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AlbieQuirky posted:Does somebody need to explain the entire concept of jokes to tojal? The only bigger waste of time I could imagine is the development of Star Citizen.
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Apr 14, 2019 19:12
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| # ? Jun 3, 2024 15:19 |
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Apr 14, 2019 19:22
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Apr 14, 2019 19:37
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Dementropy posted:Supplemental: Holy poo poo TJ
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Apr 14, 2019 20:08
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Buddy, it's just called a bear, in gay culture or in goon culture Think that hot prefix is coming from inside your head
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Apr 14, 2019 20:10
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Mirificus fucked around with this message at 20:24 on Apr 14, 2019 |
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Apr 14, 2019 20:19
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Muh open development model...
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Apr 14, 2019 20:24
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Relic: so i'm in a relationship with this stunning girl since 2012. in fact i started working on it already one year before. but we really started developing our relationship as of 2014. thats when she gave me a kiss and i was hooked! other girls simply are not on par. well except maybe rockstars. i have to admid though that i spend quite some money on her...she is worth it though! every once and a while she would invite me to an intimate date and that really makes me feel special. now 7 years later sometimes i ask her if we could maybe...you know...get to know each other a little better... the only thing in this regard that we had was that kiss and sometimes she would hold my hand. she told me that she likes patient people and i guess she is right. but yestarday i took all my courage and said to her: Me: “hey why dont we just tear our clothes off and-“ She: “be more patient!“ Me: “YES I'M SO HAPPY YOU'R NOT PUSHING IT!!“
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Apr 14, 2019 20:38
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2019 is the year SC development will really hit its stride.
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Apr 14, 2019 20:44
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When I get back into the game industry, which is never, I'll also start designing eternal alphas. Or do I have to build a theorycrafting platform first? And where can I order 30 000 cultists to get the business going?
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Apr 14, 2019 20:44
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Star Citzit: Rattling around in some pool of sexual insecurity. No the goddamn sexy bears one is still better.
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Apr 14, 2019 20:45
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skeletors_condom posted:Muh open development model... Store Citizer: An alpha of my alpha is my beta
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Apr 14, 2019 20:59
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Sandepande posted:When I get back into the game industry, which is never, I'll also start designing eternal alphas. Getting whales is pretty easy. Most whales are white guys with disposable income, who've lived lives of unquestioned privilege and thus have a certain set of reactions that you can bank on. #1: They do not question other white guys who claim to be experts, no matter how dubious. After all, they are also experts, in everything. Find a white guy who claims to be the expert in the thing you're milking. This should be pretty easy, there are hundreds of them floating about from the 90s and most of them are out of work due to being just unbelievably poo poo at their jobs. #2: They are extremely socially isolated, due to being kind of repellent and having exited the period in their lives when people were forced into contact with them. Give them a place to congregate and claim status over non-whales so they feel safe and protected. They still won't group with each other but that's fine, the pressure of the outside world and judgement from non-believers will force them into contact. Side note- avoid these forums, they will be toxic like you won't believe. #3: They are very nostalgic for things from their past, when the world made more sense and they were not as threatened by change. Find a property from 20-30 years ago that hasn't been already been repurposed and "Ruined" with the inclusion of women and/or minorities, and that your #1 guy can claim to be an expert in. Mostly you'll want to look at video games here- most of them are trash, and media companies haven't bothered to mine them yet. #4: They are easily addicted to the patrician mindset. Convince them that you, the developers, are starving artists and that only through their largesse can you make ends meet. Give them lots of titles and awards to show off to each other about their contributions. Never, ever point out to them that even the biggest whale is a pissant compared to the kind of investment that makes companies actually run. (Ten thousand whole dollars? Thank you Mr. Moneybags!) #5: They are largely non-gamers who don't really like being challenged in their games. Pay To Win is not only fine, it's more or less required. Whales want to be rewarded for their gigantic contributions. They also will pay more if they feel threatened by the possibility of having to face someone who's already spent more to beat them. Maintain an arms race mentality as you constantly introduce more and more expensive poo poo that is basically guaranteed to win. It's okay if you don't explicitly call it P2W, they will all know what it means when you sell one sword for a dollar and another sword for 100 dollars. #6: (Advanced milkers only) They are greedy. Play on their greed! Tell them the value of their assets will only go up up up over time. Build a resale mechanic and convince players to trade your poo poo like a Forex market. They will lose money by the loving truck load and keep coming back for more. A few might actually make a buck, sure, but they will be totally dependent on your company for their income and will not upset the applecart so don't worry about it. --- Now, a few DO NOTs, or things that will gently caress your scheme up: #1: Do not, at any point, appear progressive. Don't talk left, don't look left. Put white guys in front of your cameras. Do not show women in positions of earned authority- nepotism and pretty faces only. These men are extremely self-conscious about the fact that not being challenged on every idiot thing that spills out their mouths is basically all due to a social hierarchy that they are on top of. Anything that reminds them of the ongoing shift will be met with vicious backlash. #2: Do not ever, ever, set anything in stone. As long as you don't say "This lovely thing X is the way that it is, deal with it" your whales will continue to construct sky castles made of dreams, no matter how garbo the thing you've actually delivered is. The day you declare a feature settled, you are effectively burning a big part of your whale population. #3: Do not get on camera and play your game, and most especially do not get on camera and talk game theory with anyone more successful than you. You will look like a jackass and shatter the illusion. Feel free to patronize other scams, and up-and-coming junior devs, because you can condescend to them and your whales will feel like big senior game producers. But try to avoid situations where they can draw a direct comparison between your product and actual, functional products without going out of their way. Keep it scripted, keep it vague, let your idiot underlings play the game- your #1 is an ideas guy now. #4: Only one scam at a time. I mean, you can run multiples with some back-end corporations, but be sure to keep your #1 guy and brand focused on the single property you are targeting. Whales want to feel like they have his full attention, they will get upset if he's off in Monaco or shooting movies or something. #5: Try not to like, actually get into debt. Never forget you are a scam. Don't let your ideas guy spend you into a loving hole. The second you owe actual money to actual banks your days are numbered. If this comes up in an annual report it's time for duffel bags stuffed with cash and a ready-any-time plane ticket to Bermuda. Sarsapariller fucked around with this message at 21:14 on Apr 14, 2019 |
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Apr 14, 2019 21:10
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"I’m pretty sure you’re going to eat your words sooner than you can process." Is that before or after they fix doors and ladders ?
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Apr 14, 2019 21:15
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Sarsapariller posted:Getting whales is pretty easy. Most whales are white guys with disposable income, who've lived lives of unquestioned privilege and thus have a certain set of reactions that you can bank on. To-Do #7: They crave validation. Get as many sources as possible telling them how right and great they are, and how good your product is. Now, you aren't going to get any reputable places to cover your garbage fire, but that's fine if you're making a video game because there aren't any reputable places. In fact their content generation is largely done by exactly the kind of people you are targeting with your scam. You can pretty much just put out press releases and they'll repeat them verbatim. (Not their management, though- those tend to be media execs, be prepared to grease palms or spin up your own fake news outlets if you want full throated support there). #7, Part 2: The new kid on the block for echo chambers is streaming and social media- try to co-opt existing "Big" streamers or just make some of your own, your whales will not know the difference (remember- they don't really play games).
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Apr 14, 2019 21:21
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#8 be a megalomaniac there is only: up/bigger/better there can be no: restraint/modesty/focus that way reasonable, sensible backers drop out and you distill only the fullmetal cultists.
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Apr 14, 2019 21:23
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Bumble He posted:#8 be a megalomaniac At one point I'd have disagreed and said it was more like "Never admit failure" but yeah no, the era of Trump has pretty much proven that there is no level of braggadocious insanity that will make the whale-mindset guy go "Hey now, wait a minute, that seems unrealistic." Prester Jane from the D&D forums actually had a really good analysis of the cycle where hardcore whales weed out the less hardcore, though she was mostly talking about actual cults. Read all about Compaction Cycles over there.
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Apr 14, 2019 21:30
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#9 Never say no. Stay ambitious. Stay ambiguous. If asked if something is doable, answer that you'll definitely do it.. eventually. Never answer with precision. Precision is your enemy. Precision collapses wishes and dreams into reality, and reality is your enemy.
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Apr 14, 2019 21:32
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iron buns posted:
What's the betting this is so they can poo poo it out to live on Star Wars day (look! we released it a day early!) and then try to sell the game to more gullible fools by piggybacking on the tweets/retweets that are bound to be going on that day?
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Apr 14, 2019 21:34
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If I had to distill it down to one point, I'd say that ultimately what these scams all have in common is that they are selling a feeling of relevance. That is what bitcoin or shroud of the avatar or star citizen or fyre festival or tesla or any other major disaster of the last decade has as its core appeal. The idea that the person buying in made a good decision and is ahead of the crowd, that they are supporting or patronizing something through their inherent specialness. Traditional scams appealed to the scam-ee's greed, but modern scams appeal to their deep insecurity. If you can create this feeling, you've made a million bucks right off the bat.
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Apr 14, 2019 21:36
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Amazing Zimmo posted:Store Citizer: An alpha of my alpha is my beta Store Citizer: Alpha game. Beta backers.
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Apr 14, 2019 21:36
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https://twitter.com/RebelGalaxy/status/1117306080684462080?s=19
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Apr 14, 2019 22:04
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Sarsapariller posted:If I had to distill it down to one point, I'd say that ultimately what these scams all have in common is that they are selling a feeling of relevance. That is what bitcoin or shroud of the avatar or star citizen or fyre festival or tesla or any other major disaster of the last decade has as its core appeal. The idea that the person buying in made a good decision and is ahead of the crowd, that they are supporting or patronizing something through their inherent specialness. Traditional scams appealed to the scam-ee's greed, but modern scams appeal to their deep insecurity. like convincing someone at the roulette table: “you know you should place all your money on 7 red. i know all about roulette trust me.“ *marble rolls, its 8 black.* “so close! you should now double your wager on 7 red. what can possibly go wrong?“
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Apr 14, 2019 22:09
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Sandepande posted:When I get back into the game industry, which is never, I'll also start designing eternal alphas. Call Sandi. I'm sure she can help you out.
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Apr 14, 2019 22:19
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Bumble He posted:like convincing someone at the roulette table: That example in particular needs a little tweaking. Instead of standing right there and encouraging them, you instead sell them a book full of ginned-up bullshit with the notion that you are the expert in how roulette wheels work. Then they read it and go to your casino convinced that they are the experts because they've read all the right books! Fortunately this is a thing that never, ever happens in the real- https://www.amazon.com/Double-Cross...ZS5MDEJ3C8CSMBM https://www.amazon.com/Neural-Strat...ZS5MDEJ3C8CSMBM https://www.amazon.com/Packer-Progression-Betting-System-Fastest-ebook/dp/B078BN3TB2 https://www.amazon.com/Beat-Dealer-...ZS5MDEJ3C8CSMBM https://www.amazon.com/Baccarat-One...ZS5MDEJ3C8CSMBM https://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Week...ZS5MDEJ3C8CSMBM Oh. Oh no.
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Apr 14, 2019 22:25
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Sarsapariller posted:Holy poo poo TJ I can’t even handle how insane and homophobic that is so uhhh here’s tojal fuckin a bear I guess 
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Apr 14, 2019 23:02
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Beer4TheBeerGod posted:Store Citizer: Alpha game. Beta backers. Or Beta bearers.
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Apr 14, 2019 23:34
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Store Citizer: 100% artificial gamey flavor - now with no added gameplay loops
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Apr 14, 2019 23:58
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Dementropy posted:
The 1990’s wants its gay panic back. If you’re this afraid of homosexuality that you see THE GAYYYSSSS everywhere, maybe the biggest homosexual is staring back at you in the mirror.
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Apr 15, 2019 00:05
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By the completion of Star Citizens you will have up to 120 star systems! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAn0dYuwqFw&t=2024s
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Apr 15, 2019 00:09
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Sarsapariller posted:Getting whales is pretty easy. Most whales are white guys with disposable income, who've lived lives of unquestioned privilege and thus have a certain set of reactions that you can bank on. Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
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Apr 15, 2019 00:09
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Sarsapariller posted:If I had to distill it down to one point, I'd say that ultimately what these scams all have in common is that they are selling a feeling of relevance. That is what bitcoin or shroud of the avatar or star citizen or fyre festival or tesla or any other major disaster of the last decade has as its core appeal. The idea that the person buying in made a good decision and is ahead of the crowd, that they are supporting or patronizing something through their inherent specialness. Traditional scams appealed to the scam-ee's greed, but modern scams appeal to their deep insecurity. Also a feeling of connection, I'd wager. With increasing technological isolation - and, arguably, the ongoing decline in traditional community and religious faith - people seem to be feeling more jaded and existentially sad. Make them think they're part of something greater than themselves and they'll lap it up. Seriously, these people talk about Star Citizen's release like the Rapture. Both are about as likely to happen.
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Apr 15, 2019 00:22
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I’ve been watching a bit of shark tank lately, and it reminded me of the whole venture capital investment in CIG. It was what 47mil for 5% equity or something like that? That seems like a crazy low amount of equity for a 30 mil a year business with no growth, and ostensibly, zero profits. Makes me wonder what the catch was. On the show they typically want to see a 4, or 5x return on their investment. So how are they going to see big returns from SC and SQ42?
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Apr 15, 2019 00:36
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Apr 15, 2019 01:32
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Warhawk109 posted:I’ve been watching a bit of shark tank lately, and it reminded me of the whole venture capital investment in CIG. It was what 47mil for 5% equity or something like that? That seems like a crazy low amount of equity for a 30 mil a year business with no growth, and ostensibly, zero profits. Makes me wonder what the catch was. On the show they typically want to see a 4, or 5x return on their investment. So how are they going to see big returns from SC and SQ42? <sweaty chris roberts.gif>
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Apr 15, 2019 02:28
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Apr 15, 2019 03:33
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i'm not owned i'm not owned i continue to insist as i slowly grow and transform into a hot bear
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Apr 15, 2019 03:46
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The double-down on the hot bear thing is so weird. They're just called bears! Where are you getting this hot thing from? PS I would absolutely pay 10 bucks to get on a mailing list of CR bear shops.
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Apr 15, 2019 04:55
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I mean they are hot, but
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Apr 15, 2019 05:11
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| # ? Jun 3, 2024 15:19 |
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Language, to the idiot, can only mean one thing, which is whatever he is thinking of at the moment and nothing else. If some gay men are described as "bears" and you see someone pasting images of literal bear heads onto pictures of Chris Roberts then they're both bears in the gay culture sense, duh. The first definition controls for any and all circumstances until the idiot collapses into a semantic black hole located inside his colon and his head is sucked into his own rear end, forever. It is also in this way that an alpha is the most complete game in the history of gaming while also excusing all of its outrageous bugs and unfinished nature.
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Apr 15, 2019 05:14
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