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Josherino)
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animist posted:I've had a luck with ACT for grief, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. There's a good intro book about it called The Happiness Trap (epub), which is actually not too obnoxiously self-helpy despite the name. This is one of the reasons I love ACT. A lot of people have been fed this expectation that life should feel good all the time (that's capitalism!). This is a trap that keeps people stuck. Life is pain, but pain does not have to be life. Pain and discomfort is to be expected and not avoided. Accepting and learning to deal with them in a positive way helpful way rather than a negative hurtful way.
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Apr 8, 2019 21:30
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| # ? May 23, 2024 13:08 |
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Yeah, you can't just clamp down on negative emotions and put off feeling them forever. The only way out is through. Now if you only feel negative emotions all the time, then you need pills or something, but that's different.
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Apr 8, 2019 22:30
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my therapist rescheduled on me for later this week because she's sick, that's fair I get it. I've just been having a really rough week and sleeping maybe 4 hours every night for some reason I can't figure out. I've been doing all the stuff my GP told me to do and oddly enough, it's not helping that much. working out makes me feel ok for about 5 minutes till I'm done and then I just need to lay in bed again. sorry for the steam of consciousness but this sleep deprivation is really loving with me. I've tried some sleep meditation/ mindfulness stuff but it's not working. Can normal people really force out thoughts when meditating?
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Apr 9, 2019 03:14
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Consummate Professional posted:Can normal people really force out thoughts when meditating? I'm under the impression that meditation is supposed to be more about practicing not thinking in the first place and learning how to dismiss the thoughts you do have. I haven't actually done any of the mindfulness type stuff over a long term, but I have spent the last four years trying to follow the basic principles of it and cbt in order to change my thinking habits and stop using self talk.
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Apr 9, 2019 05:16
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Consummate Professional posted:my therapist rescheduled on me for later this week because she's sick, that's fair I get it. I've just been having a really rough week and sleeping maybe 4 hours every night for some reason I can't figure out. I've been doing all the stuff my GP told me to do and oddly enough, it's not helping that much. working out makes me feel ok for about 5 minutes till I'm done and then I just need to lay in bed again. meditation isn’t about active annihilation but a loosening of control. having thoughts are fine, you just don’t go chasing after them. just withdraw and watch them go by have you tried headspace? MY WIFE has an anxiety disorder and its meditation intro and emergency stuff has helped her immensely. 10/mo for the full version iirc but it’s been worth the money
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Apr 9, 2019 05:56
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I had a somebody explain it to me: you keep a tight grip on your thoughts most of the time. Meditation is about loosening that grip. Naturally, when you lighten up on the leash, your thoughts are gonna wander off and go all sorts of weird places. Even, or especially, places you don't want them to go. That's fine! the key is to recognize that your thoughts are just that: thoughts. a reel of random subtitles in your frontal lobe. it's okay to not concern yourself with whatever they do for a while. Mindfulness is emphatically not about not thinking; that's just a side effect that happens sometimes. If you try not to think, you're gonna think about not thinking, and therefore fail pretty much immediately. Or at least that's what happens to me. Just go along with the meditation tape, and when you notice your attention wandering, gently thank your thoughts and bring your focus back to the tape. losing focus is a natural part of the process, especially for beginners, so you don't need to beat yourself up about it (although if you *do* notice that you're beating yourself up about it, that's okay too... just try to be a little gentler with your correction.)
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Apr 9, 2019 07:03
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Just want to vent My academic career I've been building for 10+ years is falling apart. I got a permanent job a couple years ago (like the coveted "you made it!" type job people in this field strive for), which was probably one of the best periods in my life. A year ago we got new management which is insistent on dismantling my life's work in some of the worst possible and humiliating ways. I'm convinced there are multiple new people in my group and chain of command that suffer from narcissistic personality disorder. What's going on is totally unprecedented and is being noticed on the outside, but the reality is I have to go and there's no hope in waiting it out. It is amazing how one or two people can just crater a place with a very long reputation of a supportive and productive atmosphere (which is why I took this job). I don't think I've been more depressed in my life with how it's really knocked me down to "I can do about an hour of real work a day". I'm prone to depression (usually through prolonged episodes lasting a month or two) but I never really understood the lie-in-bed-all-day symptom of depression before. That's now me. I'm not alone in this and most people around me are suffering through some version of this to varying degrees. I'm getting some of the worst of it because I'm so junior, so one of the easier to push around, but also I'm not totally rolling over. I wish they hadn't hired me. I want to use my departure for some good as a big red flag to anyone talented considering coming here or collaborating with us and giving me the freedom to complain explicitly up to the C-level analogs without fear of retaliation (which is very real). I've been applying to new non-academic jobs, but honestly I'm not sure if it's better I hang in there to keep an income or walk out to get away from this. I think I'd be happier away, but I don't know what that will do to my mood if finding a new job does take a while. I can support myself for probably at least 4 months before my savings are gone and I'd have to start cracking my retirement accounts . I'm day-to-day on the walking out just from the emotional response I get being there.
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Apr 9, 2019 13:36
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that’s a rough situation. one of the worst things that happened to me after moving to Austin and presenting the app I made for Kerri Evelyn-Harris’ campaign was reaching out to the head of Austin DSA and basically getting told my app was a lovely waste of time bc Facebook exists. it was a punch in the balls I still haven’t recovered from and has dismantled my ability to code hobby projects which I used to love to do it sucks so hard when what you love changes into a terrible situation. it’s hard, but if you’re SURE there’s no out, it might be time to let it go. though I also appreciate also how rough of a situation that puts you in. good luck op, keep us posted
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Apr 9, 2019 15:14
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turn off the TV posted:I'm under the impression that meditation is supposed to be more about practicing not thinking in the first place and learning how to dismiss the thoughts you do have. Meditation and mindfulness (IMO) is about being focused on the moment and being truly present. When you are truly present in the moment you actually relinquish control and have no need to "force" thoughts to go anywhere. When you are present in the moment what happens in one hour does not matter because you are not there. Anxiety fades when you do not live in the future, depression eases when you do not live in the past. Being truly present in the moment is letting go of what may happen or what has happened and is simply paying attention to the now. In sports this can be described as "the zone" and can result in increased performance as you are at ease and confident in the moment.
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Apr 9, 2019 17:07
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DrPossum posted:Just want to vent That's pretty rough. It sucks when your job doesn't treat you with respect. You haven't had enough time to gain the respect of these new people by showing your worth, and they're dismantling you and everyone else's work because their shortsightedness and self-centeredness tells them their ideas are the only ones that matter. I've dealt with a lot of people like that before and I have typically responded by giving my 2 weeks when it got to be too much. It really hosed up my career growth for a while. If you can work your way out of your funk, find a therapist and make whatever lifestyle changes you need to make your job tolerable while you plan how to move on, you'll probably find something new that's good, with the amount of experience you have. Talking about it with a professional is a good first step
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Apr 9, 2019 23:54
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Thanks guys. It's definitely time to let go and I can be happy if I can find a place that appreciates me. I would only see a big waste if I stay and work on the bullshit they're trying to funnel me into. Everything up to now has been a positive experience which I'm confident will get carried on by my collaborators. They're the ones I get the most sad over because we could have continued to do great work together and it was a really solid group. They've been supportive too despite a lot of hard conversations I've been having lately. It's stuff like this which has also made me grateful for my good friends and family. The lifestyle change I think I really need the most is just to get away from my office and be able to exercise and go outside and do creative hobbies. Therapy is probably a good thing to set up in any scenario with so many changes going on. Thank you for the suggestion.
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Apr 10, 2019 01:49
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DrPossum posted:Thanks guys. It's definitely time to let go and I can be happy if I can find a place that appreciates me. I would only see a big waste if I stay and work on the bullshit they're trying to funnel me into. Everything up to now has been a positive experience which I'm confident will get carried on by my collaborators. They're the ones I get the most sad over because we could have continued to do great work together and it was a really solid group. They've been supportive too despite a lot of hard conversations I've been having lately. also if you like your old work friendos you can always keep in touch after you leave 
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Apr 10, 2019 02:46
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lol at how called out i feel by this song hi thread
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Apr 10, 2019 17:40
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juche avocado posted:lol at how called out i feel by this song hello
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Apr 10, 2019 18:06
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I have my first appointment with a therapist in like five minutes and I'm not panicking you are
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Apr 10, 2019 18:56
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That same white supremacist website showed up in my Google recommendations today. And someone else posted the same thing on the Chapo subreddit about how Google straight up recommended them an out-and-out White Nationalist website. gently caress everything
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Apr 10, 2019 19:10
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I listened to some bill bur comedy and google and youtube are trying to shove alt right poo poo at me as well. No matter how often I say no, there it is. Google alt writes algorithms.
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Apr 10, 2019 19:14
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BENGHAZI 2 posted:I have my first appointment with a therapist in like five minutes and I'm not panicking you are be honest! It is a safe space to share anything you want! They are not judging you!
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Apr 10, 2019 19:20
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somehow i was really heartened by the ending of the last chapo episode. some powerful mental health messages imo. my gf wants kids and I used to be pretty ambivalent about it. not just worrying on my potential kids behalf what with climate change and the rise of fascism, but also not entirely unselfishly about my own not always amazingly stable mental health and what impact that might have on my ability to raise kids and our relationship. I had a mostly bad relationship with my parents, so I’m kind of worried that they might either turn out to be assholes or that they... don’t like me? but gently caress it, i might as well try to raise some decent human beings. the second thing was mentioned a lot of times in this thread already. you really do have a choice in what media and how much of it you consume. and at a certain point, you’re not educating yourself anymore, but just wallowing in despair and - in my case certainly- sort of getting off on how awful things are and how much more awful they’re gonna get, oh boy! that segment really gave me a push to go out and do a socialism irl soon. join a party/group that does something good, donate time or money to worthwhile causes, and spend time with real people. probably won’t change the world, but I feel reminded of the little starfish story someone posted early in this thread.
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Apr 10, 2019 20:43
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BENGHAZI 2 posted:I have my first appointment with a therapist in like five minutes and I'm not panicking you are aww. good luck, hope you get a good rapport going.
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Apr 10, 2019 21:35
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lol im extremely mentally ill I have so much trash in my kitchen that I'm afraid to look at it, I've got every color of mold growing in my bathroom and I'm back to barely eating. I ran out of food at one point and didn't bother going to the store for a couple of days afterwords. the social worker who said that people should be stable for six months before trying to live alone was probably on to something
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Apr 11, 2019 04:02
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turn off the TV posted:lol im extremely mentally ill have you looked into a roommate? they might be able to lend a helping hand and make life bearable. also maids are expensive but having them come in and cleanse the place with fire might be enough to get you back on track. try to do something every day that doesn’t seem to matter, like washing a single dish or putting up one thing out of place. after about of month or so of easy mode you’ll find you’ve developed basic skills you can expand on, but you have to stick with it and do it literally daily
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Apr 11, 2019 07:13
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Chokes McGee posted:aww. good luck, hope you get a good rapport going. She was cool, I basically spent the whole first session babbling about anything she prompted me on and playing with my fidget and not making eye contact Next week will be the same except I'll yell about my landlord
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Apr 11, 2019 07:15
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i know its a smaller issue than actual depression and stuff but i'm surrounded by people at work and college that mostly talk about avengers and rp1 and harry potter and if i wasnt already a loner then it would make me one, because all this pointless talk about pablum is so depressing. all these kids raised on fascist nietzchian fantasies that still havent woken up... like, how is anyone even excited for avengers? you know thanos will lose and everyone will come back, because they've signed contracts. and the fights are shot poorly and ughggh its not even good spectacle like a jackie chan film
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Apr 11, 2019 08:34
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got any sevens posted:i know its a smaller issue than actual depression and stuff but i'm surrounded by people at work and college that mostly talk about avengers and rp1 and harry potter and if i wasnt already a loner then it would make me one, because all this pointless talk about pablum is so depressing. all these kids raised on fascist nietzchian fantasies that still havent woken up... Because we live in a late capitalist nightmare realm where something like that is all you get to look forward ro
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Apr 11, 2019 14:37
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gently caress the mcu lol i have a few more comic book movie hot takes, but that DiscourseTM is genuinely mentally draining for me and i don't want to start a dumb derail.
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Apr 11, 2019 14:40
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I mean the movies are absolute dogshit but people enjoy the distraction from how poo poo everything is and like poo poo man I do the same thing, just with different stuff
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Apr 11, 2019 14:44
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captain marvel was really really good and I’m looking forward to end game v veveryone has their own tastes tho!
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Apr 11, 2019 14:47
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BENGHAZI 2 posted:I mean the movies are absolute dogshit but people enjoy the distraction from how poo poo everything is and like  i guess more annoyed at the giant disney machine devouring pop culture.Chokes McGee posted:captain marvel was really really good and I’m looking forward to end game v you enjoyed shazam! (nothing but respect for MY captain marvel) so i won't get on your case for this.
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Apr 11, 2019 14:57
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Equeen posted:
Shazam literally has the kid gently caress over a cop and steal his lunch as the first presentday scene Captain Marvel is about a jackbooted thug woman getting redeemed by saving the space palestinians bob dobbs is dead has issued a correction as of 15:40 on Apr 11, 2019 |
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Apr 11, 2019 15:17
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bob dobbs is dead posted:Captain Marvel is about a jackbooted thug woman getting redeemed by saving the space palestinians it's also air force propaganda lol
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Apr 11, 2019 15:24
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Equeen posted:it's also air force propaganda lol Yeah, true
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Apr 11, 2019 15:25
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A couple of the Marvel movies are actually good, like spiderman, and for the most part they're all acceptable as movies. This is a stunning achievement.
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Apr 11, 2019 15:38
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bob dobbs is dead posted:Captain Marvel is about a jackbooted thug woman getting redeemed by saving the space palestinians idk that seems kind of cool as a redemption arc
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Apr 11, 2019 15:51
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Chokes McGee posted:idk that seems kind of cool as a redemption arc She doesn't quit the usaf, though.
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Apr 11, 2019 15:54
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Chokes McGee posted:idk that seems kind of cool as a redemption arc maybe she could'ved saved earth's Palestinians too? this is the lazy centrist disney/marvel scripting that infuriates me
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Apr 11, 2019 15:54
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Equeen posted:it's also air force propaganda lol so are planes tbh
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Apr 11, 2019 15:58
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got any sevens posted:maybe she could'ved saved earth's Palestinians too? this is the lazy centrist disney/marvel scripting that infuriates me There's going to be at least 2 more movies, maybe they'll fit it in there
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Apr 11, 2019 15:59
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bob dobbs is dead posted:There's going to be at least 2 more movies, maybe they'll fit it in there nobody at dc/marvel has the balls to try a "quest for peace" story or acknowledge gay people got any sevens has issued a correction as of 16:37 on Apr 11, 2019 |
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Apr 11, 2019 16:14
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okie doke let’s steer things back towards mental heAlth and not marvel movies unless it involves mental health in marvel movies in which case go ham I think? I know I contributed and let it go for a bit so people could have fun but cutting it off before it descends into slap fights
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Apr 11, 2019 16:35
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