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algebra testes
Mar 5, 2011


Lipstick Apathy
I did a cross examination it was bad so maybe Ill quit and be green grocer or something idk.

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Eminent Domain
Sep 23, 2007



Phil Moscowitz posted:

One time I saw a sign on the outside wall of a building in Seaport Village in San Diego that said standing outside in that area was known to the state of California to cause cancer. True story



California as gently caress.



Amazing. And he's probably still gonna take TV spots like a moron.

terrorist ambulance
Nov 5, 2009

algebra testes posted:

I did a cross examination it was bad so maybe Ill quit and be green grocer or something idk.

Cross can be hard and is very sad when it doesn't go well but keep trying friend you'll get it!!

Tokelau All Star
Feb 23, 2008

THE TAXES! THE FINGER THING MEANS THE TAXES!

algebra testes posted:

I did a cross examination it was bad so maybe Ill quit and be green grocer or something idk.

Don't feel too bad. I did a cross this morning where it came out that my client had done some witness tampering. It never would have come up if I hadn't gone into her continuing to talk to my client even after the incident. I just ended the questions there because I couldn't see how to dig out of that huge pit I threw myself in.

Pook Good Mook
Aug 6, 2013


ENFORCE THE UNITED STATES DRESS CODE AT ALL COSTS!

This message paid for by the Men's Wearhouse& Jos A Bank Lobbying Group
I did a nearly 5 hour speeding trial yesterday.

It was a LIDAR case in a State that doesn't require me to produce an expert or calibrator or even a certificate, it's all weight not admissibility questions.

That didn't stop the defense attorney from citing dozens of out-of-jurisdiction cases and objecting to every other question on foundation and relevance to the point where the judge yelled at him. He even told me he was going to do it, threatening he was going to make it take at least 4 hours because he'd "object to everything." As if that didn't make me want to waste his client's money more.

Charged his client $1,500 to defend a $212 ticket. Defendant's guilt is irrelevant at that point.

algebra testes
Mar 5, 2011


Lipstick Apathy
I was at a professional conference and some lawyers scoffed at someone going to therapy because they should "just drink their feelings away"

terrorist ambulance
Nov 5, 2009
How do people actually deal with stress and vicarious trauma productively, though

terrorist ambulance
Nov 5, 2009
No answers that talk about "taking more time for yourself / work life balance", "meditation" or "thoughtfulness"

terrorist ambulance
Nov 5, 2009

Pook Good Mook posted:

I did a nearly 5 hour speeding trial yesterday.

It was a LIDAR case in a State that doesn't require me to produce an expert or calibrator or even a certificate, it's all weight not admissibility questions.

That didn't stop the defense attorney from citing dozens of out-of-jurisdiction cases and objecting to every other question on foundation and relevance to the point where the judge yelled at him. He even told me he was going to do it, threatening he was going to make it take at least 4 hours because he'd "object to everything." As if that didn't make me want to waste his client's money more.

Charged his client $1,500 to defend a $212 ticket. Defendant's guilt is irrelevant at that point.

Ok what was the outcome though

Pook Good Mook
Aug 6, 2013


ENFORCE THE UNITED STATES DRESS CODE AT ALL COSTS!

This message paid for by the Men's Wearhouse& Jos A Bank Lobbying Group

terrorist ambulance posted:

Ok what was the outcome though

Under advisement, Defense wants up to 21 days to file a brief.

One which will probably have 1-2 in-state cases with any binding authority in it. My state has never ruled on the procedure of admissibility of LIDAR/RADAR and the standard for admissibility weighs heavily in favor of fact-finder being aware of theoretical errors but being able to weigh them. Almost everything comes in provided the proponent is talking about their own personal observations and isn't over-reaching in their expertise. So I got in the number of the LIDAR and his other observations of speed, which everyone in the court knew I would get in, it was gutless lawyering by the defense who just wanted to make the case painfully long.

For example, cops can talk about a cell-phone tower triangulation they got from Verizon, even if they have no clue how the mechanics of cell towers work and they can explain how the triangulation works. You're always better having a Verizon engineer come, but you aren't required to.

joat mon
Oct 15, 2009

I am the master of my lamp;
I am the captain of my tub.

terrorist ambulance posted:

No answers that talk about "taking more time for yourself / work life balance", "meditation" or "thoughtfulness"

Do you mean, "no vague platitudes about the parts of life that occur outside of work," or "no mention of any coping mechanisms that don't pertain to work or happen outside of work"?

Nice piece of fish
Jan 29, 2008

Ultra Carp

terrorist ambulance posted:

How do people actually deal with stress and vicarious trauma productively, though

I don't know about you but I keep a pillow on my desk to scream and cry incoherently into, dunno why you have to weird about it

terrorist ambulance
Nov 5, 2009

joat mon posted:

Do you mean, "no vague platitudes about the parts of life that occur outside of work," or "no mention of any coping mechanisms that don't pertain to work or happen outside of work"?

I just mean what do people actually do to dissipate bathing in other people's misery. Mindfulness is not it

evilweasel
Aug 24, 2002

terrorist ambulance posted:

I just mean what do people actually do to dissipate bathing in other people's misery. Mindfulness is not it

at one point when i was having a bad few months at work i organized a massive campaign of economic terrorism in eve online

that helped a lot

Look Sir Droids
Jan 27, 2015

The tracks go off in this direction.

terrorist ambulance posted:

I just mean what do people actually do to dissipate bathing in other people's misery. Mindfulness is not it

Exercise. Which I should do a lot more of. Videogames also works for me, which is a lot easier to do because I don't need to schedule it. I just have to wait for the kids to go to bed. This can backfire if I'm playing something that might make me ragequit.


evilweasel posted:

at one point when i was having a bad few months at work i organized a massive campaign of economic terrorism in eve online

that helped a lot

Please explain. I enjoy EVE stories.

Rogue AI Goddess
May 10, 2012

I enjoy the sight of humans on their knees.
That was a joke... unless..?

terrorist ambulance posted:

I just mean what do people actually do to dissipate bathing in other people's misery. Mindfulness is not it
I name my Darkest Dungeon characters after my clients and coworkers.

evilweasel
Aug 24, 2002

Look Sir Droids posted:

Please explain. I enjoy EVE stories.

as background, tons of stuff in eve relies on burning one of four racial fuels (everything burns a specific kind: you can't use the wrong kind). at the time, mining those racial fuels was very time-consuming and not very profitable, but it required basically no thought and barely any attention to the computer (and at the time they made basically no effort to ban bots, and this was stupidly easy to bot). the only ships that could mine this effectively were somewhat expensive (mackinaws), and had basically no defenses. to make enough money to buy a new mackinaw took like 20-30 hours of mining. all of this combined to mean that it was only mined in high security space, where you can't make very much money but anyone who tries to shoot you will get blown up after about fifteen seconds.

one day, i realized that there were only 17 places in the entire game that (a) were in high security space and (b) had the necessary ice belts to mine the most important type of ice, gallente ice (which produced oxygen isotopes). there would be hundreds of mackinaws in each of these belts at any time of the day, every day of the week. on an unrelated note, mackinaws needed a specific mineral to build, technetium, that was only found in the "north" which just so happened to be where goonswarm lived.

isotopes sold for about 400 isk a unit, and all isotopes were bought and sold in a single giant market hub.

so basically the plan was this: we'd set up giant caches of disposable suicide ships in each of these systems. then, the goonswarm alliance (and people in on the plan) bought up every last bit of the oxygen isotopes in the market hub. and then we announced that anyone mining ice in those belts would be shot. and, since my seven thousand closest friends in goonswarm (and thousands more of my close but not closest friends in our allies at the time) utterly adore making random people in eve suffer, everyone in goonswarm was extremely eager to help out: and we'd reimburse everyone for the ships they lost doing this.

for the first week or two it was a complete slaughter: there'd be dozens of these expensive, fragile ships everywhere. usually you can only kill one before dying, but people were packed so close together that you could sometimes blow up 10 or so at a time (and all the ships we were losing cost 1/10th or less of what the ships we were killing cost). anyone who was killed lost 20 hours of work. hundreds of these ships were dying, and we posted about it relentlessly anywhere random eve players congregated. so very, very quickly people got the message that if you wanted to mine in peace, you had to do so elsewhere, and the people mining in the belts dropped dramatically. and that meant that instead of having, like, a 5% chance of getting ganked you had close to 100% because you were the only one dumb enough to wander into the killing fields when bored goons were waiting for someone to kill. that also meant we didn't need to keep everyone interested anymore - now that few people were mining, it only took a handful of people to keep putting heads on stakes in the belts to keep people out. and suddenly, no more oxygen isotopes are being mined anywhere at all. and they're not on the market, because we bought them all. and the small amounts we missed, someone else got them.

so the price went from like 400 to a high of something like 5000 (but mostly hovered in the 1500-2000 range. and, uh, we have a giant stockpile of them, so nobody in our alliance needs to pay those prices, but everyone else suddenly is paying through the nose for this critical stuff (usually, paying us, out of our stockpiles). oh, and everyone building these ships we're killing in record numbers? they're buying the key mineral from us, and so that goes up in price as well - funding more economic terrorism.

this goes on for three months and the game just basically runs out. people start mining it in more dangerous space, where we aren't, because it's become so profitable that it's worth the danger (but only if that danger is far away from goons, in their own territory). and people have buy orders trying to buy this stuff at any price.

so finally, we get into a real war and are going to need to wind it down soon. so without telling anyone outside the alliance, we just abruptly end it, and dump all of our stockpiles back on the market. our stockpiles are all sold at hilariously inflated prices, making the whole thing a net profit to us - and leaving everyone else holding our stockpile at way what the market price is now that we've stopped.

the game devs eventually did a dev blog on the whole thing which seems to have vanished from the internet, but the economic effects midway through can be seen here: https://www.eveonline.com/article/price-indices-november-2011

Fuzzie Dunlop
Apr 14, 2013
Looking good, evilweasel!

evilweasel
Aug 24, 2002

the other fun eve online economic terrorism story is the time when we figured out that the old adage is true: you can pay one half of the working class to kill the other half

basically, a similar idea to the last one: a poo poo-ton of mining took place in highsec, in expensive, fragile ships (exhumers). there'd been a series of events where people would compete to suicide gank these and see who could rack up the most kills, called hulkageddon; it'd last for a month. it had happened four times: by the fifth, people figured out you just put the expensive ships away for a month and if you must mine, you mine in cheap ships. whoever got the most kills got a prize, there were a few runner-up prizes.

what we did is we worked with the guy who organized it, and after the fourth hulkageddon announced hulkageddon infinity: it would continue indefinitely. not only that, but there'd be a new incentive structure: goonswarm would reimburse anyone in the game a set amount of isk (enough to buy a new ship) for each dead hulk (or other exhumer). like the previous time, all those exhumers? they were built with costly minerals supplied by goonswarm. anyone at all: you were in an implacably hostile alliance, but had killed some random guy mining in highsec? great work, here's 25 million isk. we set up a website and automatic kill tracking and reimbursement, so we basically fed money into the system and had piles of dead miners come out. who then had to go buy a new, expensive ship, built with minerals we'd supplied.

so, people finally were just like, gently caress it, we're not using the expensive ships anymore, we're going to mine in cheap ships because then people won't kill us. so we put bounties on those too.

the end result was we cut mining in highsec (where most minerals came from) by half, by paying half of highsec to kill the other half. sure, we also joined in on the killing, but there's no way we could have ever done this much damage without co-opting the rest of eve:



(the blue line, this was from the game devs themselves, and this is from before we started putting bounties on the smaller ships too)

a common theme of this entire thing was "Goonswarm Has Way Too Much Money" (at the time i calculated if i stole it all and sold it at the dollar prices in-game currency sold for, i could make $160k a year - sadly i could not have stolen all of it nor sold a fraction of that much before getting banned) so shortly after this, the game devs nerfed our primary income source (which we'd been telling them for years they needed to do, but they didn't listen until we went and captured it all and used it to do stuff like this).

evilweasel fucked around with this message at 17:24 on Mar 28, 2019

Soothing Vapors
Mar 26, 2006

Associate Justice Lena "Kegels" Dunham: An uncool thought to have: 'is that guy walking in the dark behind me a rapist? Never mind, he's Asian.
as a game, eve was absolutely dreadful. as a weird online economics/crime/human nature laboratory, it's unparalleled

Look Sir Droids
Jan 27, 2015

The tracks go off in this direction.
lol good ol' Goonswarm.

blarzgh
Apr 14, 2009

SNITCHIN' RANDY
Grimey Drawer

Ephemeron posted:

I name my Darkest Dungeon characters after my clients and coworkers.

I name all my X-Com soldiers after my friends and family, but I stopped short of naming one after my kid because it felt too risky. My wife had a tendency to die alot.

Vox Nihili
May 28, 2008

evilweasel posted:

as background, tons of stuff in eve relies on burning one of four racial fuels (everything burns a specific kind: you can't use the wrong kind). at the time, mining those racial fuels was very time-consuming and not very profitable, but it required basically no thought and barely any attention to the computer (and at the time they made basically no effort to ban bots, and this was stupidly easy to bot). the only ships that could mine this effectively were somewhat expensive (mackinaws), and had basically no defenses. to make enough money to buy a new mackinaw took like 20-30 hours of mining. all of this combined to mean that it was only mined in high security space, where you can't make very much money but anyone who tries to shoot you will get blown up after about fifteen seconds.

one day, i realized that there were only 17 places in the entire game that (a) were in high security space and (b) had the necessary ice belts to mine the most important type of ice, gallente ice (which produced oxygen isotopes). there would be hundreds of mackinaws in each of these belts at any time of the day, every day of the week. on an unrelated note, mackinaws needed a specific mineral to build, technetium, that was only found in the "north" which just so happened to be where goonswarm lived.

isotopes sold for about 400 isk a unit, and all isotopes were bought and sold in a single giant market hub.

so basically the plan was this: we'd set up giant caches of disposable suicide ships in each of these systems. then, the goonswarm alliance (and people in on the plan) bought up every last bit of the oxygen isotopes in the market hub. and then we announced that anyone mining ice in those belts would be shot. and, since my seven thousand closest friends in goonswarm (and thousands more of my close but not closest friends in our allies at the time) utterly adore making random people in eve suffer, everyone in goonswarm was extremely eager to help out: and we'd reimburse everyone for the ships they lost doing this.

for the first week or two it was a complete slaughter: there'd be dozens of these expensive, fragile ships everywhere. usually you can only kill one before dying, but people were packed so close together that you could sometimes blow up 10 or so at a time (and all the ships we were losing cost 1/10th or less of what the ships we were killing cost). anyone who was killed lost 20 hours of work. hundreds of these ships were dying, and we posted about it relentlessly anywhere random eve players congregated. so very, very quickly people got the message that if you wanted to mine in peace, you had to do so elsewhere, and the people mining in the belts dropped dramatically. and that meant that instead of having, like, a 5% chance of getting ganked you had close to 100% because you were the only one dumb enough to wander into the killing fields when bored goons were waiting for someone to kill. that also meant we didn't need to keep everyone interested anymore - now that few people were mining, it only took a handful of people to keep putting heads on stakes in the belts to keep people out. and suddenly, no more oxygen isotopes are being mined anywhere at all. and they're not on the market, because we bought them all. and the small amounts we missed, someone else got them.

so the price went from like 400 to a high of something like 5000 (but mostly hovered in the 1500-2000 range. and, uh, we have a giant stockpile of them, so nobody in our alliance needs to pay those prices, but everyone else suddenly is paying through the nose for this critical stuff (usually, paying us, out of our stockpiles). oh, and everyone building these ships we're killing in record numbers? they're buying the key mineral from us, and so that goes up in price as well - funding more economic terrorism.

this goes on for three months and the game just basically runs out. people start mining it in more dangerous space, where we aren't, because it's become so profitable that it's worth the danger (but only if that danger is far away from goons, in their own territory). and people have buy orders trying to buy this stuff at any price.

so finally, we get into a real war and are going to need to wind it down soon. so without telling anyone outside the alliance, we just abruptly end it, and dump all of our stockpiles back on the market. our stockpiles are all sold at hilariously inflated prices, making the whole thing a net profit to us - and leaving everyone else holding our stockpile at way what the market price is now that we've stopped.

the game devs eventually did a dev blog on the whole thing which seems to have vanished from the internet, but the economic effects midway through can be seen here: https://www.eveonline.com/article/price-indices-november-2011

Goldman Sachs wants to know your location.

Vox Nihili
May 28, 2008

blarzgh posted:

I name all my X-Com soldiers after my friends and family, but I stopped short of naming one after my kid because it felt too risky. My wife had a tendency to die alot.

I did this in Rimworld and but it gets weird when people start sleeping together.

Roger_Mudd
Jul 18, 2003

Buglord
Lol if you practice law and baseball isn't your favorite sport.

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

bone shaking.
soul baking.

Roger_Mudd posted:

Lol if you practice law and baseball isn't your favorite sport.

baseball is boring and bad. it's only good if you need background noise for a nap, but then again anything on espn ocho is going to serve the same function.

Nice piece of fish
Jan 29, 2008

Ultra Carp

Roger_Mudd posted:

Lol if you practice law and baseball isn't your favorite sport.

Lol if you think baseball is a sport and not something fictional Hollywood made up to put in american movies. Such a trope.

Roger_Mudd
Jul 18, 2003

Buglord
I will fight both of you.

Meatbag Esq.
May 3, 2006

Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

Roger_Mudd posted:

I will fight both of you.

For the last 5 years I watched two sporting events a year: the Super Bowl (but not really cause it was more an excuse to throw a board game party) and the one baseball game my legal team went to each year... but the giants sucked so it was mostly talking and not watching.

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

bone shaking.
soul baking.
Came to an agreement on pay, so I'm employed again. Taking a paycut but have higher earning potential with bonuses, plus this firm is significantly lower volume and less stress.

Also when I asked about going to do pro bono work at the veteran's clinic instead of my boss saying that I have to do that stuff on my own time, I was told I could stay on the clock for it. :unsmith:


For any of the criminal law people present, have you read Robert Kraft's motion for protective orders and motion to suppress? His attorneys are admitted pro hac vice, and they're violating local rules and cite zero Florida caselaw.

Vox Nihili
May 28, 2008

Roger_Mudd posted:

Lol if you practice law and baseball isn't your favorite sport.

Baseball is the best sport for lawyers because many lawyers can still actually play and only hurt themselves every third game or so.

Wait, do you mean to watch? Oh, man.

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

bone shaking.
soul baking.
I just made an effortpost in the thread for joking about Robert Kraft, and after spending a bit looking things up again, his motion to suppress has a good chance of being struck before it's ever heard as it looks to be legally insufficient.

nm
Jan 28, 2008

"I saw Minos the Space Judge holding a golden sceptre and passing sentence upon the Martians. There he presided, and around him the noble Space Prosecutors sought the firm justice of space law."
Baseball is a great sport for lawyers because it si best enjoyed with lots of beer.
I actually really like going to baseball games in person, MLB or minor league. TV? Only playoffs.
Football is my true love though.

joat mon
Oct 15, 2009

I am the master of my lamp;
I am the captain of my tub.

Mr. Nice! posted:

I just made an effortpost in the thread for joking about Robert Kraft, and after spending a bit looking things up again, his motion to suppress has a good chance of being struck before it's ever heard as it looks to be legally insufficient.

On a related note, had a great quote from a defendant trying to explain to the judge why he shouldn't be in jail: "I don't understand how it could be sexual battery, I already paid her!"

EwokEntourage
Jun 10, 2008

BREYER: Actually, Antonin, you got it backwards. See, a power bottom is actually generating all the dissents by doing most of the work.

SCALIA: Stephen, I've heard that speed has something to do with it.

BREYER: Speed has everything to do with it.

Mr. Nice! posted:

Came to an agreement on pay, so I'm employed again. Taking a paycut but have higher earning potential with bonuses, plus this firm is significantly lower volume and less stress.

Also when I asked about going to do pro bono work at the veteran's clinic instead of my boss saying that I have to do that stuff on my own time, I was told I could stay on the clock for it. :unsmith:


For any of the criminal law people present, have you read Robert Kraft's motion for protective orders and motion to suppress? His attorneys are admitted pro hac vice, and they're violating local rules and cite zero Florida caselaw.

Is this the job at the class action plaintiffs firm? As primarily defense counsel, always curious what the other side is like.

algebra testes
Mar 5, 2011


Lipstick Apathy
Do we still do fantasy football itt?

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

bone shaking.
soul baking.

EwokEntourage posted:

Is this the job at the class action plaintiffs firm? As primarily defense counsel, always curious what the other side is like.

It is. I’ll chat more once I’ve been there a bit.

I’m also still interviewing at a place that pays more, though, so my 1099 life may be short lived.

G-Mawwwwwww
Jan 31, 2003

My LPth are Hot Garbage
Biscuit Hider
This job loving sucks.

SIGN THE ORDER. SIGN THE loving ORDER YOU SHITHEADS. JESUS loving CHRIST.

Nice piece of fish
Jan 29, 2008

Ultra Carp

GrandmaParty posted:

This job loving sucks.

SIGN THE ORDER. SIGN THE loving ORDER YOU SHITHEADS. JESUS loving CHRIST.

Same

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Hoshi
Jan 20, 2013

:wrongcity:

GrandmaParty posted:

This job loving sucks.

SIGN THE ORDER. SIGN THE loving ORDER YOU SHITHEADS. JESUS loving CHRIST.

I'm really liking Yiik btw

Your playthrough that is, what an awful game

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