, asks their boss if they can take an employee as a plus one so they can represent their company at the ceremony, and assumes it's somehow a date and not a work function?

consulting my abacus to see your reaction to this post of a dude confused that his girlfriend got mad at him for drinking and dancing with his older female superior at a work event

# ? Mar 25, 2019 03:22

bell jar: Feb 25, 2009

Haifisch posted:

AITA for intentionally deflating a child's ball?

here's an idea, don't be such a bloody baby about living in a neighbourhood with kids, and don't get upset when the kids (justifiably) go through their parents when dealing with an adult stranger, nobody gives a gently caress that you had to pick up a ball five times in a day, move somewhere without a loving backyard

# ? Mar 25, 2019 03:28

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

Lol. Nursing isn't physical labor. Sure, you're somewhat active moving around your clinic/hospital/etc, but it's not like you're performing actual physical labor on par with working in a warehouse, welding, HVAC, plumbing, construction, etc.

Like, I work in IT asset management where I'm on my feet for much of the day working with hardware and often not at my desk, but it's not actual physical labor either.

Oh yeah mr IT guy please tell me how when I�m lifting bariatric patients all day it isn�t physical labor and you know all about it because you�re totally on your feet sometimes.

Douche.

# ? Mar 25, 2019 03:31

Tetramin: Apr 1, 2006; I'ma buck you up.

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

Lol. Nursing isn't physical labor. Sure, you're somewhat active moving around your clinic/hospital/etc, but it's not like you're performing actual physical labor on par with working in a warehouse, welding, HVAC, plumbing, construction, etc.

Like, I work in IT asset management where I'm on my feet for much of the day working with hardware and often not at my desk, but it's not actual physical labor either.

carrying sticks of RAM and a clipboard, oooh

# ? Mar 25, 2019 03:39

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Tetramin posted:

carrying sticks of RAM and a clipboard, oooh

But he's on his feet while carrying them. It's very comparable to moving entire human beings around.

# ? Mar 25, 2019 03:43

FilthyImp: Sep 30, 2002; Anime Deviant

Computer Janitor going UH ACTUALLY is so on brand that I can't help but laugh at what a huge douchebag they come off as.

VvV
It's possible this burly fucker carts around CRTs from 1994 and UPS Batteries 18 hours a day...

But it's more likely they pick up the occasional Cat5 strand and keyboard/laptop.

FilthyImp fucked around with this message at 03:51 on Mar 25, 2019

# ? Mar 25, 2019 03:44

bell jar: Feb 25, 2009

actually i work at the computer place where all computer parts are the size and shape of a large corpse, checkmate nurses

# ? Mar 25, 2019 03:46

Business Gorillas: Mar 11, 2009

QuarkJets posted:

Nurses are constantly on their feet doing physical things that I imagine is probably damaging, but is that normally described as a form of "physical" labor? I thought that term applied more to construction work, moving services, etc. where physical stuff is literally all you do

deadlifting 300-400lb people is pretty physical, op

# ? Mar 25, 2019 03:50

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

Business Gorillas posted:

deadlifting 300-400lb people is pretty physical, op

I�m sure some of what they do is also livelifting

# ? Mar 25, 2019 03:54

Turtlicious: Sep 17, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

MarcusSA posted:

Like a 20 year old saying he�d like to have his own kids isn�t really that big of a deal.

Sorry someone in their early 20s isn�t woke enough for some of y�all. I�d love to know what opinions some of you had in your 20s.

Well I was sucking dick for food money at the time. Funnily enough, cum dumpsters are not supposed to be very opinionated.

Well when I was 18 so early 20's.

# ? Mar 25, 2019 04:03

MasBrillante: Dec 3, 2005; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

He could have nicely told the parents he was only going to be able to throw the ball back once a day instead of trying to negotiate with children. That might have actually had a chance of not making the neighbor think he�s an rear end in a top hat. But also, I am absolutely fascinated by all these people who care whether they are the rear end in a top hat or not in these minor social crimes.

# ? Mar 25, 2019 04:13

xtal: Jan 9, 2011; by Fluffdaddy

e derail

xtal fucked around with this message at 05:06 on Mar 25, 2019

# ? Mar 25, 2019 04:15

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# ? May 15, 2024 15:39

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

bell jar posted:

here's an idea, don't be such a bloody baby about living in a neighbourhood with kids, and don't get upset when the kids (justifiably) go through their parents when dealing with an adult stranger, nobody gives a gently caress that you had to pick up a ball five times in a day, move somewhere without a loving backyard

Hey look, its the rear end in a top hat child only now they've grown up or at least larger and are posting on SA!

A) 'Just move away' is the goddamn stupidest thing I've ever heard, especially if they were there before these lovely children. Do you actually live away from your parents?

B) They're swearing at him and being the larval form of lovely adults. Which scans since the parents are equally garbage.

C) if nobody or at least, nobody as lovely as you clearly are, gives a poo poo than that means you're on your own which means its a free range.

D) The dude clearly works which means the dude clearly has more important poo poo to do in his life than pick up after the neighborhood crack babies

I'd make a stick with a knife on the end and just spear every ball and scrape it off on their side of the fence till they figure it the gently caress out, if their parents try some poo poo you can use it there as well.

Motherfucker fucked around with this message at 04:34 on Mar 25, 2019

# ? Mar 25, 2019 04:32

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